Write what's on your mind

I know. I get matches regularly but it's impossible to come up with something to talk about with these girls near me since the don't even put something on their bios, and they don't seem too interesting in me either.
The thing is that it really got me thinking. I've been sheltering myself in my house for the past 6 months without barely talking to some people, none of them women.

I don't know. Something like that really gets on my head and it puts me down

I've been in the process of getting Veeky Forums for the past few months and lately I notice that my female coworker has been engaging me in conversation more often. She's hardly fawning over me but the increased attention is a sign that I'm doing something right.

Keep trying user

Please talk to women face to face, just try, embarrass yourself repeatedly, even get the cops called on you, whatever, there are so damn many

I read this in Brain's voice.

lol dont tell me ur going to fit

u r a mother fuckin pleb, go to your local gym and get in the ring, come back and tell us how boring it is, fag

Pratt

I got downtown and roamed, hoping to find a bar to finally have a drink after five months. I wanted to watch the fight and be in the middle of people. But the streets were packed enough, and I wasn't paying twenty dollars to get in. Plus I talked to this cute girl while waiting for the bus. She had on a dress shirt over a shirt with no sides, and she wasn't wearing a bra. For some reason she was trying to fix her dress shirt and kept exposing the bottom of one bare breast. I realised I needed to ask her more questions, and once she started talking again she stopped messing with her shirt - and I couldn't pay attention to a word she said. Then the bus came and she didn't sit close to me. I think next time I'm going to have a drink at the bar and not go home alone.

I fell for the STEM meme and I don't even have a job after graduating. Got a single interview after applying to hundreds of jobs. I feel like just forgetting it ever happened and becoming a NEET writer.

this is what they don't tell you about the stem meme, you have to be a true autist to get a good job after graduating, but if you're a true austist you can get a good job without doing a stem degree...

I wasted so much potential. All because I wanted to fit in. By this point my brain is so unused that I think I'm actually becoming dumber by the day. I think about how intelligence can't really be gained, only lost. I could have learned languages or talents or many other things best learned as a kid, but instead I wasted my younger years on things that don't even matter now.
I suppose where I'm at now isn't so bad, but considering where I could be it's leagues off. I wonder if that even matters. However, if I were to have not given in I would not be fun to be around, thus likely making me less successful than I think I could have been.
I wonder why I care about where I "am in life". I'm quite content with having the ability to shitpost, food, and a roof over my head, but still I yearn for...more. More of what? I am uncertain. Probably money.
I know I'm not deep, believe me. I'm just putting words down that can't seem to leave my head in the hopes that maybe they'll stick here instead.
I may need to read self-help books, or something like it. Someone once told me they were a meme though. Life really doesn't seem too appealing by this point, though that may just be a brain chemical thing.
I've met so many people and so many of them have been unappealing. Do I just have high standards? Am I the/an asshole? I can't even ask because nobody gets to know me well enough before I make them leave. The ones I do like I end up pushing away because I fear that I'll taint them with my thoughts and attitude and personality issues. Even here I feel like I'll be persecuted for posting what I think. I haven't even read a book since 2013; why am I here?
Why did OP ask, anyway? Is this a meme on this board? I bet I look pretty autistic if that's the case. I don't even know why I care what some randoms on the internet I'll likely never converse with again think about me, an user.
I'm gonna go to /mu/ now to see what's over there. Maybe something to help.

I had a dream a few nights ago that I, and some people around me whose faces I couldn't see, were plowing through a terrible storm. It was so bad that the wind was driving, and the clouds that blew around us were gray. We seemed to be very close to being totally blown away. When things seemed desperate, and the wind was at its strongest, I dropped to my knees and cried out, "Holy Mother Mary, have mercy on me!" Immediately the storm began to break apart. I looked up and it seemed that Mary herself was in the clouds, parting the storm. Then all became warm and sunny, and everything was at peace.

And then I woke up.

like two weeks ago i fell asleep listening to a lecture on milton, and when i woke up i realized that death is a social construct, but no one is going to understand so i'm not going to bother telling anyone

What a wonderful day

STEM major here, not a prodigal autist.

I just like building shit and learning math despite my constant fight to de-program myself from the public schooling I've endured.
I can't stand watching people waste away watching TV, playing video games, reading books, etc. and not making anything of it, it's just mindless consumption.
I hate to say this in public, but Atlas Shrugged influenced me to blow passive nihilism out my ass and do shit. I'm a pretty masculine-minded chick and I don't fit in well with the sperglords and the "I'm an engineering major because affirmative action gave me a full ride because I'm a dumb bimbo." types, but that's ok.
I can't really see myself working for Monsanto or other evil places wanting to hire people from my major, but what the fuck. I'll have enough technical knowledge to sip beers from my homebrewery on my subsistence farm as the globalist machine collapses or something.
Hopefully.

oh you did chemical engineering? well you can always make lsd

When I'm on my deathbed I know I'm going to have lots of regrets. I spend all my life alone and overthinking everything but once I'm at deaths door I'm going to hate myself. Once I'm there I will realize that I'm wasting my life on stuff that doesn't matter. Every time I weighed up the pros and cons of a situation I was just losing more precious time.Even knowing all this doesn't mean I can prevent it. It should motivate me to live a more risky and extroverted life but I just can't. It's impossible to make the first move. I'm screaming on the inside but on the outside I am blank.

My catharsis of the week: Your either born happy and stay happy, have a contradicting belief system or give up on trying to be happy at all.

jeff bezos always talked about how he lived life on a "regret minimization program" with the goal of having the fewest regrets at death, one of which was if he passed up the internet boom to stay on wall street doing quant finance he would regret it, seems to have worked p well for him, but at the time quitting one of the hottest firms on wall street to start an online bookstore looked absolutely retarded to basically everyone on the planet

wtf pol said i would get banned if i post a mayweather thread, they just deleted, but no ban

I know he's in pain and I can't do anything to help.

He cares about me, I care about him but we're both too afraid to do anything about it. Time will tell, but when we're drunk we can't leave each other's side and we talk about everything. In the daylight hours, we both know its better to be covert about wanting to be in the other's company all the time since people are watching and talking.
Alexithymia - I hope you spare me when that conversation arrives.
I've loved you for years.

fag

I'm working 6 days a week, trying to keep a semblance of a social life and just now am talking up writing. Nothing could possibly go wrong!

>now am talking up writing

freudian slip of the century

I'm gonna say that was $100% intentional and not at all because it's 1AM

kek

First class of the year on Monday morning, 9 AM sharp. Video Production and History of Television for the cinema major, Microeconomics for the business minor, and Child Psychology and Latin as general requirements. We register two different websites of meaningless shit for Microeconomics even though we already use Canvas as a university. It's just so they can make money with tertiary-turned-primary garbage which under 5% of the students will consult, and I won't be in that number.

I took years of Latin in high school, but I'm probably rusty and should review some shit, like how the future-tense verbs switch from -bo... to present-sounding -am... shit when you go into the third conjugation. Also I need to brush up on that gerunds and gerundives and that shit because I remember nothing about it other than that it was a thing.

I feel the same way about people at uni. Everyday in the computer room I see the Asians around me watching brainless shit while I do work. I think what bugs me is that I feel shame and embarrassment when I watch that shit but they watch it with no affect to their conscious. They have no idea how humiliating it should be that they watch dumb you-tubers all day instead of doing something productive or being with friends. Their not very masculine at all but I don't think they even recognize that its a bad thing or that it could be a bad thing. They are so lucky that they were born in a time where masculinity is seen as toxic.
It scares me that I'll most likely spend the rest of my life surrounded by these soulless robots.

2015 is the 2007 of the 2010s

>be me
>decide to check the literature board on 8ch
>scroll through the front page
>see interesting threads
>well thought out posts
>no excessive christfaggotry
>no polfaggotry
>no snarky one-liners
>feel good because i've finally found a nice retard-free place where i can discuss literature
>realize the thread i'm viewing was posted in 2015
life is hell lads

I unironically jerk it to Blacked.

Naw, in the south and the best engineering program available in this part of the country is geared towards machining for agriculture. Is pretty interesting

unironically THIS.

i have a great idea for a phd thesis but the stress of finding funding/applying/finding a tutor etc is putting me off.

plus i don't know if i'll just be broke and unemployed in three years and regret it.

halp.

I'm only 22 and already starting to get tired of life. Does it get any better, lads?

Not at all.

>Does it get any better, lads?
You decide.

:P

Go for it
If you think it's a good thesis idea, do you really think in 3 years time you'll say "Getting a phd was a bad idea"

I do nothing but shitposts on Veeky Forums

I don't have a job, nor friends, nor passions

my parents are getting tired of my leeching so I might finally end it sooner or later. I just don't want to hang myself because that's pathetic, and I don't have access to a gun. Shooting your face is pretty cool way to go out imo

>put head through metal wire noose
>glue hands to head
>jump off stool
>looks like you ripped off your head
>???
>profit

How do blind people wake up?

I don't own any books because I'm afraid my physical space becomes as claustrophobic as my mental architecture

I'm exactly like you except I do have access to a gun

I actually liked it, it was comfy

>will never write good songs because I'm too afraid of them being shit to ever even try
This feel started out small but had boiling up to the point that I'm getting unironically depressed

Every time I see these type of posts, I always want them to be secretly directed at me - as though someone with access to information about a person I want to love me were slyly personifying that person in a post. I like to think of these people acting like Greek gods, attempting to interfere with the lives of mortals, or not mortals, but people with limited computer skills. I like to imagine them, but most of all, I like to imagine that what they post is the truth.

Folks complain about being contradictory with their ideas of themselves, about being unwilling hypocrits, about their dreams not coming true, when those are the things that make life nuanced and exciting.

Tsk-tsk!

Jacques Barzun is great.

They are 8 years apart, after all

What's he on about?

i was going to fap but i couldn't get into it wtf, now i have to decide if i should shitpost or do something productive

That's how it always starts. "One day, I could jerk off." Next thing you know you're receiving the Pulitzer or becoming vice-president. G#d have mercy on your soul.

I have absolutely no fear of rejection, I couldn't care less when a girl looks at me with disgust or indifference; the problem, then, is if I succeed: if I convince some girl to be my girlfriend, then what? I can only imagine trouble, embarrassment and heartbreak.

i can relate, it's like when u suggest to a chick to fuck and shes like "ok" then ur like oh, rly? but i have to clean, and then i have to go to this thing later, and then ur like fucking is such a chore, like when ur in the city on the weekend on u see these chads with hot 9/10 chicks ur liek damn so jelly, but then u think of all the fucking effort that goes into it, it's like meh, i think getting a 10/10 gf is like getting a phd or starting a business, sure everyone could in theory do it, and every says they want it, but lets be real most people are just not going to put in the effort

It's not even about effort, I put effort in my life in general, but about direction.

well that's what i mean, if u really wanted a gf u would have one, soprobably ur a fag or sth

>I have this view, but on friends
Having a GF is far easier than trying to care about someone you're not fucking.
>tfw no gf

I will never write about you if you are expecting me to do it somewhere.

yeah but friends don't randomly break up with you so it's easier to maintain, like if your friend meets a new friend with better banter and more money they don't suddenly tell you to fuck off and die and block ur number, they just invite you along to meet their new friend too

I'm just a bad friend.

>hate highschool
>not many friends
>"I'll have friends in college"
>get to college and everyone's three things they love: "family, friends, and Jesus"
>their interests are youtube and partying
>they look at me strange for reading
>at a fucking University
Holy shit I know I'm kind of arrogant but shit my friends back home drew porn, had weird humor, and thought it was kind of cool I read. It's like I moved to Facebook-twitterville.

wut the fuck kind of god awful school did u enroll in?

I just moved to a a new city for university and it is truly nice. For the first time in my life i'm autonomous and I love it. Things are also going very well socially and i'm rapidly gaining confidence with women.

I'm living in a housing for students so i'm kinda forced to talk with people. As a result, i'm starting to question my introversion since I actually enjoy being social a lot more than I would've guessed.

Overall things are going good. Still seraching for meaning though. Currently reading jung trying to see what's in the depths of my unconscious. Maybe i'll find my purpose there.

>iranian guy gets picked to be new ceo of uber, he's also on the board of directors of the nytimes
>shiite muslim guy on the nytimes board, how is this even possible?
>wife is sydney shapiro

ahh ok it all makes sense now

Jung is pseudoscience

I could get a gf indeed, that's the problem. How to maintain the relationship though?

idk like text them all the time with every stupid thought that pops into your head instead of posting it here, pretty sure that's the key

Middle tier state school that is the best place for the field I want to get into.

People think they're too good these days. We realized how big the world is and how we can be whatever we want because there's a million gods anyways. But culture and religion used to be like the talents and specs that have been tested by entire societies for millions of years. In order to deviate from one, you typically had to be really smart. Now it's 2017 and every starchild is a fucking genius so we have warriors speccing into sub optimal regen talents because they want to be a healer. Which is fine, but we've developed such an ethic of care that if it fails miserably, it's still going to be supported and invested in. We've fucked around on this planet for years and it's been great, but now that it's actually dying and that we can see this, I don't think we should be making such inefficient, fun-zone raid comps.

eh i definitely believe in the mystical and his ideas make a lot of sense to me.

Job. Occupation. Money. Self support. Where to start? The rung that I can get my foot on. Do I go up? Do I get paid to fly planes? To kill in the name of a country and people I love but who's cruel and uncaring elected stewards love us not, those who they represent? Perhaps this is the more pertinent issue. But what can I do, I just want to exist and feel the joy of life, to plant onions in the autumn and feel the wind push at me as I perch atop a whirring combustion engine, to fill my head with the musings of great thinkers who answered the questions that pose themselves to the human soul, to push myself to grow stronger and smarter each day. The joy of children, of a wife, of a unified purpose to equip them to the best of my abilities, some land and shelter to call our own. But where to start and what is the most pressing issue. The rung I can get my foot on.

What ever happened to the Veeky Forums tinychat? Did it move to discord or something? There was a discord but it was shit and run by a sjw. I mean shit maybe its still going - I stopped checking it out like a year ago. But orfeo and svid... I liked talking with those guys.

>tfw extremely hazy and opaque episodic memory
I have virtually zero memory of my magnanimous grandmother who I loved dearly. I mean, I can recall very vague things like how she fed me bologna sandwiches and minutiae like that, but I don't remember a single solitary event regarding her or a single thing she's said to me. Same with everyone else who's came and gone and my life: my childhood dog, the few friends I had, etc. All vanished. It all might as well not have happened. If I live to a certain point, this is what is going to fucking happen when my mother passes, my father, and the several (read: 8) people who are still around in my life right now. When and if I turn 64, I won't be able to reminisce fondly about the good old days and the people I had good times with, because I'll have nothing to go by: my memory will be failing me and as it stands even right now momentos evoke no feelings in me. It will just be one foggy mess.

The original opening sentence of my post was: what's the point in living when I have an extremely hazy and opaque episodic memory? That's melodramatic obviously. But I kind of do feel that way; on top of all the other bullshit going on with me, a poor memory certainly doesn't help my case. Fuck, man. "But user, fuck memory, just live for the moment"- yeah, what do you think I am doing?

Veeky Forums seirously needs a requests general. This state of this board is ridiculous.

People would need to have it in the OP of every other general.

I'm watching a cat stream at 4:30 AM instead of studying the classes I missed
what the fuck is wrong with me

Trump is handling this hurricane about as well as any president would. You can criticize him for plenty of things but I don't think he's done any worse than Obama would given the circumstances.

all you need is a diary desu

Communism is the only thing that can save us. Capitalism is a disease. Floyd Mayweather and McGregor should be hanged and their millions given to anything for the greater good, along with the other bourgies.

I'm so sick of this shitty country. I'm so sick of its cucked retards, too. If you're against communism you are a selfish cunt and should be hanged.

GAS THE BIKES, RACE WAR NOW

Pia mater

can't get you out of myyy mind

>tfw no one mentions floyd touching conor's cock a day before the fight

boxing is gay, that's why wilde was good at it despite fucking queensbury's son.

I need to dedicate myself more to incremental gains than day-to-day life. I have been really missing out. The moment. He was much farther along than me at my age. I have the knowledge, I must only practice and consciously observe my reactions, and supress those which don't serve.

nothing gay about it, it's not like he touched his balls

*with his balls

he attempted it when he turned his back and bent down in the ring but I don't think it happened

27 reporting in, it doesn't