Are you guys ready for some Authentic italian food?

Delicious Pesto-style sauce. I can almost taste it now, I imagine it taste very similar to pesto!

Wopmart

God I love fresh-picked sauce. When you serve them up over some spaghetti straight off the tree it’s always a 10/10 meal.

>spaghetti straight off the tree
A classic
youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU

>Sam's choice
Who is Sam?

...

Some douche who killed small businesses across America, inadvertently replacing the availability of quality goods with a deluge of cheaply made garbage imported from countries where said goods are made using wage-slaves and environmentally destructive processes.

>culturally enriched spaghetti

He also started out as a small business, not his fault it was so successful

What are some of the good ones you've found?

>shops at walmart
Glad I've never been in one

Nothing is more freeing then going to a store that allows you to shit yourself in one of their electric carts.

S H A R T
C A R T

Lol, appearently they are already afraid of Aldi and Lidl.

>quality goods

germany on the rise again

The mud on the floor shows their dedication to an all natural approach

The mastermind behind the Las Vegas massacre

Can't believe this shit. We invented this and all these other cocksuckers are getting rich off it...fucking walmart... And it's not just the money, all our food: Pizza, calzone...buffalo mozzarella, olive oil! These fucks have nothing. They ate pootzi before we gave them the gift of our cuisine. But this, this is the woist, this walmart shit.

educational

Chill out, Luigi.
It'll be about as authentic Italian as I am.

You didn’t invent shit

Their salsa is really good at half the cost of Pace

Their Olive oil is actually 100% olive, this really can't be too bad.

My favorite Italian restaurant, all others BTFO

Fine Dinng, user.
Stay classy.

they gave me wine when I was 16
I didn't even ask. They offered it and didn't check an ID

fucking based

You can drink at 16 if you're having a meal and an adult purchases it for you.

We spell 'mamma' with three Ms, my non-Italian friend.

You're about as Italian as chairman Mao. And what the fuck is 'pootzi?' Do you mean 'puzzi?' Are you suggesting people eat farts? I can guarantee that outside of a few fetishists, the consumption of poo-gas is not terribly common.

I'd give it a try. I'm all for convenience if it comes even somewhat close to the real thing. Or is so convenient/quick to prepare and still edible that I'll take the substantial reduction in quality. Aldi used to sell this shelf-stable gnocchi dinner kit with a little squeeze pouch of condensed tomato sauce in the box. Also cheese in a separate pouch. Surprisingly enough, that shit was delicious. Not just 'good for a packaged food' but actually fucking tasty. But they stopped carrying it for some reason.

I've never heard that before, but I was 16 and sitting there with other 16 year olds
we rode our bikes to olive garden and were served alcohol unsolicited

then my retarded friend left a huge tip because he kept ordering bread and the waiter never charged us for it
...who charges for bread?

56% genuine Italian, just like all americans.

Once i was really dopesick and for some reason i needed to go get something at walmart. As soon as I entered the store i ran to the bathroom, sat on the toilet with a cold sweat pouring down my face I defiled the toilet as i prayed for death to take me away.

After what seemed like an eternity I cleaned myself up and went to go get the item I needed. Five minutes later I was in the middle of the store and needed to shit again. I ran to the bathroom but this time I wouldnt make it.

It was then I realized I am no longer a man, I am a meme. A Shart in the Mart.

Lucky for me it was a solid shit and I had shorts on so I was someone elses problem now. I also got really good and high after so there is that.

Laughing all the way to the bank, Alfredo.

I like making spaghetti. I'll try it.

I don't like that wal mart runs everything out of business BUT the prices are fantastic.

>Beefaroni
baka

At our local wal mart a young girl about 18 or so was wearing a skirt just took a shit on the floor in front of everyone. She ran off right after. I'm convinced she did it for money.

It's just co packed ragu or Prego stop sperging.

No you can't

Fuck you.

I love italian food!

You can, actually. Not just 16, but any age as long as the parents are the one giving it to them.

wat

...

this stuff is pretty good

How am I supposed to know if it melts if it doesn't say so on the pack??

/b/BC

Perché non fanno cucinare cibo italiano agli italiani e basta?

I mean i will go read the ingredients and decide if it's crap or not before casting judgement. I mean, if it doesn't have shit ingredients in it, then I will probably buy it.

>Not Marie's Choice

Missed a trick.

i hope you OD

Found the walcuck

That was 2 and 1/2 years ago and im not dead yet. what walmart do you work at ill make sure to take a shit in that one next time

buffalo is american

he had a crackcrap

>enriched spaghetti

>american education

underrated

This. I love that we've stolen everyone's cuisine, made it faster and easier and get all of their money. Europeans are such little fucking faggot bitches about every little fucking faggot thing, oooh I'm too italian to hurry, I'm too spanish to keep flies away from my food, I'm too french to even be taken seriously and need to be kicked down a flight of stairs because I'm a maoist. You hippies keep your "slow food" and let daddy make all the money.

Behold the man exempt from everything I have just said and seemingly the only motherfucker alive who knows that alfredo sauce has onion in it

HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT

nah m8. fazolis is where its at.

Gave me flashbacks to "Marie's italian tomato sauce"

>Europeans are such little fucking faggot bitches about every little fucking faggot thing, oooh I'm too italian to hurry, I'm too spanish to keep flies away from my food, I'm too french to even be taken seriously and need to be kicked down a flight of stairs because I'm a maoist.

this so fucking much

...

>authentic italian
>authentic mexican
>authentic anything
Does this even mean anything anymore? I feel like the word authentic has been bastardized so much that even if Mama Luigi himself took a shit on a plate and called it spaghet and meatball in the middle of rome it wouldn't mean jack shit.

>enhanced spaghetti

...

Marie is going to be so excited! This will pair well with her the homemade Italian cuisine.

Honestly it's good that Wal Mart is stepping up their products.

A lot of us are unfortunate to live in flyover country where they're the most convenient grocery store near us.

Sam Walton founded Walmart in 1962. He died in 1992, but evidently is still choosing merchandise to sell in his many stores.

The fantastic prices are what run everything else out of business.

Nobody gives a shit about your specific 3mm width pasta paired with a vaguely flavorful cheese that tasted better when the Greeks did it first. Every person I know who's traveled to Europe, myself included, has remarked that they were let down by the cuisine of Italy. They expected more considering how much you people talk it up.

Nutty bars, Buffalo sauce, white cheddar popcorn, and tea bags are all aces for sure.

That's because you are a fag and your friends are fags. Save up your allowance and you can visit Italy some day

Please post more memes making fun of Italian people please. Thanks.

Already been there faggot. It's a shithole.

true

Also true

Not him but...
photos of you on your trip+timestamped photo of you now or pic of your stamped passport or it didn't happen
I've been to Italy. Hadn't had one bad or even disappointing meal my entire time there.

OOOHHHHHH, watch it.

It depends state to state and even in states that allow it its ultimately up the establishment. I've had places allow it and not allow it here in Wisco when was growing up.

Not him, but you first.

I am!

Fuck this reminds me of running into italians on TF2, me and my friend would taunt them by just saying ETZIO AUDITORE over voice with thick accents. The meme lives to this day with any italian that shows up we have to just be like "AYYYY ETZIO" and "oh shit are you the guy from assassins's creed? like the italy one????". They get mad every fucking time. You don't need any other meme, just accuse every single italian person of being the legendary ETZIO AUDITORE.

>uncle named fucking mario

when did Larry David start making pasta?

really enriched my spaghetti

Take it easy, Paulie.

Sorry, Luigi you're considered white by 2017 current year standards.

I once had a short Italian male teacher named Mario. He dressed up as Luigi for Halloween.