I'm so fucking scared of botulism, I can't eat anything. How do I deal with this?

I'm so fucking scared of botulism, I can't eat anything. How do I deal with this?
Posting this here because food.

go to a therapist you fucking weirdo

Already am

don't eat food that has botulism in it

you could stick to eating hyperpasturized processed, packaged, instant type food like ramen and canned goods or really anything that's expiration date is 1 year or more from today's date

Don't eat boiled gopher tails.

Doesn't everything have botulism in it? Even processed meat could be infected.

Why not

That's pretty rare. I have something going on though. I haven't been able to eat normally for a month now. Just the BRAT diet basically. Nausea, stomach spasms. Going in for an endoscopy tomorrow. Already have blood tests, stool samples and an ultrasound. I'm scared even though they say it is no big deal.

Because botulism.

The only god damned source of botulism in a first world country is botched home canning and dirty needles get over yourself