You are too old to be eating ranch

When I smoked I much preferred the pipe to cigarettes. It's smoother and tastier, you have a comfy little ritual of stuffing and lighting it, different kinds of tobacco are radically different from one another... and I bet no cigarette smoker on the planet has ever been told by a non-smoker near him that his cigarette smells nice.
I was aware that some people probably thought I looked like a tryhard douche smoking that pipe and it pissed me off.

Still glad I quit, though.

Yeah, the classy thing to do is to drink it.

*you're

Tell me, Veeky Forums.

Are you man enough to open a can of biscuits?

Fuck off muscle boy

Cigs are usually made from cheap shit, paper, and glue. There's a ton of different tobaccos, including wild tobacco that has a shit-ton of nicotine and burns hotter. Longer pipes decrease the sting from an inexperienced smoker, and "sitters" can be laid down while playing games or otherwise socializing.

Cigarettes are for addicts and trash.

Sage

Yes, but they never pop anymore. I remember when I was kid, they must have been pressurized more. They used to pop quite dramatically, now I rip that label off and nothing happens. I have to slam it on the edge of the counter to get it to open.

What came first, ranch or cool ranch?

R-r-ranch?

Don't know about "ranch" but there's nothing wrong with MSG.

I'll stop when the fags who drink milk and eat cereal do.

>eat cereal
I munch on FMW when i play vidya, fuck you.

I bet you do, manchild.

This is the correct response.
That said, I hate bottled ranch dressing. Now, Ranch made from scratch is actually pretty good, as long as it's made with buttermilk. And when I say "from scratch", I don't mean the premade seasoning packet.
But, it can never top Green Goddess.

it's blue cheese or fuck your mother

What's the yuropoor equivalent to this?

Simmered pond water with a little sand to spice it up I think. What ever you guys dip dirt clots into.

The stoag is the most patrician.

because black people love it more than anyone else, and black people are not retarded, they simply don’t know any better and it’s actually our fault

Blue cheese is terrible on wings. I don't understand Northerners

I've seen a variant of it sold as "American sauce" but according to wikipedia:
>While popular in the United States and Canada, ranch dressing is virtually unknown in other parts of the world

>hates bleu cheese
>loves ranch
Know how I know you're retarded?

>actually spelling it "bleu cheese" like some sort of retard
>doesn't eat the superior sauce on his wings
You're not making your case any better, user.

Why do Americans like ranch dressing so much?

I worked in a kitchen for 10 years in Canada and only people from out west and Americans asked for ranch dressing often on the side of meals with no salad. One guy wanted it with his steak and fries and dipped both in it. We had tiny ramekin cups 1oz and 2oz, he had 4 2oz cups with his meal.

When I traveled to France I though it was a movie stereotype but yeah I've seen some american ask for ranch dressing in this old and wonderful cafe that's been around for 180 years. The all had plain pizzas with diet cokes. Obviously this is France and Pepsi is more rare than diamonds.

youtube.com/watch?v=frwR19QYu2g

user. Ranch is literally watered down bleu cheese.
The idea that you like ranch but hate bleucheese is so pants-on-head retarded I can't even help you.

It's a popular dipping sauce. There is, however, no excuse for asking for it in France of all places.

You sound like someone who likes to play their 3DS in public.

>2017
>falling for stale Veeky Forums b8

True.

But too many places even when I went to the south of France for the second week of my vacation in high end places like Nice and Monaco that serve Pizza and Pasta and not because they're close to italy. Surprisingly this is often for the Chinese tourists.

I'm actually and It wasn't meant to be bait, im a newfag to Veeky Forums and a forced transplant, why is bleucheese a meme here?

Ranch is just garlic sauce. Nearly everyone likes garlic. That being said I’m not crazy about ranch or condiments in general. People that have to slather all their food in a flavored sauce don’t like to eat actual food. They are just addicted to sugary/salty sauces. Whenever me and my buddy get sushi he has to dip all of it in spicy mayo. I’m not a faggot that lectures him on it but I’d be lying if i said it didn’t bother me knowing that he’s not even tasting the different seafood

>Ranch is literally watered down bleu cheese.
They have similar ingredients, sure. But I don't see how ranch is watered down. It's as thick as you make it.

>Ranch is literally watered down bleu cheese.
What?

French food is unpalatable, why not make it better?

Dude no, even the quality of basic take out food is on such a better tier you have no idea.

Because ranch is literally not a thing outside of the US and Canada. Asking for it is just ignorance. It's like when my mom tried to ask for a 10 inch pizza in Australia. They were confused.

Watered down in terms of flavor is im sure what user meant.
Obviously it is a gelatin that spreads across everything on a plate.

They were confused because your mom weighs 630 pounds and they expected her to order more food. Anyway what kind of sperg orders a 10 inch pizza? Do you order a 7 inch steak or a 5 inch hamburger?

If you eat ranch on wings then you're a pathetic tastelet, end of story

I didn't exactly phrase it correctly because I didn't expect an obsessed faggot like you to respond. We went to an Italian restaurant and she asked if their personal pizzas were around 10 inches in diameter. Which for obvious reasons is a dumb question outside of the US.

>It is a much smoother smoke

If your mom is dumb so are you, learn genetics

>vapes are just retarded
I stopped smoking using an e-cigarette and then stopped vaping, too. Go play in traffic.

F-fuck you

Ranch dressing was literally invented on a ranch, in California, back in the mid-century. It's popularity spread east and north after that. That's why only Americans and Canadians eat it.
But, like that other user said, I can't imagine the cringiness of someone trying to order ranch dressing in Europe, that's just ignorant.

I just eat straight mayo

It is ignorant because European food is crap. Rotten fish, moldy cheese, and 400 kinds of shitty sausages. Of course they don't have the good stuff

I know you can't afford the plane ticket over there, but there's no need to be so slanderous

You have babby taste if you don't like euro food. That basically means all you can taste is salt and corn syrup. You're not making a case for yourself.

>eating food so shit you have to drown it in cheese/dressing
Americans everyone. Eat better chicken.

I've been all over. German food is so bad I had to live off pretzels and ice cream from the gas stations

What the difference between Ranch and Caesar dressing?

Bullshit. If that story is even remotely true, you have such bad taste in food you shouldn't even be here.

Euro food is so bad that people recommend kebab which is often made from missing children

Ranch isn't made with egg and anchovies. And Caesar doesn't have buttermilk or the same herbs in it. They don't have much in common at all.

No it isn't. Blue cheese dressing is just ranch with less herbs, less buttermilk, and obviously the addition of blue cheese

I never tried Ranch so I wouldn't know, doesn't seems like I'm missing out tho lol

...

>or go fuck your mother

>not playing a portable handheld gaming device made specifically to be played when you're out and about.
It's like you aren't even trying shill.

Cool ranch, then after global warming it became Ranch

>Ranch is just garlic sauce
No it's not. Garlic is one of the ingredients, but it's not garlic sauce. Have you even tasted ranch dressing?

Why the fuck are people so concerned that ranch makes people fatties? I put a tablespoon of ranch dressing on my salad, it's about 70 to 100 calories at most, about the same as if I were to use an olive oil dressing. Why would ranch make you fat if you just have it on salads?

>because black people love it more than anyone else
No, I've never seen a basic bitch white girl get chicken anything without ranch.

Yes. It’s garlic and buttermilk. Get over it

>mother
Fuck off joey Diaz you 90% Flem scumbag

I am, in fact, old enough to eat whatever I goddamn please.

Is this just what Veeky Forums is now? A bunch of florid as hell trolling?

>posts about pipes in a ranch thread and accuses others of trying too hard at anything

auuuugh

I TURNED MYSELF INTO A PICKLE MORTY

I HAVE DONE THIS IN AN EFFORT TO AVOID THERAPY

The only correct response

stop buying into retarded memes you fucking clod; there's literally nothing wrong with MSG

ranch is mayo, buttermilk and seasoning

ranch is garlic sauce.

I'm old enough not to give a fuck what you think about my Ranch Dressing consumption.

You're a nigger is what you are

khalaBEEB

Yeah but women are the niggers of gender so there's that

Man, if that's what you call garlic sauce, aioli is going to blow your mind.

Its so much more than just garlic sauce, why are you so obtuse and thick headed? Get an education.