Write what's on your mind

Does my God even give a shit about me?

Waiting for a call back for a job at a pet store. Went to see the manager the week before last and was told he was on vacation for two weeks. The employee I talked to told me they were really shortstaffed and I thought it was shitty he took a vacation over sorting everything out.

This job is almost my last chance though. I have applied to Walmart, Best Buy, etc. Nothing. Applied to warehouses and they don't even want me. Went to a temp agency and all they did was sell my information.

I'm thinking about shooting myself but I really want to be a part of a communist revolution and shoot altrighters. It's keeping me going.

I'm currently hanging out at this theater with a buddy and his sister and they seem way more interested in each other than in me.
>inb4 hentai references

i want to talk to pretty young girls

Serves you right for being a faggot. You reap what you sow, you bug chasing degenerate.

>2017
>thinking attraction matters
just do it

depends which one your god is
if he's the protestant one, then yes

you sound jewish
are you jewish?

why don't u go to school and get a degree? even a degree in literature will give u better job options than walmart and a petshop...this "only stem ppl get jobs" meme is the worst crap and basically just something asian kids whose parents forced them into stem like to repeat, but the statistics show any kind of four year degree massively increases your lifetime earnings compared to anything else, high school dropout vs high school grad is very little difference, and bachelors vs masters very little difference, but high school grad vs bachelors is basically working poor vs livable wages

I can't afford it and I don't want to go into debt just for a small pay raise. I hate America.

Estou fodido: quarta-feira tem
Uma prova pra qual eu não estudei;
Dai-me forças, Jesus, e eu rezarei,
Um terço para ti, e o cu também.

my ass does
not belong to
you

it is a
precious flower
puckered and
tempting

that only
one worthy
may enter

Ha! Posits an other. Positions his gun. Load blown. Libidinal forces drained.

Me, I'm doing ok. I'm back and forth about what is better, running or weightlifting. What is better to keep my waves regular, my chemicals tingling, my sense of disengagement my centre baring. Caring about an animal might do. There are certainly worst fates.

But it's nice to keep in touch.

Yeah. Same problem. But at the point you're flip flopping between killing yourself and taking on debt, you should at least sign up for a logic course at a university level. Logic is very useful, and fun to explode.

I want to get my dick sucked, I want to play Nier Automata, and I want my student loans paid off. I'd like some food right now too.

so get an associates degree paid for by fafsa and then transfer into a state college on scholarships due to having a decent gpa at cc, it's not hard. that's the other thing about those stats, the bachelor's increased earnings regardless of school ranking, this idea that you have to go to top ten or else just be an uneducated hillbilly is fucking stupid

My favorite piece by Mozart is "Lacrimosa". He died before finishing it and the man who had commissioned it got some other composer to finish it. So I wonder, maybe I will like the composer who finished it.

I want to thigh fuck some thicc-thighed milf with a condom who fucks only in the loophole poophole to preserve her virginity forever and who's wearing underwear and flats.

I want to see some hot mother and son affair in which the son fucks her in the pussy and only cums in her poophole because it doesn't count as incest if she doesn't get pregnant.

Also want to read The Time Machine but I'm kind of sleepy.

Are you a virgin?
If yes:get your fuck on
If no:tell her how you feel

is that you rupi?

I've noticed that when I kiss women in an intimate moment my eyes stay open. Is this strange at all? They'll have their eyes closed as they get into it, but my eyes don't close.

You can choose to close your eyes.

I hate everything. That's what's on my mind. Every minute of every day, has been for 15+ years, possibly my whole life.

Philosophy. I want to learn about it but am having trouble finding a place to start.

That's a sign that you're a faggot according to psychology.

I hate myself for reasons I'm not entirely sure of. My body isn't out of shape, I'm not of below average intelligence, I have a Girlfriend (hardly), and I have a good family. I feel so often something resembling anxiety, but much different altogether. Maybe it's fear, but I don't know what to be afraid of.
Maybe I do think I'm stupid
Can't focus on books well, maybe I'm less than most of these people. Why does it take me longer to do things? Am I too short? No I'm fine, there are others worse than me. Where is my girlfriend? Probably drunk, I don't even physically interact with her on account of being in an online relationship. I don't care about her like I did for that other girl. There's a book in my closet with my ex's handwriting in it, telling me how much she loves me; Lawrence of Arabia. Can't get near that book without some sort of emotional sickness. Am I not prepared enough for college? Why don't I get better scores on my standardized testing? Fuck this, going to bed.

Dam i dont think ill ever beat those Jews.

I just realized I can't tell whether I'm interested in being in a relationship or just interested in the IDEA of being in a relationship. Like, I don't like being alone all the time but the idea of being with someone else right now is exhausting.

For fucks sake, I'm ready to lay down arms if you meet my terms. I do not want this to go any further but I will not be subjected to any more abuse. Compromise and don't pretend this isn't hurting you just as much as me.

reddit.com/r/AskPhilosophyFAQ/comments/4ifqi3/im_interested_in_philosophy_where_should_i_start/

grow a spine and tell her no, who the hell even likes pushovers?

They always choose war don't they? It's never easy.

My country is in the midst of a death coming for a hundred years, and I am powerless to stop it. In fact, it may have died long ago and I am merely residing in its corpse like a maggot. The people of my country are surely maggots, for they aren't human beings. I am going to have to do something about it

It's an open offer. An easy one. Don't prolong this to Q3, Q4. Meet the terms. Don't make me keep doing this to you. I don't want to anymore. I don't want to hurt anyone. I never asked for this and I never wanted to. I've gotten my justice if you merely take this last step. Don't keep this up for longer, nobody wants it. It would be simple and easy to just compromise here and now.

I'm a Pisces and my parents are Virgos. That must mean I'm Christ or something, right? Idk anymore. I'm no longer a virgin

I lost it at 22, fucking a girl from behind while - unbeknownst to her - wearing her coverup. Fucking her from behind, looking at myself in her mirror while wearing her coverup.
Famous guys wear makeup.

What is life? Baby I'm hurting. I'm hurting. You whore

I DONT FEEL. I DONT CARE. BUT I HATE EVERYONE, LIFES NKT FAIR.
GIVE ME A SIGN...

Don't get me wrong. If it's a fight to the end you want, then that's what you'll fucking get. I just thought there was a bit more sense in you.

joseph goebbels was a lanky if not handsome man.

damn man I really should be writing my short stories but I've got this headache coming on. Another seven hours at my night shift... Gonna be a long night.

Harrowing first person essay, philosophical treatise, or meditation manual?

If you can't get a shitty job then you're a moron and you need to learn to lie on your resume.

philosophical treatise. meditations and essays are for boiuse genullos.

He looks very short

He was 5'5". Short man, tall voice.

coming to terms with mediocrity. not in all aspects, or that I am mediocre. just that, in some areas of my life, i'm not as good as i want to be, not as good as others. it could be anything. i find that its the more minute things that make me crazy. I could give a shit if i'm not as tall or attractive as somebody. i don't mind if somebody has math or working on a car come easier to them. but if my mom is better at driving at night than me, i go up the fucking wall. it's not psychosis or an illness, or i don't think it is. it's just subtle stuff. since i was a kid, subtle stuff is what made me laugh, its what entertained me, its what made me cry. i work at panera bread, and usually im closing. i do dishes and clean the dining room. i got the job there almost two months ago and I'm pretty okay. but i work with people who have been there for a year and a half plus. they get the shit done so fast, like just really flying through it. its just a downer. the feeling of being mocked or laughed at, or castigated. its silly, obviously, but it really does just get to me. its that inherent need, no matter how 'alpha' or 'beta', most single mother products have to be accepted and part of whatver herd is applicable at the time. another thing im thinking about is panera bread's foccacia. its salty, slightly briney with these little pockets of salty, oily goodness thrown through. panera bread is sick for the free food you can get.

>I'm thinking about shooting myself but I really want to be a part of a communist revolution and shoot altrighters. It's keeping me going.
Don't do it user.
I want to be the one that shoots you in your faggot face with my Luger.

The one thing immutable of consciousness is it's own consciousness. The. One. Thing.

To that consciousness - whatever is good for it is good, whatever is bad for it is bad.

Pleasure is the greatest good. Not the quick fix of drugs - because that always leads to sorrow - but ultimate pleasure.

To best ensure maximal pleasure, one would need maximal power. Financial capital is the most tangible form of power. People - who give power to capital - are the biggest source of power in the known universe.

Power and pleasure are the 2 points of life

I'm lying to everyone in my life in some form or other. Even my girlfriend, who I live with. Even you guys, right now. I lie to my therapist. I can't stand the idea of someone pitying me or looking down on me. I can't turn to anyone when I feel this way because nobody even knows me beyond the lies I've come up with for them. If I kill myself, it won't matter. I killed myself a long time ago. How can you say anyone cares about me when the person they care about isn't even real? There is something deeply wrong with me. I have been this way since I was a child. There is something wrong in my head. When you've been falling for so long that your skin starts burning, to land seems so sweet.

Sorry if that's not good. I'm not in flow right now

I have fetal alcohol syndrome. I can't quite blame her as I'm dirt as well. I'm smoking a camel as I browse a literature board, sitting on the couch outside my trailer. I feel constantly that I may be shot out here. There is a constant tension in the air. For my birthday my mother sent me a bong and some money, but the package was stolen off the doorstep. I'm tired of living here, there's nothing left for me. I daydream of moving to Russia or Ireland. Maybe Ukraine. How hard is it to move to a random euroshit country and live in a small countryhouse? People like me weren't meant to live.. I am dirt. I found a lump in my testicle, but I've never been to a doctor, and I'm not going to start now.

What manner of madness is this? You would watch yourselves burn rather than concede to a just conclusion? So be it.

Dark stuff. What race are you?

jewish/korean

The first explains why you're a liar, the second your emotional stubbornness, and the combo your internal hapa rage. But since the side I know you connect with the most, the jewish side, is responsible for producing the race-mixing propaganda I must assume you have been personally afflicted by, I cannot garner much sympathy. Are most jewish/asian combos messed up? I haven't met any. I did know a jew who had kids with a Korean woman but they were just toddlers.

Here's an excerpt from a journal entry I just got writing, pretty personal stuff. I don't expect you guys to understand the religous elements of it, but maybe some of you who aren't the handholdless virginuous state might understand my love

DJ: couldn't remember my dreams

Had overall a pretty useless day. I talked to Jane intermittently almost the entire time. I began talking about Dietrich, which got me talking about how important I've found it is to tell the truth, and how I've attempted to do so the best that I can over the past months. Then the conversation branched off into how we both counter negative self talk, which got us both talking about our self-worth. She told me that until I came along she had no reason to feel like anyone truly loved or cared about her. I made sure to express how wonderful she was to me, and how precious of a person she is. Kinda glad I didn't say "beautiful", that word might've given the wrong impression. Then we actually got to talking about our relationship, and how tense it's always been in person. I didn't claim to know why, because in reality I don't know very well, but I revealed my suspicion as to why this awkwardness exists between us by my suggestion that we develop more as buds and take it as slow as we have been. Some beautiful things were said, all u gotta do is scroll up to that conversation and read it. I felt love and meaning come back to my life since that blissful hour we spent in each other's arms that last time we really saw each other.

I just started working at a shitty job with the kind of gone people you learn about on tv. There's a sense of awkwardness mixed with mental illness that pervades the whole thing.

I stay up late to maximize time to myself and drink an uncomfortable amount of coffee during the day. My sense of consciousness feels stultified, like it has no room to stretch.

Even on this board. Everyone is just a fucking idiot (please prove me wrong). I've yet to find an environment where this isn't the case.

Truth is there and for the taking. I feel like I need a partner, just to ready set go with things. Either for money, fun, or power.

It feels like no one wants to do anything

I will never forget those few days, and I will never regret skipping German class for that time I spent with her. I wish I could be with her right now. Nothing else seems to matter. God, I don't want to make the same mistake, help me. Help me. I don't know what to do, maybe I should take a step back? I couldn't be sinning here. This is definitely a "foothold" moment though, so I should make sure to establish myself in you tomorrow morning. I'm tired of running away, but I still resent, and I still don't understand, and I still doubt, and in my heart I feel an immense resistance toward You that is so deep-set I wonder if it will ever go away. With your grace, I believe I am still saved. But I don't want just to be saved. I don't want to be just religous enough to be miserable. I want to know how to love you. I want to desire you on more than just the level of sheep. I have already expressed in this in one way or another. Lord, you have intervened in my life. By your hand, the sorrow and tragedy that otherwise might have befallen Jane and me in our relationship to a much greater degree was kept to a minimum. I hope that my life can be of some use to your Kingdom, but my pride feels too great to overcome. Lord I am helpless to change myself. I am ultimately helpless before the world, helpless before men, helpless before myself. A small and frail child, whose only success had been won in view of absolute necessity. You, of course, are mighty, and strong, and able to lift me up high above all of my worries and wants. Why should I praise you for that? Why is that of any achievement? It just is. You just are. You are the creator of the universe, the knitter of my bones, the breath of life that kindled the small flame of my very being. I am like a little chick under your wing, a little chick. In this world I feel no pride, no greatness of soul. In my faith I feel bland and lukewarm. I feel as if I am salt without any flavor, good only to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. Through both worlds I aimlessly float, not caring enough to suffer, and not suffering enough to care. I just want something to die for. I want something tangible to die for. Why isn't this given to me. Why am i so alone. Why have you made me to be so alone?

i want to write but i can't fucking write i don't know what to write about and my brain hurts and my stomach hurts and i'm tired and what the fuck is even the point of writing anymore if i'm never satisfied with anything i write?

bonus complaint: i wish my girlfriend wouldn't get mad at me when i smoke

I am not alone. I have her, but yet at the same time I don't have her, and I don't want her. I want her so badly but sometimes entertaining and humoring her drains me and I don't know if that means I really want her. I want her love, but I don't even really want her friendship. I don't actually want anyone's friendship. Friendship is worthless to me, it must be , just look at the outcome of my life. What I crave, what I need, is love. When it comes to human beings, I am only interested in water sourced from the deepest wells. I cannot abide playing in shallow creeks or rivers, I cannot be content exploring the tidepools while the whole ocean sets it significance against me. I realise, though, that I must have my wits about me in those shallow places, even if I don't much care for them. There sea spiders and all sorts of nasty creatures reside, and if I don't watch out, who knows what might bite my heels as I walk.

How do I get a Veeky Forums gf, lads?

Consider killing yourself you useless cunt, I am always having to make up for your fuck ups because you can't do anything right you fucking piece of shit
I'm not talking about myself

I need take my own advice, but love yourself more. Groom yourself. Make yourself attractive and cool just like you want you gf. Work out and take time for aesthetics (in grooming, lit, music etc)

I took the antidepressant Luvox a few years ago, and to this day, I feel extremely aggressive and constantly feel the need to filter and erase almost every thought and behavior in my mind. They're that aggressive and destructive. Never take antidepressants. They completely change who you are. I once read that Eric Harris was on Luvox when he did Columbine, and I can totally understand why he did it

Why the fuck would you want that shit? Veeky Forums women are fucking annoying, just like female vedo gamerz. I'd rather have a gf who's into Veeky Forums, /p/ or Veeky Forums. Some activities just look bad when women engages in it like skateboarding, politics, boxing or in this case philosophy(philosophy is most of Veeky Forums anyways), that's why there's a YA genre in literature.

>Never take antidepressants.

Some of them are day and night to.

Get the fuck out of this beautiful country you left-leaning pussy. You can't get a job at PetCo but you want to "shoot altrighters". You would die before you lift your weapon.

Are you 17 or 18? Also, how can you hardly have a girlfriend? Probably just ennui. Worrying isn't going to change anything, and the future you envision isn't going to happen. So just relax, my man.

>tfw /jp/ art school gf

I live in Ukraine, and let me tell you: it's a shithole. A different one from yours, so they're not really comparable, but still a shithole. I dream of moving to a civilized first-world country, but at the moment it's nothing more than a dream.

It's not even a "euro" country, Russia and Ukraine are in their own category of shittiness that's unique to post-soviet states: Everything you see is in varying states of decay, you can feel it in the very air. Gray, brown, black, and various shades of those are literally the predominant colors here. Extreme social unequality everywhere, people trying hard as fuck to show off their money in front of beggars, riding their luxury SUVs in potholed streets filled with stray dogs. The people on the street look fucking ridiculous, with their faux-designer clothes and a total lack of any kind of aesthetic sense.

It's shit, don't come here. Also, these fucking captchas that google keeps giving me is driving me nuts.

Dude shut the fuck up, I'm on medication and it saved my life. I'm nervous as fuck and constantly sweating and my sex drive has been completely annihilated but at least I'm not an emotional wreck anymore.

I fucking hate the factionalism of the left
Either someone's not radical enough or not using your safe space buzzwords
Or their principals are more important than the healthcare of 23 million people so they can't compromise and vote for a shill over a fraud because the lack of an organised left prevents a better alternative emerging

who cares. if you don't like her, just continue being her friend. I know for a fact that women don't REEEEEE as hard as men do.

you should still watch her pets tho.

I'm just as much of a burnt misogynist as most of us here, but having female """friends"""" is not so bad. Mostly they just pad your ego and give you worthless advice but they also give you things like baseball game tickets. It's really not that unpleasant.

How did your English get so good?

I once had a crush on a girl who was kind of like that, even though she didn't go on /jp/. We watched some wacky anime at my house, then I wanted her to stay over, but she said she had some shit to do. I wasn't even expecting to have sex with her, just thought it'd be nice to have someone over for the night. We kissed for a bit, then when I was hugging her, she said she's a lesbian of sorts, and finds women more attractive. She was lying though, I stalked her on social network site and she's now "in love" with some fag.

Don't know why I'm telling you this, but the story amuses me to this day, for some reason. The way I asked her to stay over was so autistic and self-conscious, and the whole time we spent together was awkward, like in some stupid, B-grade artsy movie. Also, I knew she was lying about being a lesbian then, but didn't call her out on it.

FUCK YOU CUNT, I MAKE BETTER COFFEE THAN YOU, YOU'VE BEEN WORKING THERE THREE YEARS AND YOU STILL DONT KNOW WHAT A GROUPHANDLE IS CALLED STOP PRETENDING YOUR BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE JUST CAUSE YOU'VE BEEN THERE THE LONGEST WHY DO YOU AUTISTICALY INSIST THAT NO ONE BUT YOU CAN TOUCH THE COFFEE MACHINE YOU MAKE LIQUID SHIT OUT OF THOSE BEANS

Russia girls very beautiful

Is there even a thing such as "left" in the mainstream politics? I mean, everything is so samey, that it's find to hard difference between the various parties and candidates. The "Democrats" are "left" is a shitty meme, since there's no real left in there.

>The people on the street look fucking ridiculous, with their faux-designer clothes and a total lack of any kind of aesthetic sense.

Yeah, I was in Ukraine briefly and this immediately stood out to me. And, as a result, I stood out to all of the natives. I didn't need to speak for them to know I was foreign. I liked the women's hair though. They all wear it so long.

The democrat party leadership is not left.
They are the less extreme faction of the Business Party.
There are people within it and its voters who are best described as social democratic/democratic socialist, basically still holding to the ideals of the New Deal

Don't date "artsy" girls unless you have a Charles Manson/cult leader personality and can emotionally/mentally dominate pointlessly stubborn women. They'll just betray you. Don't let the glittery aspects of certain women pull the wool over your eyes (hurr durr she is so Veeky Forums! just like my waifus omg!). One must have a sharp eye for true sensitivity and substance.

After becoming responsible, just settle for one you find pretty and of decent taste and morals and thinks you're "interesting".

I started at an early age, I think it's the only reason. I couldn't rely on having a translation for all those games I wanted to play.

It's disgusting that whites are expected to walk on eggshells around every other group, yet "white male" -- literally the cohort responsible for creating nearly everything these unappreciative peasants enjoy about the modern world -- has been turned into a pejorative people openly throw around like it's nothing. This is why it's so hard for me to understand non-boomer, internet-savvy whites who still can't connect the dots on the jewish question. You have been made the enemy, it's all right in front of your face, and I can point to the jews orchestrating it on a daily basis and say "look," but many will still shrug or pretend it's just a cohencidence. But more and more are waking up each day. I'm not actually worried and the future looks better with time as far as awareness among young people, but it's just odd that so many block this reality out and don't track down the information, then complain about how their life is shit, when the information explains precisely why that is the case. Life is just strange I guess.

>go to a new library today
>its pretty big
>there's barely any fucking books
>instead there are all these open spaces and study rooms and tables and chair set ups
>"library"
>so, anyway go upstairs to waste the afternoon on intertubes and reading because I'm neet
>a summer-y short haired qt with red hair in a flower print blouse and velvet-ish skirt and stockings sits on my right
>a vaguely goth-ish short haired qt with black hair in black dress and stockings sits on my left
>tfw

And then there's this retard

I didn't say spreading the word didn't come without its rewards, though, like making Shlomo sweat.

It's not about her being angry that I fear. But rather, why would anybody try to turn a relationship romantic days before they fuck off for weeks, meanwhile expecting you to do their domestic work? And I know she's one of those that always need to have a boyfriend to feel safe. So fuck her, manipulative bitch.

Also I'm angry at myself because I tried to be unprejudiced throughout this shit, when my experience about male-female friendships always turn this way. But yes I should have taken care of the pets because I promised that beforehand, apologized bluntly.

What were you doing here? Can't imagine what kind of business anyone would have here.

Yeah, I like playing "spot the foreigner" whenever I'm in the center of the city. They always stand out in some way. It's funny, because most of the time their outfits look more subdued than that of the locals', without all the garish colors. Americans wear funny-looking shirts tucked into their mustard-colored pants, and the typical "foreign businessman" is bald and wears glasses. Also, shoes are often a dead giveaway. If they don't look like they've been worn by 3 generations of peasants, and don't have a sharp protruding toe cap, they're probably not from around here.

The white male is immunized against all dangers: one may call him a scoundrel, parasite, swindler, profiteer, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But call him a white male and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: “I’ve been found out.”

I bet you just came from the other thread on deconstruction, where you explained that it's all a jewish ploy to subjugate the white man, right?

Mother died today, maybe yesterday, I don't remember.

You're right, yeah. It's funny how I came to pretty much the same conclusions by myself after that. Same goes for unnecessarily "complex" people that try to seem really smart and shit. They're just not worth the time and effort. It's just really fucking funny how after so much time of building up this persona of themselves as a true intellectual that's just out of this world, they end up fawning over the same kinds of not-very-bright guys. Ones who usually treat them like shit, too.

Mmm, something seems off....

Is that what I said? Regardless, it should come as no surprise that all conflict boils down to one group if males against another; to deny that is the case is to deny reality.

You sound laughably simple-minded when it comes to relationships. Most of the boys on Veeky Forums think they crave substance when all they need is validation and ego-stroking, it's disgusting. A girl having a personality is now a bad thing apparently. Try living in the real world.