after Trench stared down his black cunt. I’m laughing out loud at the black chicks, until another states no white boy had a cock big enough to please a ‘sista’. Trench says who the fuck would wanna fuck a skanky nigger cunt like you, anyway? ‘Fuck you!’ says the sister. Adam agrees, while nursing his virginity. Osaka never speaks when challenged. Jack reads the racing form. I say I’ll fuck her or any of the others & they’ll like it. The girl laughs, dares me to prove it, & points to the stairwell. She says she’ll snap me in ½. I disagree. She says white boys have little dicks compared to brothers. I say ‘Maybe, but we like Avis, we try harder!’ I was proud all of the girls I fucked commented on 1) my cock’s being larger than average (6½” vs. 5¼” normal in length) - especially considering I was on the small side, 2) I was a good, tender lover - not a suck, fuck, & roll over sort, & 3) unlike other nervous guys, I never had ‘performance problems’. Yet, I had recurring pains in my groin, looming larger as years went on, but a non-issue as the black chick, whose name I forget but label Marvella (she had 1 of those fucked up made-up black names meant to instill ‘pride’), & I tryst in the stairwell as Trench, her pals, & others rush to the door to listen. Even though she’s bigger, I have a good chance to end all the bullshit about ‘white boys’ once & for all.
Against, & on top of an old iron radiator I seize her, & kiss her. She is startled, but she’s a sexybeast. I fondle her large firm tits & French kiss her, pushing my groin into hers. She is taken aback I have no fear. Within a minute her hubris fades as her taut, muscular body melts to my smaller body’s rhythms & commands. After pulling my pants, underpants & her panties down, & her skirt up, condoming myself, I fuck her hard - tonguing her inner palate. She rips into my back with her claws, wraps her muscular thighs around me & squeezes. Her squeals & grunts tickle huzzahs & shock from the listeners. The pain & pleasure of me pounding her against the iron radiator is something she’s never felt nor dreamt of. All resistance fades. The only difference between black & white chicks is black chicks’ pubic hairs are more abrasive, like rubbing your groin against a Brillo pad. Such thoughts mean little as Marvella is off in the moment as our loins shudder against each others’. She is not a black stallioness, nor I a little white dick, just another woman in the thrall of a man hammering her, dominating her will. I come. She has radiator prints embossed into her back. I drop her on the floor next to the radiator as she catches her breath. She smiles at me, her legs spread & pinkness slowly oozing my semen out. She wants more. I want another pile drive, to see how far this animal act takes us. She’s 1 of the best fucks ever - her body’s beckonings indicate she reciprocates - but I’ve proven my point! I whip off my condom, pull up my pants, & walk through the door with my load showing in the rubber’s tip as proof. I’m a hero to white boys. I’m a pervert to white chicks who mocked me, but now regard me a priapic anomaly worth inspection. Marvella’s pals rush past me, to see what happened. They help her to their table, where she catches her breath, & some black guys feel like cuckolds. A white boy did for her what they could never do. They won’t forget that - some are J-Liners. The buzz that day is our tryst. Marvella & I never do it again - in fact, we never speak. Only furtive, but decipherable, glances are exchanged. Marvella’s body was marvelous - strong, sexy, her gluteus muscular. The rich musky scent of her sweat, & her eyeglasses crooked across he face as she lay on the floor, begging for another ride, stick with me:
Juan James
MARVELLA RIDES THE BIG IRON PIPE
O, yes she was a sassy steely stallioness, that bitch - with iron shanks - who in the lunchroom ranked on me. Said she, “You white boys jus’ can’t gimme mine! You tiny! You queer!” Yet she liked my small white ass
as I made objections to her point, and then begged to show her mine. Marvella said, “You little boy, I'll snap yo’ skinny ass in two!” Her iron legs then tried. But it was futile because she enjoyed
my eager hammer pressing steel into her spine, on the old radiator, dark in the stairwell which led to the lunchroom, which cheered all of her squeals
as I pulled down hard on her glistened buns of steel in such awkward positions. She loved it brutal, as I gave her my best, yet never was I thanked.
I asked what that had to do with this room. Tonio said that some faggots could not get any men to like them enough to let them stick their dicks in their assholes so they would come to Tonio’s. Was I supposed to let a faggot stick his dick in my asshole? Of course not, Tonio assured me. Instead the faggots would stick their dicks through the holes & the kids would just lick & suck on them for a few minutes & the faggots would pretend it was a man’s asshole, & sometimes even non-faggots who couldn’t get women would come to get their dicks sucked through the Glory Hole & pretend they were sticking their dicks in a woman’s hole, which was called a cunt, I soon learned.
So, all I would have to do would be to suck dick for a few minutes? Sure, said Tonio, that was it. He told me I should watch the other kids before trying it. Basically the kids, about a dozen in the room, although Tonio took care of 3 or 4 times as many (they would rotate nights), would see the dick & then pretend it was a lollipop- sometimes licking the dick tip gently, & sometimes, as it got bigger, wrapping their whole mouth around it.
The walls would sometimes shake on the other side as the faggots seemed to love the dick-sucking. You could hear them curse & scream with pleasure- sometimes so loud that the music that usually emanated from the club could barely be heard at all. After about 20 minutes of watching the oldest kid, Tilda, a blond girl, got up & told me to give it a try. I sat in her seat & waited for the next dick to pop through. It was quite a wait. I guess Tonio’s was slow that night.
Kevin Rivera
Then 1 did. It was a brown dick, brown as Estella’s skin. Tilda bent over & motioned for me to imitate what she did in the air, except that I should do it on the dick. After a bit of nervousness I watched her & did what she did, except to the dick, not air. I did so for about _ a minute when all of a sudden the dick pissed on me, a bit in my mouth, & I backed away. Tilda slapped the dick & it went back into the hole. I was choking on the piss & it was disgusting. Tilda washed my mouth out with soap & explained to me that it wasn’t piss. & it wasn’t. It was this sticky, foul-tasting white gooey stuff. I asked if the faggot had pussed in me? No, Tilda told me, it was not pus or piss but come, or cum. The faggot had came in my mouth. She told me that when dicks get real excited they release cum. Usually, when this happens in a woman’s cunt that’s how babies like Estella’s got made. Even more disgusting than the taste of the faggot’s cum in my mouth was the realization that my father had shot this stuff into Estella, & even my mom, to make me! That I started out as cum was alarming.
Tilda told me that usually you can tell when a faggot is about to come. It takes a few minutes. But, sometimes early cummers like the ‘nigger faggot’ happen by & you get the cum all over you. She said I would learn when most dicks would shoot their load soon enough. Then I would stop sucking, get 1 of the plastic bags on the floor & wrap it around the dick so it would come in there. The reasons for this were 2-fold. 1st was that it kept the Glory Room cleaner, & 2 was that some of the faggots were sick & their cum was bad & we could get sick if we tasted or swallowed the cum. Tonio did not want any of us getting ill, ‘cause it was bad for business & might mean the kids would be sent home to their parents.
I asked if Tilda had parents. She said yeah. She was nearly 12 & had been with Tonio for nearly 3 years. She said that she had come with an older neighbor girl all the way from Ohio. The older girl now worked for Harold Rankin, the guy who ran the pink whore house a couple blocks away. She told me that as soon as her tits started growing she was told that Harold wanted her to come & work for him. You got more money & your own apartment- or at least _. She was gonna share a place with Debby, the girl she came from Ohio with. The only other thing she told me that night was that we had to suck all the dicks, unless you saw 1 with scabs or that looked bad, then you’d call Tonio. If he said it was ok to suck you did. If he said no he’d go outside & beat the faggot up for you. Tonio did not take kindly to faggots who tried to get his kids sick. I spent the rest of that night sucking. I remember I sucked 13 more dicks until the club closed that night. By the 9th dick I thought I was pretty good, 1 of the best kids in the Glory Row. I took a sort of pride in being a quick learner, & also that none of the other dicks came all over me.
Kayden Thomas
THE GGREAATEST PROSOLOGIST OF THIS OR ANY ERA???
Joseph Jenkins
Yes
Grayson Barnes
Dan Schneider is such an interesting combination of insane and clever. I like his movie reviews.
James Edwards
Oh fuck I remember this guy. When did he become a meme here? Was it 2012-2014?
Aaron Evans
Weirdly compelling reading.
Christian Miller
Lol you guys just keep it on up I'm sure it will work one of these days
Owen Robinson
>when you live in the same neighborhood Dan Schneider grew up in and you realize it's all bullshit posturing
First off, what is memoir? Basically a memoir is a form or sub-genre of autobiography. The difference between the two is that autobiography is a form of journalism, while memoir is creative writing. I.e.- an autobiography has very little wiggle room to work in dealing with the facts of its subject’s life, while a memoir can compress events, pseudonymize, alter specific details for dramatic effect, etc. In short a memoir can use novelistic techniques, while an autobiography cannot- if it does there comes a certain hazy line where it has slipped into memoir. Secondly, there are 2 basic factors about successful memoirs. A memoir can be a good solid read if it has 1 of the 2 factors, & great literature if it has both. Factor 1 is that the subject of the memoirs has to be a) someone who’s led an interesting life, or b) someone who is historically important. You might call this a subset of the ‘Great Man’ theory of history- that is people want to know about General Patton but not a general patent clerk (Albert Einstein aside). Factor 2 is that the memoirist must be a good or great enough writer to overcome the absence of Factor 1, if needed. That is that the literary stylings must be memorable enough to make the life seem interesting if not, and seem important if not. If both factors are in place the makings of great literature are aborning. Fortunately, I am 2 for 2 in my memoirs, but the 2 main books I will be discussing are not. Those 2 books are the 2 most popular and influential memoirs of the last decade- Dave Eggers’ A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius and Frank McCourt’s Angela’s Ashes.
Isaiah Butler
And then you read his actual works, and realize that he's mostly right and understands humanity far more than anyone else and can weave whole breathing unique characters out of thin air in a matter of pages.
Jaxson Torres
Dan Schneider is fascinating to me. He's clearly very well read and very industrious and he makes thousands of videos going on and on about all different aspects of literature, poetry, cinema etc. But at the end of the day he's just this nobody. His videos only get a handful of views each, and I imagine that about the same number of people read his website regularly. You'd think someone who purports to be such an amazing writer and poet would be at least more famous than he is. To some extent I get the feeling he over-hypes himself quite a bit, but he's also far more talented than the majority of writers and poets.
Eli Howard
I honestly wonder if Dan Schneider got his inspiration from Lolita.
Justin Rivera
Dan Schneider? Where have I heard that name..
Hudson White
Or you could actually bother to find out the full extent of his work and stop making shots in the dark. Why do you let popularity and consensus determine your perception anyway? If you could actually perceive all the ins & outs of his poetry released so far, you probably wouldn't even bother making such a remark.
Austin Davis
I like this guy but don't understand his website
Brayden Turner
What's his name again?
Robert Rogers
40% sure that this poster is Dan Schneider. Number isn't higher because Dan would have used more words and devoted more of the post to explaining how smart he is.
Christian Cooper
He actually had a short email with Dan 'our man' Schneider at one point. 'Girth of a Beer Can' Dan once messaged Veeky Forums Dan over their having the same name and confusing google results and then that was pretty much it. It's somewhere on the site if you can be bothered looking for it. Cosmoetica is such a fucking mess.
Liam Bell
If you read his works you will know. T. Dan but this last sentence reads as bitter. Here's the problem with Dan's 'memoir': he's dropping all these place names that only people in the area would know or give a fuck about without describing what they are. Someone reads about "the forest park bandshell" and that name alone doesn't give them an image or do anything for them. He couldn't say the 'old bandshell' he had to say forest park which lliterally only works for neighborhood people. If the book is written for neighborhood people then it fails because it does not really depict the vibe of the neighborhood. It's trying so hard to 'be hard', the mean streets of ridgewood. Some parts of ridgewood, the closer you got to Brooklyn weren't too safe maybe 30 years ago but it wasn't the hood. And he does actually pick up on some truthful dynamics. For example any public school kid transferring to catholic school would be seen as 'hard' but the observation is so juvenile that it's nearly embarrassing to read. Of course the Dan in the narrative is above all that because he's seen some real shit hasn't he.
Dan could be great but his preoccupations aren't universal as the great writers' were.
Colton Myers
Veeky Forums will like anything if it's obscure and quirky.
