Tfw want to buy Lolita from Amazon

>tfw want to buy Lolita from Amazon
>morning express isn't available so the book would get delivered when at least one of my parents is at home
>"What did you buy, user? ;)"
What the fuck should I do?

This is an insurmountable problem. Looks like you'll be reading Chicken Soup for the Pre-teen Soul for now.

maybe grow the fuck up or something i dunno

>What the fuck should I do?
Find a family that isn't filled with plebs? Or become independent and move out. I'm glad that I don't have to be autistic like this since my mother is familiar with the western canon.

"What did you buy, user"
"Lolita"
"Oh, that's a good book. I wish I still had all of my old books so that you don't have to keep buying them."

t. fat NEET

>A book by Vladimir Nabokov.

They won't care after that because they won't know of him.

I never understand these threads. Nobody cares if you read Lolita. Nobody will think you're a pervert. People who know about it know it's a great book, with weird themes, okay, but still a great book. You can read Sade in the Subway, nobody will care. Is that because americans are fucking stupid or something?

Sade and Nabokov are untalented and their books are shit, but that's another story.

>Sade and Nabokov are untalented
Wow that's a really horrible opinion you've got there, user. Even normies with terrible taste who hate Sade agree that Sade is eloquent and talented. Justine is a satirical masterpiece.

How do I order a dildo to my parent's house so that there's no chance they will intercept it first?

Go out to a bookstore and buy it there.

I'd probably drop my spaghetti while doing it...

dildos come in discreet packages, usually, and shipped under a "fake" name. My dildo came in brown box with a "computer parts" label. enjoy

What's wrong with Lolita that you have to explain to your parents why you want to read literary art?

Yes, I'm sure those people that stock the book and are well aware of what it is are going to judge you for reading a piece of classic literature. Jesus user. Nobody but you cares about what you're reading.

Just don't mention to the checkout person that you're going to jack off to it. They don't ask.

like a typical frogposter, he assumes all normies are drooling retards, and think lolita is cp

Get it with a group of other, less embarrassing books so they won't care as much. Go on amazon and buy like three other classic books with Lolita. They won't care about the synopsis of every single book, and if you ask them what you bought you can just say "a bunch of books" and show them. Unless this edition of Lolita has a big picture of a naked pre-pubescent girl on the cover, their gonna be interested in that book specifically

I really fucked up writing this, but I think you all get what I'm saying

>Is that because americans are fucking stupid or something?
it's because in America we have people that actually do care, a lot, and it can be hard to tell who cares about a given thing until it comes up

I read the first part for my dad.

>tfw you order computer parts and they come in a box discreetly labeled "dildos" so no one thinks you're a nerd

Buy the Library of America Nabokov

this, but it needs to be with 5 other books to draw less suspicion

I want to get the annotated version desu

I've been learning russian and I was saying phrases out loud to get used to the sounds then my mum called me out of my room the other day, sat me down and asked me if I had been radicalised. I tried telling her I just wanted to learn another language but she was having none of it, she just glared at me and did the sign of the cross.
You can't reason with some people

hahaha what the fuck?

I live in Germany and I would have to call them first since I don't think they have it in store. I mean, they probably really don't care but I can't help feeling self conscious.

ohhh that's awesome! thanks!

just one more question: where did you order yours from?

why does this post feel malicious?

>Lolita

... idk ? it's okay though. sorry if I upset u. thanks again

What kind of parents would think less of their child for reading Lolita, how uncultured can parents get?

Get it delivered to your uni or a friend's place and then pick it up later. Why such retardation, Jim?

de Sade is admittedly crap, but although I personally am not a fan of Nabokov I can understand why somebody would like his stuff.

Ordering dildos would actually probably be more normal these days. It's a sad time that we live in.


You could always just ask if they have any books by Vladimir Nabokov instead of specifying. They'll know what book you actually want, but it might help with your autism anxiety.

>Lolita
>Plasir D'amour
>La Confirmacion
>The New Epicurean and Adventures of a Schoolboy
>Secret Lolita: The Confessions of Victor X
My collection is starting to look suspicious.

Get your mum to buy it for you. Mine did.

I don't get why people feel awkward about this stuff. It's great to be able to watch a film in which a prostitute is drowned in a pool of her own turds with your loving Mumsy.

>"A book where a middle-aged man falls in love with a little girl"
Exactly what i said when family asked me what i'm reading, no one cared. Get a better family or fucking kill yourself, i dunno

>not autistically explaining every book you read to your parents in great detail
>not reading the rapey passages of Lolita out loud while they try and watch the ball game on TV
you're not spednign your teen years right

People buy this book for Uni daily. No one in a book store will give a shit like they don't give a shit about selling shit-tier erotica.

In what shit country do you live that your delivery doesnt get packaged

Of course it gets packaged. But my parents would still ask since I never order anything. I could lie about it but that would be even more pathetic I think, I dunno

Man
Go too a book store get a different book and when they ask show them that book instead of lolita


Ps: tell your parents to fuck off

>this is a 10 in America

get a fucking ebook or grow a fucking spine you fucking faggot holy shit it's a classic novel

Say "I bought Lolita by Viktor Nabokov" and move on with your life.

>Viktor Nabokov

>this thread
>eternal recurrence

Vladimir Viktor whatever at least I remembered his last name fuck yourself

it's a widely read book; it'll be at every major book shop, and 90% of secondhand/charity places.

That's like saying Arnold Hemmmingway.

Who the hell jacks off to Lo-Lee-Ta

You sneer, but i know for a fact every last one of you would fuck her.

Veeky Forumszens like to use their copies of Lolita and Ulysses to form sexual poses the way kids do with barbi/g.i. joe dolls

My parents would have given me my package without opening it or questioning its content.
If they do you're in your right to be offended.

never heard of those last two

It's even more complex. Don't do it

requesting someone to post an example of this

If you're this worried, you're not ready to read Lolita yet. Lolita requires a serious reader who can comprehend the subtext, not the context.

Not the example I was looking for, but the only one I could easily find in my folder. IIRC there should also be one of the Ayn Rand's Anthem being fucked by Infinite Jest floating around somewhere, if not, someone should get on it

...

That stings, though maybe you're right.

Sorry.... I've been studying, researching, and exploring Lolita for almost 4 years now......

i read the entire page thinking that was his thumb on the page. i havent been shocked by a penis in a long time, good job.

Like....extensively desu

That's actually impressive. I'm glad you got so much out of the novel.

It never ends!! Nabokov is a genius; every word was written deliberately.

Timmy Punchin

ah well, i live in germany so it won't do you much good probably. Just find a website and check out their shipping info. they usually have it written down somewhere

deliver it to an amazon drop off locker

sage

Jimmy Joyce

How do I do this?

GRR Rowling

>mom discovers the Peter Sotos collection

Jay RR Tolkeen

>tfw my mum just bought me Proxy by Peter Sotos

it's pretty great, i've read PDFs of Pure which is pure garbage, but Proxy is great. Tool in particular is excellent.

>mfw my parents are super supportive and I never have to hide anything from them, especially not what books I read

>mfw they're crazy, and I'm crazy, so we still manage to be fucked up

what on earth is tiger tail ice cream

well yeah
i would probably bury my face between her tits until i died of asphyxiation

google says it's orange and licorice and only found in canada

>dad found the ComicLO stash

>But although

For the love of fuck, have it shipped to the post office then go to pick it up there. It's ordering a book online. It's not hard to do.

Okay, I'll do that. But how do they know that it's my package? Like, is my name on there? And what happens to the receipt and stuff?

holy fuck! how old are you?

18...I've never ordered anything online before.

Just buy it together with some other innocuous classics.

>18
you're a liar

I'm not. I'm barely 18 but still 18

Are you amish then? Why have you never ordered anything online? Why don't you know how the fucking postage system works?

Because I've just never done so before. I mean, I bought stuff online but only on Steam

I am baffled

Milennials.

Sounds like she is the radical. Whether you like or hate Trump, I hope we can all come to agreement that the corporate media is fucking evil.

This thing is fucking gross please delete it

Just do be a total fucking fag about it.
Its a piece of literature, not some futanari porn featuring 2000 year old vampire lolis.

Listen to the above OP, but for the love of god get a copy with an inconspicuous cover like pic.

>user why do you have a book with little girls panties on the cover?

what's the correct translation for Lolita?

Nabokov wrote Lolita both in English and Russian so any english copy will have the same text