Fall hard for a girl

>fall hard for a girl
>find out she and her close friends are all privately educated with wealthy parents
>she shows some interest in me
>low self-esteem and self-sabotaging instincts kick in
>react by acting indifferent or with subtle hostility towards her
>she loses interest
>find out recently she has started dating a Jewish guy
>he makes at least twice as much as I do
>just found out his debut short story collection is being published next year

What legitimate reasons do I have not to end my life right hecking now?

Because life is as full of joy as it is sadness and there are so many things you can do that will make you feel good and happy and whole. I agree with you it's shit how the rich are published regardless of talent.
>reading Norton's PoMo anthology
>every author bio mentions them graduating from a college I'm too poor to even know exists

dont fall in love with rich people if youre not rich as well.
the issue will arise in some form or another.

True. My first wife divorced me because her parents threatened to withhold her trust fund if she didn't.

After meeting this girl I literally refuse to date a common girl from now on. Her style, elegance, intellect and natural beauty are literally not found among women of the lower orders unless you date someone who is 16 and mold them into that sort of person.

I see it happen all the time.
money and class are easy to deny but there is value in respecting the implications.

It sounds like you have completely internalized the propaganda of the ruling classes and turned it into self-loathing, enjoy your life of quiet desperation I guess?

you fucked up my man.
the things you like about her are basically synonymous with money. You might even wanna be ashamed of yourself for this kind of self-hating practice.

>Because life is as full of joy as it is sadness
not true by the way. there's a 3:2 sadness:joy ratio, i've calculated it

Because you must shitpost on /pol/ and /r9k/ to make the Jews pay.

being rich doesn't necesarilly make it easy to get published (unless youre disgustingly so).
The guy in OPs case probably has more to do with being jewish than anything else.

No user, being rich means your parents can afford to send you to private Veeky Forums elite colleges and going to those colleges helps you form connections with people who make it easy for you to get published.
Anyway
>/pol/ hates Jews
>still dick ride the rich ruling class
As usual. I think the Jews started the whole "it's the joos" thing so racists would be distracted from the means they actually employ to rule the world I.E. economic

I definitely am. Why do you think I made this thread? She was literally the girl I had been waiting for and I fucked up by not having my shit together and for attempting to disguise my inner turmoil with the external appearance of complete self-sufficiency. But realistically I don't think it would have worked out long-term anyway. I earn a shitty wage and unless I retrain (i.e. go back to college) I will never make enough to buy a nice house either in the city or in the comfy commuter belt, let alone have enough money to put any potential kid(s) through private education (which most of the privately educated folk I've met do eventually). So while it may have been likely that she and I may have enjoyed a cute fling between two sensitive young people, there was no long-term potential that I could see. At the time we met I was interviewing for new jobs, I was living in a shitty immigrant neighbourhood, and was pretty suicidal (still am though it's getting pathetic now). After she lost interest and I no longer saw her around I reached a point where I sincerely hoped for the best for her wherever she was. Then I found out she is dating this high-earning, privately educated dude who loves to travel, posts instagram photos of himself in various countries, is only like a year older than I am etc. and it made me feel sad as hell, as if I'd reached this mountaintop in life only to fail to reach the peak. Now I'm just tumbling back down again.

This is unironically the most cucked post I've ever had the displeasure to read.

Believe me, the elite school part is a correlation not a causation. They usually have those connections beforehand, hence why i mentioned the jews (connections are their specialty, which works hand-in-hand with their economic advantage).
just get out more and dont sweat it. there are a lot of girls. She wasn't for you and you know it.

You are shallow

Going back to what I said about the norton anthology, most of them aren't Jews. Capitalism is everything wrong about Jewishness, made systemic.

Kill yourself. This thread isn't about literature.

Sage in all fields.

How am I shallow? I am realistically assessing a situation wherein I would very likely have served only to threaten this girl's long-term socio-economic status, one her parents presumably worked hard to achieve. I have no social life and am probably autistic, which also don't bode well for my own socio-economic status, which is currently mediocre at best. I do value the idea of love and think it can transcend a lot of things, but my research has shown that among the privately educated and generally upper-middle or upper class people I am acquainted with the vast majority either date or are married to people from that same background.

sure, yeah but you gotta understand that jews are most likely to prosper under capitalism. They may not be the majority but they have an upper-hand.

You can put sage in the name field too normie.

just work on yourself and marry a nice foreign girl (she'll likely be poorer than you).
A lot of people do this.

You're shallow because you are unable or unwilling to look beyond the contingent aspects of a person. In my opinion you hate yourself and you have fashioned an idol out of everything you think you are not. Take this time to look at yourself and others more deeply, basically look, listen and restrain the impulse to impose your assumptions onto what you see and hear.

>subtle hostility towards her
I know that feel. It's so sweet the moment you take it out on someone who likes you. Afterward it's terrible. I think I want to emotionally hurt the people who like me desu

Right so why do so many racists think they can take this system which is designed to give advantages to a parasitic minority and turn it into something that works? You can't just kill the boss you've got to tear the whole factory down.

he's not gatsby you pleb.
I'm sure it's more complex than that.
He just likes nice things and didnt yet understand where the nice things came from.
I don't think it's real self-hate so much as general misunderstanding.

It's because you think of yourself as a fraud and inherently bad so you feel like anyone who likes you is a fool or also inherently bad. Basic assumptions that are dysfunctional can be changed but it takes a definite effort to do so.

because most people are just jealous of the jews. They would like to just take thier place.
I'm sure you know, but there's a reason why they figured this system out and even why they've been at the forefront of alternative systems. They get it.

He doesn't see what is nice in himself and he objectifies others in order to consume what he wishes he had. Consumption may work for nutritional needs but not emotional ones.

>am probably autistic

Most likely. For infatuation to happen you have to be, to a varying degree correlating with the sexual market value of the girl in question, actually attractive.
So you come from a poor lowbrow background, you're autistically narrow minded, and your gratuitous verbosity oozes intellectual insecurity. No worry, that all can be fixed if you're ridiculously handsome, but I'm betting you aren't. So what is it that, precisely you, have to offer?

The difference in value is so grand you deserve to feel humiliated as a punishemnt for your narcissistic naivity.

P.S: to avoid further future heartache, learn your place in the world

t. zizek

>fall hard for a girl
Idealising a woman without actually knowing her is actually sexism m8.

I know it really bothers me and it's why I don't go to /pol/. Those people don't see the vital, romantic, life-affirming basis for "fascism", they only want it because they think it will make them into the Jewish elite. This is why it failed in the past, too many opportunistic fools.

>learn your place
If ever there was a slave morality, this would be its apotheosis

Mmm, yes, I've read that before. I think the only life I'd respect for myself would be a monastic one, sadly. It's a very strong sense of dislike I get when someone shows interest in me. It takes quite a bit of effort to keep under control before I lash out at them.

>Being jealous of a Jew
>Turn jealousy into self-hatred
Slave morality is quite strong itt

>goy btfo

A self is a relationship that relates to itself. Kierkegaard said that, and I don't know what it means. But, you must recognize how yourself is relating to itself and how that is defining the way you relate to what isn't yourself. If you turn to monasticism you will probably end up a heretic. user, I am reaching out person to person here. Please watch "Andrei Rublev" a film by Tarkovsky. Pay close attention to the character Cyril. If you already have the monastic impulse you'll enjoy the film right away. It is free to watch on YouTube iirc, but you can search for a stream of the criterion version which has better subtitles I think. What have you got to lose in watching one of the masterpieces of cinema?

>So what is it that, precisely you, have to offer?

This is literally what I was struggling to answer myself when I was thinking of smiling at her a bunch of times. I have no social circle, my family is a mess and I barely speak to my remaining family members, I have little romantic experience, I often succumb to a form of nihilistic apathy which I realize is extremely detrimental to my life and which really should either be remedied by suicide or in a huge sincerity-driven effort to subscribe to various ideologies which are likely to encourage me to be more financially successful, more sociable and outgoing, more healthy and mentally consistent, and more optimistic about the world and my place in it. But I don't, I simply crawl from my pit of despair and distract myself with delusional hopes and beliefs before I slip back down again. I realize it's pathetic so there is literally no need to shit on me any more than I already shit on myself. For example, when I first met her I was in a routine of eating the same thing every day, going to bed at like 9pm so that I could daydream and potentially have nice dreams to escape my reality, visiting suicide chatrooms and googling cringey shit like "i am too weak for this world". And yet due to my extremely repressive tendencies and self-awareness I was perfectly capable of conducting myself as if my life was in order and that I needed nothing anybody was willing to offer me. The more helpless I became the more self-sufficient I made myself out to be. And that chasm between my actual lived life and the life I wanted others to perceive me as living grew so wide that I felt I simply had no way of dropping my pretences and letting this girl actually find out how badly things were going for me. Admittedly I was quite handsome at the time, and was relatively familiar with the idea of girls finding me attractive. But this was after at least a decade of being a retarded looking faggot who drifted through formal education without making any significant impact on the lives of those around me. So it wasn't as if I felt my appearance to be somehow representative of me, and now a year and a half later my weariness and pseudo-resignation have contributed also to my physical decline in a way that makes me consciously avoid looking at my reflection at least 6 days out of 7.

Sounds more like you aren't datable because you are a massive sperg. Not that that isn't connected to you being poor.

KEKED
U
C
K
E
D

Honestly that self-loathing is the goal of almost all media content. Hitler's magic was in a lot of ways grounded in his ability to show common people the majesty in their lives. The real red pill is to see the power within and to pit that power in an existential struggle against all forces which do not serve it. To do so, as Nietzsche would, not with sullen determination but with Humor. To be a dancer.

jesus christ you just triggered my latent depression with that post.
thanks a lot.

All she saw in you was a willing vessel in which she could place her own self-aggrandizement. The rich in times past would sire bastards with commoners all the time. You were just a fuccboi to her and when she got bored she threw you out. Recognize that you've been wrong and stop defending your adversary

As I understand it, aspergers involves being incapable of comprehending basic social etiquette and subtle social hints such as facial expressions, intonations, tacit rules and so on. If anything I feel that I am at the extreme opposite of that spectrum, whereby I comprehend social etiquette so acutely that I actually go overboard and interpret additional non-existent hints and cues, to the point where I am paralysed by the immensity the social interaction comes to represent, and feel relieved only by the distant possibility that the exact means to reach the desired reward of this social interaction (talking to the girl and have her love me and be loved by me) may somehow come about if only I continue to interpret every minor detail of everything that happens when she and I are close by and when the perfect opportunity presents itself at some future moment, when I will have analysed things so carefully that I simply couldn't fail to spot said moment arriving.

You probably dodged a bullet honestly. When you 'fall hard' for a girl it's because you have an unrealistic idea of her

Seek Christ and become a catholic, you cuck.

Creating a fake super ego and inflating to such a degree that it forms a collection of values/ethics that you admire but are in fact completely contradictory to what you, really, at your core represent, is the easy way out, that nonetheless slowly destroys your life with each little lie, 'till you end up as a self-loathing alienated mess, too cowardly to end your existence but too scared to face the truth you've been hiding in yourself for years

So, on the +side, you couldn't really offer her anything my man. Only an illusion. Maybe that's what attracted you to her in the first place. A shared, glorified, mutual illusion.
Sooner rather than later it would have burst. . . And if you think you're suffering know, imagine the humilation of being revealed as a fraud

its called paralyzing anxiety

>interprets things in a suboptimal way
>believes this is somehow more accurate

>>she shows some interest in me
>>low self-esteem and self-sabotaging instincts kick in
>>react by acting indifferent or with subtle hostility towards her

I've done this every time a woman has ever shown interest. Wtf is wrong with me?

hey why don't you write some short stories of your own if you're so effing JEALOUS

a fellow sufferer i see
im probably going to have to take the 16y/o pill. protip: go to church and befriend old ladies. they want to marry off their nieces and grandkids

That's simply untrue. She is not the type of girl who would use the word "fuccboi". Although I realize I may sound dumb by claiming to know anything about her personality, there are a few things I know for certain and that's one of them.

I didn't fall hard because I thought she was the only girl who didn't defecate. I fell for her for the kind of reasons lovers fall for each other, which involves a lot of factors, some physical and others instinctive and so on. I do actually think that she believes she "dodged a bullet" by not making more of an effort to talk to me etc, and I'm sure others in her life may have heard her describe me and wonder why the hell she was wasting her time with such a weird loser.

Insecurity and narcissism, two sides of the same coin

How old are you?

But at least I'd have known I was a fraud. At least she would have potentially validated the repulsive aspects of my character and life as they pertain to finding a girlfriend at least. Instead I simply labor with further self-analysis and attempts to reach conclusions about this amorphous thing I call my Self.

Well if you look at how she actually treated you and then compare that with the idealization of her you have in mind you might see things differently. It's called "reality testing"

Too old for this not to be embarrassing at my age.

Just tell us, you insufferable faggot. No wonder your girl left you for a kike.

You create your own reasons not to end your life. If you look around at this world and see nothing worth your time, because it doesn't live up to whatever fantasy life you had with some bitch you hardly knew, then whatever you do is for the best. Just don't bother us expecting to share our reasons to live.

She didn't treat me badly at all. She was the one who initiated contact between us by approaching my desk, smiling and asking some lame question she could have asked any guy around me. Every minor effort she made to smile at me and engage me in conversation resulted in me feigning naivety as to her intentions and feelings. I admit now that she may have just found me interesting or briefly attractive, and that I'm not claiming she was rubbing herself against her bedpost every night while thinking of me. But I have had girls flirt with me before and this was even more obvious than what they did.

No one except yourself can save you

You're insincere because you are afraid. Love doesn't ease fear, if anything it makes you more susceptible to it if you aren't true to yourself

She wouldn't have been some devine intervention that saved you from yourself. It would have been a long and painful game of hide and seek

>seduces you
>cucks you with a richer man
If someone had intentionally devised a strategy to make you hate yourself it could not have been better than the way she treated you. Stop bootlicking for chrissakes.

I appreciate this post.

>All this autism

>tfw I considered leaving her a Valentine's Day card from her "Secret(ive) Admirer"

>Wtf is wrong with me?

You're dishonest to yourself and other people by suppressing your desires. Maybe you're shy of risks. I don't know the solution yet.