Why haven't you gone to your local parish and joined their Bible study yet, user?

protestants aren't even real people let alone real christians

>Church is female
>user thinks entering it is gay
>wants to enter male church instead
faggot

The Church of Christ is called the bride of Christ not the people that attend, the fuck are you talking about.

...

How did you know it was a protestant was it because he was white?

the pope is the most famous cuck in the world

make no mistake catholcucks are just as fucking retarded as the protestants.

Yeah, that's why there are literally hundreds of branches of Catholicism, right? I thought so, fag.

is the fact that catholcuckery is monolithic a point in its favour?

Just want to point out how accurate the white woman looks. 90% of white women that I see with black men have that same haircut, that same make up, and the same earrings.

Also, don't lump Evangelicals in with mainline Protestants from non-stop leftist areas. If it weren't for Episcopalians of the 20th century creating the modern world with their keen business sense we'd be living in a wasteland.

>protestants are too dumb to work out their own graphics
you're not doing them many favours.

>creating the modern world with their keen business sense
>Being this modernist and bourgoise
Its true what they say, protestants are basically Jews
Im not christian

>Christian Church in charge of interpreting the Bible

the pic in is a US protestant panic about being invaded by Mexican catholics now they have already been infiltrated by atheist communists and islam and liberal protestants.

i'm giving them atheist communists as a mulligan because they seem to have islamic/arabic people supporting a communist flag, which is all kinds of retarded even for a reaganite. i'm pretending there's someone else carrying that just concealed, because we hired the muslims to fight communists.

I understand the value of the Bible as art, as the foundation of our society, and how relevant its allegories and metaphors are to all generations from then to now but I'm not a true believer.

>communist flag
nigger what the fuck that's the turkish flag

they have a sickle and hammer? thought not.

are you retarded? the flag on the far left is the flag of turkey. notice the crescent moon and star.

the central communist flag is being waved by the masked antifa goon in between the pavement ape's forearm and the christian's right cheek.

>tfw you're Catholic and you don't mind Catholic Mexicans and South Americans at all

Who cares about national borders, really? All that matters is if you're a follower of Christ.

this

Because my local church is an English speaking church. I hate anglo churches so much. Catholic anglos act as cucked as protestants. I think it's just the eternal Anglo syndrome to welcome your displacement.

>the central communist flag is being waved by the masked antifa goon in between the pavement ape's forearm and the christian's right cheek.
that's why i was willing to give them the chance it wasn't an arab/muslim waving a communist flag and someone concealed. you're fucking retarded because you thought there was one flag and when i said the communist flag you thought i was talking about turkey. are you too dumb to see how dumb that shit is?

...

I did join. I was ostracized when my ex-wife dissolved our marriage and turned the flock against me.

You are both American and Protestant, aren't you?

Because I am strongly opposed to religion and it's influence on society. I enjoy studying theology but I don't want to be surrounded by those who buy into the rhetoric during study.

No; I was brought up Irish Catholic. She was reared by two donnish professors of French who avoided the subject altogether.
How we ended up at a Protestant church is not worth elaborating.

Okay, well, I got one out of two. I knew you absolutely had to be Protestant, though, because "turned the flock against me" would never happen in an apostolic church.

>tfw athiest materialism is unsatisfying
>but Christianity still utterly incomprehensible

I did, but it was mostly people sitting around discussing how the different passages made them "feel" and how they "connected" with God and all that.

I'm more for rigorous study to establish well-founded theological arguments.

t. mathematician

>that pic
>fuckin SAVED
thanks user

yeah Catholics just want you to hate yourself and hating anyone else takes away from that.

I really just want a Christian mystic gf who wears modest clothing and sometimes inflicts the stigmata on herself in episodes of profound ecstasy and terror.

You got two out of two in a roundabout way. I didn't make it clear, but we are American in typical fashion. Her parents dreamed of being ex-patriates, and my father drank too much. I thought 'flock' would give it up either way.
The Church is cruel in its own mode: quintessentially backhanded. A familiar thing happened when my grandparents parted ways in the olden days, but no matter.
I just needed to get some sentences out and stretch my authorial bunghole. I've been constipated this week, filled up with naughty little farties.

>tf
OMG JUST SUDOKU ME

Do you people actually believe this shit or just pretend to do so as a reaction to modernity?

Why are bibles always printed double-column?

I never gave it a thought but probably for the sake of the penny. Book publishing is a business, so why not halve the production cost? It's already a weighty tome as it is. In defense of its splendor, there are probably historical reasons to account for as equally.

>this is Bible study in protestant churches

few reasons, the main one being the earliest printing press style so the Gutenberg bible set a precedent which the King James forllows. the reason they used set text like that is because it fits more into the page. part of the reason why they kept it is because shorter lines make it easier to read and not lose track of your place or the content: a run on sentence is easier to remember if you bring it down to 10 words per line instead of about 20

...

Imagine how thick that fucker would be if the text wasn't small as shit and then imagine how hard that small text would be to read if it wasn't segmented into columns.

>so why not halve the production cost?
>the reason they used set text like that is because it fits more into the page.
How exactly does this work? I'd imagine that double column printing would actually result in less text on the page. You're giving up additional margin space to the margin between columns.

think about psalms or all the other poetry books.

True, but I'd guess a good quarter of it is poetry, so you'd waste half a page either way. Idk, I'm a brainlet at mathematics.

No, I'm asking seriously. Veeky Forums Christianity seems to focus overwhelmingly on proper sexual morality, tradition for its own sake, the idea of Crusading, etc. as opposed to what should be considered basic Christian ideas like caring for the poor.

user, you realize that's all of a piece, right? Caring for the poor and proper sexual morality are both aspects of Jesus' teachings. It's all even in the Gospels. And you can't pick and choose which parts of the teachings of Christ to follow, you've got to follow all of them.

Ah fair enough, I wasn't considering the poetry.

I'm a Greco-Roman pagan.

>user, you realize that's all of a piece, right? Caring for the poor and proper sexual morality are both aspects of Jesus' teachings. It's all even in the Gospels. And you can't pick and choose which parts of the teachings of Christ to follow, you've got to follow all of them.
that's probably news to most Veeky Forums Christians

>Christian ideas like caring for the poor.
we are trying to make you not a pleb. can't speak for other boards, and I don't know how much of that is LARPing, but Veeky Forums's understanding of Catholicism is probably more thoughtful and open to criticism and debate along with being informed by fiction and ephemera. Veeky Forums focuses on the Greeks and exegesis and shit like that often enough it's more likely to be Catholic educated rather than Catholic LARPing
t. lapsed

Veeky Forums christianity seems to ignore the "caring for the poor", "loving thy neighbour", and "turning the other cheek" bits though

>Do you people actually believe this shit or just pretend to do so as a reaction to modernity?
It's a mix of the two. There's a lot of people jumping on the bandwagon because Veeky Forums is contrarian at its heart, and it brings out the people who are actually serious. It's exploded over the past 6 months here thanks to the influx of 12 year old memesters attracted by Veeky Forums's edgy reputation during the election

There's nothing wrong with understanding the historical role of Christianity in literature or in e.g. Thomist metaphysics for its own sake, but if you only engage in this and the occasional criticism of sluts and gays, you are basically the Christian equivalent of the hipster moving to Brooklyn to live the literary lifestyle.

i think you're talking more about protestants rather than the catholicism upsurge Veeky Forums has had. it's easier to call people out as wrong or heretical with catholicism especially for being protestant.

That's why those of us who are genuine Christians enjoy taking the piss out of the LARPers. For my part, I try to do it good-naturedly, in the hopes that they will learn.

>lapsed because gay and i'm taking my chances i can be excommunicated from the Church and still potentially be in God's grace
Catholicism doesn't really go away for most people raised that way. It's like asking Jewish bitches not to argue. I think the Church has a right to its views on homos, but I'm also willing to risk my eternal soul by ignoring days of obligation because I'm refusing to shrive being gay. I kinna like sloots who admit it too. hos need Love too
Catholicism is much more about self review than Protestantism (imo). People who ignore their own problems to denounce others might as well be communist baby murderers. Or whatever Jesus said about the log in your eye.

something tells me they wont be open to exegesing the Bible as cosmic horror

it has been a while since we had a numerology in revelations thread it's hard to pin cosmic horror on it when half the greek is stolen from the classics

Some of us are. Ironically Lovecraft has a better sense of the divine and the transcendent than a lot of pulp writers. All his elder gods and such do a decent job capturing the sheer vastness of a truly divine entity.

>protestant gf

enjoy your whore wife who will grow estranged and cheat on you, eventually divorcing you for half your wealth, you cuck faggot

Yeah I thought about using Lovecraft but I think the philosophical pessimism of Ligotti better captures what I experienced following my fleeting Christianity.

>being an abominable faggot

Read Kierkegaard

>thinking faggots are abominations and not anomalies
m8 abominations are that which God scrubs from the face of the earth, learn your catechism

I suppose the question every Catholic has to ask is: how devoted are you willing to be? How far are you willing to alter your life in the name of following Christ through the Church?

There's a bit of a spectrum, isn't there? At one extreme are the lapsed. At the other extreme are the saints. Most people seem to fall somewhere between those two.

>what is moses' law

Wut

lapsing is a prevention of further sin. I'd have to feel genuine regret and sorrow over being gay to repent it, and if I didn't and attended confession, I would be compounding my sins. I might as well go suck a cock.
Because there's no sex before marriage, whether you're gay or straight, you have to regret all those actions too, not just the intentions. And I think God is likely to forgive a lot of that, gay or straight.

We're all going to burn in purgatory any way, it's just a matter of how long.

jewish.

>I'm also willing to risk my eternal soul
I feel that many Christians throw around 'eternity' without really grasping the idea.

For a sense of scale: The Earth will remain in existence for another 500 million - 1 billion (10^9) years, at which time the sun will make Earth too hot to sustain life. Even though our Sun will live for about 5 billion more years, red dwarf stars, and thus life, may continue to exist for around 10^14 years, around which time star formation will cease and all the stars in the universe will burn out. And yet, life might continue to sustain itself by moving inside the event horizon of certain types of black holes past this time. But even this will not last forever, as Hawking radiation will bring about the end of the black hole era after about 10^100 years. In theory, another Big Bang could happen due to quantum tunneling in 10^(10^(10^56))) years. This is precisely 0 percent of eternity, and is in fact quite "tiny" for a natural number relative to the monsters that appear in some problems in mathematics.

Meanwhile, sinners are still burning in Hell. Too bad for them.

>That's why those of us who are genuine

Tittle and tattle, but pray drain the cup.
This is the land where we never grow up.

Catholics believe that even if you get into Heaven, you pass through purgatory. Purgatory is not a place, but a period of time in which your residual sins burn. It's more time than space-time, and potentially beyond infinite time to burn, even if you are going to Heaven. It's not just if you go to Hell, you burn. It's if you're anyone other than an immaculate conception like Mary, or Jesus himself, you burn.

> It's more time than space-time, and potentially beyond infinite time to burn,
That's even worse.

this is event horizon

meh, from your perspective. I view it as fair. Why claim we're perfect without sin when we patently not? Nobody is. Why burn some in Hell when all the rest are douches too but not douches enough to have turned completely from God?

Then the little children were brought to Jesus for Him to place His hands on them and pray for them; and the disciples rebuked those who brought them. But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them! For the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” And after He had placed His hands on them, He went on from there.

I'm referring specifically to the duration of the torment, not whether it's justified. Also, even the existence of the idea of Purgatory makes Catholicism rather kind and gentle compared to, say, Calvinism.

The duration is one of those up for speculation could be different for everyone things. It's reliant on God's grace how long it is. It could be .001 seconds even if you chopped up your whole family. It could be more than eternity even if you just lied once. It's not for us to work out. Delegate that upwards.

You really have to be a bit crazy to get on board with the "eternal torment" idea.

Jesus's giant cock inserts itself into our church.
Pubes like telephone poles, an oasis of ball sweat.

In Wigglesworth's Day of Doom, he says that damned infants get the "easiest room in hell." Funny to see how the crumbling Calvinist Puritanism tried to reconcile itself with its abominable implications.

The eternal torment part is already bad enough, but Calvinism really takes it to eleven by suggesting that some people are simply created for the purpose of eternal torment. At least Calvinism has a solution to the free-will problem that isn't just equivocation.

Because I grew out of reading children's fiction a long time ago.

Well, you have to sign up for it. Most of the criticism Protestants give is because children have their godparents vouch they'd sign up at baptism, but the Church doesn't accept that as the child's moral will because she doesn't believe children develop those until they're older. At confirmation, around 12 y/o when you are a moral agent, you sign up for it.

Incidentally, since you sign up for the whole deal, like observing certain holy days and refraining from unCatholic practices, Catholics are against proselytizers because it's seem as a greater burden to be Catholic and a moral agent who has signed that contract than just to be a moral agent outside the Church. Being Catholic and signing up for the whole deal means you have to account for breaking Church law knowingly, while if you're just a good person and not Catholic, you stand less risk of sinning against the Church. I wouldn't recommend it but I did choose it.

That's OC verse, my brother. The least you can do is return the favor and put some hip into it.

>your sins count less if you didn't choose to become a Catholic
This makes the Gospel into the Bad News.

>because it's seem
seen

That woman looks like she thinks mayonnaise is spicy.

Invincible ignorance doesn't mean you can murder people and it's not a sin. Catholic believe that everyone has a natural moral grace, and if you haven't heard of the Church, you aren't condemned to Hell. (This used be interpreted differently, but now there's explainers everywhere about EXCEPT INCULPABLE IGNORANCE)
However, if you are a member of the Church and don't fast when you're meant to, that's a sin which you get judged for and someone who doesn't know it's a fast day or about Catholic practices doesn't get judged on.

yessss goyim.. read the [[[Bible]]]... go on.. heh

>if you haven't heard of the Church, you aren't condemned to Hell.
Then stop fucking telling people about it. The most moral thing a Catholic could do would be to erase the memory of the Gospel from history in this scenario, thus saving countless otherwise-virtuous people from Hell.