Write what's on your mind

Meditation is something special. I've had awful workplace anxiety lately, to the point that I start shaking and my movements become unnatural and erratic, but it's helping. Sometimes all it needs is a deep breath, but there are a few other things that seem to help out a lot. For instance, whenever I get wrapped up in my emotions and start to panic, I try to picture the scene from above like I'm having an out-of-body experience, and for some reason it's immediately effective. Another trick is to imagine the most relaxed people that you're familiar with, and try to see things from their perspective. The last one is to imagine the peace that naturally inhabits the empty space all things are taking place in, so that you realize the problems around you are temporary.

They're not perfect or anything, but they help a bit. From the small glimpse of it that I've had, anxiety is a special sort of hell. Every moment was unbearable, and any attempt to help it with normal means just made it several times worse. That's one of the curious things about mental illness - you can experience something straight out of a nightmare, and write pages upon pages describing it, but no one will care because it's not a reality for them. That's not a bad or selfish reaction, either. It's just strange.

attention all girls of Veeky Forums:

please respond to this post. i need practice talking to women. i WILL respond tomorrow morning. thank you.

you don't understand, i sthagel write anething wthout spech-to-text. This is me tiping wthout dictesen srftwire. It's so enbarasng I can't even toraret it in my notes. this is beond the help of spell-chek, it's elitterse.

^when I try to harness the written word under my own power.

I used to read a lot of literature, but so far this year I've read a lot more non-fiction.

Finding it hard to get into a story. Not sure if I just need to slow things down or if it's a phase or what.

also, I think I am a genuinely bad person. I'm not sure how to fix it though... Not in a typical "degenerate" sense, but more in a deceit and manipulation kind of way. I feel as if I have an influence over people, but it's hard to explain. I swear I don't even do it consciously, it's just the way I passively interact with people. I suspect I may be a sociopath or a psychopath but I'm not sure because I don't do criminal things and I do feel bad for doing certain things.

protip: that's a terrible conversational gambit.

What certain kind of things you do that makes you think you are genuinely a bad person?

those who have not been torn have no value in themselves. the broken are more evolved.
just watched split. that mcavoy is a great actor.

Like I said I can be very manipulative but to what end I have no clue. I wear people down and chip away at their self esteem. And when they get upset I have to do my best not to laugh in their face. Maybe it's antisocial personality disorder but I've known for a long time that something is wrong with me. Being a bad person is just a symptom I think

>they'll say it's to stop pedos, but it will really be to stop the alt-right, and Veeky Forums will go down as collateral damage, namefag forums are bad enough, real name verified id forums will really fucking suck
Spend 15 minutes on FB and you will know most people have no problems saying dumb shit online under their own names

The power puff reboot was a disaster, but samurai Jack season 5 was pretty good. At first I was upset at the finale, but after sitting on it a bit, it's sad but kinda hopeful. There is no more friends and the majority of Jack's life was spent protecting something that he only knew when he was 6 years old. So it's a sorta the right way to end it.

I still think bearded jack with armor is too cool to be only in the first bit. My personal addition to the finale would be jack wearing armour regrowing a beard patrolling his kingdom for evil, but finding nothing, before he realised he can't go back and has to move on to a normal life.

I miss you so much. What should I do?

I feel trapped

Im starting to fall for someone i have never seen in real life and just talk for years on the internet.

youtube.com/watch?v=qFLK3bdyqEk

can someone ID the track that comes in at 4:30 that goes like "it's gucci!" and no it's not gucci maine, he used that sample, but i think this dude has the original, also this shit is gay as fuck so hopefully it will trigger some uptight alt-right hillbillies

>it's the wind
>yeah, yeah, word
>it's the air
>it feel, it feel hot at night n shit, but the sun ain't even out

it's 3am and its hot as shit with the air conditioner on, man fuck the north east, goes from cold as shit to desert hot every three months, too bad all those fucking nerds drove up the cost of sf to more than nyc

What should I type into this text box hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

oh shit 3am est, let's see what today's audible "daily deal" is, plz be lit or ttc, no genre fic

How do I read without becoming distracted?

it's too fucking hot to sleep, i'm just going to lay in bed listening to some comfy audiobook with the lights off and hope to doze off

>The Blackwell Companion to the Bible in English Literature

confirmed comfy

10$ to talk for an hour
50$ for tits
70$ face + tits
100$ cam show

Gallic gay dick Mary Moses, Son of Jon, named Mary after getting caught with a horses cock in the grip of his hands and his father, what a man, grabbed his son and beat the living shit out of him and say him down and said
-if ever I see Mary Moses again I will do do what could not by Abraham.
And so Mary Moses took his name with no shame traveling from beer tavern to church steps leaving a trail of stranger smiles as he past the windows and citizens of garlic new towns often what he revived was little more than a frown, Mary Moses, the gay galic.

I will turn 25 in a few days and it occurred to me that my life so far has been a long a painful series of missed opportunities caused by my own cowardice and sloth.

same tbqh pham

>Hey, stop doing this thing!

>Alright, I'll stop doing this thing if you agree to do this other reasonable minor thing in return

>No, stop doing that anyway though

>Well, no. Why would I, you are completely unwilling to reciprocate?

>LACAN BRUH

Why would I pay for tits when there are so many people making right tits of themselves in this thread?

i dont usually post on here. however i wanted to express how i cant believe some of you are real people... so silly and foolish. im not even mad, it just kind of scares me.

Sorry about that user, wish I could help.

Starting to think I might just study philosophy and literature to justify my failures. From a simpler point of view, intrinsically speaking, my life is a train wreck and I should be deeply depressed. Somehow though, I've convinced myself that in the end all matters are more or less superfluous and to not dwell on it. I feel like this is unhealthy but I can't bring myself to care anymore.

I wish I were more literate and articulate. I need to work on conveying complex ideas in speech with a sophisticated smoothness that to readers/listeners helps their thoughts flow akin to mine. I feel as if mastering this skill will degrade any walls between the medium of information sharing and the 'audience".

Or I'm just fucking stupid

I want to fuck Buttercup.

passed 25 two months ago.

same

you really think so?

$0 for a (you) ;)

Internet maintenance workers are utter scum.

Malice is the only origin, lifeblood, and possible result of all work.

I'd rather die a virgin than ever being vulnerable to the risk of being cheated on.

God the Father is the Demiurge. All Master-Slave Dialectic diverges from him and converges in him. The culminating absurdity being that the allegedly redemptive thing and the alleged cause of abjection and the subsequent need for redemption are one and the same. A Cosmic "arbeit macht frei". And most importantly, there is nothing worth even a single spin of the wheel, to claim otherwise is to allow and partake in ultimate suffering. Pleroma itself is irredeemable were it dependent on such abomination.

I've developed a stress related shortness of breath because, I suppose, I never feel any relief from my anxiety. I went to see my psychologist today, and I was sitting in the lobby of the building. A security officer steps through the front door and tells me that I can't sit there, although I contested that I was waiting for an appointment. He told me that he's a security officer and that I can't sit there, like there was some sort of important function in telling people they can't sit on a fucking bench, which apparently has no purpose, in the lobby of a building.

I hate this city that I live in. In order to get to the building where my psychologist is, on the main street of my town, I have to walk past parking lots and look at the back of stores. The street is crowded with miserable looking suburbanites. I hate looking at them, I hate walking past them, I hate that there's not a single natural thing growing about except for trees planted on lawns.

I disgust myself, every moment of the day there's something negative going through my mind. Something that makes me feel stupid. Something that makes me resent an action I took, no matter how small. Because that's the sort of scrutiny you face, in the eyes of another person. Other people are always looking for order, they're always looking for you to behave in a way that conforms with their expectations. Don't go outside of the expectations of others, it will leave you miserable, and looking back at your actions wondering what the fuck you were even doing.

I keep imagining that there's something better for me in this world. If only I was born in one of those sophisticated looking European countries, or even a nicer part of the USA. Maybe my life wouldn't have turned out like this high tension, miserable, lonely hate filled excursion that it has been.

I hate those people on the side walks of my city. I hate them and their ugliness, the paranoia that I feel just walking around them; what if that person is the sort of moron who believes in god, votes for donald trump, or works some menial labor job without any notion of what it means to live but to live pay check to pay check. I see so many people who are just ugly and miserable looking. Then there's the kids, walking down the street with their friends. I can almost sense their conceitedness. Somehow they've managed to break the code of communication, and engage with other people their own age. This enigma of nature reminds me of writhing spiders or squids, slimy, in a hole.

Poor little low self-awareness baby. I mean, that's literally what your issue is; I'm not just saying that disparagingly or with levity. Now shoo shoo lil Berncuck.

>TRUUUUMP
stopped reading there

You voted for the guy who denies global warming. We're the only country on earth who didn't sign the Paris agreement, except for one which said the agreement didn't go far enough. You're the bitch of oil executives, who spread propaganda for short term gains. People like you disgust me through the very nerve fibers that send signals to my skin. I hate you. You are cancer. Please just die, in all due respect. I only mean that in the most respectful of ways. You should realize that you are cancer.

>writes a 'waaaah woe is me' wall of text better suited for /r9k/
>calls other people cancer
Fresh off the boat from reddit, kid? Heh, I remember when I was like you. Braindead.

>implying I'm even an amerishart

Nice rock solid defense of your emotions through that swearing.

A foreigner who loves Donald Trump. That is pretty funny. It reminds me of those pictures of japanese people wearing shirts with american words on them, that have no idea their shirt says "fuck you cunt" written on it.

Due to an instinctive demand to stay alone i feel i've finally found how I am to live. Now, the concept of living life like a work of art is no longer something that seems like trivial '2 deep' shit.

Like neech, jung and kierk seem to say, it's about courageously facing up to what you know you ought to do. For so long that meant nothing to me. The sense was that there was no 'ought to do'.
Now finally there is, I sincerely feel i have the capacity to meet the existential challenge in a way that very few have.

Unlike most, who are still floundering in the possible, I know what to do, I even have evidence from personal experience that it is the right thing for me. The sense of life going from gloomy and miserable to meaningful and at times hyper-abundant is a transition I've experienced by having faced up, with courage, to this lifelong task. And yet, I still don't do it. And i don't know why

Kek

Where did he say he likes Trump?

You, you're just a retard. You don't belong here.

You're not very smart, are you. He said that he stopped reading when I criticized Donald Trump. People usually get defensive when others attack people or ideas they like.

Or maybe he's just like any sensible person and is sick of hearing wackos like you whine about Trump all the time.

He's possibly the worst president in American history, but I guess it doesn't matter because of your stupid rules. Go fucking kill yourself you conceited jackass. The world doesn't revolve around you.

I don't care about Trump, it's just tiresome how every single faggot bitches about him every 5 seconds, you are like a drone.

I listen to a lot of Noam Chomsky lectures, so I have my not a drone card in order.

Just say it is like post-modern or some shit.
Like it means something or some shit.
Make it a redrave against Madern Eddjukachon.
Are you poor or brown?
You could probably get your dick sucked with that shit?

Your actions say otherwise, go drone on about politics somewhere else.

Veeky Forums is shit

peace out

I just said that I like trump, and you take that as some big offence. Perhaps you're the SJW clown.

dislike trump*

what's on your mind

All the writing and reading I've ever done is mere escapism from how shitty of a person I am. I have no real talent, no quality, and I'm not particularly smart. I've spent the last year or so smoking weed and playing video games, avoiding my insecurities. I haven't read a single book in that time. I was going to type something erudite and face value pretty out while checking google definitions to make sure I was using the big words right but I'm now just writing this instead. I think I'm going to steal some crown royal from my grandpa and drink soon.

Resentment

The building is burning, the building is burning! Help! Escape, away! Don't you want to survive?

Oh, you poor soul. You're trapped in this burning room with me, and if I were alive I would seek refuge. Alas, I'm already dead, and you share the room with a ghost.

>All the writing and reading I've ever done is mere escapism from how shitty of a person I am. I have no real talent, no quality, and I'm not particularly smart. I've spent the last year or so smoking weed and playing video games, avoiding my insecurities. I haven't read a single book in that time. I was going to type something erudite and face value pretty out while checking google definitions to make sure I was using the big words right but I'm now just writing this instead. I think I'm going to steal some crown royal from my grandpa and drink soon.

you sound really young. shit's a process and you are definitely going to have to deal with some shit in the upcoming time but you've got it in you to do good.

here's some tips i've learned along the way, maybe they'll help:

1. make your expectations realistic, you're not gonna win a nobel
2. no vidya
3. spend time outside
4. cultivate, whenever or however you can, friends that share the same interests as you
5. save time for things that make you genuinely happy. happiness is underrated.

you'll be okay user. you won't be the greatest but you can do a good job, and that's perfect.

I have failed at so many things that I no longer believe success is possible. I've fallen into a sort of learned helplessness where everything seems pointless and doomed to failure.

The only thing that will improve my life is sincere, sustained effort towards a goal, but I am unable to do so. This realization simply increases my self loathing, driving me deeper into a hole.

Help.

Shaking like a dog shitting razorblades. Waking up next to nothing after dreaming of you and me. Im waking up all alone. While youre taking your time with apologies im planning out my revenge. Red eyes on orange horizon. If columbus was wrong i'd drive straight off the edge. Ive got a big fat fucking bone to pick with you my darling. In case you havent heard im sick. Im tired of trying. I wish you would take my radio to bathe with you, plugged in and ready to fall.

I'm reading about a college student getting suspended from UCF for posting his ex girlfriend's apology letter on his twitter page. He graded it like a paper, using red ink and complaining about formatting, stuff like that. Apparently he got out of the suspension by hiring some lawyers that shlocked up some first amendment bullshit -- and I quote his facebook -- "As most of you know, I graded an apology letter written to me, then proceeded to post it on twitter, where many people then saw it and reacted to it. Since that time, UCF then decided to suspend me for an entire semester with additional punishments added on top. It has caused much stress for my family and myself, this also violates my 1st amendment right to freedom of expression, no matter who agrees or disagrees with it. As a result, I am sharing this story to alert everyone, including the 60k+ students of UCF, that our school is deciding what posts they like and dislike; We should all be scared and stand-up to this type of action! Please write to UCF or share this post to allow freedom of expression for all students!"

God I love this country.

>people call you a loser/loner/beta

>they hack your fucking phone and computer making it impossible to do anything without them ruining it

my god I hate roommates

Huh, haven't heard about that. An ex-girlfriend's apology letter? Doesn't sound real to me. Nah, doesn't check out. If she wrote it, she was being sarcastic I'm sure.

complex.com/life/2017/07/college-student-suspended-for-grading-ex-girlfriend-apology-letter-sharing-it-twitter

Seems pretty real to me. His twitter is even in the shitty article itself, with the very post pinned to the top.

Self-pitying faggot. Pathetic.

Fuck being a wagecuck

john mccain has brain cancer, finally that horrible little man is going to go away after a vile life of privilege, let's see if the conservatives joke about his death the same way the did about kennedy (i don't care, but hypocrisy is always a bad look)

>I've fallen into a sort of learned helplessness where everything seems pointless and doomed to failure.

so you've become a buddhist? fuck that shit u need jesus

Buddhist? What? No. I desire all sorts of shit. Also I'm spiritually dead inside.

i just meant buddhism is "learned helplessness: the ideology"

What I feel seems more like nihilism, or extreme pessimism.

All Catholics are called to be saints.

I am afraid

>Are you poor or brown?
I'm a white cisgendered male but I have autism. Would that help?
The problem is I have a Nietzsche like worldview in which my deficit in writing ability is a deficit in humanity. Normies tell me I need to accept it but I see it as something that I must overcome before I deserve to live or be loved.

>He's possibly the worst president in American history,
that would be Obama. Bankrupted the country by continuing Bush's warmongering and introducing socialist garbage. He created the power of vacuum that led to Isis. regardless of his birth certificate, he is a Kenyan communist at heart. Dinesh D'Souza has a book and documentary detailing this. list of all is a possibility that he may have deliberately try to weaken America which would definitely be an impeachable offense (you liberals can cry all you want, you never impeach Trump.) Not that I think it could be proven either way.

lol

If by 'conservatives' you mean /pol/ then they also hate McCain.

by conservatives i mean teaparty fags not alt-right frogposters

i wish i wasn't poor and could get the healthcare i need. i wish assisted euthanasia was legal but i probably couldn't afford that either

I kind of like the style of it. Kind of gives off an innocent, naive vibe.

If you manage to give worthwhile messages, even if written like shit, will touch people. Spelling like shit may even be something that calls the attention of other people.

What's your situation?

see

Involved with a project at work
I'm lead
Another senior manager steps in fucks up and I took all the blame with the clients
Meeting today. He is nowhere to be found :)

Fuck him. But desu this has taught me more about life with dealing with this guy.. he changed my project to how he likes or wants it to work and it turns out it didn't work and he didn't let anyone know I took the blame and actually laid on the sword just to make the client happy but it's funny since it might not work and I will have to be the one to clean everything up.....

I'm looking for a job that fits around my schedule but I can't find one, and the ones that I do no one gets back to me for. Not even a rejection email.

How would I get a writing job online with an actual employer? Not some bullshit gig retardation from fiverr or some shit.

I guess I will say a little more since I accidentally used one of my Akko pictures.

I appreciate the kind words but, as I said in the post I linked, my values are such that I cannot tolerate my poor spelling.
I often feel very motivated to write while in public. Either notes on my phone or I want to take my laptop to my coffee shop because the atmosphere keeps me focused on writing. Aside from dictating everything being embarrassing for me I don't wish to broadcast everything I'm writing to everyone around me. Especially if I decide to write edgy material.

I thought about just wing it and correcting all the misspellings leader but I feel like I would just create another layer of work to do. An extra labor that would waste even more time then correcting the output of speech dictation software.
I should just great and bear it for my notes since I don't intend them to be read by anybody.

Furthermore I also don't wish to come off "naive" childish or otherwise appear under age when I'm on Veeky Forums or IRC.

I moved out recently. I felt I was losing myself, going into my twenties without having any purpose or any responsibilities or any reason to leave my house. Living with mom's obviously a cozy life, but the situation was becoming increasingly overbearing, and I could feel myself being strangled developmentally. I'm now 21 and I still feel like a child. I've been coddled all my life, and now I'm a loser. Occasionally I try though. I hung out recently with someone I used to be friends with in highschool. He told me he ran into my ex and their discussion involved me at one point. Their conversation was pretty casual but after I had pressed him for details he hazily came to admit that they didn't spend long discussing me but that they had both agreed on at least one thing: That I'm a great guy or a good person or whatever, but that I'm a fucking downer to be around and I'm always Just So Negative. Which, admittedly is something I know and used to spend a lot of time beating myself up over, something that I had cause to suspect was the reason why people don't really trip over themselves to spend time with me anymore. But like, really, what can I do about my temperament? Just cheer up? Is that what I'm supposed to do? My life is shit, you guys aren't that interesting, and I'm expected to just go out and paint a smile upon myself and Have A Good Time? And that will just Make Things Better?

What's the point of Good Times if the second you get home the hollowness is there, returning immediately, waiting to drown you and you're left with little more than a receipt detailing your unnecessarily expensive bar tab, and a head-splitting headache. And what's worse is the loneliness, I only have one (real?) friend right now. Yeah we used to be close, and at one point we may have been best friends, but guy, despite our efforts we were at odds after our first drink. Our conversation was less a catch up than a subliminal oneupsmanship competition. Fakeness, wasn't it? Hostility hidden beneath smiles, how insincere we were. Everything about it was useless.

Why am I so conceited. Why are you so condescending. Why is it so easy to just be sad?

Is isolation really that comforting?

I know you think of suicide too, and if you did it it would be sad, but it wouldn't be tragic. You don't mean much to the people around you and truthfully, I can acknowledge the same about myself. You and I are awfully similar, but I won't go on to romanticize our relationship like you'd like to. You used to be a smart guy, and a fascinating conversationalist, but now all you do is drink proselytize your shallow brand of solipsistic spirituality with lackadaisical coherence and circular logic and a holier than thou smugness that does nothing but betray your disintegrating wit. I wish I could be your friend and maybe we could still be if we weren't such assholes to eachother, but you've sunk lower than I have, and I won't let you bring me with you