Al/ck/oholics Anonymous

Your most recent happy memory edition

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Got off the bus, about to cross the street, looked both ways, old lady starts to cross, pull her out of the way of a speeding car. Saved a life on the way to the liquor store. She was going there, too.

5 minutes ago, I'm at step 5 nigga

Nice. I'll bet saving someone's life is a good feeling. Did she buy your booze when you got to the liquor store?

She didn't, but I didn't expect her too. She just said stuff about why she doesn't drive anymore. I didn't even think about it at the time, but it did feel good when I got home and realized what had happened. If I wasn't a drunk, I wouldn't have been taking the bus to buy cheap ass vodka. Irony in action.

combination of xanax, valium, carisoprodol, and benadryl is kicking in
bed time soon

I like a benadryl after a night of drinking. But man, that shit lasts all the next day.

Don't remember, bro. I just woke up. I pissed myself again and I'm on the floor of my apartment I think. I actually don't want to get up because I feel like the world isn't spinning while I'm down here. I feel like if I stay down here with piss soaked pants time stands still.

But that's not true.

I drank half a fifth of Smirnoff at a Halloween party

It was smooth (smoother than most (all?) other Vodkas I've had, which surprised me)

Anyway, we were smoking cigars on the porch and I was drunk enough to agree to do a "put em in a coffin" thing while making fun of a retard we all knew. I did it in on a shrub and completely flattened it and someone filmed it.

Later we got in an uber to my friends house and we were yelling at thots dressed like utter sluts on the sidewalk from the window of the car. Like literally yelling "SLUT" and the thot turned around and flipped us off. The uber guy was Muslim though so he enjoyed it.

Then I agreed to smoke weed (which I swore off for years) and walked home drunk at 3am. On the way home I went into a McDonalds bathroom and pissed on the toilet paper roll next to the toilet and got a 2 McChickens and an ice cream cone to go.

I take it every night, I don't know what normal is anymore

I did a fuckload of dillies yesterday, woke up at 10 and drank a pint of vodka now im shitposting and eating pizza. Other than my whole body hurting when I move im pretty comfy

Sounds like a successful night.

absolute madman

I love dillies. Wish I could get my hands on some.

dillies? are you referring to that commercial? because if you are, Budweiser has terrible water that taints all of their beer. I'm legitimately surprised that their brand is the number one in America.

I thought he was talking about dilaudid morphine

Oh, that's good too. I prefer my perkies.

About to take my first end of day sleep sober in well over a year.

This doesn't feel right.

have fun waking up every few hours. put a cover over your eyes (I use a blanket) so the night hag don't getcha!

goodnight al/ck/s

I'm looking to get into alcoholism, where do I start?

i ended up not going and sleeping in at 3pm instead because i could only think of bad things that could happen if i went and not any good ones

i really wish i had some beer, i feel agitated

speaking of this, i had a terrible sleep today. why is sleeping so difficult?

>The uber guy was Muslim though so he enjoyed it
kek

About 5 minutes ago. Watched this high (youtube.com/watch?v=dZLLPaX4SS4), had a hugely satisfying fap, am now in bed eating breakfast tendies, watching YouTube and smoking huge amounts more weed. It’s like a vacation from the hell of alcoholism. I never want to go back to drinking

many paths to choose from but they all end in hell

me neither, user. me neither.

them ass holes on x changed the sticky pic and it fugged me up i need a little sippy poo

just drink because you want to you fucking spineless cunt

why make up pathetic excuses

/x/ posters are human garbage. kys

Would the sole, ranting kid ITT please report to immediately. Thanks

Get Out is on. I'm drunk. Should I watch?

I would like to get into alcohol. I have always been the good boy and never had a beer in my life but it's been one year since I turned 21 and I feel like trying it. What type and brand of beer should I try first? There's not plenty of variety here, the only thing on the shelves that catches my eye is Heineken.

>What type and brand of beer should I try first?
Not a craft beer. Beer is simply too diverse and varied to get a good picture of what beer is actually like. Craft beers intentionally try to be their own thing to secure their place on the market by just being actually unique.

That said, Heineken is actually pretty bad for its price point. I recommend Coors Light to see if you can stomach beer at all, and if you find it too light you should try Black Label if they have it in your area. Molson products tend to be good and cheap but idk if they exist in your area.

wanna smash that dude on the right btw is that nip moot next to trap moot??

How much does it take the average normie to get drunk?

i usually hear that 2 drinks is too much to drive safely anymore but thats only tipsy. 3-5 is more of a party for a normal adult, more than 5 for a late high school or college age real good party

I'm happy now. It's why I drink.

>3-5 is more of a party for a normal adult, more than 5 for a late high school or college age real good party
Either this is extremely conservative or I've completely lost sight of what a normal tolerance is meant to feel like.

3 standards for men and 2 standards for women in one hour is the guideline for being too drunk to drive, but how much alcohol is in your blood doesn't necessarily correlate with how drunk you actually feel obviously, that's a personal thing.

>more than 5
my sides and liver are bulging.
Not to play the one up game, but thats fucking to adorable you're even trying to claim that as a "real good high school/college" party.

>Either this is extremely conservative
to be fair, im going by workplace health and safety posters/lectures, which tend to be real conservative.

personally, I think my tolerance is pretty normal and I'm just good at maintining composure, but definitely feel drunk, forget things, etc. after about 3 drinks, and usually have to stop at 8. I can go as hard as 10 if I'm having fun or it's a longer night. having a proper meal at some point helps too.

depends how long the party is, really, I generally consider a night out to be 3-ish hours. Just the size of a stomach would probably limit you pretty harshly after a certain point. I know I've gotten sick just on over-drinking but without feeling drunk.

If you're sitting at the bar literally all day, yeah, of course you're going to knock back like 20-30 drinks.

Thanks. What makes Heineken bad? At least judging by looks and ads it's the one that appealed most to me. And what differences are there between German and American beer?
That guy on the right is Zun, the creator of Touhou. He is a beer addict.

>Not to play the one up game, but thats fucking to adorable you're even trying to claim that as a "real good high school/college" party.
i like how "more than five" to you, a range that literally extends to infinity, is a small number. whatever. thats america for you

>And what differences are there between German and American beer?
few that matter because heine is very americanized

You're right about that guy being obnoxious but I'd say going through a six pack while watching a game of football wouldn't be far from standard.
Either way we could argue about 'how much is a lot' for years and get nowhere, some girls have three beers and are done for the night and some guys are pretty underweight too.

If you're looking to find a beer to stick with just try a few here and there and find one with a good ratio of strength and affordability that you don't mind. Obviously beers do taste different but once you're drunk you aren't going to give much of a shit. Unless you're the type to drink a couple beers for the flavour and then stop completely, in which case I'd tell you it's probably not really worth starting to drink in the first place.
Personally I drink Asahi, standard strength, easy to drink, pretty standard beer price in my area.

>watching a game of football
a game of football is like ten years long.

still, like I said, I'm going off of health and safety posters and doctors' lectures. you asked what normies drink -- not what battle hardened ex-line cooks on Veeky Forums drink. You asked a question, you got a fucking answer; you can fuck off if you don't like what you got returned.

I don't drink during the day or before classes but once night hits I love drinking and I hate falling asleep sober. Sometimes I'll take 3 or 4 shots before falling asleep for absolutely no reason. I know it'll just make me sleep worse or upset my stomach.

Is this Alcoholism setting in or am I just a mongoloid?

Why not both?

:(

Since I'm 3 hours away from one week sober I'm calling it a week sober.

I've started dreaming again. Really weird dreams too.

You sould drirnk

Nice one m8. I’m getting sober as well so I’m thinking off putting the saved money in a little pipe and some weed again and just living the comfy homebody life with bowls, cups of tea and wholesome entertainment.

I wasn't the one who asked the question you dumbass drunkard, and stop getting defensive, there was nothing aggressive in my post.

Stay out of these threads if you're trying to stop drinking, it's just going to get you thinking about it. Even if it's portrayed in a negative light it's still not what you want to think about.

Nope. They all close in forty minutes and amazing after only a week I don't have the cravings for booze. I can't stop drinking coffee and green tea though.

I'll be fine. I'm surprisingly not craving it. Strange because until a few days ago longest I'd gone without booze in around 3-4 years was 4 days.

Not him but these threads help me stay sober.

Pissed himself in the floor user example, helps remind me why I don’t want to go out for a fifth of vodka.

>finally beginning to push through the sickness that stops me drinking 24/7
it's not easy to down a drink when I feel like absolute shit but I'm starting to manage, worth it to be drunk all day everyday

anyone struggle with pushing through that wall? how did you overcome it if you did

>how did you overcome it if you did

By drinking more. Though the only thing that really ever got in the way was heartburn but I still managed to push through that although sometimes it got so bad I just had to stop.

sleep and soup

why would you drink if you're sick? have a fucking nap

Half bottle Jack's 375ml doesn't do it anymore. What do now?

I drink if I’m sick. I got through heroin cold turkey like 50 times by just getting blackout drunk day and night for a week. That’s why I hate alcohol WD so much, it’s the only thing i can’t make better with booze.

Start a career as a prawn fisherman in Cambodia

I've never experienced heartburn but I've heard from a lot of you that it's a big issue, I think that may be something caused in part with pre-existing issues like weight and diet. The thing that stops me from drinking more often is lack of energy or feeling horribly sick to the point of not being able to stomach alcohol

>why would you drink if you're sick?
because I don't want to be sober?

why the fuck are you asking why someone would drink when they're sick in a thread about alcoholism I mean come on...really?

>hey guys im not enjoying drinking. what booze should i drink?

only an american would think this is a reasonable question

wasn't at all my question and I'm not American

nice try though

What? That's alcoholism. Only Americans do that then?

>alcoholism means you don't enjoy drinking

>>And what differences are there between German and American beer?
>few that matter because heine is very americanized
Heineken is Dutch.
There's nothing really wrong with Heineken, you just have to find a beer you like. And the difference between German and American beer is that mainstream American beer sucks, but America has a much wider variety of types of craft beers or micro-breweries, which Germany doesn't have, because it's restricted to 4 ingredients by law (Reinheitsgebot).

sick of hangovers
sick of Mondays

>sick of hangovers
drink more water

I drink 2L+ every night before bed depending on how much I've drunk, also drinking water while drinking

hangovers are hardly a problem for me anymore

though that could be because I'm used to them now

>Heineken is Dutch.
and yet it tastes identical to everything produced by Molson and Carling

you all ever get so angry and tard rage against the jews so much that you realize that capitalism is a decaying monument to judaism and the libcunt arguments have some merit in their anti-zionism and anti capitalism and that modern american cuckserativism is propping up a dead kike on a stick at the expense of white folks

no but i do something similar with americans. americans are genuine filth and i wish for nothing but the worst for them all. i'm pretty sure that most if not all of my sources of unhappiness are either from americans or american influence over non-americans. if there were no more americans or america, i think the world would be a happier and more functional place.

can you go back where you came from? This really has nothing to do with alcoholism.

SHILLS ON HIGH ALERT OY VEY

Well boys, I'm on trazodone now for insomnia and the doc says it will kill me if I drink and take that, so guess I'm going sober for now. Enjoy one on the rocks for me.

Fucking lol

>wake up before anyone else
>nothing to do
>like five episodes of vice principals to catch up on
Time to get drunk enough to eat leftover checkers at ten am wooooo

I've been sober for three years, but being around you all for the past few days makes me want to day drink today

I was supposed to help my dad with some yardwork, but instead I spent the entire weekend drunk and never made it over to his house, so he did the work without me. My plan for today is to drink a lot of beer and watch some football this afternoon, but soon I want to make it up to my dad. Any suggestions on how I should do this? He is very disappointed with me right ow.

I've drank on 150 mg of traz, then again I hate my life and dont care. I find drinking on naltrexone to be shit

What're your house rules for drinking, boys? I never drink before noon, no matter what. Lets me feel like I have some control.

Drink at least a little before sleep

No hard liquor.

trazodone is poison. Made me freak the fuck out. It's not a very good drug.

How about you from spend the day with your dad instead of watching niggers and commercials all day

>Your most recent happy memory edition
Last night was pretty nice when the bottle was almost empty and I knew I had some more beers to solidify the drunk until bedtime. Also, I got invited to do a speech and some workshops at a local university last week, which felt pretty good, if a bit stressful.

I drink a bottle of wine pretty much every night with a few strong beers either before or after. Not sure if I should start tapering off and be sober for a few weeks to "reset".

no drinking before midnight. the drink for 3-4 hours and go to bed.

I quit nicotine and I have no motivation to do anything

it’s what it does to my mood
I don’t have physical symptoms

I have none other than "don't get too hammered around family" (excluding my brother who used to be my roommate).
Vodka in the morning, vodka in the evening.
If I had a job I probably wouldn't drink heavily beforehand, alas I have enough money to get me by for a while. I haven't worked since I became al/ck/ three years ago.

I’ve been drinking more since I quit smoking

drinking piss warm beer all morning and not even drunk yet, fuck.

Honestly don’t feel like I drink more than most people because I’m sadder than most people but just because I enjoy being drunk more than most people honestly

Nah, he has other plans. And my dad is an aggressive man with a vicious temper and I think it would be wise to keep my distance until next weekend.

please send help. I just want to get drunk!

Drink as quickly as possible, forgive yourself in advance for the heartburn, and next time don’t buy a poof’s drink

I'm about halfway through my beers for the day and I don't really want to buy more. Will popping a few ativan help me keep feeling good for the rest of the day? I have a prescription but normally only take them when I am having anxiety attacks.

Have you ever been to a marriage, al/ck/ ? How did you survive it ?
>Be me, 23 yo
>Gave up on getting pussy, exercising, having friends and socializing in general
>Focuse only on studies and cutting my drinking until I get my shit together
>Parents still tolerates my presence more or less
>Be with them and, cousin and uncle at restaurant yesterday
>Quietly drinking my pint when successful 24 yo cousin says he as an annoucement to make
>He's getting married to his Arab gf next year
>Nearly choke on my beer
>Ask him if I'll be invited for the divorce too
>everybody laughing because they took it as a joke
>It wasn't
>nervouslaugh.gif
>Cousin tells me not to worry, there'll be alcohol
>The future bride's family will be there, half of them are jewish, half of them muslim
>Most of my humor revolves around /pol/ jokes when I'm drunk
>wellfugg dot jaypeg
What the fuck do I do, al/ck/ ? Should I invent an excuse not to go to his marriage and avoid a potential disaster, or should I go, get drunk quietly and shut the fuck up for the whole night to avoid being disowned by my whole family ?

Get drunk quietly and shut the fuck up for the whole night obvi

Keep quiet at the begininng, don't over do it (I know all much easier said than done), when people are drunk you might find people who enjoy your "edgy" humour, you might want to stay away from larger groups of people (you might blurp something out that triggers Oma Goldstein). Best thing to do is find someone sympathetic and hang out with them, while staying away from the larger groups.