Help me get fucked up

I need to get fucked up but can't stand the taste of alcohol for the life of me.

What are the easiest-to-drink cocktails you fags know?

Plz help

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Just down a few shots of 80 proof and stop being a fucking pussy

Huff some varnish.

Your choice of soda and Everclear

distilled spirits + some kind of sugar is the easiest way.
You could also drink like 30 beers or 3 bottles of wine

White rum 1/3, v8fusion tropical blend 2/3 on the rocks with lime juice squeezed in. Leave the rind in the drink. Feel free to chastise me in 6 weeeks when you realize you are broke and have developed diabetes and a physical dependence on alcohol

Whiskey + coke. Very easy to down.

what defines a cocktail?
does it have to have three ingredients or something?

Poor the alcohol in your butt and hold it there for a few minutes.

You know what a cocktail is you pedantic faggot

Drink a bottle of Robitussin.

vodka and cranberry juice just add more just till you cant taste the vodka

Gin and tonic tastes like sprite, mixing vodka and orange juice will completely hide the taste of vodka and those smirnoff ice things just taste like something you'd drink as a child.

just drink some moscato like the fag you are

Drink some cisco with sprite, one of the 32 oz bottles will obliterate any inexperienced drinker

He's not joking. This is legit. Only way my gf will drink alcohol. Shit's dangerous, though.

everclear and welch's grape juice, AKA purple passion. Known to anesthetize entire frat houses in one fell swoop.

Hawaiian Punch, Red Gatorade, Everclear/Vodka

If at a bar, Singapore Sling, vodka sidecar, Campari and soda. A lot of cocktails on a bar menu aren't very bitter or rough.

amaretto sour

You need to be 18 to post here

when I was 14 I was drinking black vodka w lime
so sweet, it disgusts me now.

>can't stand the taste of alcohol for the life of me

man up faggot

...

Go to a glory hole and suck a bunch of dudes off.

Aids will fuck you up big time

Aqua Velva. I make it 3:2:3 vodka, blue curacao lemonade (Schweppes). Garnish with a cocktail cherry.

- 1 liter of grasovka vodka, make sure its from Poland and has grass inside. Outside poland they making artificial flavors for it, you will get hangover.
- 2 bootles of vermouth: dry and sweet
- dozen of cloves, boil them in a bit of water
- oranges, lemons, lime, slice them
- coke as much as you need to not feel alcohol

This stuff is sweet tasty and hits really hard. You may also add more pure vodka, or grasovka. Damn now i want to make it.

I knew a girl that would mix beer with apple juice. Try that, since you sound like a girl.

This guy ain't kidding.Anal administration route will lead to the alcohol being absorbed faster, it won't go through the liver and it can't be vomited out.

You'll literally get fucked up by the alcohol and might even die.

lemon shots are kind of innocuous, or there's the chilled tequila followed immediately by the lime suck. I like a frozen rumplemintz shot sometimes for the bracing refreshment of mint.

I think frozen drinks hide alcohol proof pretty well. I don't know if you'd like some mango puree and banana with your rum daiquiri, or if you'd prefer a pina colada, or a zombie or plantars punch, margarita, or who knows? Vodka is the sneaky alcohol you don't taste much, so look for your favorite mixers and again consider it very very cold from the freezer.

Beer enjoyment can be introduced with lots of lime squeezes, think corona, or the orange in a wheat beer. Wine spritzers are thinned out and also feature some citrus addition. Sangria well made at home, with a nice dry wine, but with the addition of good amounts of fresh squeezed and diced fruit and lots of grand marnier can get lethal proof and not taste much more than fruit juice.

It's still eggnog season, get a really thick one, and spike it with a very dark rum. I like a kahlua and cream pretty well, tastes like ordinary iced coffee to me.

Sub the rum out for cheap vodka mixed at 50% juice and 50% vodka with a pint glass filled with ice.
Also, fruit medley is the correct choice for V8 Splash in this recipe.
>t. 37 year old functional alcoholic who hates the taste of alcohol

Vodka and anything fruity.

gin or whiskey.

>won't go through the liver

The entire reason that method works is because of the hepatic portal system, you idiot.