I have to invent a fucking cocktail

Okay alcoholics, I have to make a cocktail and so far, all the ideas I had are made by some faggot in youtube or I can only think of a spirit+mixer drink (that's not enough)
So far I got some faggy tiki drink made of custard apple and rum, and a probably disgusting drink made of beet juice, vodka and kvas
Any ideas before I just give up?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=ISFNTRaXRiI
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zimmermann_Telegram
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Try doing a twist on an old fashioned or a sour

calm down nigger
first of all, why do you have to invent a cocktail? why did you make this fake as fuck-thread to begin with?
second, what are the rules? can anything go in it or anything that'd be in a real-life bar and not a b8 thread?
third, what are you priorities? should it be tasty? cheap? easy to make?

Why do you have to make it? If you are a first timer, like most people including myself, just keep it simple. You dont want to try and be crazy and end up fucking it.

Just think of some tasty flavor combinations and make your drink(s) off of that. Do a little research into alcohol flavors like how whiskey tastes or how gin tastes, etc.

I was looking for doing a twist of watever (for example a collins) but with pine syrup, but since I can't buy that without getting bankrupt I am trying to make it myself, so far with no luck

You could try to make a juniper syrup with juniper berries instead

it's a competition
and anything goes, apparently if you do something extra faggy there's higher chances to win.

You could do like a mulled wine inspired cocktail

Something with sparkling red grape juice and spices, garnish with an orange slice and cinnamon stick, heated up. Could make it creamy with an egg white maybe

what is your favourite base spirit?

Where about do you live?

I am Spanish, and the main problem is that I am a kind of spirit+mixer guy or straight whiskey, I firmly believe coctails are only good to pass cheap booze so I am not really inspired about mixing drinks.

so do something faggy
I suggest lychee or kiwi juice (super faggy+not too pricey+not too flavorful), copper & king's butchertown (insist on some meme spirit), generous amounts of ice (to cover flavor), generous splashing of simple syrup and a marschino cherry for presentation

then just invent a carribean country whose flavours it supposedly incorporates into a modern, american experience of bar culture

youtube.com/watch?v=ISFNTRaXRiI

Traitor's noose. Johnny Walker Red, a Lindt chocolate ball, and a piece of dog shit from an Afghan hound.

Base them off puns.

"The Black Mexican"
>4oz silver tequila
>2oz coffee liqueur
>Serve on ice in an old fashioned glass

"Nazis in Tijuana" or "The Zimmermann Telegram"
>1oz silver tequila
>1oz Jägermeister
>12oz Corona Extra
>Pour beer into a vase glass, add liquor and stir well. Garnish with a lime wedge.

you are a master

Sorry about that, I deleted my earlier post because I wanted to add the type of dog.

>Vodka
>/SIP/
>????
>PROFIT

too bad I can't serve dog shit
or the fact nobody really knows John Walker in Spain

that's my usual weekend drink

Who's it for?

If masculinity's not a serious selling point of your drink, cranberry and lime juice will mask just about anything. I've got one happy accident where I just rammed the alcohol I had left into a glass with some cranberry gingerale and a lime, and god damn. That's more wintery though.

If you're going the juniper route, a take on a gin and tonic, possibly with a bit of thai basil and orange or grapefruit instead of lime or lemon would be good. Make your own tonic if you can get some decent cinchona bark.

I work best with constraints of some kind. If you give me complete carte blanche, I'm just going to spew a shitload of ideas that might not work.

I have charte blanche but I don't know shit outside spirits and liquor

use amaretto. it's delicious, chicks love it, and it's highly under-utilized.

>2 oz amaretto
>2 oz rum
>1 oz some sort of cream (cream, half and half, milk, cream based liqueur)

it would taste like a dr pepper ice cream

it's true chicks dig amaretto, I dislike that shit but every girl gets crazy when I mention it

The alcohol will kill the germs. Besides, it's JW Red, it already tastes like shit.

>Okay alcoholics, I have to make a cocktail so you guys do it for me

Anyway, I just happened to make one much earlier this year while drunk. Even snapped a pic of it.

get a big spoonful of maraschino cherries and spoon it into a glass
pour a little pit of the juice in too
drip in a really hot jelly sauce (not tobasco. stuff that has the actual flavor of strong chili flesh. Used something called scotch bonnet jelly)
Mix it all up then fill the glass to about half way with white overproof rum
then fill the rest with sunny delight and drop an ice cube on top
Do not mix.
let it sit for a while and syrupy stuff and cherries sink to the bottom, juice and melted water is towards the top

The cocktail has no name but it sure is fun to drink. When you get to the bottom, it's sweet and peppery along with the bite of the alcohol.

you can call it antipersonnel mine

Get yourself some mezcal and be sure to remind the judge(s) that "its not tequila, its mez-cal" with an annoying elongated ennunciation on the -cal like cowl or coal. Use a tropical fruit thats not handily available but widely known like a blood orange or some meme-berry like acai, flavor doesnt matter as much as the association of how good its supposed to be. Drizzle in simple syrup from a bottle labled eith as many buzzwords as you can fit (free trade, organic, cruelty free, himalayan, low sodium) until its as drinkable as regular juice. As a garnish, and this is important, go to your local pharmacy/apothecary/supplements vendor and get L-arginine, pygeum and zinc supplement. Take them for a week in advance order to get the full effect, a massive amount of ejaculate floating around the top of the drink. Stir with a pink or rainbow umbrella toothpick to get it swirly but not cloudy then top with ground cinnamon.

Wa la, a spicy he-whore

literal faggy drink, not bad

Ok... I'm just going to spew some ideas.

Seasonal:
2 spiced rum, 1 kirsch, splash of simple syrup or grenadine, juice of 1/2-7/8 tangerine, garnish with wedge of remainder. - old-fashioned/rocks glass

Cold:
1 Gin, 1/2 triple sec, dash bitters, alcoholic ginger beer, garnish with rosemary or juniper. Collins glass or champagne flute

Tropical:
2 white rum, syrup of brown sugar, ginger and lime juice, club soda/sprite/7up, float small dash of cassis, garnish with a slice of ginger and a lime wedge. - Highball/collins

If you want an actual suggestion, make literally any super sweet drink you find, swirl smoke into it, call it a smokey (sex pun) and call it a day. The smoke wont impart a strong flavor with all the sugar but the presentation will be impressive to whatever ho bag you are trying to liquor up.

No, no. Use the recipe here with the ejaculate and add a big brown sausage as a stirrer. Then use the smoke technique and call it a /pol/ smoker.

>Sausage in a drink
Honestly theres precedent for semen in a drink. Any sausage not made specifically for the drink would taste awful

Rum, maraschino liqueur, simple syrup if you feel it needs it, mesquite/hickory torched up an alembic, directed onto the surface of the drink.

El Presidente.

please, have you ever had a bloody mary?

with semen or sausage?

drinker's choice

Lemon ice tea.
A little vanilla extract.
A little maple syrup.
And spiced rum.

I got a drink for ya, it's one part whiskey and one part whiskey. I call it a double

Why don't you narrow down what sort of flavor profile you want to go with bud and go from there

>Bloody Mary
Thats cheating and you know it. Besides OP says it has to be original

>The Zimmermann Telegram

The recipe for this should be:

>16 oz watermelon flavored drink
>skittles to taste
>1 shot

Lol can I have a shot of Zimmerman pls? Can you illegally stalk me first? I want it to be authentic.

8oz of watermelon drank
1 shot of cheap rotgut vodka
6 skittles.
1 9mm bullet
garnish with wet grass.

Cinnamon vodka, lemonaide, sprite.

Just plop whole bottles from your bar down along with some random fruits and mixers and say the cocktail is deconstructed.

>following someone briefly in a public place is stalking

Nice try, nigger.
Traytray got TO HIS HOME AND TURNED BACK TO FIGHT HIM.

Did you even watch the trial?

cranberry juice + the shittiest, bottom shelf-est vodka you can find

garnish with an orange peel

Do a gin and tonic with a dash of pine in it, maybe even throw in a cedar branch to really accent the pine flavors

I had this one about three times when I still drank
It's
>1 part vodka
>1 part cheap white wine
>1 part beer
If you want a weirdly tasting, strong, and slightly disgusting champagne, well, there you go.

This is my first time noticing the second bloody mary perched in there

Fuckin choice

That was in the plan, I have a super aladin round here

2 parts apple martini flavored crystal lite
1 part methadone

Delcious fag tiki drink OP

2 parts vodka
1 part triple sec
2 part mango
1 part Orange juice
1 part ice

Blend, serve in a tiki glass with a straw

and yes I mean cubed mango, when you blend it it obviously blends in.

switch the vodka for white rum
otherwise, its fucking shit

Coke
Bourbon
Couple twists of lime
Enjoy

Horsepussy!

Wrong Zimmerman. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zimmermann_Telegram

Cranberry juice and vodka in a hollowed out pineapple and drop a whole peeled nectarine in it.

>expecting Americucks to know history before 2000

just make an infused syrup and add it to a classic

Smokey whiskey mixed with some sort of slight caramel tasting liquid, maybe some sort of caramel liquor. It should have a similar color and texture to butter beer, but with a much thinner layer of foam/cream at the top, and served in a whiskey glass. Some sort of extra liquid should be added as well to make it less strong, to thin out the alcohol.

You people aren't really alcoholics. You drink standard crap.

If you're not crafting your own booze, you're a weekend waistoid.

Pureed banana
Coconut milk
Shake
Pour over Key Lime Liqueur
Call it cum drops

don't use acai in the name of the drink if it needs to be ordered by name, spooky pronounciations will scare people away from ordering it, or worst case you get every person butchering it and being like "hehe, however you say it, as long as it gets me tipsy xD" everytime they order one

I've been making a twist on the tom Collins I call the Pink Pussy's Pleasure

>High ball with ice
>Two measures gin
>Fill to 1/4 inch of rim with your favorite flavor of la Croix
>Splash of raspberry lemonade
>Two shakes of bitters
>Stir

>defending your home from a greasy looking spic who's been following you in his car and on foot for multiple blocks is unacceptable now

Wew
E
W

Bourbon, ginger liquer, orange bitters, twist of lemon in a old fashioned glass with a big icecube.

make a pisco sour with grappa, call it a piezo sour

you could show them the post you made on this board for those "extra-faggy" points.

I invented this one.

1 part white rum
1 part gold rum
1 part dark rum
3 parts ginger ale
2 parts grenedine
1 part blueberry juice
1 part sweetened lime juice

(Optional) float a half part of 151 on top.

I call it a Banjaxe and it's sweet, and strong. Feel free to steal it.

I mixed mango puree with iced tea and a shot of rum once, squeezed in a lime wedge and some salt on the rim. It came out ok, if you wanna steal that feel free

beautiful.

That's a terrible cocktail: little more than a man-child's drink trying to hide some alcohol to seem cool.

Follow the rule of 2-1-1, and you'll be set. Otherwise, stop trying and just drink Kool-Aid.

>9001 different ingredients but nothing special in the preparation
0/10 just drink something brightly colored out of a plastic bottle in the first place

Old fashioned with St Germain. Sprig of lavender.

meh its just a hurricane with a few different mixers

thanks man

Use an uncommon mixer.

1oz lime juice
1/2oz grapefruit
3/4oz pineapple infused simple syrup
2oz white rum

Build in a cocktail shaker, add ice, and shake. Strain in a tall glass filled with ice, top with soda water, then give a quick stir. Garnish with a few dashes of Angostura bitters on top of the drink and a lime wedge. If you wanna be even fancier, add a pineapple frond.

The measurements look arbitrary but it is for flavor balance.

Moxie sounds like an awesome choice user. Might have to try that with a shot of Fernet sometime.

this is the same as this and it's pretty much common in spain
but you are in the right way since the last year cocktail winner used this with watermelon juice and no alcohol whatsoever

If you come up with something good using this, call it the .406

Alcoholics are too busy wallowing in crippling depression and hoping for a blackout to actually brew their own booze friendo

Lol, that's not true at all!

Oregano extract in absinthe with wildflower honey and a twįst of lemon

>Extra faggy wins
Go to an aids clinic, get a semen donation from gay aids guy. Make semen rimmed martini. Serve in glass emblazoned with the face of John Oliver. Should be enough, but if you lose call the judges homophobic.

How about the abo fashioned, just make an old fashioned but replace the bourbon with petrol

woo i'm so fucking drunk right now but i still feel compelled to use autocorrect so i don't really read drunkish

Ayo

I made this one

It's called The Khazar Milker

-6 oz milk
-2 oz vodka
-5 Mega Stuff Oreos

You combine the oreos with an additional 2 oz of milk, mix with a mortar and pestle until it's a paste, the mega stuffing will help.

Now, combine the 2oz of vodka with the 6 oz of milk, and then add the oreo paste, stir very well, the paste should be dissolved with the insoluble remnants floating when it's ready.

Garnish with mint.

Whatever drink you create, make sure it has 14oz of simple syrup in it.

Sumac in a tea infuser added to Hope Vodka. Then add a drop of Caramel and stir.

real syrup is pretty great on anything. sucks everyone adds sugar to make it cheaper

rum, vinegar, water, salt, garnish of lettuce

I just did a tangerine, gin, a spash of rum and a dash of angostura cocktail so cold, it cracked the glass

Coconut white rum, pineapple juice and mint
I can just imagine the flavour thinking about it