Parents cooking thread

good stuff

my grandma makes some simple chicken dinners but its always good. shame my mom never got that into refining her cooking.

Cheating is awful.
>degenerate
Poltard go back to yoyr containment board.

My moms cooking is usually fine except for her "stew".

I still don't know how she makes it exactly, but it's a stew with chunks of brisket, peas, corn, potatoes. But she always makes the broth/sauce with ketchup. It always comes out as this watery paprika-ish ketchup broth that no sauce or spice seems to fix.

I try to be nice and not hurt her feelings, but it's hard to lie that you like something. I tell her it's just not my favorite dish if hers and she gets butthurt about it even though I like everything else she makes. She says this is a family recipe used in past generations.

...Is stew supposed to be fucking made with ketchup?? I come from a Jewish family and my mom says this stew is the "kosher" style stew and doesn't use milk. Yet I've seen kosher stews that don't use fucking ketchup.

To me, the best tasting stew I've ever had was Guiness stew at my local Irish pub.

Also, she doesn't use any flour in her stew. She says flour isn't necessary.

>I come from a Jewish family
not to be alt right as fuck, but thats your problem. im sure she has the best intentions, but jew moms suck at cooking. sorry.

Let it go user.

I'm so fucking baffled how do you cook with ketchup as an adult no less

>No.
he doesnt deserve that. he made my mom quit her job, quit college, work as a receptionist at his job, and suck up to him even when he hid all his money during the affair. he deserves shit

also he is a mouth breather so thats that

If you want to feel more triggered, my dad likes to put ketchup on steak.

Hey man that's whatever. I mean one thing is putting ketchup on shit, I can accept that. But cooking with it is just beyond me

Come taste my friend's mother's challah and you'll start seeing why his father ever married that whiny bitch

>Just before I moved in, my boyfriend tells me that he doesn't like beef or pork, and even chicken was iffy.
>Love cooking
>Come from a very German family where meat is the base of every meal.
>Wtf am I supposed to cook??
>"Will you try my food if I cook with those things? At least once?"
>"Of course, but no promises whether I'll like it or not. "
>Make a pork roast
>"Is this fully cooked? How is it so moist? "
>"Yup. I just didn't overcook it to shit dude."
>Turns out his mom kind of hates food/cooking
>Overcooks all meat to shit because paranoid about food poisoning.
>Now have pork, chicken, or beef with dinner every night
>He loves my cooking

tfw not white

What is it with mothers and overcooking? Also post dick

>jew moms suck at cooking. sorry.

It depends. My mom makes good chicken cutlets, chili and meatballs. It's just her stew that sucks.

My boyfriend comes from a Jewish family too, but I personally think his mom makes better dishes than mine. She came from a German Jewish family so shes cooks stuff like schnitzel, spätzle, etc.

I do think a lot of traditional Jewish food sucks though.

His or mine? Gonna have a problem with at least one of those.

I fucking love challah bread. Makes for the best french toast

I have no idea what my mom did for 8 hours a day when my brother and I were in school, because for someone with no job and dedicated cleaning days, she would wait EVERY DAY until AFTER she picked us up to run returns to the mall, get the car washed, pick out new curtains, grocery shop, etc, so I wouldn't even step foot in my house until 6pm.

Needless to say, there wasn't much cooking involved. The best food came from my grandmother who packaged everything in milk cartons or old butter containers. My dad COULD grill but he was always paranoid about undercooking anything and worked late 3 nights a week. I grew to only like fast food or shitty canned food because everything else was under-seasoned, overcooked, and I don't even know if I had beef, pork, or fish more than a handful of times a year. They never roasted vegetables.I The only "trends" that caught on in my house were baking, marinades for chicken (thank god), and the one year my dad was obsessed with his bread maker. It's amazing I didn't get diabetes with my sugary cake breakfasts, fast food, and regular kid snacking.

>"Pepsi or Milk to Drink?"
That's to drink for dinner, every day,

My SO's mom can cook, but hates it, and usually spaces out during the entire process so her food is inconsistent, and since she diets, we would get like 1/4 of the portion you'd have the appetite for.

I don't know what it is about Baby Boomer Mom's, as long as the house is a musuem for their shitty decorations, they feel their job is done.

Eating lots of meat is not a good thing. Not for you and not for the rest of us. You made a poor choice.

I started cooking at about 14 because of the unbelievably awful standard of cooking in my house. I once witnessed my mom cook chicken in water. No not poached, she took a pyrex dish, put a boneless, skinless chicken breast in, pour a bit of water in and put it in the oven for 40 minutes. No seasoning, no nothing.

I love my parents, but my mom was not a good cook. She bought pre-made food you just put in the oven, would make everything bland on purpose so "the person eating it can season themselves", make generic food smothered in cheese and oil, etc.

I'm not even as extravagant of a cook, but I mastered spices when I was a vegetarian for a few years. I make simple things that are seasoned well, not overcooked, not tasteless bread smothered in oil and cheese, etc.

The more I think about it, it's probably just because my parents were so busy all the time. I can't blame them.

You reckon that's bad, my mum used to boil steak. Fuck sakes anons. Who version of cooking was chuck something in the pan, on high, and come back one the house feeling up with smoke reminded her she was cooking. Happened all the time. Wasn't until i cooked some steak at a friends place and his brother while watching me was like "who the fuck taught you how to cook steak". My journey started from there.

.....I've read a lot of things over the years but this is so baffling.

My mom turns meat dry in the crockpot somehow

>Mom made beef stew
>Its just potatoes, onions, carrots, and chunks of beef
>Doesn't taste like anything
>Isn't this so good user? New york times has the best recipes!
>Have to listen to her crack her jaw and chew with her gob open for 30 minutes
>Nothing has any taste at all, its just like eating plain boiled veggies
>Except the beef, which somehow tastes like it was burnt without any kind of crust forming
Every time with that woman. Swear to god she panics if she so much as sees an herb.

Oh well. :)

>this thread

I know taste is subjective, but I will never understand how some parents or some people in general, think cooking like this tastes good.

>grew up on hotdogs/hamburgers/pasta
>'finish everything on your plate' household
>brothers are all fat as shit, one 300 the other almost 500
>im the black sheep because I'm 160 and do all own cooking instead of buying frozen or processed or fastfood
On thanksgiving I made a lovely tossed romane heart salad and a side of roasted broccoli and califlower which they fucking loved but couldn't understand the concept of portions.
>user that was really good but next time put more salt on it and make 3x as much!

Not my own parents but my sister and brother-in-law don't cook. They constantly only eat take out, fast food or prepackaged meals because they both work and cooking "takes too long".

Both my nephews are picky eaters. One is 18 and the other is 11. The 18 year old is not so bad, but still eats kinda crappy. Like not having lettuce or tomato on a burger. The 11 year old however, is the pickiest fucking eater ever.

Today, the family went to Millers Ale House, which for anyone not familiar with it, it's s chain restaurant similiar to Friday's, Applebees, etc. The 11 year old only wanted a plain chicken sandwich with nothing on it.
My mom asks my sister "why is he such a picky eater?"
My sister and brother-in-law said "he just is"

Both my mom and I think it's just their shitty parenting habits. Like this kid is so picky, he won't touch any vegetable. He won't drink milk unless it's a milkshake. He doesn't like peanut butter. He doesn't like "crunchy" cookies, only the chewy chips ahoy style cookies. I'm surprised the kid isn't obese, but maybe it's because he barely eats anything. I'm just worried these habits will go into adulthood.

I don't think it matters much to them, as long as the food is on the table. My family cooked like poor people and never took interest in improving until recently.

My pet peeve now is my dad will try something new, enjoy it, but anything that's fresh, has an ingredient he hasn't heard of, or is made by someone under the age of 50 is "Hipster".

"Yeah, they serve next to a place that roasts their own coffee. Very hipster". I took him to a breakfast place that serves regular, good breakfast items, seasonal pancakes, french toast, omlettes, but the girl that took our order had a nose piercing and there was limited seating. "Hipster". Won't go back without me. To his credit, he'll try almost anything but I don't know why he needs to proclaim this.

500 pounds?

i never understand this

Well I like to think everyone exaggerates.

I was like that as a kid because I hated the textures, it was never about the taste for me.

God I hate fat people.

I love my dad, and I don't know if it's because he's retired and bored, but he has an obsession with food. He thinks normal portions are "child portions". He's not morbidly obese but he's got a big belly and is a diabetic who takes 3 shots of insulin a day. We can't buy a bag of cookies for the house because he'll end up eating the whole bag. He gets defensive and says he doesn't eat that many cookies, but he doesn't realize that eating one cookie in the morning and one in the afternoon every day will empty the bag very quickly. It's like he's not aware how many times he snacks.

Meanwhile my mom is the opposite. She's actually lost almost 40 pounds because she changed her eating habits. But my dad is just so embarrasing at this point. If we go to a restaurant, he'll finish his meal. If anyone has a little bit of food leftover on their plate, he'll ask if he could eat it. He can't see food wasted.
He'll also constantly push food on us if we're not hungry.
>"do you want any chicken?"
>"no thanks Dad, we just came back from a big dinner"
>"Are you sure? There's plenty here"
>"yes I'm surr. Thank you but we're not hungry"
>15 minutes pass
>"Are you sure you don't want any chicken"
>at this point I feel like screaming
>"YES I'M SURE"

Yeah but at least you grew out of it. My older nephew, who is now 18, I think still won't eat ice cream. When he was younger, he wouldn't eat it because it was "too cold" and it would "hurt his teeth".
He would also get paranoid about any seasoning on his food. When we'd go to a restaurant, he would examine his mac n' cheese very closely and ask "what are these tiny black dots?" and then be afraid to eat it. The tiny black dots were just black pepper.

>"too cold" and it would "hurt his teeth".
You know this is a real thing right? If someone says something hurts them don't roll your eyes and call them a bitch, you jackass.
>examining tiny black dots in his food
A clear sign that the kid is not an idiot.

Now I have a friend who doesn't like mustard because as a kid he thought it was 'mouse-turd'. THAT is dumb.

>A clear sign that the kid is not an idiot.

I know he's not an idiot, but it's still a rude thing to do.

>mom would always overcook chicken until it was absurdly dry
>dad praised the food no matter what even if it was obviously bad or if there were apparent flaws

why???????????????????

>the person eating it can season themselves
This pisses me off the most. It's kinda true but goddamn. That doesn't mean the food has to be tasteless.
Dad even says that salt absorbs the juices so you never should salt meat before cooking. Which is right, but you don't eat it straight out of the pan for fuck's sakes dad.

I had a similar experience with salmon, mom would always take salmon fillets, season them ONLY with black pepper and bake them for way too long. Not until recently when I started cooking salmon myself have I started liking it again.

Maybe he ate ants once and doesn't want that to happen again.

Love is a hell of a drug

It's rude to inspect your food at a fucking fastfood tier chain restaurant which I assume is chillies or applebees? WDHMBT?

This didn't happen with my Mum or Dad but my best friend of 17 years was a fucking damn terrible cook because when he was young he would only eat what he wants and his mum wouldn't give him anything he wouldn't eat so he basicly lived of off fried chicken, grilled cheese sandwichs and any chocolates and cakes from the store. Like when we use to be room mates he nearly set fire to the apartment flat once as he didn't know how to cook bacon on a oven grill and was to embarrassed to ask how.

they did NOT love each other

honesty is an important part of a relationship

I almost died twice as a kid while eating my friend's parents cookings. Their mother did the cooking and everything was overcooked and unseasoned. One time when I was there for sleepover I had a chance to eat their home made meals to find out why my friend didn't like it at all and instead consumed school lunches and juck food rather than his mother's cookings.
This one time they had unseasoned and overcooked pork chops with neutralized vegetables. I still don't know to this day how she managed to overcook the vegetables by boiling them to that point, where they lost all texture, flavour and colour. When I was eating some mixed vegetables, I couldn't even recognize the flavour and I would just describe it was "vegetably". Thus why neutralized.

Don't even get me started on those saharan dry pork chops which nearly killed me twice. First time I tasted them, I sort of accidentally complained about them being dry and unseasoned as I rubbed my throat. The next bite in my mouth sucked all the moisture and spit as I swalloed it. As I reached for third bite, my throat was already dry like a whore's pussy so as I swalloed it, that pork took all moisture in my throat before getting stucked and lodged there.

I tried to wave my hands at my throat to imply that I'm about to fucking choke and die just to hear ranting from the mother about how uncooked pork kills, causes diseases and how seasoning something makes it unhealthy. I started to lose conciousness and heard my face was going blue. I dropped to the ground and the father rushed to me and saved my life by using the Heimlich Maneuver. That pork just ejected from my mouth and I rushed to the sink to grab water as I felt like I haven't had liquid for days.

Next day we were watching movie on the couch and the mother would make chicken sandwich, which was just two pieces of bread and overcooked & unseasoned chicken breast between. I took few bites before almost choking to death and yet again dad rushed to save me.

>it's rude to look before you leap
RIP human race.

Not to get all armchair psychologist, but did he grow up poor or with otherwise inconsistent access to food?

My mom was a horrible cook before my parents divorced but she learned quickly. Still, when she remarried and our family grew her cooking did get lazier (as in, just throw shit in the oven to bake) but it was still palatable albeit sometimes bland/dry meats..

Dad was always a top cook though, some of the fondest food related memories from my childhood was my dad's pork wok and his 10/10 scrambled eggs he'd make every weekend.

My mother-in-law is the laziest cooks I know, lazy in general, I would say. I have no idea how my girlfriend is so active around the house with a mother like this, maybe by necessity.

>oily ground beef erryday
>dry cornmeal couscous erryday
>oversalts everything she touches
>kitchen is always DISGUSTING and completely disorganized
>pays some girl to do a half-assed job of cleaning it every weekend (it goes back to being filthy in 3 days tops)
Now get ready
>she prepares chicken and steak by dumping half a bottle of soybean oil on a pan, throwing the pieces inside and frying them until they are as well done as it gets
>serves them in a glass bowl almost floating in oil

You get a piece and it will have a full, thick coat of oil, always dripping. Whenever I have to eat there, I always say that me and my girlfriend will make her a meal as a gift so she won't get near the kitchen.

Is she a lawyer or doctor? What the fuck

They have a Mart, but she has no excuses to be like this, since my father-in-law does 90% of the work.

>>No matter what dad cooks, he always adds tons of lard to "give it flavor"
same, but replace lard with red wine

>Mom hates coffee
>Dad hates proper coffee, only drinks the cheapest instant coffee, and easily 6-7 cups a day
>Grow up thinking I hate coffee, since I hated the shit we had at home
>try some real nice coffee at a coffeehouse
wtf i love coffee now

>mom makes homemade square pizza
>peanuts, banana, chicken, curry

Might not want to say that here

Inb4
>only a fool yada yada

Not op but fuck right off. Cheating in marriage is a breach of contract and is therefore “degenerate” regardless of what board on this nepalese goat trading forum you call home. Faggot

That’s awfully ambiguous. You have a dick don’t you

He'll shoot you too

You dont own the other person.

>live with single mother
>dependent on drugs and alcohol for past 6 years
>life spirals out of control
>dates abusive bad boys
>brings random men to house
>gets drunk and wasted (complains about not having money)
>starts cooking random shit at midnight

>crumbs on the floor
>food left out
>food left all over pans and utensils
>glasses left out with alcohol left in them
>burnt plastic on still hot burners
>food containers left out and open
Wakes up and pretends nothing happened. Doesn't even leave any for me.

Chances are you are the reason your mother is like that.

Wow dude thats shitty

>I come from a Jewish family
Serves you right

>being this buttmad over being a Poltard
>to stupid to read I was a against cheating.
Another poltard...

Mom used to make "granny tacos" as she called them. They were burritos. Wraps, actually, she doesn't know how to roll a burrito. Unmelted cheese and lukewarm beans inside a cold tortilla. If everyone didn't pretend it was amazing she would have a meltdown. I think she's fucking borderline.

I'm not a sadist and I'm not here to make you feel better about being an asshole, try someone else, friend.
I'm dope as shit and have been busting my ass off trying to get out of this woman's clutches for years. It all gets wore when I come home from uni, and she breaks down every time someone leaves her life. And deep down she knows I'm the only fucker in this world who can even remotely handle her stupid shit.

My mom cooks very little for me for as long as i can remember. She would eat taco bell, and taco mayo and a place called taco tico routinely, at the time i was ok with it loved tacos ect. She also ate mcdonalds alot sometimes some sonic. Basically i was raised on fast food. When my mom did cook it was either simple mac and cheese, or pork chops. Thats it.... Looking back now i see why people hate socialism and single moms, they get benefits, ruin their finances, dont know how to cook or take responsibility ect. My mom literally complains and nags every day, about trivial shit, makes me want to see a third world war just to shake her out of her rat race routine. The bitch complains about work, and working all the time excessive hours, yet she works overtime. Idk but single moms, and single women in general seem to be cancer.

I literally keep a stock of minced garlic, i buy onions, i have every spice imaginable, i have 7 different types of oil. And i take pride in cooking, i may not be perfect i cook for myself and 3 people atleast 4 times a week or more. But i do cook good, people are impressed, im the best in a multi-generational extended family, im the guy they come to for thanksgiving no thanks to my mother or socialism.

So your parents never cooked? Not a reason to brag.

Ownership is irrelevant. See
>contract

Cheating is fine if you are okay with divorce imo

Got me.

She made sure you were fed enough to be here today to talk shit about her, you fucking ungrateful piece of garbage.

I feel you bro. Same on just about every fucking level, except both sides of my family is lost in the first world and can't relate to anything outside of their own circle of attentions and I don't fucking talk to about 99% of them and could care less about doing so.
Mother eats out almost every day and cooks random bullshit concoctions like she's pregnant. I'm cooking meals I take massive amounts of pride in with massive amounts of effort given.
>Mom, can I have some money to get us some food
>"Money's tight right now..."
>What did you eat today?
>"I went out to eat with a friend."
>mfw

Good possibility by the sound of it

Not the same guy, cant control anyone, but do you have any morals? Cheating is "degenerate" when married you are basically agreeing to a contract, to cheat is shitty. Just get a fucking divorce ffs

It's our life, high horse.

go back to /r9k/

>british girlfriend
>she has the same aversion to loads of things as a result of british "cooking" methods
>is always amazed at how flavorful and moist everything I cook is (even though I'm average at best and just follow recipes and use a cooking thermometer)
We went to her house for Christmas dinner and the kitchen was something else. No seasonings besides salt, pepper, and pre-made steak seasoning. The freezers were absolutely stuffed to the brim with ready-made garbage. Fridge was full of macro brews. They're nice folks but they don't have the strongest cooking tradition it seems.

No.. gainfully employed taxpayers did

>Mom, can I have some money to get us some food
>>"Money's tight right now..."
>>What did you eat today?
>>"I went out to eat with a friend."
>>mfw

Get a fucking job then. don't bitch about her not giving you money.

aversion to certain foods and specifically food textures is a symptom/sign of autism

My mother was a mediocre cook despite never actually working until I was about 13 and she only ever started working because she was bored.
I have no idea what she did all day.
My father never cooked until they divorced at which point it turned out he actually was a very good cook although I assume he learned that skill purely to help him pick up women.

Almost the same
I quit working and became a neet around 2014-15 range, when i discovered basically everyone but me got socialism, and welfare. I also found out i would owe in penalties for Obamacare ect, so i quit my job, wife and i moved into parents land out in the country, I get a nice mobile home move in get /comfy/. I cook for everyone, no one is capable of cooking, mom cant really cook , grandpa is too old and was a trucker/retiree that always ate out or home cooked meals. Wife's parents are leftists hippies that never taught her to cook. So i learnt, i cook everything from German/Hungarian cuisine, to Italian, greek, Indian and Thai food, can even cook Chinese. Using raw ingredients, starting to make my own sushi, and learn about my white ancestors cuisine. My mom is like a child compared to me its fucking sad.

She was always great at destroying potential hahaha

Making challah is how my wife and I met. It's good stuff even without the memories.

I kind of want a borderline girl for a wife so she will cling relentlessly to me and this I do t have to worry about her branch swinging. But that facet of the disorder troubles me and gives me pause.

Possibly. His father died when he was 12 and his mother was mentally ill from what I've heard. My dad gtfo as soon as he turned 18 and joined the army. He's a Vietnam veteran and also a former FDNY fire captain. He's gone thru some shit.

My parents made sandwiches with shittons of mayonnaise growing up. I still hate mayo to this day.

So you think its ok to eat fast food literally every day not once but 2-3 times a day from ages 9-14 is ok, i didnt include she lived like a damn hoarder, and had mcdonalds cups and nats covering every surface in the household. I moved into grandparents house at age 14-15 or so.