QUICK LIT
I'm going on a kindle date and I've stupidly told the girl that I'd read "War and Peace" by Tolstoy. She was quite impressed by it and I'm sure she will ask me something about it. The closest I've been to Napoleon was playing the homonym Total War game.
Give me some talking points.
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What's a kindle date?
You set the girl on fire if she doesn't give you the succ
It's an ancient tradition in the middle east
It's unironically about world war and world peace. If you watch the news you'll know.
KINDLE = TINDER
what the fuck I'm really nervous
You'll both sit there and read your E-Books? Sounds like my kind of date to be horny senpai
just complain about how long it was and all the russian names and move on to the next topic by asking what she reads, she wont bring it up again
Sparknotes it, you dumb motherfucker. This is what you get for being totally Veeky Forums-core.
Its okay to lie about having read a book on here, but you can't get away with it in real life.
I am sick and tired of this. Every day I come to Veeky Forums, and every day there is at least one thread up with an OP image of an attractive woman dressed scantily and posing seductively. It's probably the same one or two people who do it honestly. Let me tell you something, you faggot pieces of shit who are doing this: you are the poster child for everything that is wrong in literature, art, and society as a whole today. You are incapable of coming up with anything creative, thought provoking, or of substance, and you lack even the smallest modicum of intelligence, so you use "style" and "flash" and pizazz in place of it and to draw attention to yourself, because that's the only way your SHIT "creation" and ideas would ever get seen by anyone. And before you say anything, this has NOTHING to do with the fact that I don't have a girlfriend. Anyway, I will be petitioning the owner of this website to ban your asses, so enjoy being able to post here while it lasts, because it's not going to last long, just like you that one time you convinced an obese girl to let you fuck her.
*upvoted*
*saved*
nice pasta
You think you're so great, you pseudointellectual poser?
I'm 19 years old.
I am handsome, smart, athletic and virile.
I have a novel that is in it's final editing stage, and a creative writing professor at my college has read the first draft and thinks it's saleable.
I have a girlfriend who is confident, articulate, playful and spontaneous.
I have a small group of interesting friends from different social and academic backgrounds, and I also have many other acquaintances who see me as a reliable source of humour and good company.
Both my parents are alive and in good health.
I have no regrets.
I have already experienced three existential crises, the latter of which was described as having the depth and profundity of a man twice my age.
I am a passionate lover, a sharp thinker, and a trader of witty repartee.
I am not self-pitying, meek or needlessly humble.
I will live a good life at your expense.
sharp thinker xD
youtube.com
lol what
>tfw your face will never be that saddle
When she alludes to Princess Marya's salvationary 'abduction' by Nikolai from her own ancestral home, the 'is this really happening? I can't believe this happening!' episiode, just shake your head kind of slowly and mutter something like 'crazy. I know, I know....'
If she thinks Dolokhov's an asshole, agree with her. If she makes to defend him, agree with her as well 'although he is kind of a prick.' If she loves Pierre, inform her that most everyone loves Pierre but that you prefer Prince Andrei. If she wants to know your favorite female character say Natasha if she's an extrovert, Princess Marya if she's bookish and kind of shy. That's pretty much it. Oh. The major battle scene is the famous one at Borodino. Don't forget the Russians do abandone and burn Moscow. And shed a tear for young Petya.
Say you had a brainfart and meant to say Crime and Punishment by Dosto.
>she will ask me something about it
Whatever she asks, it will not be about the book.
She asks questions to get to know you better.
She asks questions to figure out what you think about her.
So any answer you give her should include information about yourself (i.e. how much you earn and your future prospects) and your feelings towards her. If you do that, you can pretty much say anything.
>So what did you think about the book?
>The loved the part were they entered the rocket and went to the moon. As they cleared the clouds and looked upon the stars, it filled me with the same euphoric feeling I get from looking into your eyes. Such an endless amount of wisdom hidden there. All those years I studied to graduate top of my class as engineer, pale in comparison.
>homonym
heh
Read a bunch of goodreads reviews
this guy knows how it's done
wisdom
except it doesn't feel that long and the surplus of characters is a meme.
opie, talk about princess marya's relationship with her father, prince nikolai. nikolai is an old man prone to outbursts and he keeps his daughter on a short leash, but you can tell that he loves her. marya similarly loves to be disciplined (even physically) by him, yet she convinces herself that its because she's a good christian women who is suffering like christ (her wet dream).
nikolai's older son (marya's brother) is one of the main characters—prince andrei. remember: russian princes and princesses are not like europeans, directly in line for the throne. princes are high noblemen. you don't need to talk about the battles because she didn't read it, but andrei dies in the end.
if you talk about how you think nikolai is complex but you can kind of understand him, you'll be in a good place with her (assuming she's even read it). use the irrational discipline and tension between father and daughter as a springboard to progressively lewder conversation
>t. a reformed pussyhound
That's the quickest way to enter friendzone city.
op being a faggot, it's the best he can aim for desu
if she asks ANY ANY question about it, just say exactly what you said
>The closest I've been to Napoleon was playing the homonym Total War game.
then start talking about the game
>then start talking about the game
I actually talk about video-games as a way to reject women I'm not interested in. It never fails. I'm too nice to just tell them they're ugly.
Show some enthusiasm about some odd game and brag about how good you are. Tell them you're nowhere near the top since all the people ahead of you have faster computers, less lag, cheat, team up with friends or play way too much etc etc. Insist you still aweseome and you dream of becoming a professional gamer.
My friend, just say you really liked Pierre, his evolution and how Tolstoy doesn't tell us much about him to qualify him as a "hero" or the protagonist, but actually the opposite, and then how he suddenly decides to make him more relateable when he tells us about his love life, and his errors and how his inherited money actually lead him to a mess, how his psychological change made him feel like shoudl assassinate napoleon and how you think it's all nice, but other than that you don't actually like the novel.
Then proceed on talking about crime and punishment or even about stuff by Kafka.
I'm Russian so ask me anything and i'll reply, but the way if you recite a Pushkin poem to her she'll suck your dick right there ( i already kissed more than 100+ girls by reciting them a love poem by Pushkin )
how interesting
Also also if she likes war and peace i'm guessing she's into "historical novels" in that case direct her towards more interesting novels such as "Father Goriot" "La Princesse de Clèves" and such
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'VE READ CRIME & PUNISHMENT THOUGH?
op pic kinda has a william eggleston vibe
She hasn't read that, and she won't ask you questions.
Reading Tolstoy is enough to get you a date nowadays?
Girls hear War and Peace and instantly think intellectual. It's just one of those books that is well known in popular culture.
just read the book bro
problem solved
READ IT THEN YOU FUCKING RETARD.
If you're going to put as much devotion as possible to get the succ, might as well go all out. Read 100 pages every day, and if you don't finish it then say you made a mistake and say you are "reading" the novel. It'll change your life. The novel, I mean, trust me.
LITERALLY EVERYONE HAS READ THIS BOOK.
>I have already experienced three cocks ramming my boipoucci, the latter of which was described as having the depth and profundity of a man twice my age.
fixed that for ya