Describe this latrine

Twas' an isolated shitter; a little island of warm, pleasureful shitting in a sea of frosty, bitter ice. Many a man who there shat, there only shat for the rest of his time on this Earth, they say. The famous writer Albert McGoose is said to have written many of his best romances there, and also some poetry, but the verses are said to be quite crappy. Very well my lad - I must go unload my buttocks - farewell!

inside is yellow :)

Dey go wee in the heavy cold box den the winta place.

It's a bizarre kind of hut, with a rectangular door and a triangular design that leaves a big triangular hole above the door, in a middle of a snow covered, otherwise barren landscape.

Behold, the barren, white horizon yields to a single, jarring speck that becomes a pyramid when neared. It was a tribute, erected by hands in praise of their fecal gods.

Lousely chuddled in the foam.

Ice-covered walls with a yellowish hue
By many frost-shrunken schlongs were imbued.

A sigh of relief - there was the latrine, plopped itself like an icicle turd in the snow covered field. Whichever unfortunate shitter had trudged from the house to relieve themselves last had left the door ajar.

So it goes.

A shithole surrounded by snow in the middle of nowhere that only the most desperate or foolhardy would use.

For all the vanities of woman and man
shall plunge to the lowest plumbed depth,
shall sink from mirrored sight,
shall shower then stall, neither hot nor cold,
incommodious strain snaking, swirling,
heading for base relief.

What struck me more profoundly than the stiflingly cold air was an outhouse, stuck up out of the earth like the pointed top of a rugged Norwegian cabin, buried in the snow.

Sets a very distinct mood

A triangle fucking shitting place in the middle of infernal ice. Fucking stupid.

AND THEN A SOUND LIKE A TERRIBLE RUSHING WIND RANG OUT AND ALL AROUND FOR MILES ON END FROM LITTLE BABES AT THEIR MOTHER'S BREAST TO OLD MEN FELLING TREES FOR THE WINTER AHEAD DID YOU HEAR THE SPIRIT OF TRUTH AS IT SANG LIKE A CLEAR FLUTE ACROSS A STILL LAKE WITH NAE A SMELL OR A SOUND OF BODILY NATURE DETECTED. ALL WHO HEARD THIS AMPLIFIED SOUND THIS PAEN OF LOVE AND RAGE WERE INSTANTLY PURIFIED AND FLOATED TOWARD A GREATER COMMUNION WITH THE RECYCLED EPHEMERA OF EXISTENCE!

Oh, the weather outside is frightful,
But I've got to shit something mightful
And there's only one place to go,
BRRRRAAAAAAPP BRAAAAPPPP BRRRRRAAAAPPPPP

The outhouse was out in the field, farther from the cabin than you would expect. The cabin was old and the shitter had probably moved around over the years. As I walked towards it I imagined all the covered holes under my feet, centuries of hardy fur trappers squatting in little wooden tipis shitting all over the Indian land while the wind howled outside slandering the white man. I went inside it, a simple A-frame with a hole above the door, squatted while looking at the sky and started swaying my hips. I had been saving this log for days. As the tip started protruding I took out my little half pint, had a drink and softly started chanting. "This one's for you, shitswithwolves!" I yelled as half the log broke off and dropped down into the darkness, landing with a soft thud ten feet below. What did they wipe their asses with back in the day?

In a cold wasteland, far far away from the world, lay a lonely latrine. It stood proudly, triangularly, with a lone swing door at its front. No one had used the latrine for 37 years, and the last man who did had died. He was still in the latrine. That's why no one else had used it.

This was pretty great

Shit was falling softly upon the Bog of Allen

Scansion, friend:
>But the colon's sorely tight full

The outhouse made him think of this penis. Not just the shape of it, though he did bend rather oddly, nor its diminutive size, though he was slightly below the average, nor was it the fact that it was covered in white, rather it looked quite similar to the outhouse he'd been in when his uncle Jack grabbed his penis.

Good
Way too purple and unreadable, would be okay if you trimmed it to shit
Overloaded with shapes
Great
>infernal ice
Trying too hard
Like it
Absolutely love it
Hi Murakami

Tad on the purple side, but still good. i'd suggest abridgind a bit - like removing the long sealskin - icepick etc. stuff. Maybe say that some things remain to distrubing to describe or even don't say at all cause hm msome things remain too disturbing to say .. :P

A spire commanding a backdrop of pure desolation. The last bastion for free flowing thought whilst popping a frozen squat.

I'm doing that thing, now, where one shifts from foot to foot. The snow isn't crunching so much as groaning, "rheumatically."

And I understand now what he meant when he called it - the outhouse - "pretty much ridiculous. Infuriating." It's a triangle, let's start there, sort of like two playing cards leaning together and terminating in an angle so maddeningly acute it actually resembles a child's drawing of a tepee.

How shoddy does an outhouse have to be to not be the most attractive defecatory option in a stretch of field so flat and unprivate one could jump on one's toes and see three counties over?

The door hangs open in a fashion that's whatever the antonym of "invitingly" is.

Standing there, blowing into one's stinging hands, engaging one's entire core and posterior chain, hip adductors, like everything sacrum-down inclusive, squeezing hard to prevent putting whatever atrocious and I'm so sorry to have to say effervescent mess that's been backed up to one's cecum since three days ago all down the backs of one's legs and falling into one's Chippewahs, like wet sand.

There's heavy planks on the door nailed in a "Z". Zetaform isn't a word, I don't think. I'm associating the architectural gestalt of the latrine with the kind of "A" you'd see written in red crayon by an entire chubby fist.

This is the third-closest I have been in my adult life to shitting myself and I feel like I'm heading straight for cyanosis of the dick.

I sat on the icy seat, it was cold. The air in the latrine was warmer than the outside, and there was no wind. The turd in my arse was felt like it was frozen from all the cold. I pulled out the scrap of dress I held onto, it smelt like trees.

Reply to my post you little shit.

Imagine the pit in that thing, I don't think any decomposing happens so it must be filled with frozen shits of all shapes and sizes.

A tusk posing for the camera on top of the ice.

Somewhere in northern Sweden.

>t's a triangle, let's start there, sort of like two playing cards leaning together and terminating in an angle so maddeningly acute it actually resembles a child's drawing of a tepee.

This is the most striking image in the thread.

>How shoddy does an outhouse have to be to not be the most attractive defecatory option in a stretch of field so flat and unprivate one could jump on one's toes and see three counties over?

the shitter of our discontent

The little latrine had privacy from the rest of hunters, but not from the cold. When you heard the wooden door shrieking it only meant one thing: someone would come back to the cabin cursing everything between Heaven and Earth and specially that fucking latrine.

Latrine was too charitable a term for it; a frost-stiffened door stood infront of him wedged between what comprised both the walls and roof. Not a bathroom, not a toilet, not an outhouse, not even a shit-house.There was no pretense of comfort there; it was a shitter.

In the stillness and silence of the white ,
unfolds an ungodly scene ,
a scene that would send the boldest of the sabine
Cowering to the pontifical Rome in fright

There unminding of the living
waits a line of spirits
as the living sit in thanksgivingw
whose patience is without its merits

Some shaking in empty cowls
and some holding what once were bowels
waiting for a chance to let go
what is inside all of us and is not ours.

the door opens, and out of the triangle appears,
a satisfied spirit with newpaper in hand
"The Purgatory Times ", everyone cheers
been closer to the releasing wonderland

The wooden triangle is still
and the line of the dead grows thinner
the wind is dry and chill
whispering in the bones of the undone
Whispers against the dry wood of the lonely latrine
somewhere far away from the sun

Veeky Forums only has one adjective in it's vocabulary: autistic.

poopoo peepee cold butt while doing a big poop

>Overloaded with shapes
Yeah, you got a point there. Also, nice double dubs!

'Twas like a little cuckshed

Probably the best in this thread. Were you inspired by someone's style?

Idk if this ironic but ty if sincere.

I dont write fiction often but i usually like being direct and concise from doing essays. Seems like describing a thing has to maintain focus rather than use it as an excuse to wax poetic about a half dozen things.

Plus i cant imagine people who live far north doing diamond mining and shit refer to anything as a bathroom instead of something vulgar and to the point.

Not ironic. You got the shit, bruh. I'll try to copy the spirit of your style.

kek

I’m actually elated to be the one you absolutely loved. Thanks user. I didn’t think anyone would read it.

In the snows a triangle latrine located itself.
Inside squatted Aryaarryaiaiaya.
The stench was carried back to the camp on the knife's edge of the cold air as another violent squirt splattered down between her feet.
She softly groaned. Gwargua watched an eagle pass overhead, and witnessed a small turd drop from the sky.

Mein sides

>It was a gay little shack out in the snow.

Is a turd colder than the polar poop-palace it occupies? The supercooled splash of frigid shit liquid kissed the answer across two-dozen bare asses belonging to the Antarctic Task Force.

Here was an insane thing; an outhouse in the middle of a perma-frosted tundra. It was silly in every respect. The ground was too solid to dig more than an inch, so wastes piled up in its high, 3 feet-foot tall bucket to be crunched by desperate and delirious men's boots. The angle at which the two walls of the outhouse met, 65 degrees, was too narrow for the door frame to properly fit but somehow the door still managed to open. The outhouse was crazy in every respect.
Is this good?

Full of shit

The white swallowed the landscape. He's gonna get a surprise when he goes out lol.

WE MADE THE PYRAMIDS AND SHIT

Clamy buttcheeks pinched tight. Was it shit?

three walls and a door to hell that wouldn't fucking shut

Too Reddit-y

you are s(h)itting in the the latrine as the last man on earth

there's a knock on the door

"who's there?" you respond

"is this some sort of joke?" the voice implores

you open the door, and see nothing for miles, not even footprints.

;_;

Less shitty than Twin Peaks.

eh did it again!