He fell for the KJV meme

Whenever someone accuses me of doing something stupid when I was younger I like to quote that verse. Usually gets a bemused laugh.

This (and other newer translations, like NRSV) is fine mostly. The only true error is "valley of the shadow of death" being replaced with "darkest valley".

The KJV is actually a bit more literal, which I think was the intended image (i.e. not simply a dark valley, but one that forebodes death).

sites.google.com/site/literaltranslationofthebible/psalms/psa-22

sites.google.com/site/literaltranslationofthebible/job/job-33
(see verses 33:18 and 33:30 here and in your own versions for examples of "of-a-death" might be translated from Hebrew)

If anything, the "valley" image is extraneous and not found in the original text. "Though I might walk into the shadow of death, I will fear no evil ..." would be the most accurate translation.

I'll bet you think that the emoji Shakespeare books are improvements on the original too.

Lattimore is the best. The fact that one man can produce a more accurate and better sounding translation than entire research/translation groups is astounding

You know what they say, too many cucks in the kitchen

>he fell for the english translation meme
clementine vulgate btfos

That's because translations like the NRSV are heavily politicized, they're purposely made as boring as humanly possible.

NRSV:
"As the fat is set apart from the offering of well-being, so David was set apart from the Israelites. He played with lions as though they were young goats, and with bears as though they were lambs of the flock. In his youth did he not kill a giant, and take away the people’s disgrace, when he whirled the stone in the sling and struck down the boasting Goliath?"

Knox:
"Only the fat from the sacrifice, only David out of all Israel; the Lord must have ever the best! Here was one that would use lion or bear as playthings for his sport, tussle with them as if they had been yearling lambs. Such was his boyhood; and who but he should save the honour of his people, by slaying the giant? He had but to lift his hand, and the stone aimed from his sling brought low the pride of Goliath."

I don't have that top right brainy wojak, can someone post it for me?

This should be fucking outlawed.

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>tfw no 4D brain

fuuuuuucking hell

Biblet here. What is the Message translation from and about?

>I am become
I had a cool french professor who used this as an example of antiquated grammatical leftovers of French in English. Most people recognize it the most from Oppenheimer quoting the Bhagavad-Gita.
French's passé composé tense is the equivalent of the English "I have run" or "I have touched" and most verbs translate directly to French like that with the French words for "I have" ("j'ai [past participle]"). But some verbs require the French words for "I am" ("je suis [past participle]") instead, like "I am died" ("je suis mort") instead of "I have died." English apparently used to have that same irregularity, but over time it disappeared.

We know man, we're all fluent in French

You think that's bad? Check out this

Authorized version: “And straightway coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens opened, and the Spirit like a dove descending upon him. And there came a voice from the heaven saying, Thou art my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

New: “As he was climbing up the bank again, the sun shone through a gap in the clouds. At the same time a pigeon flew down and perched on him. Jesus took this as a sign that God’s spirit was with him. A voice from overhead was heard saying, ‘That’s my boy! You’re doing fine!'”

KJV: “Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: [It is] good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.”

New: “Some of you think the best way to cope with sex is for men and women to keep right away from each other. That is more likely to lead to sexual offences. My advice is for everyone to have a regular partner.”

KJV: “I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.”

New: “If you know you have strong needs, get yourself a partner. Better than being frustrated.”

I don't believe that's real, what the fuck

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Post his Cointhians 13

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i'm looking forward to reading the NIV version of this. its not a bible replacement, but it looks like a nice comfy read of major biblical events in about 550 or so pages.

forgot pic

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I fucking love the New bible, It's fucking hilarious:

>Literal translation: ...every woman who will make herself male will enter the kingdom of heaven.
>New: ...every woman who insists on equality with men is fit to be a citizen in God’s New World.

I bet you couldn't even figure out what passage this is (hint: It's a very very commonly quoted one)

>New: God let them go on to pursue their selfish desires. Women use their charms to further their own ends. Men, instead of being friends, ruthlessly exploit one another.

Yeah I see no problem with this, if its all Biblical verses its still the Bible

‘That’s my boy! You’re doing fine!'”

lol hilarious

It's not

But here's Da Jesus Book version of Corinthians 13 which is 420% better

Why the fuck did North Point Press choose a photograph from the Piss Christ guy though?

read that in Little Jacobs voice. I'm a believer now.

>it's not
Oh sweet user.

>logion 114
You're not fooling me

This is unironically less weird and jarring than the Message version

>Love never gives up.
I thought I was getting rickrolled for a second.

It's a "translation" of the bible from a layperson that's intended to be a tool for evangelism. Basically the guy rewrote an existing New Testament to be more "plain English" and understandable to someone who just picked a copy off the street. The guy does not claim it's inspired or anything, but it can still be a problematic text given that it can remove meaning through simplification, etc. Ideally (according to him) it would just be used as a learning tool to help people convert and they would then move to an official translation for personal use.

But now I show you a way that is even better. If I speak with the tongues of men and angels, but have no love, all I am is sounding bronze or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of of prophecy and know all mysteries and all understanding, and if I have faith entire so as to move mountains, and I have no love, I am nothing. And if I give all I have in alms, and if I give my body to be burned, and have no love, it does me no good. Love is patient, is kind, love has no jealousy, does not swagger, has no pride, is not immodest, does not look for its own advantage, is not stirred to anger, does not keep count of evil done, is not happy over wrongdoing, shares the happiness of the truth; all-sustaining, all-faithful, all-hopeful, all-enduring. Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will come to nothing; if there are speeches, they will be stopped; if there is understanding, it will come to nothing. For we understand in part and we prophesy in part; but when completeness comes, what is in part will vanish away. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, and thought as a child, and reasoned as a child; now that I am a man, I am through with childish things. For now we see by a mirror, obscurely; but then face to face. Now I know in part; but then I will know in full, as I myself am fully known. And now there remain faith, hope, love; these three; but the greatest of these is love.

this is the newer one.

>They don't even sell this hardcover in my country
Fucking hell I don't want the shitty paperback cover.

Meh, its ok, prefer the New International

That's easy to recognize, you're exaggerating. But it's not only a parody-tier "translation", the meaning here is completely changed, what the hell?

Unsurprisingly, a board full of heretics hasn't even mentioned the actual textus receptus in it's original language, pic related.

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.

3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1

6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed teh skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.

9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urth and waters oshun. Iz good.

11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, DO WANT grass! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels. An a Corm. It happen.12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish good, so, letz there be weedz.13 An so teh threeth day jazzhands.

14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the skiez for splittin day An no day.15 It happen, lights everwear, like christmass, srsly.16 An Ceiling Cat doeth two grate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.17 An Ceiling Cat screw tehm on skiez, with big nails An stuff, to lite teh Urfs.18 An tehy rulez day An night. Ceiling Cat sawed. Iz good.19 An so teh furth day w00t.

20 An Ceiling Cat sayed, waterz bring me phishes, An burds, so kittehs can eat dem. But Ceiling Cat no eated dem.21 An Ceiling Cat maed big fishies An see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they no mood, An other stuffs dat mooves, An Ceiling Cat sawed iz good.22 An Ceiling Cat sed O hai, make bebehs kthx. An dont worry i wont watch u secksy, i not that kynd uf kitteh.23 An so teh...fith day. Ceiling Cat taek a wile 2 cawnt.

24 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has MOAR living stuff, mooes, An creepie tings, An otehr aminals. It happen so tehre.25 An Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, An creepies, An otehr animuls, An did not eated tehm.

26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy has can openers.

27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.

28 An Ceiling Cat sed them O hai maek bebehs kthx, An p0wn teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry stufs.

29 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, the Urfs, I has it, An I has not eated it.30 For evry createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, An teh mooes, so tehre. It happen. Iz good.

31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthxbai.

Douay-Rheims?

>First this: God created the Heavens and Earth--all you see, all you don't see. Earth was a soup of nothingness, a bottomless emptiness, an inky blackness. God's Spirit brooded like a bird above the watery abyss. God spoke: "Light!" And light appeared.

1 iff i talkd wif teh tungz of manz n angylz, n duzzn haz luff, i are becom liek teh human, knockin down all teh potz n panz frm teh shelf, srsly.2 iff i haz powarz of liek tellin the futurez an if i has access to teh internets, an i gotz all teh missteriez an all teh knowingz an all teh faithz, enuff 2 taek all teh mowntanz awayz, an i duzzn haz luff, i gotz nuffink.3 an evn iff i givez all mai stuffz awai, n iff i delivur mai bodiz to b burnded up, and i duzzn haz luff, i gotz nuffink.

4 Luv is pashient n kind, luv haz no jelusniss or showin offz, luv no is stuck-up5 or r00dz. Luv no insistzes on doin it 4 itzelf, itz not pisst off alla tiem or rezentflufflele.6 Luv izzn all happiez about doin it wrong, but is happiez about teh truthz.7 Luv putz up wiht all teh stuffz, beelivez all teh stuffz, hoepz for all teh stuffz. Luv putz up wiht all teh stuffz... i sed that areddy?

8 Luv no haz endingz. Tellin the futurez, tungz, an alla stuffz u know wil die.9 We haz knowingz a bit, an we haz profacy a bit. We no haz two much tho.10 O, wait. Win teh perfict coemz, teh not perfict will dyez, lolol.11 Wen i wuz a kitten, i meweded leik a kitten, thinkded liek a kittenz, an I chazed strings liek a kittenz. Wen i wuz becomez a cat, i NO WANT kitten waiz ne moar.12 For nao we see in teh foggy mirorr like when teh human gets out of teh shower, but tehn we see faec tow faec. Nao i haz knowingz just a bit, tehn i will haz all teh knowingz, as i haz been knownz.

13 Nao faithz an hoepz an luvz r hear, theses threes, but teh bestest iz teh luv. srsly.

Lord please strike me down right now.

my in-laws are friends with rowan williams, and he endorsed this shit?

i think i need a divorce

>First this
What the FUCK is wrong with "In the Beginning..."? They botched the fucking opening?

This is so far along the scale of stupidity that it wraps around and becomes a work of genius

"The valley of the shadow of death" is an allusion to actual waking life. How you missed this, I have no idea.

My question is the "soup of nothingness" bit. I don't see how this is any less confusing. It also feels like it's pulling from Hinduism, which would be a weird choice.

>If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am become sounding brass, or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And if I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body [a]to be burned, but have not love, it profiteth me nothing. 4 Love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not its own, is not provoked, taketh not account of evil; 6 rejoiceth not in unrighteousness, but rejoiceth with the truth; 7 [b]beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Love never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall be done away; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall be done away. 9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part; 10 but when that which is perfect is come, that which is in part shall be done away. 11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I felt as a child, I thought as a child: now that I am become a man, I have put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, [c]darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know fully even as also I was fully known. 13 But now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; and the [d]greatest of these is love.
Is it wrong of me to prefer the American Standard Version over all others.

Yeah, they make the decisive lines disappear, and give metaphor substance. Bizzare.

It seems fine. It's clearly just an updated KJV

It isn't just a "updated" KJV though, unlike other revisions It's basically a near retranslation from the original sources.

No, it's a revision. Revising an older translation includes re-translating. Anyway, the ASV was a revision of the RV, which was the first modern academic translation to come from the King James lineage.

I almost threw up. Whatever this is cannot even be compared to the KJV or original.

Why has the Bible been politicized that way? What translations would you recommend?

Religion is controversial, and Christianity is actually concerned about convincing people to join it.

tdlr: Check on who sponsored the NRSV: dead and dying Mainline Churches. Well shit, at least they had orthodox theologians right? Oh, 3 feminist scholars, 2 secularists, >presbyterians, half the staff from the disaccredited CTS, etc

Yeah no fucking wonder the Catholic Church chose the NAB over this.

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i kekd

>dying, sleeping -- that's all dying is
Is this the Jim Jones translation?

>That’s my boy! You’re doing fine!

Anyone have that Bible where a bunch of liberals edited it to make gay sex acceptable?

lolz

Recently I've been enjoying the Wycliffe Bible:

13 If I speak with tongues of men and of angels, and I have not charity, I am made as brass sounding, or a cymbal tinkling.

2 And if I have prophecy, and know all mysteries, and all knowing [and all knowing, or science], and if I have all faith, so that I move hills from their place [so that I bear over hills from one place to another], and I have not charity, I am nought.

3 And if I part all my goods into the meats of poor men, and if I betake my body, so that I burn, and if I have not charity, it profiteth to me nothing.

4 Charity is patient, it is benign; charity envieth not, it doeth not wickedly, it is not blown [it is not in-blown with pride],

5 it is not covetous [of worships], it seeketh not those things that be his own [it seeketh not those things that be her own], it is not stirred to wrath, it thinketh not evil,

6 it joyeth not on wickedness, but it joyeth together to truth; [it joyeth not in wickedness, forsooth it joyeth together with truth;]

7 it suffereth all things, it believeth all things, it hopeth all things, it sustaineth all things.

8 Charity falleth never down, whether prophecies shall be voided, either languages shall cease, either science shall be destroyed [whether prophecies shall be voided, or languages shall cease, or science shall be destroyed].

9 For a part we know, and a part we prophesy; [For of part we know, and of part we prophesy;]

10 but when that shall come that is perfect, that thing that is of part shall be voided.

11 When I was a little child, I spake as a little child, I understood as a little child, I thought as a little child; but when I was made a man, I voided those things that were of a little child.

12 And we see now [Forsooth we see now] by a mirror in darkness, but then face to face; now I know of part, but then I shall know, as [and] I am known.

13 And now dwelleth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the most of these is charity.

>charity

In the bin it goes

"love" is equally bad; the ancients, both Latin and Greek, had several different words that described what we today call by one, and caritas is the closest to what Christians would call God's love, which is being treated of in this passage.

No it isn't you retard. The Western European concept of a singular totalizing love is the only term which could approach divine love. The homo-pedophilic Greeks were simply linguistically inferior in this regard as was to be expected from its reflection in their degenerate promiscuity.

You shouldn't trust the bible anyway.

What an absurd article, he's writing as revelatory what most Catholics were aware of as children. It was the Judaic expectation that the messiah would be a new King David who would reclaim the holy land. However the direction of Christ's work made clear he had no such interest in such a position. His temptation by the devil during the fasting in the wilderness explicates this extremely clearly.
Although I will say its not that Christ, like say the Buddha was not interested in politics, but that his interests were super-political.

He isn't wrong about one aspect, even the Catholic church greatly deemphasizes this side of Jesus.

Well I think then it'll be far more interesting to display how this aspect is de-emphasized more than it is apparent in the text.

All of the poetry is heavyhandedly drained from the modernization, it's disgusting. Not to mention important changes in the OP like turning "charity" to "love." New translations were a mistake.

Dingus the Bible was not written in English. The King James Bible was already an act of modernization, the newer ones are simply more refined and considered

I read the Bible in Serbian, but KJV is superior in every way now that I think about it. I should read it in English too.

>if you run something through Google translate across 50 languages there's no loss in meaning or accuracy
lol
a modernization is fine
a modernization of a modernization is not

It isn't however outrageous to claim there hasn't been a good translation of the bible yet, as explained previously in the thread they all suffer from the same problem of modernism heresy, even the Jerusalem Bible and RSV although considered conservative by towards standards were considered extremely liberal just 70 years ago.

too soon.

>a modernization of a modernization is not

Are you baiting? Thats not how most new editions were composed.

Do you mean like how the NRSV is a modernization of the RSV which is a modernization of the ASV which is a modernization of the RV which is a modernization of the KJB?

Pfft please, you're disguising your interest in manipulating the word in your own interest. The spirit of the work is far beyond your petty fixations of conservatism

Oh you aren't actually read on this topic, you don't seem to be aware the reason the RSV never caught on was because the OT translation is straight up NT denying heresy.

Sure but what of the NIV which has enormous readership

I was actually going to mention the NIV explaining the reason why it came to exist was because the RSV's liberal theology was too much even for the liberal churches at the time, the ESV is a slightly more conservative equivalent of the NIV If i remember correctly.

>handbook for liberating the individual and revolting against imperial authority
Yes goyim, don't trust the Bible. (((We))) know better for you!

I still don't really know what can be politicized. I mean, if it means overtly mistranslating parts of the Bible to make homosexuality acceptable, well, then that's one thing. But can really call that translating if it is more like fraud?

Translating almah as “young woman” instead of “virgin.” isn't technically a mistranslation but the equivalent of declaring yourself a ultra-modernist liberal.

Open up biblegateway on that verse and compare all the translations of this verse, take note of the ones that translate it as young women, then do 2 minutes of research on whose behind them.

Get how it can be politicized now?

That makes sense.

Another more difficult example is "1 Corinthians 11:4-7", some bibles like the NIV provide a alternative translation in the footnotes that radically alters the meaning and spirit of the original text.