Spicy Food Stories

>spice
sage

Recently ordered some dried Carolina Reaper pods. Nibbled on one in between bites of my meal, and it wasn’t too bad.
Then I used a couple to make some salsa, and it turned out really delicious, but pretty damned spicy.
But I’m a glutton for punishment, so I ate the biggest pod whole, and then chased it down with a bottle of tobasco sauce.

I cried like a baby. Seriously, the last time I cried before this was 9 years ago, when my firstborn son came into this world. That has nothing on these tears though. I prayed for death. I literally got on my fucking knees in front of the toilet and tried to make amends with Jesus. I stopped going to Church when I was 15, and considered myself an atheist, but this shit changed my life.
Just two days ago I talked to my local priest about setting up an appointment to do my confessions and get right with god again.

i have friends who legit think the sausage sandwich and the mcchicken are on the 'way too spicy' end of the food spectrum

I went to a place called chicks & wings. It wasn't the spiciest I ever had, but I didn't know that touching your dick would cause intemse burning. I was going crazy yelling and hollering in the bathroom.

yes.
started out with normal stuff
>handing ballons at the mall
>playing some instruments
but then they once they got formed a worker coalition they started doing shit like
>exchange lactose free milk for regular milk
>laughing at me and changing products in my cart.
>sitting on a step ladder and trowing stuff at me from the next aisle.
don't know why they don't get fired. it doesn't happen to often but their "jokes" aren't funny at all.

I've eaten habaneros wraped in bacon and stuffed with mozzarella cheese, my friend tricked me to eat one that i didn't knew what it was, had to take a lot of milk and i like spicy food.
And one day my sister was eating with her boyfriend and added some pickled onions with birds eye chili but he touched the food with his hands then when he finished and went to the bathroom to pee and well you can imagine how that felt

if your hands are dirty from food, dont touch your dick

That's beautiful

I eat fresh habaneros raw, I don't find them too spicy. The worst I ever ate was a dried ghost pepper dipped in white chocolate. My dumb fuckin ass thought the chocolate would make it more bearable. I felt like I got punched in the stomach and almost puked for about 10 minutes. Thankfully I didn't. Didn't even get hiccups.

I ate one little red chili pepper once. I could not handle it at all though, I was running around blind and out of my mind. Why do kids even do drugs when you can just eat a hot ass pepper? Seriously such an intense experience.
Unfortunately the next day I had the runs and the pepper passed through me mostly undigested. Same situation without the running and blindness basically.

Did you try complaining to the manager or something? this sounds obnoxious and the milk thing is fucked up

i doubt the veracity of this tale

My problem is mouth to gut ratio. I fucking love the heat as I'm eating it, but in my stomach...and on the way out I fucking hate it. Oblivious to that fact I made a concoction--Sambal Oelek as the base, a LOT of powdered cayenne pepper, and raw, food processed habanero and jalapeño. GOD DAMN it was awesome...I started eating it by itself at one point.

Blew my nose a bunch of times...coughed...red face. Hours later, my stomach...that burn you feel slowly work down from abdomen to your lower guts. A bit bloated...nightly dump gets booty blasted by the burn of self-indulgence was the headline. The fucked thing is...I crave it. I want to do it again even though I dominate a toilet in pain later that night. Hurts so good, I guess...My weakness is a fiery-hot sauce with a ketchup-like consistency. Minimal vinegar or salt. Thicc heat.

The hottest salsa at pepper planet or whatever the hot sauce franchise is called. Tasted like salsa. A minute later, mouth started burning and I had uncontrollable crying. I was smiling the whole time, but I could not stop crying. Crying lasted about 5 minutes. Burning lasted about an hour. I would not do it in public again. It was embarrassing. Highest I had before was 30k and this was like 300k.

It was Death By Salsa at Pepper Palace. Google says it has 2-3 million SHU. I'd only do it again for money.

I enjoy hot sauces that make most people nearly cry from the smell alone. Can't really tell which one was the hottest as I only get a new bottle after the current one Is gone so i can't really compare the different brands.

Buuuuut I'd say it'd be one of the two with the Trinidad scorpion in them, tasted amazing but hurt me in more ways than just burning me. Made my stomach feel like it was melting and my bowels were filled with hot glass.

But this one with habenero is also pretty close to those two, as it was a paste instead of a sauce so it was much stronger than it should've been. All tasted fantastic but no one I knew had enough of a resistance to spicy food to taste anything but stinging pain.

Also rub your eyes after eating spicy shit, the sensation is fantastic

I went to Mexico one time. Most restaurants served you two little cups with hot salsa: a red one with the traditional hotness of peppers, and a green one with that wasabi-like hotness. The red one usually was milder so you could spread it on tacos and whatnot, but one day I went to a place that for some reason had the mildest fucking green sauce and the hottest fucking red sauce I've ever tasted. It had little chunks of something inside that were even hotter. Gulped down like a whole liter of beer right away. Pretty crazy stuff.

I ate 12 raw ghost peppers. It was extremely unpleasant. I would not do it again.

A bhut jolokia??? Some pepper like that. I ate a whole raw one on 5 seperate occasions because they are delicious. But i wont lie i cant handle it very well. Quarts of milk right after. Although the unrippened peppers are very sweet and juicy and excelent in verde sauce as they are bright green.

Goddamn.
Reminds me of this guy I know who runs this BBQ place, has his own custom hot sauces one of which was one of the hottest things I ever had.

Any ways he ate a raw Trinidad scorpion once because he hadn't made them into the sauce yet. What he described i later felt. It'd burn and then go away, then you'd feel it in your stomach and it go away again, then it'd come back...etc as it burned its way through your system.

Funniest part was there was a stoner working their round this time and he sarcastically dared him to eat a tiny one for a sweet $100.

Dumbass chompec it before he could say it was a joke. So stoner sat for the rest of his shift crying in a corner and never came back to work after that.

Heard this story the first time I met the guy at his restraunt when I was first getting into spicy shit, he told me to it because I was one of the few to go try his then new Trinidad scorpion sauce that day (thermonuclear meltdown he called it)

Took my adorb cousin to a specialty hipster hot sauce store
New guy offered me one of thier products and just as I eat it the manager comes out screaming bloody murder.
Apparently I was supposed to sign a waiver from any damage caused or something, next thing I know my mouth is popping then burning and start welling up
Manager begs me to sign the form while I am freaking out from the heat.
Tried everything from milk, creams, tortilla chips, olives for some reason.
After an hour it dies down.
Go back the next day and tell them I won't sue if I can get a couple things whenever I like and to not fire the new guy.
Sold myself very short for metaphorically eating sulphuric Lazer fire acid, just was incredibly lazy to not sue

Ever imagine weaponizing that?
A toothpick, then *Jab* instant burning and screaming
No one would stop your onslaught!

I went to a Vietnamese restaurant with a Japanese foreign exchange student once. He saw a slice of some strongass pepper in his soup and thought it was okra. It was not okra.

That poor bastard had no natural immunity to spicy. We laughed like hell at him though.

Spiciest thing I ever ate was a Trinidad scorpion pepper, eaten on a dare at work. A co-worker had just come back from her home country and brought some peppers with her. It didn't look too spicy, and I love hot food anyway. I took the raw pepper from her hand and chewed the pepper whole (minus the stem) in one shot. That shit was hot. I was coughing for a few minutes, and drinking water for ten. Got that good heat sweat on the scalp and neck. 10/10 would do again.

>bought some sort of “world’s hottest hot sauce”
>hot as fuck
>shaking the bottle one day and the cap comes off
>hot sauce all over my hand
>wipe it with a napkin and continue cooking
>went to take a pee 2 hours later
>penis is literally on fire and I’m splashing cold water on it in the sink
>pain finally goes away
>banging my wife later that night
>she starts freaking out and grabbing her crotch

That fucking hot sauce destroyed a few sets of genitals that day.

His tale is true. It makes visiting the grocery store less of a chore and more of an adventure.

Pure crushed bird's eye chillies
The lower amount is fine, we like to go here. It is fun to see other's reactions.
The time when I ate the super spicy one I threw up. Since then I eat the lower levels ones. It was mind numbing.

Me and some of my buddies made a large pot of vegetarian chilli once with a whole box of chopped habaneros in it. Was so hot we had to cut it with copious amounts of sour cream to little avail, and when we ran out of that we turned to heavy cream.

The main thing I remember was when I shit afterwards I hardly felt any burning, because my whole asshole and butt were numb from the pain.

i used to eat habaneros whole because it helps with congestion and sinus pressure... yeah i would definitely do it again. it's just mouth pain, not like a wound. you get used to it very quickly

bhut Jolokia sauce, the packaging was in Poo-runes or some kind of other south asian language so i have no idea what it was named
it had no taste beyond vinegar and bitter death and seems more like a chemical weapon than a condiment

>penis is literally on fire
>literally on fire
>literally

I've made some incredibly spicy foods before with birdseyes and scotch bonnets and jalapenos all mixed together.

Hottest I've ever had was a phall at a small Indian place and they came to my table saying it was a "special delivery". It was a bit of work at some points and my eyes were tearing up a bit and my nose was sniffly but I finished every last drop of that shit though. I haven't encountered anything too spicy to eat in years.

>be me
>go to firehouse subs after work, if you've never been they're like a half-step above jimmy johns quality, their one standout is all the different hot sauces they have
>hot sauces range from tabasco to ghost pepper sauce
>now I consider myself able to handle some heat so I go for the dave's insanity sauce (300,000 on the scoville scale)
>add one drop to a bite, get some heat but it's palatable
>decide in my infinite wisdom to pour about a tablespoon on the next bite
>mouth on fire, break out in a flop sweat
>pound my drink, it's not effective
>run over to the soda fountain and start pounding all the soda I can, again minimally effective
>spend the next 10 minutes in the bathroon with my tongue under yhe faucet and wiping my face off with paper towels
>had to throw out my sub and scamper home in shame
The shits the next day were almost as bad

>four hot dogs
>four diced carolina reapers
>my ass the next day

I was eating one whole habanero pepper per day, a few years ago. it wasnt so bad going through my mouth down my throat. the trouble was it felt like lava was churning in my GI tract an hour or two later. I had ghost pepper sauce ( naga jolokia ) from south carolina as well. The burning sensation was searing and i felt euphoric. quite psychoactive while the burn was full fledged.

...

Went to a place (Slater's 50/50) famous for their monthly special burgers. One time they had something called the 50 alarm burger. The Patty itself was anmix of groynd beef, bacon, and ghost peppers. Then some ghost pepper jack on there, whole habanero poppers, and spicy mayo. It was so fucking hot my friend went pale, then red, then started mumbling incoherently. The shits afterwards good God. Also on the list atomic wings from Wingstop. They are easy enough to handle going down but coming out it's fucking hell.

I make special chicken in salsa.
10 Serrano peppers
1 medium tomato
1 medium onion
garlic cloves
salt and pepper

roast peppers and tomato blend it all smooth pour over
pan fried skinless boneless tights and let simmer add 1/4 cup stock blended with cilantro takes a the end.

I then pour all this over steamed rice and stuff my face.

it's usually pretty spicy but no big loop, my uncle gifted me some Serrano peppers he grew himself, it smelled spicy, watery eyes spicy, feels like I'm getting raided while it cooks. spicy as fuck can't stop eatng trough the delicious pain, on 3rd serving spoonfuls goes down the wrong pipe, cough it trough my nose, triggers gag reflex, keep it down by a miracle from god, snot and spit and tears everywhere. 100% worth it.

Why not get most of the seeds out? Some people follow this unspoken rule about not defiling the peppers. It's silly.

i had a pretty decent sampling of pic related (3.5 million scoville), about 5 drops, straight up

it took about 5 minutes to kick in,
-painful breathing
-pretty strong sweating
-slight delirium, lost track of time and functioned sort of on autopilot
for like 15 minutes

wicked endorphin high though

:^)

yes and theyre so fucking annoying

atomic wings arent shit my dude

A whole habanero. Agony for half an hour, then discomfort for an hour or so. Chugging milk barely did anything. Wouldn't do it again for anything less than $100

>Warning: This product is not meant for rectal administration.

Blair’s after death sauce, one drop is plenty for a large bowl of soup

Once ate a challenge burger that claimed to be the hottest in the country and I believe every word of that claim.

I am GOOD with spice, I like it and it doesn't faze me, but fuck me sideways my hands were shaking after a bite and I got through 1/4 of it before giving up. It was a huge burger mind you, but I gave up pretty quickly. It also tasted pretty vile. It was bitter and sour and the flavours on the burger clashed because it was loaded with pickled jalapenos and a whole raw onion on top of whatever the sauces were.

My tastebuds didn't work properly for more than a week after eating.

10/10 would never attempt it again but will take great pleasure in convincing my friends to give it a go.

Sis dared me to eat super spicy taiwan sausages and she will order honeydew juice with milk for me
went and get it, fucking tearing as I'm eating it
>where the fuck is my honeydew juice with milk
>oh sorry i forgot to order hehe

grab other customer's drink, apologized, and finished his iced lemon tea
never again

I once put just a drop of Tabasco on my breakfast egg. My mouth felt scorched for a half a day. Never again.

A sauce I got from the local butcher, labelled as "Calabrese bomb" (Calabria is a region of Italy which is famous for its got peppers). I tried some on a crouton and it made my mouth numb, my eyes teary and my gullet burn. It was pretty fucking painful to eat.

I got Fillipian habanero imports, they were probably as hot as the weak Carolina Reapers I get my hands on. I put three of them into a small noodle dish. I was forcing myself to eat it. Constantly gagging. Nearly threw up.

When you are constantly eating ridiculously spicy food, your tongue can detect it like someone who recently got hungover from vodka can detect vodka in his coka cola.

I had ghost pepper cereal. Just a bunch of dried peppers in milk. It was a pretty fun challenge.

>Went to Pakistani place my dad's Pakistani Heart Surgeon suggested
>He tells us it's "really hot"
>He's old and brown heed his warning
>Get butter chicken ask for it "Extra spicy"
>The old Pakistani lady running the restaurant quite possibly has never seen anyone under "random search"-tier darkness at her restaurant
>She makes it extra spicy to expunge the white devil from her store
>One bite was so much hotter than I expected
>I ate about half and drank two drinks and asked for a to-go box and left in shame

10/10 would do it again, I asked for it extra spicy and I got brown people spicy, I love you old Pakistani lady

Bhut jolokia curry. the first spoon was intense because I wasnt expecting it. After that, it didnt seem so spicy. It was limited, so I cant find it anymore.
Ive eaten some habaneros, and just had a komodo dragon chili. it was shit

kek, there is no tradition on color/hotness, if you don't have the balls to deal with the hotness you should try every salsa before drenching your tacos

>thinking a McChicken is spicy.
What a sad existence that must be.

The hottest I've ever had was some sort of Carolina Reaper sauce my friend got from North Carolina. We ate drops from the end of a straw, it was incredibly strong. We talked a friend into putting some on his nipples. He couldn't handle it, and jumped into the local swimming pool. They made everyone get out for like 15 minutes, people's eyes started to burn.