Reading on the toilet

So taking your time and reading a book actually prevents hemorrhoids?

Shitting when you need to instead of forcing it does. If taking a shit is a battle for you you need to take a look at your diet and drug use.

When I was around 13 years old my mother attended parents' evening at school and the teacher I had a crush on asked if I read much at home and my mom said "you read on the toilet don't you, he's in there for hours sometimes!". It really embarrassed me and all I could was mumble and blush. Those hours spent reading Harry Potter etc on the toilet were, however, among the best moments in an otherwise shitty childhood.

It's true about the toilet style being unhealthy. India ironically has the best stance for shitting, which is to squat and squeeze. For the sake of aesthetics and decorum however I refuse to do that, though as a consequence I have a pretty bad haemorroid at the age of 24. I mean it's big, and what's worse is that whenever I strain while defecating it sort of inflates to the point where it looks like a bubble of purply red shit is hanging out of my ass. Probably the size of a gobstopper which has been licked a bunch of times then abandoned. My father took a look and recommended I tie a rubber band around it a couple of times so that it loses circulation and "drops off" as he said, but that doesn't seem like a normal procedure in this case. Either way I now have to hold that sucker to the side while taking a number two. My girlfriend luckily is very submissive and enjoys being treated like trash so she doesn't mind it and has a huge thing for eating out a guy's (mine and also her various ex's) shitoris. But no, not good to sit that way while defecating. My stomach is also traumatized as a result.

Bugs... you should eat something

i wishi could please a woman like that

bugs...lay on the carrots

Bugs..hard on the carrots
storrac eht no drah..sguB

>reading while walking down the street

It's all acting, she's a pornstar for a reason

what about the other eleven videos, are they acted too?

i'm a fast pooper

no time to read while TCB

bugs needs more fiber in his life

Damn Bugs looks like that?

he's a dead meme

what is this fucking bugs meme
it's really bugging me desu

...Is this kino?

>t. anons that don't wipe properly and walk around with poo in their bums all day

Just don't go too hard with the tongue, and be sure to pull back the hood gently. Surround the clitoris with your lips in the shape of a tight-o, really, and suck or lick. I also pretend to write out the alphabet because it gives variance whilst I can put my mind on something else.

Unless, of course, you're an incel.