Bookstore stories thread

>walk into B&N with large sizes hot coffee, just bought it
>smile at the security guard as I walk in, he smiles back
>in the fiction section, back of the store
>dozens of copies of a new book are lined up on the floor, spine in so i can't see what book it is
>bend over to pick one up
>as I bend over my coffee spills all over about a dozen of the books, basically ruining them, I estimate $250-$300 in damages
>I look up for a security camera to make sure they didn't get my face but when I see one I freeze and stare at it for 10 seconds like a fucking deer in the headlights
>I place my coffee cup on a shelf and casually walk out
>I hear an employee in the back of the store yell "jesus fucking christ!"
>security guard smiles at me as I leave, I smile back
>tfw the coffee cup i left had my easily searchable unique first name and last initial on it

another time:
>walk into B&N bathroom
>record pic related

another time:
>walk into B&N
>copies of some Hidden Figures movie-based books are on sale, front of the store
>i pick one up, turn it around, hock a giant loogie on the back cover, and put it on the top of the stack display, so it's the first one someone picks up
>walk out

>i'm so uninteresting that i literally copy and paste boring stories to start useless threads on Veeky Forums in the hopes of farming more boring stories to copy and paste at some future date

>walk into B&N on the hottest day of the year after a long day
>in the bathroom, wipe my gooch/taint/thigh-pit sludge all over my hands
>NOT wash my hands
>straight from the bathroom i touch every health book in the store

>walk into waterstones/B&N or whatever
>look at all the nice new books
>find interesting book
>take a picture of it
>buy it cheaper later on amazon marketplace

you've all done it

>Walk into B&N
>Grab Communist Manifesto
>Go to Sci-Fi section
>Place book sideways in front of 3 or 4 books
>Grab Atlas Shrugged
>Go to Politics section
>Plave book sideways in fron of 3 or 4 books

Hope you are proud of me Ayn.

>walk into local bookstore
>see a good book I wish I had
>put it inside my pants
>leave store

> bookstore that specializes in rare books but sells hardcovers of good books for cheap (like $5 for an illustrated old hardcover of chaucer)
> Jewish owner
> I am 21 but look 14
> walk around store looking at books
> whenever I touch a book worth more than 20 dollars I hear a "kid! Kid!" From the counter and I put the book back even though I was considering getting it
> always end up just getting the cheapest hardcover of a book I want (e.g. 7 dollars for all of proust)
> owner never makes eye contact, always implies I could read better or pay for more
> go in one day
> dad's birthday tomorrow
> he loves Twain, I'll get him that
> find a hardcover illustrated twain... 5 dollars, plus 30 cents tax
> Debit card stopped working
> no cash
> grab my spare change coin bag from car
> sift through the coins and count them up while pacing the store and this ol jew is eyeing me
> count 3.50 or so in quarters
> go into dimes, down to 4.10
> go into nickels, down to 4.95
> realize I have almost 70 pennies
> go to counter
> tell him I'm using change and he groans
> give him quarters and dimes
> as soon as he sees the nickels and pennies he freaks out and yells
> then he's just like "whatever gimme what you have and if you don't have enough I'll call the police" in a sarcastic voice
> purchase book
> go to car
> find another dirty quarter
> go back in and give it to him "just in case"
> he almost throws me out of the store

Lol I still go there

lold for some reason

Hitler was right

>walk into small bookstore in manhattan
>hipster walks in, has pretentious written all over him
>in my head i think "he looks like someone who will loudly ask for what he is looking for so everyone in the store can hear him and know how smart he thinks he is"
>he does exactly that
>the second he finishes his sentence i loudly laugh, like way louder than he asked the clerk, people all turn to me and think i had a seizure or something
>attention is completely taken away from him now, and he seems disappointed
>he asks again, louder
>this makes me laugh even louder, like a hyena cackle
>a man comes up to me and asks if i'm okay, the entire store is looking at me with concern now
>i'm pointing at the hipster, hesitating to explain, babbling like a fucking idiot
>he says "i'm leaving"
>i clap as he leaves, he sees me clap
>everyone is confused
>i settle down and leave without buying anything

>walk into waterstones/B&N or whatever
>look at all the nice new books
>find interesting book
>take a picture of it
>download a copy from bib

fixed.

This story makes me mad user.

GOTTA GO PEEEEEEEE

>walk into B&N with a friend
>loudly say HAHA LETS GO PUT ALL THE BIBLES IN THE FICTION SECTION
>hang out in the reference section while all the floor workers go on Code Blue

at what in particular?

You are the hero lit deserves.

Why does anyone even go to B&N Chapters or Indigo even? Indie stores and Half price books is where its at

>walk into Books a Million
>go to the coffee store inside
>say hello and talk to my friend from school
>buy coffee
>leave

>go to bookstore
>fill my backpack with random books from the fiction section
>high tail it out of there
>get home
>it's all YA shit
>sell them to the thrift store
>buy a splinter cell novel and a pair of khakis with the money

I had sex in a Barnes and Nobles bathroom once.

>I had sex
Stopped reading after this lie.

>I had sex
Stopped reading after this... injustice

OP... easy on the piss.

I'm really into exhibitionism, I got my ex into it too. We had sex at an art gallery while two hipsters watched and the chick rubbed her cooch.

Had sex in an abandoned church facing a busy road as people honked their horns and more.
I hate that bitch.

>I'm really into exhibitionism,
Read: I'm a really big attention seeking faggot

I suppose. Stop being a buttblasted virgin and go get your peepee sucked you dweeb.

>buttblasted virgin
I'm married

So I was right then.

>walk into Barnes & Noble
>they don't have what I'm looking for
>Bookseller: "We can order those books for you!"
>Me: "Okay"
>tries to charge me about $15 extra than what the books actually cost
>Go home and hop on Amazon
>get the books at a reasonable price

>Walk into barnes and noble
>go to philosophy section
>~150 page book by Seneca
>Look at back
>$13
>put in pocket
>walk out of store
>Smile at security guard as I leave

underrated.

>walk into Barnes and Nobles
>browse the literature, poetry, and philosophy sections to pass the time (I'm meeting someone for a date)
>take a sip of coffee
>need to shit
>decide it would be a good idea to take a crap before the date, so I head to the bathroom
>nobody is in there
>take the larger handicapped stall because it's comfortable and spacious
>hear someone walk in with two dogs
>tries to unlock the door
>realizing it's locked the man walks away, grumbling to himself
>after he does this a few times I realize he's blind
>after the fifth time of doing it he pounds on the door and yells "ARE YOU DONE YET?"
>hurry up and open the door to a disheveled scraggly old man carrying one small dog in his hand and walking another on a leash.
>he smells horrible
>ask me angrily "Are you disabled?!"
>no
>"then why the fuck were you in there?"
>mumble something as he shoves me out of the way
>after shaking it off I realize something horrible
>there's a shit trail on the floor
>look behind me and see the feet of the old man from underneath the stall
>dog tries to jump up on him as he's shitting
>"FUCK OFF DAMN DOG"
>at this point I'm dying to get out of there
>carefully leave the bathroom, trying to avoid the shit trail
>realize some of it leads to the carpeted hallway
>small traces of shit have been smashed into the carpet
>leave without telling the management
>avoid Barnes and Nobles during the date and decide to go somewhere else
>it was a good date

>walk into BN
>find Steven King section.
>proceed to casually rip every cover, front or back at random.
>for measure, rip some of the inner pages a bit.
>go the hard cover section. Find same author.
>rip and tear, rip and tear.
>Step back and look at my work. Wonderful. Each King novel is ripped or torn a bit. Hard covers, bent a bit also.

TWO WEEKS LATER.
>enter BN to check on the progress.
>my glorious work is still there. Not a single king book has sold.

Making America Great, one leftist author at a time.

>(I'm meeting someone for a date)
Stopped reading right there buddy.

Too bad. It's a good story

It was, shame the poster had to throw in an imaginary date.

,':-)
Imaginary?!

It's a pretty shitty story if you ask me.