*heavy breathing*

you have to go back.

>they will be pure shit read by adult minds without nostalgia and she will be revealed to be the worthless hack whore she always was
seriously though I can't wait to dive back into the magical world

>didn't sell at all until she threw away her pseudonym and revealed she was the author.
As terrible as she is, that could have happened to any author.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Gas

I believe that, being so rich that she literally doesn't ever have to worry about money ever again, when jk Rowling writes something in the universe she's created it's because she's just really in love with it and loves that so many other people love it, too

I know, I'm angry about this too user

to kill myself. Damn street signs

That is a GOOD pic

I really really like this meme

I hope so. Someone needs to give Trump a good lampooning.

...

...

...

The New Harry Potter's name will be Harry Nigger and he will fight the fight supremacists

...

how much intergalactic intersectionalism will be artificially injected into this and how shit will it be? who will be blamed when it flops?

Harry Potter and why I write such good books

Haram Potter and the Refugee Crisis

Where did this meme come from?

>we're entering the age where you will be able to view and analyse the effects of twitter conversations on an author's works

She should get into politics/activism. Just screaming 'Hurrmionay is black!' will get her all the support she needs.

her twitter is already a virtue signalling fest

Yeah, couldn't possibly be that she's addicted to fame. Never happens to anyone.

That's a very charitable way of saying 'one trick pony is so desperate for attention that she digs up her old trick'.

It's like a dried up musician making a 'come back'. Pathetic.

Old people need to go.

If you were born in 2000 I could understand you thinking that

Animorphs were the shit. And Orson Scott Card did the whole "special kid goes to special school to save the world" schtick 15 years earlier with Ender's Game. The book also predicted social media, somehow.

tumblr, literally, and its years old
anyone who posts/laughs at that shit should make themselves an exit bag

If I was a billionaire I'd play video games all day.

the demon headmaster, nigga

Video games are the lowest form of entertainment to keep us proles occupied, being rich opens up so many doors.
Also there are few good video games anyway, you'll get bored after a month.

It would be nice if she used these books to define her world a bit more. Its all bells and whistles without any foundation to why things work. Why do dead headmasters show up in the pictures? Who makes all the gadgets everyone has? How do different wands change the castings of the same spell? Stuff like that.

I would like to see a detective show featuring the partnership of Neville and Luna Lovegood:he would be the Sherlock running about getting into scrapes and scraps,while she would be a combination of Mycroft and James Bond's Q,keeping him supplied with intel and gadgets,explaining the "science" of spellwork and the world they inhabit.

What sort of interesting stuff do the rich do according to you?

It would be nice if she used her handwritten texts for kindling of furnaces

Donald PUMP (pump is fart in britbong but also it means to pump a dick into ass)

good satire

patriarchy

>when it flops
>he thinks muh nostalgia normies have standards

I would go to philanthropy events but in my pyjamas while all the other people are in expensive ball gowns

like i'd fit in with the saudi princes those spicy people wear white pyjamas all the time

I want to put my dick in Luna Lovegood at least once.

>pump is fart in britbong
except it isn't, never heard that phrase used in my life

It is in Yorkshire. We also say pump in reference to plimsolls.

For a young man in the 21st century, J.K. Rowling embodies just about everything that he hates about his own mother, but can't outright say to her. An aging neoliberal single mother with an inflated sense of self-importance using twitter to cope with her increasing irrelevance. The sort of woman who hasn't seriously thought about any of her opinions, but feels the need to push them on to others and condescend to anybody who might think differently.

She is an archetype. Neither insightful nor funny nor controversial. She is a consummate mediocrity basking in the praise of similar mediocrities the world over who have projected their own aspirations on to her, satisfied that somebody like them is a billionaire. Her Christianity is an accessory. She takes everything that she's been taught by public school and daytime television and fashions a god out of it.

She conceives of public affairs in the nebulous terms of "love" and "hate". The fact that an action might fall outside of either of these two categories, or that something she deems "hateful" might in fact be the wiser choice has not occurred to her. Despite this, she is shockingly easy to bait into a bitter, spiteful rage. Furthermore, her generosity only extends as far as her personal comfort. At the end of the day, it's little more than virtue signalling and if social opinion undergoes some vast sweeping change then she'll fall in line.

In many ways, she's already missed the boat. Her brand of comfortable feminism has already fallen out of style. She just doesn't know it yet. The second wave man-hating sexual phobia that sees rape everywhere. Its frigidity is evident in her writing. Then the bizarre merger with proud slut queer positivity. The post-hoc declarations of characters' sexual proclivities. The rationalization of racial retconning. It's like she discovered a Harry Potter fan tumblr, followed a couple links, and incorporated whatever she saw, resulting in an incoherent schizophrenic worldview. That's probably exactly what happened.

Her name is fucking Joanne. Need I say more?

And one more thing. She has a surprisingly nice pair of tits that I'd really like to suck on.

She looks a lot like my own mother, but with nicer hair and way nicer tits. In fact, she's basically a more attractive version of my mother, which is great since the only thing that really held me back from fantasizing about my own mother is that she just wasn't good looking enough.

Rowling really seems like the kind of woman who'd suck her teenage son's dick. I mean it.

She gets back from le ebin GIRLS NIGHT OUT XD!!! Plastered out of her mind from sipping too much shiraz or perhaps pinot grigio. Maybe she and THE GIRLS even passed around a blunt at Samantha's house. I always find it funny when Gen X women think they're being SO BAD smoking weed. Mouth full of the most expensive cheese available at Tesco and whatever crackers Georgia had to get rid of. She's cackling with laughter and sobbing as she lurches in through the front door. She has zero self-awareness when it comes to her emotions, but defends them with religious fervor.

Clumsily, she makes her way toward the living room where her son is playing video games. She sits down on his lap, suffocating him with her embrace and exhaling the stinking fumes of cheap wine right into his face. For a couple minutes, she rants about what a BITCH Leslie at the office is, before muttering the he's the only on who understands her. Briefly, she looks into his eyes, trembling all over. Then she locks her mouth with his and begins to kiss him passionately. At first he is paralyzed, but his mom is kind of hot and he'll probably never have another chance like this. He's thought about it before. He kisses back and before long she's between his legs, pawing at his penis like the cats she collects. She takes it in her mouth and sucks it like she's back in college. She's STILL GOT IT.

The next morning, she pretends not to remember anything, but blames him for the incident, finding subtle ways to punish him.

If you made yourself a billionaire you wouldn't be the type of person that could play video games all day.

>tfw J K Rowling will never dress you up in a onesie, give you a hand job then squeeze your dick closed and call you a bad boy when you start to cum

>Yorkshire
Rural and suburban retards. You lot probably would have voted for Trump if you could.

Please stop over-posting your own pasta, it won't catch on, user

Guy who actually wrote the pasta here. I've only ever posted it twice: yesterday and about a month ago. When I post it, I always start my own thread and use two specific images with recognizable filenames. I probably won't post it again for another month.

Everyone else is an imitator.

Will it include black wizards with disabilities?

Traveling, sports, hobbies.

if you were a wizard and disabled why wouldnt you use magic to cure yourself of shitty leg syndrome or something

also if you were black and a wizard wouldnt you scare yourself

This was a really lazy and unfunny pasta user, for shame

It seems you don't know people like Notch, or how inheritance works.

Will Hermione finally be revealed to be black?

That's just "what I would do if I were a billionaire" for average, boring normies.

How so?

Everyone has "hobbies", everyone can do sports. You think you'd still be interested in seeing the world after you've made a fortune as an actor, enterpreneur or athlete, who all travel the world as part of their job? Maybe you'd travel to millionaire hotspots but only because nowhere else you can blow 100,000$ in a single dinner.

The thing is that money is no longer a restricting factor when it comes to hobbies for rich people, they can go skiing, flying and lots of other things as they wish.
Traveling for me would consume a significant amount of my wealth.

>everyone can do sports
I think he is referring to extreme sports, which not everyone can afford or find the time to do. I sure as fuck can't and I assume a British woman on welfare couldn't either until you get that few million.

>who all travel the world as part of their job
Is J.K. Rowling or the user posting an entrepreneur, athlete or actor who does have a job like that?

And t answer your question yes, of course you would be interested in travelling and seeing more of the world, the fuck is wrong with you?

So JK Rowling is doing extreme sports now? She doesn't look like it. I don't think lack of money stops people in general from pursuing thrill-seeking activities, you need a certain character for that.
>Is J.K. Rowling or the user posting an entrepreneur, athlete or actor who does have a job like that?
No, but he answered to a general question about rich people (self-made, I assume), not about Rowling. I don't think a significant portion of super-rich are authors.
>And t answer your question yes, of course you would be interested in travelling and seeing more of the world, the fuck is wrong with you?
I'm not so sure about that. Besides having seen much of the world already, rich people have no real reason to get away from stress at home and in turn cannot travel without a certain amount of security measures, which influence the experience. Also traveling as an activity is different from going on holiday twice a year for 2 weeks, you also need a certain character to be interested in seeing the world to this degree.

So billionaires should just sit at home and play video games?

Well you can throw huge cocaine parties in your Beverly Hills mansion like certain actors, buy a hundred Ferraris with gold rims like certain black people or just sit on your money, continuing to expand your enterprise or build your legacy like the very richest seem to do.

So basically the middle class gapyear kid lifestyle?

Boring.

>enjoying your hobbies and traveling to your heart's content while eating at the finest restaurants is boring

I bet you're Jewish

Travelling is a nuisance, 'finest restaurants' serve literal poison and the best hobbies don't cost a lot of money.

It's obvious that Rowling's bank when under five billion dollars and she's trying to get it back up again

So basically everything is crap and we should all be antinatalists. Okay got it

>being such a shit writer you don't even provide a detailed visual of a main character over the course of books

Basically a simple life of modest pleasures, health and community is more gratifying than jetsetting and experience consumerism.

Woah, easy on the hypocrisy Bugs

I wasn't being sarcastic :^)

This but unironically

>everything is crap and we should all be antinatalists
I'm with this lad

>Rowling's attempt to be a 'serious' novelist, didn't sell at all until she threw away her pseudonym and revealed she was the author.

To be fair, she did not want her authorship revealed. It was a legal firm that put the clues together and figured it out. That said, it's true that, outside of the her brand, she wasn't selling well.

Veeky Forums can't be billionaires, drug addicted bohemians don't know how to manage money.

If I were Jewish, my mom's tits would be bigger

"Real writers" are notoriously bad with money. It's practically a requirement to be shit with money if you're a writer. It's even more common than being an alcoholic.