What is the funniest thing you've ever read?

What is the funniest thing you've ever read?

Other urls found in this thread:

zdarsky.tumblr.com/search/one page
youtube.com/watch?v=InR7tip2Izk
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

I don't remember.

>+ service fee

Lol, taht is funny.

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Then there's the dogsitting greentext that always makes me laugh.

What the fuck even IS a service fee for a dinner? Is that, like, the built-in tip for the wait staff?

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Waiting For Godot, Finnegans Wake and Douglas Adams' novels. Yeah I'm not really into humorous literature

your diary

Aw man, you didn't have to delete it, I had a good laugh reading it, I even had to google those urinals because I couldn't believe it

there's a bunch of different bathrooms there and it looks like maybe some have little dividers so you dont have to see too much dick when you piss, but this is the one i used, god that was fucked, there were like 3 or 4 dudes pissing when i walked and i was like wtf is this

Now we look like a couple of nuts in this thread

Well we're in good company, aren't we friend?

It's been nice speaking with you, friend. I hope to see you again in one of the other threads. Will I catch ya memeside?

Sincerely,

Aaron Syne

This cant be real, Right?

wtf is this /b/tier fantasy?

dunno, started being copypasta and at one point it got so popular it got the Duke treatment, or something very similar. It's at least 8 years old unless you can actually trace the comment back to some obscure and long dead forum from the pre-youtube era.

nice typography. thanks.

>typography
e-excuse me?

the document

I didn't post it. It's pretty well known pasta

It takes very little to make a man truly happy. Aurelius was right.

You ain't seen nothin yet.

the fuck you cunts even talking about

R&G Are Dead

>Dawkins Circle member (TM)

Literally could be my highschool

Not sure what you're basing that on but it's from an old webcomic site that had a selection of similar pages about other things. The comic author wrote them. There were maybe 8 total. Here's the only other one that people still repost.

Thanks that was amazing. What's his name or website? I wanna know more about it.

Seems to be the One Page series by Chip Zdarsky
zdarsky.tumblr.com/search/one page

Legally, a service fee belongs to the restaurant or hotel. It is typically distributed in a way that tips cannot be.

could imagine people confusing these for sinks if they were drunk enough

Plumbig is a very important thing, and a large portion of the world still doesn't have what we consider a basic utility.
Life without plumbing means the spread of easily preventable disease and terrible jobs without human dignity like the poor of India who are for all practical purposes forced to dig septic tanks with their hands.
A toilet in these parts of the world is a very big deal, i'm happy these kids are smart enough to realize that.

Yeah, these are good as fuck.

He thought he saw an Elephant
That practised on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
A letter from his wife.
'At length I realize,' he said,
'The bitterness of Life!'

He thought he saw a Buffalo
Upon the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found it was
His Sister's Husband's Niece.
'Unless you leave this house,' he said,
'I'll send for the Police!'

He thought he saw a Rattlesnake
That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
The Middle of Next Week.
'The one thing I regret,' he said,
'Is that it cannot speak!'

He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
Descending from the bus:
He looked again, and found it was
A Hippopotamus.
'If this should stay to dine,' he said,
'There won't be much for us!'

He thought he saw a Kangaroo
That worked a coffee-mill:
He looked again, and found it was
A Vegetable-Pill.
'Were I to swallow this,' he said,
'I should be very ill!'

He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four
That stood beside his bed:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bear without a Head.
'Poor thing,' he said, 'poor silly thing!
It's waiting to be fed!'

He thought he saw an Albatross
That fluttered round the lamp:
He looked again, and found it was
A Penny-Postage-Stamp.
'You'd best be getting home,' he said,
'The nights are very damp!'

He thought he saw a Garden-Door
That opened with a key:
He looked again, and found it was
A Double Rule of Three:
'And all its mystery,' he said,
'Is clear as day to me!'

He thought he saw an Argument
That proved he was the Pope:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bar of Mottled Soap.
'A fact so dread,' he faintly said,
'Extinguishes all hope!'

Random urbandictionary definitions and rationalwiki articles.

youtube.com/watch?v=InR7tip2Izk

Dude should have stuck with this over comics.

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>Rationalwiki
Laughing at them or with them?

Seeing how this board is plagued with snotty christians, probably the former

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This is such a goddamn heartwarming and wholesome image though

It's usually atheists/apatheists that dislike fedorawiki most from what I've seen.

b.eotc

this

The bit in factotum where he gets raped by a prostitute and pays her for the service anyway.

>not having a candlelight supper with riparian entertainment

An old mad-lib that my brothers filled out. It was about the Phantom of the Opera. I forget exactly how it went but at one point a giant turd slammed shut behind the heroine, locking her in with the phantom. A direct quote: "'Fuck you!'" the phantom said. 'Now you will have to marry me or I will fuck your fiance!'"

>dick Parkinson

this can't be real

holy fuck this is based

who is the funniest writer in your opinion? I'm an utter pleb so I'd say my favorites are Simon Rich or Mark Twain.

Nietzsche is pretty funny. Then there's Kharms and shit like that

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I guess he.... didnt take it easy on the carrots.

tell me more...

woah.... so this... is the power of carrots...