BlueFinTuna

"Bluefin, when fighting fishermen, can have such high bursts of muscle activity that they cook their own flesh."

And here I am, an omnivore, yes, but with a deeply ingrained, perhaps self-delusional belief that no animal should suffer for me to eat.

But reading the above, all I can think of is this hardcore, majestic beast fighting against captivity, while I stand in the shadows, gleefully swinging chunks of garlic butter and parsley-infused lemon against its tormented, shuddering flesh.

Utterly disgraceful.

Where do I subscribe for more posts?

>But reading the above, all I can think of...

I can help you with that. Your bullshit detector is broken and you actually believed what you quoted above.

And who the fuck serves garlic butter or lemon with tuna anyway?

>not revelling in the fact that we humans can not only catch such beasts but cook them into delicious dishes

Fug you

found the party animal

I don't understand, if any animal could kill and eat you it would, i only cook and eat animals I beat and bring to submission using my bare hands while naked on their own territory.

You sound like someone who could sear their own flesh just by the scorching force of insane badassery-generated heat. Respect.

>throws blocks of butter at user

thanks for "reposting" shit that you found on leddit til. gtfo

>emoting actions
Get out.

>a restaurant where they agitates a tuna until it cooks itself in front of the customers
that's one idea for a food joint.

Don't let tuna-kun's hard effort go to waste, user

How do you know he found it on reddit? You are both tourists and you should both leave

*notices ur bulge*
oWo what's this? ;3

I once caught a tuna that struggled so hard the sea started to boil and then it all vaporized and I found myself on the ocean floor with a bunch of sea salt and a dead fully cooked tuna.

I climbed out of there and left the dead tuna because cooked tuna is gross.

>they cook their own flesh

Sounds to me like they're just begging to be eaten.
What other animal literally cooks itself for you, other than Japanese transgendered chefs and Danish TV hosts?

Tuna is for plebs. Eat a real fish.

Oh to be a majestic grizzly bear, ripping out steaming gobbets of flesh from the bearded hiker I caught by a stream, caring not a whit for the torment I caused to have my meal. My only regret is that he tastes of marijuana and dirty gym shorts.

Oh wait, I'm a human. I should starve in anguish lest I eat something that casts a shadow.

.001 fucks given (and only because too much stress messes up the quality of the meat).

*snuffel wuffles u*
woah jeez anonymous thats a biigg penngis! :3333333

>other than Japanese transgendered chefs and Danish TV hosts?
wat

That's a big fucking fish, how does someone even reel in something like that without hulk-tier strength?

Lmfao

My mistake.

The Japanese chef was asexual, not transgender.
He had his own cock and balls removed and served them up for $250 a plate. Google Mao Sugiyama.

And the TV hosts were Dutch.
Dennis Storm and Valerio Zeno had bits of their own asses cut out and cooked, and then ate them on national TV as a Jackass type stunt when they found out there was technically no law against cannibalism.

that's some anime tier shit there that's LIT

>swinging chunks of garlic butter and parsley-infused lemon against its tormented, shuddering flesh
mmmmm, you made my mouth water OP. brb, gonna go buy some cuts of fish from the store rn.

ifjim morrison weresome sort of faggot, but also caught a tuna

When they try so damn hard to be edgy and still they fail. Like a pupper trying for the first time to walk on wobbly legs but ending up face-first in its own pile of steaming shit. Adorable. Sad but adorable.

>Dennis Storm and Valerio Zeno had bits of their own asses cut out and cooked, and then ate them on national TV as a Jackass type stunt when they found out there was technically no law against cannibalism


Well, colour me intrigued...

Heavy test line and you let the fish wear itself out.

"Fish", he said softly, aloud, "I'll stay with you until I am dead"

It's a good thing we don't have to kill the stars, it's enough to kill our brothers