Just ordered this. What to expect?

not him, but stuff gets stuck to my stainless steel knife, so yes, I'd say the chances of it turning into bullshit are about 100%

the one I've used is pretty decent and came with a cup to measure the amount of water which controls how long it cooks the eggs (it stops when all the water has evaporated).
Not that bad desu.

It's not terrible, but a mandolin can do the same thing and more.

now how the fuck does he play the bottom neck. hell i bet the second to bottom is even worse to play.

>What to expect?
the quickest, easiest circumcision ever

most likely uses his penis to hit those bottom two

>mandolin
retard detected.

That's not cheese you fat fuck.

Tell me more, user.
How does a mandolin help with basic food prep?
Can you explain a few basic chords?

>mandolin

first day on Veeky Forums?

Lots of little bits stuck in the crevices.

IS THAT A FUCKING GURREN LAGANN REFERENCE?

It saddens me that people actually buy these. I guess some poor bastards fear knives almost as much as their fear firearms.

I think it's actually spelled like that in some languages, though.
It's "mandolinjern" in Danish. Literally "mandolin iron"
But I guess if you have nothing else going on in your life you need to hold on to even a tiny victory like knowing how to spell the name of a kitchen tool.

GEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGAAAAAAAA ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDOOOOORUUUUUUUUUU BBUUUUUUUUUREEEEEEEEEEEKKKUUUUUUUUUUUUU

its just for choppin chives tho famm

Does it work?

I don't think he was saying that stainless steel prevents sticking, I think he was saying that it would remain sanitary even if it's hard to clean.

nothing but regret when you first time have to clean that thing

I'm pretty sure both the instrument and the cutting tool have exactly the same name. The cutting tool is named after the instrument because the row of cutting wires resembles the strings on an instrument.

Holy shit my grandmother has one of these and I figured it was for knitting or crafts or something, never cooking.

Is it the Henrietta? It's breddy gud.

you do know that this is bill bailey, a comedian foremost and a pretty decent musician to top it off?
youtube.com/watch?v=9hd_OuKosxg

My dad has one that he uses to cut up financial documents in lieu of a shredder. I'm pretty sure he got it at Staples or something so it probably wasn't intended for food.

I've also seen meme barbers use something like that to "texture" hair.

those are called blending or thinning scissors, and they are really, really different. I'm a guy, I'm not gay, I don't work as a hairdresser, and yet I still somehow know this.

oh, and for that "meme" part, you clearly never had long hair. or to be precise, long, groomed hair.

>meme barbers
I hate this fucking website.

No that's not what I mean. I'm talking about this shit.

I don't think there is any legitimate reason to cut hair like pic related.

sorry, I can't see... what is he doing? it looks like he's using half a dozen of scissors at the same time... ok, I take it back, this definetely is a meme barber. the fuck is wrong with him.

>I don't think there is any legitimate reason to cut hair like pic related

What a revelation! I'm sure most people would think there's no legitimate reason to do any professional activity they knew nothing about.

>it looks like he's using half a dozen of scissors at the same time
Exactly, if not more.
>the fuck is wrong with him.
It looks like it got him on TV or something, so I guess he did it for publicity.

Nice try dude but the guy already took it back. It's a meme barber. Literally a meme barber in the sense that he was a viral video in Pakistan or something.

>It looks like it got him on TV or something
>Pakistan
fucking pakis. almost as bad as those kardashifucks.

I once had some type of squash that had been spiralized or cut in a slinky fashion at a meat market/ramen joint and it made a huge difference in the presentation of the dish, a sweet and sour ramen. I was definitely excited and genuinely puzzled how it got into that shape in my bowl. I recommend.

Is this from a H. Jon Benjamin comedy sketch?

Summer squash zoodles are worlds better than zucchini noodles. Cucumber noodles make a pretty GOAT Mediterranean salad. Bet carrot noodles would make a nice carrot salad probably.

that's not a yank, that is

>Just ordered this. What to expect?
'bout 5 scissors

Those are really nice. It reduces the need to make a single cut; up to 5 times reduction.

I have a smaller device that does this. It works well, but I have no real use for that sort of thing.

I keep a stock pot of water on low boil all winter long to replenish moisture lost in the air. I use it for boiling eggs.

Drop the "e" on the end for the musical instrument. Mandoline/Mandolin. The cutting instrument is actually named after the musical instrument because of how you use both of them.

>Drop the "e" on the end for the musical instrument. Mandoline/Mandolin
Oh, would you look at that. I never noticed that they were different, but it makes sense that the utensil is still named after the instrument.

That bottle holder thing looks like it would be quite useful for pouring wine without shocking it.

>pouring wine without shocking it
do you have parkinsons?

I have read that most of the ridiculous single-purpose infomercial products you see like that actually were invented by or for people with disabilities like parkinsons, but that they are too expensive to manufacture unless they can market them to a mass audience.

That's why it always looks so ridiculous in the commercial when you see the idiot stooge pouring hot water all over herself or something and saying "there must be a better way!" If you imagine it as a person with one arm, or with tremors or something, suddenly it makes sense. They just don't show it that way because they want to sell more product to the larger non-disabled audience.

so you're saying they target the mentally disabled too?

that makes sense, theyre usually total spazzes

Used one. Water went everyfuckingwhere

...

>Popcorncouchsit.gif

I make zoodles at my job. Spiralizer come in many shapes and sizes allthough that one looks pretty dumb. I can spiralize 30 zuchini in 10 minutes with ours and it's not really built functionally different from the one you posted.

To feel, look and behave like a big ol' fagoo

I love my spirlizer.. But it has very limited uses. If you are low carb, it allows you to make some dishes that at least emulate pasta. Won't taste like it of course, but it's a lot more pleasant to eat than just roasted fleshy vegetables over and over.

That pretty shit efficiency tbbh

this will make urhair grow like shit lol

...

>What to expect?
Everybody who sees that thing in your kitchen will think you an idiot. If you are so pathetically afraid of knives just get a pair of ordinary scissors and make five cuts instead of one. YOu will make up the lost time by having to spend less of it on cleaning your faggot one-trick tool.

Parkinson's and arthritis are the main ones I think. How many infomercials have you see where an old person hurts there hands on normal stuff? That's representing arthritis. For other stuff, it is for repeated movements or for a specific consistency of food. Like a garlic press and potato ricer both "extrude" the food through tiny holes. This changes the physical make up of the food in a way that merely mashing or blending can do. For garlic, it is also for speeding up the processing of lots of garlic and getting max flavor out of it. For the potato ricer it is all about the texture, like for making gnocchi.

If you are plating and need the presentation to be perfect, you will want the chives to all have perfect length in respect to each other. Doing that with those scissors speeds up that process a great deal.

>I'm a guy, I'm not gay ... and yet I still somehow know this.
I have got some bad news for you user, regarding your second statement

Uh-oh, now you are gay too since you read that and know the fact!

>What to expect
Another useless utensil to clutter up your kitchen drawers.

Never once have I considered chopping green onions time consuming. There's a lot of bullshit that takes way to long in cooking, but not chopping green onions.

>ordering chives

???

I don't really get the appeal of these. They look like they would be way more of a pain in the ass to clean the little plastic parts than a regular pot or pan. Plus how much "easier" does boiling an egg need to be? It's like the easiest fucking cooking task behind toasting a slice of bread.

these are quiet common in germany
makes the have an old Krups one made in germany

has 3 modes
soft boiling
Hard boiling
keeping warm

you use a litle plastic mesuring cup to select the amount of water for the boiling mode and the amount of eggs

and its your fault too, goddamn cockholster

This fucking thing. It's £10 and I have no idea what it's supposed to be for. It's called a unitool.

It looks like a spatula had sex with a drainage spoon and had a bastard with a sawing edge?

...

It kind of cuts and holds like, 8 peas.

the only use for this i could image would be for testing pasta.

>joseph joseph

I didn't post it and I use a homophobia filter to prevent any potentially gay information from rendering in my browser, so I don't even know what it was. I can tell from the way you write now that it made you gay though.

Maybe there's a single-purpose kitchen gadget that can fill the void of your lost manhood.

I could use that to make a whole pasta dish, probably. The spatula part looks robust enough for grinding up and browning ground beef or sausage in a pan, then I would stir in tomato sauce, wine, etc. with the spoon part. While the sauce simmers you could use it to stir a pot of pasta and taste for doneness.

Normally I just use a wooden spoon for all of that though. This thing is just an over-engineered wooden spoon.

This honestly looks like a decent multi-purpose utensil.

This made me lol

I can guarantee that the peas will just block the holes, so you will be left with a spoonful of watery peas

Just drain your food in a colander like a normal fucking person

How so?
It's too narrow to be a good spatula.
The "spoon" portion is dreadfully small, and is hard to use since it's near the middle of the tool rather than being near the end.

Seems like a shitty design to me. I doubt it's even silicone; it looks like some kind of rigid plastic.

I'm not saying it isn't useful, but is it any more useful than an ordinary looking spoon like this? I can't think of anything that you could do with one but not the other.

>it looks like some kind of rigid plastic.
It has to be to be useful as a spatula or makeshift cutting edge. It reminds me of something you'd see in the homewares section of Ikea. Not really a new category of tool, just a "quirky" design for a slightly improved cooking spoon. Trying to market it as a "unitool" is a bit ridiculous.

Larger surface area for cutting and it's a strainer.

>>larger surface area for cutting
Useless. Why would I want to cut anything with a tool like that?

>>it's a strainer
An awkward to use, tiny, one. Who cares?
I'll take a normal spoon any day.

>It has to be to be useful as a spatula or makeshift cutting edge
Nope. As far as Spatulas go, check out "GIR" aka "get it right" brand. Those are silicone and are highly effective as spatulas. As for cutting? I imagine anything soft enough to cut with that plastic monstrosity can be cut with the nearly anything, "teeth" or not.

youtu.be/stTzLmoStsU
tortilla pod machine

Strainer is not necessary, just tip the spoon if you want the water to drain off. It's not very deep so it hardly holds any anyway. If you want to use it to taste sauces or something, you're relying on the sauce sticking to the plastic more than on capturing it in the bowl.
As for the cutting edge, the quick pic I googled isn't ideal. The similar spoon I use at home has more of a squared off edge so it's perfectly adequate for browning meat or what have you. A wide billed spatula would be better than either one for that purpose of course, but a squared of spoon is no worse than the "unitool."

It does lack that serrated edge, but I can't think of any reason you'd ever want to use that. This pic does not convince me that the thick-ass serrated edge can cut anything you couldn't cut with the flat edge.

I'm talking about something you can use to separate ground beef or sausage. It's already ground up so you don't need to "cut" anything, you just need something rigid to push it around with. A soft spatula like for working batter would not be useful for that task. Something like this pic would be (although I'm not sure whether this is a silicone or nylon spoon, maybe there is some kind of hard silicone which is different from the squishy cake batter spatula stuff I'm imagining).

>I'm talking about something you can use to separate ground beef or sausage.

That doesn't require any kind of stiffness at all. And it certainly wouldn't be done with the side of the spatula where the teeth are. Nearly anything can be used to break up ground meat.

joseph joseph from johnson and johnson

>That doesn't require any kind of stiffness at all
It has to be stiffer than the consistency of raw meat! I don't think we're even talking about the same thing anymore since this is common sense. I looked up those silicone "GIR" spatulas you were talking about and they look totally different from what I was thinking of (which are practically floppy), so I guess they can make silicone with different textures.

>And it certainly wouldn't be done with the side of the spatula where the teeth are.
Of course not, that's one of the reasons I'm saying that serrated edge is useless. You would only ever use the flat edge.

im fuckin speechless.
i could make about 2 dozen tortillas for like 30 cents. that one tortilla has to cost at least $1. I could make tortillas for the rest of my life and still not cover the cost of whatever the fuck you want to call this machine.

>That exaggerated accent on random words.
OUT OUT OUT

but how would you know she's a REAL mexican if she didnt pronounce their words in a forced, heavy accent??

There hasn't been a real Mexican for hundreds of years.

smoke it and discover the best snack ever made

How frequently would someone need to use something like this to make it even close to worth the close? Who makes tortillas this much?

Dying alone