Severely depressed existencial nihilist

Read it.

if anything write your feeling on a google doc. Read it and laugh.

>severely depressed existencial nihilist
Tell me. doesn't it bother you when you misuse (rather eccentric) philosophical positions to describe your emotional state? Do you realize any first year student of philosophy could probably blow your convictions the fuck out on a philosophical level while you would stubbornly keep repeating "nothing rly matters nothing rly matters" proving your own intellectual inadequacy?

Doesn't that bother you? From now on wouldn't you rather just say you are depressed and nothing feels worthwhile anymore?

This.

And from now on post on >>/r9k/ OP, because they are the only delusion brainlets left who won't laugh at you when you say things like this.

Blow the fuck out how? By being delusional about there being some cosmic significance to our existence?

All meaning and value is ultimately subjective.

Argument from a faceless authority, great stuff, buddy. How about you actually "blow the OPs convictions out of the water" for once? As a philosophy student I would be interesting in hearing your well thought out points that surely have philosophical merit and are not just shadows that you conjure up to stave off the existential dread lurking in the corners of your mind.

>Do you realize any first year student of philosophy could probably blow your convictions the fuck out on a philosophical level
Do it

This is underrated advice. Especially if you read it later on.

mediation is for calming the mind to prepare you to see that ''dispassion towards sensuality is good '', (once the appetite for sensuality is no longer a drive, there is still something to stop caring about, but this is not important for a beginner), with the first effect being the killing of being attracted to thoughts. So the way to do this is first to watch typically the breath a few minutes, then when a distraction arrives, you recall that having the monkey mind, day dreaming, thinking about past and future, expecting things, thinking about your losses, makes you miserable. Once done this, you go back to something grounding and pleasing (or non-harming) like the body or the breath (but at the beginning, watching the breath is not pleasing, and turns into boredom which becomes an excitement for ending the mediation), so stick to the body and watch how comfy it is to be in contact with the material support (like a bed, after a day of being exhausted by manual labor) by relaxing any tension in the body (typically through the muscles).
generally, when the focus on the breath or the body is lost, the muscles of the face are tensed and they must be relaxed)

The most important point for mediation is that
-the joy or pleasure makes you focused (like in any other activity, if you enjoy an activity, then you do not think about hunger, about pains, about fatigue, about the future; the pleasure makes you keep doing what you are doing)
-but pleasures which does not come form the senses is far better than the sensual pleasures (including the intellect), this pleasures arrive with first jhana (people fail to see this)
-the way to get this pleasure is first to calm the intellect [what buddhist call mano] which you do by seeing that having the monkey mind is displeasing and exhausting and you do not stop it by willing to stop it, then by keeping your focus on the body or breath and relaxing any tension
-the way to be moral, like buddhists say, is the first step to decrease the monkey mind [not lying, not building stories, not stealing, not getting into entertainment, sensuality as soon as you can, which is done by seeing that the fear of missing out on social life makes you miserable, and that there will be as much entertainment, opportunities to enjoy yourself tomorrow than there is today, so you can take a break for a while from of this entertainment]

doing this over and over will make the sadness disappear during the cession, even a bit afterwards, but once the mediation is not longer done for good, everything will turn back to what you live today. The way to stop being miserable once and for all is to meditate and afterwards reflect on the source of this misery, by willing to end your misery once and for all, accepting any consequence that this brings [it turns out that the price is to stop ''enjoying'' pleasures through the 6 senses and to rely only on the jhanas]

for instance people claim that being hungry is suffering and that stopping people to feel hunger is to feed them.this is false:
-get hungry
-get displeasure from hungriness
-feed
-may get pleasure form food
-get hungry again and still disliking it
=>feeding is not the way to stop being hungry and being displeased by hungriness

same thing with tiredness. People dislike tiredness, and they claim that sleeping is the way to stop being tired. this is false
-get tired
-sleep
-wake up
-get tired again
=>sleeping is not the way to stop being tired

this is how you identify the way to see that whatever you did so far in life did not prevent you from feeling miserable

same for being miserable

-be miserable
-read a novel, daydreaming, painting, whatever people do
-feel miserable again
=>reading novels etc. is not the way to stop being miserable
as soon as the displeasure, the annoyance, the discomfort, the boredom, the pain come back, however small they are, you know that it failed whatever happened between the two times where you were annoyed and so you do not continue to do them, since your only goal is to stop being miserable once and for all. this is how to judge if an action, a speech or a though is effective about stopping misery

See that's the point. You think that something could bother me except the boredom of life that causes me pain. You think I care about my intellect. I don't care if I find life boring because I'm too stupid or too smart. Call me whatever you like, I just want to die faster.

>implying that DFW didn't kill himself because he was depressed
I don't see you laughing either.

So you are advocating for suicide?

This.

I posted in the first place to get some advice by someone who staves off the existential dread succesfully by deluding himself.

>See that's the point. You think that something could bother me except the boredom of life that causes me pain. You think I care about my intellect. I don't care if I find life boring because I'm too stupid or too smart. Call me whatever you like, I just want to die faster.
You care enough to start a thread and post replies.

I think he's just explaining how the mind works, and it's pretty interesting.

Everyone who is not trying to become immortal is advocating for suicide, because waiting natural death is accepting that death is reasonable, because it's the ultimate outcome of both suicide and natural death. When you die it doesn't matter if it's by a natural death or suicide.

t.OP (just wanted to let you know a little how my mind personally works)

Yeah, because I'd rather argue with someone than live in my own miserable brain alone, fighting my own thoughts. As a result of that, I'll start self-harming.

This thread is just my retarded cry for help honestly, and I want to hear the interesting thoughts of the others because this is a highly intellectual board, although there're some pseuds.

Read Stanislaw Lem's Golem Lectures & Ted Chiang's Understand

I was being polemic towards the guy. He is advocating for some kind of spiritual (probably somewhat Buddhistic) dissolution of wants and I just joked about how suicide solves all the problems he presented as well.

That being said, advocating for suicide and "not trying to become immortal" are very different things. (Even killing yourself and advocating for suicide are very different.) You can, for example, coherently wish for immortality and advocate suicide at the same time.
"When you die it doesn't matter if it's by a natural death or suicide." is also questionable. It really depends on what "it doesn't matter" is supposed to mean. Of course it doesn't matter on some kind transcendental scale, that is trivial. If we however accept that self-determination is possible and valuable there is very much a difference there.

This is one of the most deceitful pictures I've ever seen. Very few philosophers have actually thought Nihilism was a good thing and had to suffer and fight their way through it. Those who enjoy Nihilism are just delusional narcissists who don't have the balls to take responsibility for their life and those around them.

>Stereotype vs. reality
Never liked that pic. It's reality vs. reality, see OP. The difference is in the respective brain chemistry, the first of which OP intellectualizes as The Truth. However he fails to see that there is no truth about the universe that has the power to actually make you feel suicidal, only yourself and your pathological hormonal imbalances and there's nothing that is inherently fun if it wasn't for happiness hormones.

However meaningless life is, before death arrives you have the choice between le sallow anime face and getting a taste of happiness. Do you want to taste the hormones? Go outside for at least two hours every day, jog for a bit, early sleep early rise, eat your veggies and socialize. Then see if you have it in you to make posts like this. You probably won't unless you have some genetic condition in which case you should see a professional.

Exactly. I'm aware that I'm a nihilist and that's the last thing I want to be. I don't care if nihilism is delusional or the opposite, I just want to not be one, because it's painful.

>nihilists are delusional because they don't live up to my arbitrary moral standards

There is ultimately no argument that can bring you to faith. Reasoning can help clear the path but ultimately it rests on a leap, through something that really resonates with you. Often it takes another person to get you there, Kierkegaard did it for me. Its the nature of the thing that thought cannot access it but philosopher's so often can't cope with that because they're so obsessed with their own thoughts that they think everything should be reducible to or accessible through them.

You have to be ready for it anyway, it can't religion can't work its magic on you unless you're in the right existential state, oftentimes you have to go through some seriously horrible despair before getting to that state, its so incredibly beautiful when you do find it though.

>nothing matters
>it matters that nothing matters
how did you get this dumb

Agreed desu. The pic isn't correct, but it illustrates that nihilism doesn't have to be necessarily sad.

As you said, it's all about the states of consciousness you cultivate.

Convincing myself in the existence of free will, objective morality, and most importantly, God, was the best thing I ever did.

OP here. I've been taking a variety of meds for 2 years. I'm treatment resistent.

Have tried everything you mentioned, that's why I ended up reading books just as a chore. I mean, nothing you mentioned actually helps me. The only thing I haven't done is socialize. But that's the issue, it's the most important part of the human's life, and I can't socialize if I want to talk about the same topics discussed on Veeky Forums and compeers talk about who fucked who, harry potter and poopi kaur.

That is not a philosophical argument.

>OP here. I've been taking a variety of meds for 2 years. I'm treatment resistent.
have you looked into ketamine therapy?

See my other post . Just keep searching and questioning. Just so you know all these new atheist pop-scientists have absolutely no authority on religion whatsoever despite their claims to rationality and objectivity. There are people out there that do know what they are talking about who have lived through the maddening despair that you're talking about.

Really?! I really hope you are trolling. My post says precisely that there is no philosophical argument that can definitively bring you to faith. Yes faith is blind but at least you can know that your faith is blind unlike most people who just assert that they have objective proof of something when in fact they have themselves made a leap without realising it.

>severely depressed because nothing for me in my shitty small town and stuck at my mum's house
>become nihilist
>realise nothing actually matters and I might as well try anything even if it seems dumb and I might die because why does it matter and I can just end it if it's too much
>move to city
>become success in sales job, fuck everything with a pussy
If I'd become a hobo I'd have just used my brain and tried to get out of it or jumped off a building

Even then, being a hobo has its benefits alongside the negatives. Truly nothing matters then, including the law. And if you get caught you get housed and fed, it's hilarious. Why do those dumb fucks sit all day on the floor, idiots

Elliot and Dylan roof were around that age

This. People treat nihilism in ways that are actually very contradictory (no meaning = bad, for example). And that is to be expected - only an omnipotent being could be a true nihilist. Human beings on the other hand are bound, they have to make decisions every moment. Wether you decide to breathe or to jump out of a window, you do it with your free will and nihilism can't tell you which choice is correct (since nothing is valuable or right/wrong).
So all that is is your will. You have to choose (ie, have a goal) and you have to be a human being at every moment.

At least, this is how I see things.

Have you tried meditation?

>you do it with your free will
Read a book, nigga.

The post you responded to was asking for a philosophical argument. You provided religious mystical hogwash. I simply meant to underline that fact.

Ok, the illusion of your free will. Same shit in this case

Depressed autists on Veeky Forums provide me with a narcissistic kind of motivation I can't get anywhere else.

Never stop making threads.

same

OP here. You realize that I've already come to the realization that I'm contradictory? But you think that that realization changes something.

If your intellectual views are contradictory but you won't change them what does that tell you? Not a rhetorical question

I've been reading about it. It seems that it's very strong substance, but there are many side-effects, it's expensive and the relief is only temporary.
Meditation isn't even something... definable, but thanks for the advice.
I know about Kierkegaard. I know that he was happy and communicative until something ruined his public reputation. I don't think he was that desperate and I don't think I have enough motiation to go through his complicated work.
Glad I helped

>Have tried everything you mentioned
Did you just 'try' and give up after a month? Or did you commit yourself to those things? Did you try anything more than that? You're 22, so I assume you've done almost nothing to arouse feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction that demand any gratification from others. You're young. Why are you giving up already? Life has no meaning, but at least try to make your own

>not socializing, people talking about menial shit
then maybe you're hanging out with the wrong group of people. not everyone is worth your time, but find the few who are. Again, you're giving up and thinking "nobody is worth my time anyways"

Yeah, same for that question. I've asked it myself about 2 years ago.

dude. same. im so fucking bored. my life is great, but its also just fucking boring.

>Meditation isn't even something... definable, but thanks for the advice.
Just the regular things that people associate with the word; controlled breathing, observing and accepting your emotions, mindfulness etc. I'm 25, I have nothing going for me and I don't think life matters either but I meditate and do hard physical work+exercise and I'm the opposite of suicidal so maybe it's worth a shot?

You meditate by the things associated with meditation or?

You haven't gone deep enough into existentialism you dip.

>Meditation isn't even something... definable, but thanks for the advice.
just do standard mindfulness/vipassana

get an app if you like

it helps

I do what I just talked about, yes. But I'm no expert. Google meditation for beginners or something like that. Afaik most people do what said.