Pig Roast stories?

Pig Roast stories?

So I was in Toronto the other week to visit a friend who moved there. Him and girlfriend were going to bed fairly early, so I thought I would explore the city as I have never been. Fucking awesome people. Met a crowd at the bar by his house, had a few laughs and exchanged numbers. He said to come by for a pig roast at his house just outside of the downtown area. So he actually texts me, and insists I come, as it will be quite a party. And fuck it was. Those Canadians held it the fuck down. Anyways, got there around noon and they had started the roast. They got me black out drunk almost, I think the weed they kept passing me contributed. But holy shit, such fun. I never knew how much you could get of a pig. I woke up the next morning on a couch, and smelled all the meat they had been smoking/curing. Best. Breakfast. Ever. Some country boy brought a fuck load of eggs, and a dude was outside making giant pancakes in a cast iron pan over the still going fire. Don't think he slept all night.

Tldr; went to a pig roast in Canada and had a load of fun. Look forward to going next year as they invited me back.

what a boring story.

Gay.

This.
It needed more gay sex.

What a fucking degenerate

The food parts were cool though

Never fear, they raped the shit out of him when he blacked out.

>eh goe to pig roast
>pige is on roast
>have some beers
>pig roast is roast
>fun times because have pig
>got cool with the pig and the roast

lel

Once, a guy invited me to fuck his wife while she blew him. They served zinfandel

used to work pig roasts. good times! ate as i served so always full

how much bacon do you actually get roughly? Can you eat it right away like OP is saying?

>in high school
>get first gf
>she black
>her whole family black
>from the swamp
>go to family reunion with her
>only white person there
>they love me
>get trashed with her country ass uncle
>he calls me his nigga
>tells me how he hates other blacks
>help the guys kill a pig
>string it up and have to hold it still while they slit his throat
>help cut up meat and cook
>we make pork chops and boudin and roast and cracklins on the spot
>grow to hate her but continue relationship another few months solely bc of her fat ass and cooking

hi op i just moved to toronto and i have no frens
can i be your +1 next year?

huhhuhuhuhu. this is funny

you literally cook the whole pig, head and all and just dig away at it.

So when OP said he was eating bacon in the morning, you don't have to do anything to it? I thought it took more time to prepare after roasting?

i dont think OP mentioned bacon.

> I woke up the next morning on a couch, and smelled all the meat they had been smoking/curing.

No bacon here

How many of you did it take to screw the ostrich?

Maybe it's because I'm drunk as hell, but I giggled like a faggot.

Is it just me or is this story actually about an all night gay orgy?

>toronto
>ostrich
>bestiality
>mixing up the commonwealth memes this bad
Americans really are retarded.

>Him and girlfriend were going to bed
user, I...

they were kindly telling me to get out while they fucked I think....

how the fuck

that is the whitest shit I have ever heard of black people doing

that is straight up hillbilly shit

I think he means his friend's girlfriend

Dems bayou country, boah

I take it you've never seen Letterkenny?

nice blog post faggot

sage

well that is a better time than I've ever had in toronto, glad you enjoyed it

I had such a good time in Toronto last time I went. I went for work, ended up just staying another 3 days for a little vacation. Didn't even get docked the pay, boss was drinking with me. Nice people for sure.

One day we had a greasy breakfast, indian for lunch, greek for dinner, then got drunk at a bar and went and had late night sushi. I was surprised at how good I felt the next day. Everyplace we went was really good.

Thanks Canada! The only thing you need to fix is your laws regarding alcohol sales. In Toronto, you couldn't buy beer at any store, some province run/company run bullshit.

>never been in the wonderful south of the United States.

went to a pig roast, met the host, nice guy, wearing shorts and an apron - sweating his balls off standing over the pit. spent all night there, got another keg delivered, dude was having a blast. 6 months later he kills himself, had major depressive disorder. crazy that you can just forget about the great times when you're in an episode.

went with a friend to his friend's birthday party. they're West African and it was a big family event. only went because i heard that they'd be roasting a goat.

drove an hour to the suburbs to the house and wandered into their backyard.
about 30 children/family members, felt hella awkward.

goat was good tho.

Or he could've already committed to the plan, it's not unusual for people to go sky diving or buy a sports car before they off themselves.

Either as a way to see if doing "fulfilling" tasks will make them see that life is worth living, or just to knock it off the bucket list because what's the worse that can happen?

I know it sounds fucked, but sometimes I wish i was suicidal. Like, no care in the world. Blow all my savings, rack up debt with no concern, only looking to the next good thing, not the next day....