Tom Sawyer invades the last book you've read and messes it up through wordplay

>Rhyme and Punishment
>Razmukhin writes newspaper-tier jokes for the
university
>Rodion used to, but couldn't handle the bantz and dropped out
>Goes crazy, kills an old punbroker

top fuckin kek

Tom Sawyer convinces Triumvir Volyova to hand over the Hell-class weapons to him; calls Captain Brannigan a nigger

>The Rings of Saturn
I guess he would have an obnoxious companion on the walk, so the book would spend more time in scene instead of the quasi-historical reminisces. That would be awful.

Well, I guess it's still about dudes having sex with each other but there's probably some swindlin' and wrasslin' and probably racial political humor thrown in there now to spice things up in between rounds of animalistic buttlove.

>Candide, or Poptimism
It's the same book, but set in the contemporary world, where Candide faces the horrors of capitalist society.
It's about a third of the length, and he ends up becoming a hermit.

>The Repubic
;)

>The Treepublic
A 10 book dialogue about which trees are objectively the best.

Tom Sawyer convinces Eve to eat the forbidden fruit, kills Abel, builds and ark to go floating with his animal friends, seduces some Becky who was married to a high up Egyptian honcho and then vagina blocks her for laughs, rescues a baby in a basket, accidently set loose a swarm of locust on Egypt, kills a giant with one shot from his trusty sling and steals another dudes Becky who he watches take a bath he learned how to make from his Nubian friend, accidently falls in a lions den and doesn't give a fuck, gets thrown into a fire and doesn't burn because fuck you that's why, follows Jesus on his adventures and looses all the fish and bread they had to feed everybody, swapped a jar of water with a jar of wine when nobody was looking, put on a fake beard and pretended to be blind so Jesus could heal him, pretended to be Lazarus and freak everyone out, when J-man has doubts about the cross hides behind a rock pretending to be God basically guilt tripping him into doing it, changed his name to paul and accidentally found a whole religion and then gets taken to the Rome and feed to a tiger for a roaring crowd of plebs.

7/10 would read again.

>bit the IJ meme
>Tom Sawyer is now a drug addict in tennis camp

Spicier or Spicer?

This orthodox monk is put to seclusion because he is ROTTEN.

>Son by Lois Lowry

Everyone is now a Fence

An essay about how a hillbilly explored the middle East and wrote a grammatically infantile version of the Al Azif after receiving eldritch information. It drives people to madness because of how hard it is to read and they run endlessly spewing profanities.

esta merda anglo não pode arruinar Os Lvsíadas

I always found The Rat in Spats to be such a weird joke

>Crows and powder
It's about a bunch of crows and the way they are addicted to sniffing powder.

>The metamorphosis
Beetles are afraid of apples now

>At Swim-Two-Birds
It's exactly the same

>Discourse on the Dick

Finally.

Go for it little fag boy. Last book I read was Hill 188.

The Piss Ability of Annie's Land

(checked)
Hill 1488 might be something

Fuck, i didn't read well the rules of the game

Oedipus rex is now Oedipus Tex, basically the same story but he is a Texan Senator

>"Rabbit" by Sinclair Lewis

A depressed middle-class business-rabbit gradually sickens of eating carrots, but lacks the imagination to seek out any other food.

>not Heil 188

underrated

pulitzer/10

The plague

It'll go dark fast