Poached Eggs

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
why are these so fucking difficukt to make they never look like the restaurant ones and they taste likenfucking vinegar

Protip: make them in a frying pan with just enough water to cover them.
spoon out the loose egg as it cooks

it will keep its nice shape and when you get a hang of it it will be easy to do every time.

Small cup, cling film in there, bit of oil, egg, wrap, twist, put in slightly boiling water....nicely shaped poached egg is done...

don't use vinegar- the best way for them to form well is to use the freshest possible eggs

>they never look like the restaurant ones and they taste likenfucking vinegar

Restaurants use a mold to keep their shape and stop putting so much vinegar in the water you don't even need it if your technique is good

only some use molds
ours don't
but they also don't use pure vinegar, it's really not that much

I usually just softboil mine - easier on the cleanup, drier on the delivery.

but, as mentioned, less water, mild simmer (if you use a mold in a still-simmer kind of environment, you will have the best results), fresh eggs.

my boi kenji here saves the day:
>buy fresh eggs
>strain your eggs in a fine-mesh strainer
>don't put vinegar in
>create a vortex with chopsticks or whatever
>lower the egg into the vortex using the strainer
bam, 10/10 poached eggs every single time

>boiling food directly in plastic wrap with a ton of plasticisers
Enjoy our moobs.

this, This is what Herold Mcgee suggests too.
Mcgee should be required reading before posting.

I just put boiling water from a kettle into a pint glass and drop and egg in there. Like everyone else said, use fresh eggs.

you do not need to use vinegar. all you have to do is get a fresh egg, put it very gently into vigorously boiling water, let it set up for a few seconds and then turn the heat down or off. don't bother fucking around with vinegar or swirling the water or any shit like that, it does not work. i only add vinegar when making eggs benedict because that's an expected flavour at this point.

these never look like an actual poached egg.

>vigorously boiling
This will fuck your shape up

my mom has one of these and i hate it. it doesnt taste the same

>all you have to do is get a fresh egg
Do supermarket eggs count? Otherwise farmers markets are for fags.

It's hit and miss, mostly miss.
I don't know where you live but where I'm at people with chickens sell eggs on kijiji

Not in my experience. I used to be very careful with maintaining a low simmer and I found that at home, in a small pot, the egg will both cool down the simmer and fall to the bottom of the pot before the whites can form fully around the egg, resulting in a flatter profile.
Where I am, in the uk, it can be quite hard to get fresh eggs at supermarkets as they’re stored unrefridgerated. It’s certainly not impossible though.

I've tried making poached eggs before, but they just taste soggy. I don't know if that's just my fault for being inexperienced or if I just don't appreciate them. What are they supposed to be like?

I love my tits, even if they are hairy.

Like a lighter boiled egg. Make sure you drain them thoroughly.

>timing poached eggs be levitation

So its confirmed that only wizards can properly poach eggs.

Yeah I don't know but that kind of looks like it bakes your egg. I'm not an expert but I don't think that's exactly poached.

What's with all the hate for vinegar in the water? It's only there to speed up hardening the eggwhite and not supposed to give the egg any real taste.

I don’t hate it but I think it’s unnecessary.

It's kinda unnecessary unless you don't have your way of doing it yet. I learned it with vinegar and stiring before moving on to only stiring.

it always does leave its taste behind though

Would it be possible to crack an egg into one of these tea infuser balls and then drop it in the water? I'd test it but I don't have any of these things.

I’m pretty sure that would work as long as the eggs weren’t old as fuck

Just do the vortex, I don't know what the problem is. I guess they might work but I would expect your egg to still be loose and all complicated by the mesh.

I have a quick and simple solution OP, and I sweat it has nothing to do with sticking eggs up your ass. Simply pour the raw egg into a wet, large plastic spoon or ladle then submerge the the spoon with the egg slowly into the boiling water, hold for a several seconds for the outside of the egg to cook somewhat and retain its shape, then release it.

wala

Heh? What? I'm sure this is posted as a joke but I wonder what the person who made it was thinking. They'd be better of just cracking the egg in there sous vide or whatever. Why scramble it? Fuck, you'd be better off doing this in a ziploc bag.

Perfect.

i bet that cup is so hot.

I have one of these and, while I agree that they're not usually quite as good it's so much easier that I use mine a lot.

>egg chastity cages

I tried this last weekend. It worked fine.

Poached eggs are literally one of the easiest things to cook, what are you doing user.

just make soft boiled eggs, they're far better

Then why are there so many methods?
Checkmate!

People are retarded?
>crack egg into simmering water
>don't fuck it up

Wow that was fucking hard, cooking is such an intense skill but now I get to walk around and tell everyone what a great cook I am because I can cook AN EGG.

>cooking is so simple
>heat food
Wow, so simple!!!

Fuck off you worthless shit.

>he doesn't just use a microwave poacher

>don't fuck it up
you are willfully ignoring how complicated this step is.

t. cannot poach an egg

Go get a fucking pan, get some water simmering, and practice if you're having trouble. If you're in the midwest eggs are basically free right now, it's your time to shine.

Making bernaise or hollandaise is hard, poaching an egg is not. Both require skill, sure, and getting the consistency (and from this thread) the shape means you need to know what you're doing, but it definitely isn't hard.

OP asked for advice you retard. Saying 'boil water, put an egg in it, and do it over and over until you don't fuck it up' is not enough information. There are techniques.

>There are techniques.
There are ways to fuck it up, like everyone who suggests adding vinegar. Some things you just need to do, poaching an egg is one of them. You literally just crack an egg into simmering water, by all means share what "techniques" you use to accomplish this.

just buy this

>like everyone who suggests adding vinegar
Jacque fucking Pepin' says to add vinegar. Do you think you know more than him?

drop in pan with water and cover

put on 2 slices of toast

>Do you think you know more than him?
Apparently

Don't put vinegar in your water, and swirl the simmering water into a vortex before dropping it in to keep your poached egg together! Fuck, did you even read this thread? Acting like there's zero advice possible. Fuck yourself, OP already whined about a mistake he was making and asked for correction.

Yes. Add a little white vinegar and have a decent buzz going and you'll get it in no time. I use a pasta spoon to take them out.

>Making bernaise or hollandaise is hard, poaching an egg is not.
they're about as hard as each other, the sauces are just more work. you only need to try a couple times supervised by a decent cook and you've got it down. that's true of almost anything in cooking. the main thing with poached eggs is just that having an old ass egg really fucks it up regardless of what technique you use.

>having an old ass egg really fucks it up regardless of what technique you use.
This is definitely true, maybe that's why I've never really had trouble, I live a short drive away from a farm, which is where I get my eggs. There is very little room for error in making hollandaise, because there's much more going on, and the timing seems much more precise in general. I could be wrong about how hard it is to poach an egg, it could just be because I've been able to do it for forever and don't think about it any more, but it's really not something I have any trouble with, and I follow the same steps I posted. Just crack an egg into simmering water, and take it out when it's done. Adding vinegar is definitely wrong though, I've done it when making eggs benedict (as another user said, they're pretty much supposed to taste like that now) but if I'm just poaching an egg, which I do very often, it's really unacceptable to add vinegar just because you can't be bothered to do it right.

a microwave cooker like one of these is the way to go, imo
you spray the cups, crack in two eggs, a spoonful of water in each cup, 2m on medium power. wipe out the cups, you're done

sous vide makes the best poached eggs imo, but they take like a whole fucking hour to make. heat water to 140, then cook them in the shell for half an hour and crack them right onto toast

those fuckers are egg bombs, vortex method ftw

You're supposed to pierce the yolk a few times. I use mine every morning and the only time it's popped was the first time I used it. Didn't read the directions and I didn't poke the yolks.

I use these because I'm a lazy piece of shiiiiiiiiiiiit

it isn't hard at all, but because people without regular access to fresh eggs have such variable results they think they have no control over the situation. it's the same with fried eggs. pretty hard to fuck up a fried egg when it's fresh as fuck, but there's a whole litany of hacks people have come up with to make it with shitty old ones.

the vortex method, for instance, is unnecessary with fresh eggs but it can't hurt. it is useful with semi-fresh eggs. but when you have an egg that has almost completely broken down, stirring the water at all completely fucks up the shape and spins off shitloads of pieces of white which make a foam, the yolk gets exposed to the water, you end up digging into this giant fucking marshmallow at the top of the pot to search for your god forsaken egg and you pull it out and it looks like a rolled up condom. i've seen it happen a million times. this kind of shit makes people doubt themselves. no. it's not your fault. you have a shitty egg and you followed advice by someone who doesn't use shitty eggs.

the one fundamental thing you can do to ensure your egg doesn't completely fuck up is just to lower the egg very gently into the water and have the water boiling enough to lift it from the bottom of the pot. anything else will either make for marginal improvement or make it worse if it's an old egg.

Hilarious I can make an omelette in 30 seconds,,,,; poaching eggs in a cup for 14 mins you've lost the plot kid

making a hollandaise is about being careful. poaching an egg is a more finicky matter. i'm willing to bet restaurants throw out more bad poached eggs than scrambled hollandaise.

Oh cool, link me to your amazon with your James beard award winning technique book, I'll replace La Technique with yours.

I serve a benny on the weekend. I cook the eggs at 61 degrees for an hour in the shell, then later, when I popem into my poaching pot, they're half coagulated and keep a perfect shape. Only downside is a small loss of egg to the inner surface of the shell.

not that guy but come on. appealing to authority so hard on a topic like cooking isn't done. there are always multiple ways of doing things and even the best may have done a few things a little wrong. it's not like pepin's techniques were peer reviewed.

I'll just post it here, it's pretty short

How to Make Poached Eggs
By user

Chapter One

Don't add vinegar to the water you fucking hack.
The End.

>what is James Beard.

why is poaching even a thing

just fry that shit over easy in 3 minutes you fucking pussy

that's Jack being a dumb faggot and trying to make scrambled eggs via sous vide though

It's so fucking easy lol
Get one of those tiny glass dessert bowls that hold like a scoop of ice cream, crack the egg into it, hold the bowl at an angle, slowly dip it in boiling water, and kind of roll it out using your wrist until it's in an egg shape again.

It takes a couple tries to get the swing of things, but it isn't too hard as long as you have some sort of hand-eye coordination. I don't have much and it's still really easy for me. Just don't sperg out.

What makes this better than just soft boiling the egg?
Not having to remove the shell?

soft boiled eggs roll around.