Bookstore cringe stories

Everybody likes retarded shit when they're teenagers. Don't fucking pretend you were reading Kant in between jerking off and algebra homework

>here him

>t. dumb woman

Why would I be mad? I have a penis and will never be a stupid doo doo head slut vagina monster.

Guys and we please tell each other slightly funny stories and not shit on woman incessantly please thank you

When will they learn user

>mfw a woman is dumb and pleb and has a vagina near me

bump

Finally, a thread where I can share this!
>Be at local used bookstore
>Browsing the classics section
>A high school girl and her mother walk into the aisle
>Both are having a conversation
>The girl says she needs Crime and Punishment for her AP English class
>She's looking for copy with the least number of pages because she thinks it will be shorter
>That bimbo gives up, and looks for a copy where smart nerds made notes in it
>The girl grabs a copy, and says she's probably not going to read it, and just use sparknotes instead
>mfw the decline of American education

YOUR A WHITE MALE!!!

holy fuck women are so fucking idiots

Overheard a guy and a girl of maybe 25 years discussing two books they'd found; American Gods by Gaiman and another called Greek Gods which was about actual Greek mythology.
They were baffled by the fact that AG was the thicker book, since "surely the Greeks had more gods... America only has one, right?"
It's probably a good thing they don't let me carry a firearm.

>be 3 years ago
>be 17
>going through existential crisis (read: teenage angst) so decide to head to Barnes & Nobles to pick out some books dealing with those issues
>naturally am guided to the philosophy section
>be standing there for 2 minutes when all of a sudden I hear someone the next section over snicker
>look around and see it was some archetypal snobbish philosophy major Britbong
>spark conversation with him for 5 minutes until his shitskin gf comes from around the corner and tells him it's time to leave
>fucking Rockstop

>AP English
>book written in Russian

It's called AP English and Literature, buckarooee

>what are translations

Wait...are you really supposed to stop jerking off once you aren't a teenager anymore

Once I walked into a book store and I asked a lady who worked there "Do you have a poetry collection by Heinrich Heine?" and she said "Do we have *what* by Heine?" and I said "A poetry collection" and then she nodded and helped me out.

It was awkward and still bugs me to this day.

>green texts story mentions lolita
>stop reading right there

so sick of the god damn farmer who keeps posting these idiotic stories about lolita, no one in a city that has more people than cows gives a rats ass about lolita, kys

The Black Company is my favorite book (series) of all time.

Kek, that's how we know a woman wrote it.

>get a large black coffee and walk into B&N
>security guard smiles hello, I smile back
>in fiction section a thick new book just arrived, about a dozen copies, lined up on the floor, spines against the wall, so I can't tell what book it is
>bend over to pick one up
>feel my entire large black coffee spill
>must've ruined about 5-10 books
>i can see the black coffee slowly seeping into the pages, these books will be unsellable.
>place my coffee on the shelf
>walk out calmly, smiling back at the security guard again
>hear "awwww fuck!" from the fiction section from an employee
>tfw the cup I left at the scene has my name on it

not going to that B&N for a while, laying low

>came to a book store to buy a baby care book for my brother whose wife recently gave birth to their first baby
>a pretty shop girl smiles to me and asks me what i want
>i explain
>her smile suddenly wanes, she shows me the shelf almost crossly and immediately leaves

it was a bit embarrassing desu

she was just buttmad that the chads shes been fucking on tinder never call her back even if she swallows

>checking out at B&N
>Middlemarch, George Eliot
>qt cashier asks "good choice, did you know she was a huge influence on Proust?" (pronouncing Proust correctly)
>as I'm responding, I feel a large booger in my nose, I want to pick it so badly
>i see her looking directly at my nose, her fading smile telling me the booger is visible
>as I'm speaking the booger visibly falls out of my nose and onto the counter
>I pretend it never happened and I keep talking and just leave the booger there
>she said nothing after my response

>your dick didn't fall off at the age of 20

Lol jesus what a failure.

lmao

>go into Chapters
>go to the SF/F section (which is adjacent to the comics and manga section)
>there are ALWAYS at least half a dozen nerds in the aisle, a lot of them sitting on the floor and blocking the way
>ask them to move so I can browse, multiple times, and loudly enough to try to make them feel embarrassed
>they feel no shame
>mfw

>white man
>exists

How much do you get paid to false flag like this in every single thread?

>everyone talks about this great used book store hidden in some corner downtown
>decide to check it out
>upon entering the stench of marijuana is overbearing
>store clerk is some 15 year old boy wearing an Ayn Rand t-shirt
>ask him where the poetry section is
>he groans loudly and says it's "somewhere in the back"
>navigate my way around piles of paperbacks and squeezing my way through shelves
>in the middle of hopping over a pile of Stephen King novels
>get distracted by a gay couple making out in the theater section
>screw up my landing and topple into the classics shelf
>shelf falls over and I get buried under old Penguin and Wordsworth Classics
>pinned and call for help
>clerk is busy trying to kick out a homeless man masturbating in the erotica section
>look around and see a collection of T.S. Eliot's poetry within reach
>grab it and flip through the pages
>turns out the cover was a lie and someone changed the pages
>mfw the inside contents is actually The Communist Manifesto

at least the constant anti-semitism leads to an occasional interesting thread about jewish ideologies, western civilization, christianity, etc. but the women hating shit just goes no where, shit's gay, it's probably a butch dyke he hates men for whatever reason, maybe she should go to a psychoanalyst and admit she wants her dad to fuck her so so she can finally stop falseflagposting

i wish Audrey was my girlfriend

>walk into a magazine and stationery shop
>see some romantic novel books from Harlequin
>ask the counter staff for the price of the books
>one of them replied: "those aren't books, those are novels"

Is awkwardly asking for some dude's number to discuss literature with him cringe or just awkward? I was the guy asking

neither. unless you asked in a flirty way that he didn't appreciate.

I went to a used bookstore once. The entrance was write next to the cash register, so a cute cashier was standing right there when I went in. I said "hey" or "good afternoon" or something like that, and she didn't respond.

And then I couldn't find any books I wanted to read, so I left with nothing.

Fake but amazing. Thank you

Actually yes, I was reading Dostoy and about philosophy at age 15.
And I don't think certain manga or anime is retarded shit, it was only the way she acted that made me cringe like "yeah I get you like this very mainstream anime but can you not make a scene about it".

>A woman reading Black Company

>he spends his days false flagging on Veeky Forums

Considering you are awkward enough to have to ask about this kind of thing you will come off as gay.

self-inserts as soulcatcher :^)

I took advantage of being at the seaside to lay in a store of
sucking-stones. They were pebbles but I call them stones. Yes, on
this occasion I laid in a considerable store. I distributed them
equally between my four pockets, and sucked them turn and turn
about. This raised a problem which I first solved in the following
way. I had say sixteen stones, four in each of my four pockets these
being the two pockets of my trousers and the two pockets of my
greatcoat. Taking a stone from the right pocket of my greatcoat, and
putting it in my mouth, I replaced it in the right pocket of my
greatcoat by a stone from the right pocket of my trousers, which I
replaced by a stone from the left pocket of my trousers, which I
replaced by a stone from the left pocket of my greatcoat, which I
replaced by the stone which was in my mouth, as soon as I had
finished sucking it. Thus there were still four stones in each of my
four pockets, but not quite the same stones. And when the desire to
suck took hold of me again, I drew again on the right pocket of my
greatcoat, certain of not taking the same stone as the last time.
And while I sucked it I rearranged the other stones in the way I
have just described. And so on. But this solution did not satisfy me
fully. For it did not escape me that, by an extraordinary hazard, the
four stones circulating thus might always be the same four. In which
case, far from sucking the sixteen stones turn and turn about, I was
really only sucking four, always the same, turn and turn about. But
I shuffled them well in my pockets, before I began to suck, and
again, while I sucked, before transferring them, in the hope of
obtaining a more general circulation of the stones from pocket to
pocket. But this was only a makeshift that could not long content a
man like me. So I began to look for something else ...

I can't believe I'm reading a post by a 33rd degree autist!
It's an honor sir

Probably. But I knew it wasn't cringe to begin with, I'm one of those insecure fuckwads who over-analyzes practically everything they say or do.

And I didn't text the guy back.

Wrong threads, anons, do pardon mineself!

true or not true that was the best one

Of all the female character to self-insert as you choose the worst one.

soul catcher is a strong independent girl who ain't need no man

she also had her severed head being sewed back to her neck which is pretty badass

Kek that's my life now

I was lurking in the manga aisle for light novels because they had a deal and I overheard some poor dad getting the entire plot to Tokyo Ghoul expained to him by his 12 year old daughter.

>Be me, 14
>Small town had a small, locally owned bookstore
>Lady who owned it was a little odd, but encouraged "Haggling"
>Was really just her giving me massive discounts because she knew I was poor and liked my taste
>Got rare and obscure editions of books, a few worth hundreds, for 3-4 dollars apiece
>A lot of raggy paperbacks too, but I really just liked what was on the pages.
>Store goes out of business
>Only option for buying physical copies from stores is now a B&N a few towns over
I never go there because of the stories I read here.

Read it as
>Everybody likes retarded shit when they're teenagers. Don't fucking pretend you weren't reading Kant in between jerking off and algebra homework
kek

>lurking in B&N reading Lolita
>no I'm not autistic

mmmk

just kick the subhuman trash next time, grow a backbone, geeze

>small town local library
>browse books near the cashier
>a funny looking guy around 18-20 walks in and asks for a bible
>I cringe as I hear him speak, dude sounds like a real faggot
>I take a good look at him, he is also dressed as one
>strikes a conversation with the lady clerk about gay marriage and if the bible explicitly prohibits it
>the clerk brings the bible, he starts browsing it mumbling inaudible shit to himself
>the debate goes on betweem the two clerks and the guy
>the other lady clerk seems very religious and is against gay marriage, starting a pretty cringeworthy dispute
>guy gets mad, tells them 'I hope God will burn your library down' or some shit like that and exits the library

the fuck

>He actually read all his assigned books
I read about 20 pages total of Brave New World and cheated off my friend for the in class assignments when I was in AP lit. Slept through most of Hamlet too

Fucking autist

Not a bookstore but in line with these other stories

>Be a cashier at a liquor store
>Reading Karen Armstrong's A History of God
>Modern Abrahamic concepts of God are cobbled from many disparate theologies, whether God exists or not doesn't change that mankind's perception of him is entirely constructed by man
>Customer walks in, sees my book
>"You know that's all FALSE right?"
>What?
>"We're all destined to die, just floating around in the VOID"
>Yeah no shit you anti-intellectual reddit shitstain
>Say nothing because I wanted to keep my job

>getting into philosophy finally
>15 sorting through a second hand book store
>head up to buy some Kierk and Nietzsche
>clerk looks over the spines
>'they don't like you too much out there, do they kid?'
>w-what
>'you mustn't be very popular?'
>stare at him in confusion as he gets my change smirking
>i leave

What kind of cunt 50 year old

> be me, 25
> go to a bookstore in France
> pick a random book about nihilism because the cover is edgy
> cheap laugh
> 18-19yo store clerk sees me, asks me in French if I want it
> "it's deep stuff, gars," he says
> I reply that I would rather pick a Nietzsche if I wanted some 'good' nihilism
> "What's Nietzsche?"

clenchinghand.jpeg

>be me
>who else would I be?
>go to local bookstore
>grab a copy of GR and approach the register
>approximately 19 year old qt with blue hair at the register
>slap GR down on the counter
>"ever heard of this one, toots?"
>"oh yeah I love that one" sed at
>"i love the myriad voices he employs"
>...
>"the book kinda has a circular structure, but I won't say any more or else I'll spoil the ending!"
>start sweating
>purchase book
>leave store in a haste
>she calls out as I'm briskly walking away
>"make sure you pay attention to Slothrop's costume changes in part 3!"
>my pace quickens to a soft gallop as I go out the door
>realize 10 mins later I left my book on the counter
Who was in the wrong here?
W

The stories here are all fake, but BN shit is mad overpriced.

Yeah, I read retarded shit when I was a teenager, but not anime. I was an edgy leftist and avante-garde art fan so I read shit like Kropotkin, Nietzche, Deleuze, and Kafka (who I still read). Then I group, and now I mostly read analytic philosophy, math, and cognitive science. But yeah in high school I was basically at the level of most of the brainlets on Veeky Forums, so feel free to bow down and submit to my intellectual superiority.

He wasn't wrong. You are unlikeable.

>be browsing near the help desk because of really cute girl
>long red hair, short, snowy white skin and childlike voice
>she sees me and walks up to me, asks me if I need help
>smile and ask for the book I'm looking for
>The Histories by Herodotus
>she looks it up and I check her out while shes doing it
>nice ass
>she tells me she knows where it is and to follow her
>we walk from one side of the store to the other and cant find it
>she asks others to help
>nothing
>she gives up and says sorry we dont carry it
>I hang around for a while looking at other thigngs
>find The Histories right where it should be
>shes fucking dumb.

happened to me recently

>be me
>took some alcohol after a hard day of work and go home
>the world is so warm and fuzzy and everything is so right, i barely can think
>a man approaches me and asks "do you think the bible is important nowadays?"
>suddenly stop
>i should answer something but what
>briefly remember the history of the bible, its connection to gilgamesh, some verses especially that about the valley of the shadow of death and also ecclesiastes, but i am drunk so i dunno what to say
>the man looks at me, realizes i am not completely sober, says "oh, it's a pity you didn't read the bible" and goes away
>go home thinking if bible is important nowadays or not, i don't remember what i eventually decided

I was jerking Kant off

also
>Modern Abrahamic concepts of God are cobbled from many disparate theologies, whether God exists or not doesn't change that mankind's perception of him is entirely constructed by man
iirc kant answered to it

The chapters near me has a comic book store right across the street to me and much cheaper manga price. And yet all the spergs clog up said section in Chapters. I mean whatdafuck

Was waiting in the qeue at Waterstones and the cashier girl was a bit down, saying to her friend that her boyfriend had dumped her because she was going nowhere in life. Trying to cheer her up, I piped up with "But you work in a bookshop!" (planning to continue with 'gateway to knowledge, foundation of civilisation and learning, gateway to a universe of experiences, etc) She just glares daggers at me, causing me to stutter and clam up. Only after paying and leaving do I realise she took it as an insult.

>security guard at a B&N
the fuck? was the shop in the middle of a very 'vibrant and diverse' city or something? even then I can't imagine shitskins would be stealing books of all things, most are functionally illiterate as it is

I think the bible's not important anymore, not because the bible has no worth as a spiritual manifesto or work of literature, but in a Nietzchean "God is dead and we've killed him" sense. Both the religious and irreligious are SIMULTANEOUSLY obsessed with the idea of the bible being fully literal while only cherry-picking sections and ideas that fit their current arguments. I personally wish more people would realize and accept the bible as being internally inconsistent, because its not the product of a single force but of dozens of flawed human beings who were trying to understand and respond to cultural and political conditions of their time. If people could view the bible like they do the greek mythological canon I think it could gain a more constructive place in western culture

I was walking through this really big independent bookstore and passed by this hippy duchebag talking to some girl and heard him use the phrase "the machine of human suffering"

>I reply that I would rather pick a Nietzsche if I wanted some 'good' nihilism
You are right.
This was cringy.

unironically this though

sadly this

>short skin
what did user mean by this?

>Post hoc ergo propter hoc.

well, i don't think it is that simple. even though the bible is not very consistent, it is still one of the few texts that we have that were supposedly inspired by the god to express something that he wanted to say or to do to us. we can consider the bible as an imperfect reflection of the god's message in the human mind of people from millenia ago.

if anything it has a great psychological importance too giving acessibility and the air of authority to what otherwise would be mere phylosophical exercises, way too abstract and distant for most of the people. the bible makes it accessible and supports it with its percepted significance

it is also a bit different with the greek canon because its anthropomorphic gods drew some criticism from the ancient times, xenophanes, then socrates etc

...

Good Lord have mercy on my soul.

I'm in Pittsburgh, PA you neurotic idiot

>be at bookstore
>see a bunch of cheap paperback "classics"
>too many people in the bookstore so I decide to come later to pick up a copy of Heart of Darkness, which I had been meaning to read
>Come back next day and there's no copies left
>Know deep inside that people probably only bought the book because the title sounded cool

I disagree with your perspective but it's well-formed. Christianity is still very important in the Western world despite what the media may want you to think. It's true that it has a lot of viewpoints in argument with each other but that doesn't mean it should just all be dismissed. When you get down to the spirit of the thing it's still a very relevant ruleset for modern life and certain passages are surprisingly relatable when you go back and read it as an adult.

They probably bought it because they heard Apocalypse Now was based on it.

Heart of Darkness is kind of famous and it is required reading in many literature courses

I don't even live in an English speaking country, that's the thing.

this is a bad post. you haven't even read Heart of Darkness and you're asserting some kind of superiority over someone else who bought it because you "know deep down" they're buying it for more superficial reasons than you?

is this bait? you may have narcissistic personality disorder.