Tfw you're proof-reading your own erotica story and it's actually getting you hard

Keep fine tuning it, its a matter of finding the sweet spot where they harmonize. Ride the tiger

Fujoshi stuff or no?

I'm not enough of a weeb to actually know what that means but if Wikipedia is accurate, it's not slashfic/fanfic bs but it is "homosexual relationship within a story that does not have homosexual themes" sort of.

Genre/speculative fiction which happens to revolve around a NotGay manly man and his DoesntMatterIfHesGayCauseHesGettingFuckedAnyway girly bf

>tfw you're joyce and proof-read the fart letters for publication

nice trips
i want to write some pretentious and experimental hyperviolent hardcore gay sex for a project i'm working on, but as i'm hetero myself, it's pretty clumsy
what would you recommend to get it right?

go out and have some hyperviolent hardcore gay sex

would you recommend killing someone to write a good murder mystery? or become a wizard to write a good fantasy book?

>english degree
>gay porn

how has no one made a joke about this? too obvious?

No, I'd recommend solving a murder to write a good mystery story. Everyone should aspire to be a wizard.

M-me too, user.

When I was 20, I wrote a pretentious and experimental postmodernist retelling of Dorian Gray where all the characters fuck like rabbits. I recently unearthed it on my old laptop and read a scene I'd written in which Lord Henry character eats the Dorian character's ass while they do coke and listen to Stravinsky. It was a very surreal experience.

>>Mary twinkled her pussy between her legs like a star becoming a black hole, as her giant dildo made her gape such that not even a very lubed up midget could escape from the inexorable singularly
Ftfy

not helping
moar
less

I can't believe I wrote the phrase
>I lance my tongue into the little velvet wound of Mr. Gray's anus
unironically

Excerpts or it didn't happen.

i heard from a couple of folks that they make a living selling their erotica on amazon self publishing, what's Veeky Forums opinion? you think there is money to be made?

See Here's some more gems (including what appears to be hair swallowing fetish)

>Pleasuring Gray was a small price to pay for the right to stroke his hair, O. thought. He remembered the day they had captured Gray, how he had paled and sucked on a lock of his own hair when questioned. Surely such a habit would be abhorred in the polite society that was Gray's element, but the thought of a hair finding its way past Gray's lips and into the secret depths of his throat made O. flush.

>Gray's flesh was soft and damp like the core of a sea anemone, and just like one of those petulant creatures, his inner walls surrendered and shaped themselves around my fingers

>“Yes, a boy’s ass is by nature more perfect than a woman’s could ever be, and you, Mr. Gray, are doubly blessed. You have an ass to rival an angel or the Holy Virgin. Feel how tight and hot it is around my fingers… This ass exists to be played with and worshiped. If I had your youth and beauty, I would cleave my legs open for ten lovers a night, instead of winding them shut as you are now…”

OP here, that's literally what I'm trying to do. Except for the making a living part. Grocery money would be nice. I started out ghostwriting for people who sold on Amazon and made more doing that than trying to sell my own.

If I wanted to make a living I would write BDSM or vampire or dinosaur or gay porn and be done with it.

I'd post some but it's time to write.

plz gay dinosaur vampire bdsm

how did you get into it op? pls respond i'm interested

Back. Well basically I was already doing some writing freelance on a freelancing website and found a job one day to write an erotica story. I must have did a good job, because soon I was actually getting proposals to write more. I made about $40-$60 per every 3,000-10,000 word story, or often it would be like $60-$80 for a group of three very short stories, which wasn't excellent, but it was gas money.

I stopped when I got a better-paying job and didn't need the extra money anymore, but not before I wrote my own short story collection and published it on Amazon. It didn't sell well. I actually published two; it came with a sister piece. To this day I may have made about $20 off of them, and that was several years ago. I only ever promoted it on Tumblr, where I spent most of my time just posting porn, and I bought a banner ad here. I actually have plugged my shit here before, too, and it got me a couple extra sales.

I got laid off last Christmas, and in my down time, I churned out another collection and outlined an idea for an additional one. I published the first one and sold one copy. Since then I've been freelancing at some big companies and writing the second idea in my downtime, just to give me something to write while I'm trying to get back on my feet. Will probably publish that before the end of the year.

well godspeed user,i hope everything works out for you, thank you for sharing

Thank you user, I will do you proud.

Why is it first person?

Just look at those overabundant knockers

nice, congrats!
i have a few more questions, if you don't mind:

>writing freelance on a freelancing website
can you give details? what kind of writing was it? for what kind of audience?

>found a job one day to write an erotica story
how was it? did someone give you an outline? what where the rules?

>$40-$60 per every 3,000-10,000 word story
how long does it take for you to write a 3,000 words or a 10,000 words story? did you enjoy the experience? again, what kind of guidelines did your customers provide you with?

>wrote my own short story collection
would you have done it without the previous experience? is it also smut? are you proud of your short stories?

>I spent most of my time just posting porn on Tumblr
cool
what kind of porn? was it for fun or to earn money? would you recommend spending time there? are you still doing it?

>an idea for an additional short story collection
is it how you work? a broad idea for several linked short stories? may i know more about your work process?

>freelancing at some big companies
again, would you give some details? is it still about $40-$60 per every 3,000-10,000 word story?

sorry for the manic enquiries kek
hope you'll respond
cheers

Source?

Because the story consisted of the MC's diary entries and letters. I don't fucking know man, I was retarded.

Wow, you are curious, haha. This'll take a couple posts...
>writing freelance on a freelancing website
>can you give details? what kind of writing was it? for what kind of audience?
I tried my hand at copywriting, but didn't have the experience to make me good enough to satisfy clients. I was actually doing graphics freelance but since I'm a writer too, I tried my hand at some freelance stuff. There's tons of people asking for writers to write their self-help books, nutrition books, or stories they plan on selling on Amazon, just like with erotica. I wrote a story for some blog that involved forest fairy/nymph type creatures, and I also did an outline for a strange guy who had an idea for an Indiana Jones/Lara Croft-type heroine that goes on archeological adventures, and he wanted me to outline some story ideas, only he wanted 10,000 words apiece (I did two of them), so it really wasn't an outline. It was for some class he tought. It was strange, I didn't enjoy working on it.

>how was it? did someone give you an outline? what where the rules?
That one was fun, because basically the guy said to come up with whatever I want, three stories, so I basically got to write exactly what turned me on. That one wasn't an Amazon seller; he was putting them on an erotica blog. The only rule was that people in the stories had to use a condom, because the blog was about safe sex.

(cont'd)

>how long does it take for you to write a 3,000 words or a 10,000 words story? did you enjoy the experience? again, what kind of guidelines did your customers provide you with?
About a week typically, but I really had to hammer it out, and that part was exhausting. I didn't enjoy that part. When I took a prompt I was given and really turned it into something cool: that part I enjoyed. Typically I was given a synopsis and specific story beats and then was told to go to town. Most of the time it was okay, but sometimes it was awful.

One of the awful ones was a guy who advertised "need five sci-fi/horror erotic stories written." I thought it would be fun. It wasn't. All his ideas he told me, which he told me only once at a time, had to have somebody be raped, and a baby be born. He didn't even have any sci-fi elements in it. I refused to write rape, and he's like "fine, whatever," and I would put my own spin on his disgusting ideas and make sure to add some supernatural element into it. One of those ideas I ended up being proud of how I spinned. But otherwise, I quit after the fifth story because I was afraid of what awful shit he was going to try to have me write next.

>would you have done it without the previous experience?
Probably not. Maybe. I sometimes put erotic situations in my "normal" writing, so I may have done it eventually.
>is it also smut?
Yes.
>are you proud of your short stories?
Yes/no. Parts of them feel pretty well-written, but at other parts it's obvious I churned through it quickly the way I did with my freelance (my clients rarely asked for edits and were usually happy with what I gave them). My friends know I do it, but after I revealed my first book, I became self-conscious because it was about teen girls and to "normies" it felt a little creepy, and I suddenly wished I hadn't let them partially in to my private fantasy world.

>what kind of porn? was it for fun or to earn money? would you recommend spending time there? are you still doing it?
Just stuff I reblogged. Mostly softcore nude models like the stuff I posted earlier, and hot Asians, and facial porn and exhibitionism, and teens, all of which were usually themes in my stuff, and the latter of which eventually got my Tumblr shut down, because at some point I must have posted or reblogged a girl that was underage. I would intersperse with announcements about my writing and a lot of times I would take porn pictures and add excerpts from my stories to them, or make creative gifs. It was fun, but it wasted a lot of good writing time because goddamn I like porn. Tumblr's good for looking at porn.

(cont'd)

>an idea for an additional short story collection
>is it how you work? a broad idea for several linked short stories? may i know more about your work process?
Generally that's how I work I guess, because I've never written a novel yet, in any of my writing. And I like short story collections. One of my favorite books is Winesburg, Ohio, and I like the idea of inter-connecting stories. For my first book, the stories may have well been just long chapters, because they all dealt with one situation, but were separated by a short time-skip and switched characters. But all my other stuff is united by theme.

So for example, on my current collection I'm writing, the theme is nudism, so I just sat and rattled out a bunch of ideas. I thought of as many different situations that would make a good story and jotted down a sentence or two about each idea. I filled pages of ideas and then stuck to the ones I liked. Then before I would write each one, I would flesh out the idea, pretty much mind-vomiting onto the page, just talking to myself in writing pretty much, until I knew what the characters were like and what, generally, was going to happen in the story, and then I went to actually writing.

>freelancing at some big companies
>again, would you give some details? is it still about $40-$60 per every 3,000-10,000 word story?
That's nothing to do with my writing, it's the same type of work I was doing at my former job, just as a freelancer this time. Writing isn't my day job.

>sorry for the manic enquiries kek
That's okay, it's intersting talking about it. Have a happy and horny day.

Don't know. Some geek show with Olivia Munn. I got it from /v.

thanks for your time, user
that's really cool
would you still work on commission?

all good erotica is written cock in hand.

>would you still work on commission?
Hmmm, I would consider it.

Whelp, it would help if you were more specific, but basically there are so many kinds of gay pairing and gay sex that you can mix and match participants and acts to suit your purpose. If you want Tumblr landwhales to shlick furiously to it, the two femme twinks kissing and maybe oral. If you want to turn on chantards, some kind of stronger man overpowering and ass-fucking a weaker femboy. Normal gays are often "narcissistic" in that they date guys who are like them (to the point where they often look like brothers which is creepy), so fat hairy guys fuck fat hairy guys, cute boys fuck cute boys, etc.

If you want to be disturbing, you can play around with these "conventions", as far as hyperviolent goes, well pretty much everyone finds bleeding out your ass from getting fucked too hard disturbing. Guatemalan prison rape videos are enough to turn most people straight.

Anyway what specifically do you want to know, assuming that "lol go watch gay porn fag" is not going to be helpful advice

>“Yes, a boy’s ass is by nature more perfect than a woman’s could ever be, and you, Mr. Gray, are doubly blessed. You have an ass to rival an angel or the Holy Virgin. Feel how tight and hot it is around my fingers… This ass exists to be played with and worshiped. If I had your youth and beauty, I would cleave my legs open for ten lovers a night, instead of winding them shut as you are now…”

Kek this is pretty good but I can't help wondering if there isn't a less jarring word than "ass", it kind of just leaps out of the otherwise fairly elevated register, which you do see in old timey erotica but usually British old timey erotica would write "arse" I think, and that's an even uglier looking word

buttocks would probably be more appropriate

how can i contact you?

I'm the author of this piece and I agree. Thanks though, I'm glad you think it's not utterly shit.

But the character is primarily referring to the anus and rectum, not the buttocks.

>Normal gays are often "narcissistic" in that they date guys who are like them (to the point where they often look like brothers which is creepy), so fat hairy guys fuck fat hairy guys, cute boys fuck cute boys, etc.
interesting
>prison rape
that's it
i read that prison sex is usually mostly a way to show dominance, involving men who consider themselves 'straight' and found it really interesting, in the same way that bonobo's gay sex is a really social thing
i was thinking about a kind of sci-fi/fantasy setting featuring two parallel societies, the focus being on some female and female/male interactions, but i found out that i needed male on male action as well to make it work
so what i want is to get some elements to descibe a male only society similar to a huge prison/training camp where only the stronger survive as some gay mad max scavengers/spartan special forces clad in leather or something, and super fit and estheticaly perfect like those tom of finland drawings
not sure if you catch my drift

Not the guy you're replying to but that sounds pretty good. Tom of Finland is an interesting fellow.

My advice is to make the sex about power dynamics and not the sex act/pleasure itself.

to be more precise, i was thinking about some kind of super homo 'initiation rite' taking place in the showers or way to show some bonding between guys maybe, while most of them are just heartless killing machines having gay sex because lol why not
well, it's still fuzzy, but any input would be appreciated

nice digits
>power dynamics
precisely
how would i achieve that in a 'show, don't tell' fashion?

I wouldn't usually share this, but I know no other way.
[email protected]

Uh, not to be a dick, but this type of stuff is about is easy as it gets for "show, don't tell."

Andre's skin seemed to quiver as the thick oaky cocks grew and pulsed into form. A dab of pre-cum glinted in the red light and he took it by the hand, resolute in his grip, and the dab become a glob and slipped onto his button nose. This emboldened the crowd, inching closer with intent until the men disappeared in the darkness and only thick penis met his gaze.

He sucked. He sucked and gave himself to the sheer strength of the group. Soon he took that submissive stance, that one of squatting and sucking and stroking. He grew a hard-on, still nervous, but knowing deep within his core that he had met his place and would be rewarded. His resentment and disgust flew through him and yet this satisfied him in a way.

The fourth time his asshole stretched to meet a thrashing pillar of flesh, soaked with semen, he began to raise his hips in the air and buck. Stream after stream coated his insides and his prostate twitched and gave. His anger and fear vanished in a puddle of his own semen. His mind faded as the last of the warriors drained onto his hair, body, and face.

There was nothing left to take.

and despite what I said about it being easy I still use a fair amount of metaphor so criticize away.

Why am I hard right now?

>criticize
Depends on what you're going for. If this is meant to be erotica, it's fine. But if this is meant to be a serious work, phrases like "thrashing pillar of flesh" and "thick oaky cocks" seem out of place.

rosebud

got it, thanks

Good idea, thanks. I'll be sure to use it next time Ii have to describe a young man's nubile anus.

>erotica written from male pov
people actually read this stuff?

Probably not, but I'll write it anyway because it's what I know.

Homos do.

When my sexuality was first budding this exact sort of thing really got me off. Pls post it in entirety desu

the female man by joanna russ is absolute shit and I hated it but it explores almost this exact scenario from a 1970s radfem "lol men are so violent and dumb but also women are dumb and I don't want to be a lesbo so I should just build an effeminate twink sexbot to be my bf" perspective.

You could also start with the Greeks where (although the "lel every Greek was a fag brahhh lmao le gay Greek buttsecks" meme is idiotic) homosexual, homoromantic, and homosocial relations were all governed by autistic social conventions and norms which are completely alien to 21st century western homosexuality.

Basically, homosexual relationships were really the province of young men, unless you were a lecher and you would be looked down on for it if you were. Whether a "mentor"/"pupil" relationship was sexual, platonic, or purely professional was largely up to the older partner and his predilections (age 18-22 paired with 12-16 was the norm). As a social convention, it was meant to encourage bonding and provide boys with an accountabilibuddy to help them into manhood.

True "sex between equals" like the narcissistic relationship type was frowned upon but did happen. Continuing to seek homosexual relationships with older men as an adult was seen as effeminate, immature, and hedonistic. Anal sex was outlawed in most poleis.

There was probably no more or less homosexual activity in classical Greece than 21st century Europe, but it was governed by very different conventions. Lesbianism was also universally despised and usually outlawed, and even if you were a fag it was your duty to the polis to marry a woman for procreation. Gay rape for the purpose of humiliation and asserting dominance was also a thing, but not casually initiated, it essentially destroyed the reputation of the victim.

Interesting though all that may be, you're probably aiming at a society operating under "gay for the stay" conventions. Essentially, "straight" men having gay sex for pleasure would want the most woman-like partner, so younger and feminine features basically guarantees advances which may not be possible to refuse. Punitive rape would not be as tied to attractiveness, but at a certain point you've got to be pretty sadistic to get it up for a gross slob, and indeed some prisoners have been reported to dislike raping known homosexuals because the victim isn't supposed to enjoy it, so gay prisoners have to be kept in an isolated section of the facility because they'll just be beaten to death instead of raped. Young, straight, handsome men tend to be raped constantly until they kill themselves.

Isolation from women also lowers standards of beauty, of course. You'd end up with the prettiest boys and young men taking the place of 10/10 women, competed for, manipulating suitors, bathing in the attention, and in constant need of protection from rape (which also tended to happen in Greece and Rome and the pre-Islamic Middle East).

Damn I've seen this artstyle before somewhere. What manga is that?

With friends. Will do. Busy at the moment.

>relations were all governed by autistic social conventions and norms which are completely alien
this is what i'm looking for
>age 18-22 paired with 12-16 was the norm
more about that?
Gay rape for the purpose of humiliation and asserting dominance was also a thing, but not casually initiated, it essentially destroyed the reputation of the victim.
interesting
>a society operating under "gay for the stay" conventions
you got it
any reference for that? porn, fiction or research?
gay prisoners have to be kept in an isolated section of the facility because they'll just be beaten to death instead of raped.
excellent! (for storytelling purpose, i mean)
>Young, straight, handsome men tend to be raped constantly until they kill themselves.
even better! here is my fearless protagonist!
>Isolation from women also lowers standards of beauty, of course. You'd end up with the prettiest boys and young men taking the place of 10/10 women, competed for, manipulating suitors, bathing in the attention, and in constant need of protection from rape (which also tended to happen in Greece and Rome and the pre-Islamic Middle East).
woah
mind=blown
plz go on

shit, greentext is all fucked up

thanks for the effort, man
but that's the precise opposite of what i'm aiming for
i want a sex scene that's over the top and reads like a fight
i picture cormac mc carty writing a prison shower scene where batman is getting rekt by gay punks like you find in the ken the survivor anime
something very dry, with minimalistic vocabulary and clinical descriptions, and psychologically devastating

>Basically, homosexual relationships were really the province of young men, unless you were a lecher and you would be looked down on for it if you were.
Nonsense. Do you think Symposium was an unpopular book? What kind of conservative revisionist horseshit is this? It was accepted for pederastic relationships to continue into older age ranges.
>(age 18-22 paired with 12-16 was the norm)
Also nonsense.

...

here comes our pedantic contrarian friend

Getting something big correct isn't pedantic or contrarian at all, watch them buzzwords pal. Do you enjoy people posting inaccurate information with some weird political motive? I don't enjoy it, left or right. The Greeks were definitely more gay than us and there weren't as many social strictures as he thinks, almost every scholar who goes on about the supposed strictures is a revisionist conservative with poor or no proof. I don't want some liberal revisionist saying all Greeks were gay either, there were plenty of sexually conservative people, but half the mythology of Ancient Greece centers around gay shit. Its plainly obvious they were pretty faggoted. You have to be fairly thick to read ancient Greek literature and still think they were strict about sexuality.

Anything femdom is infinitely better from male pov

>tfw proof reading non-erotic story and it's actually getting you hard
Easier to self-insert?

Wow, that is dark. I will see what I can do.

Jack looked into the crimson snow. Blood leaked from his teeth. He had lost. Primal dominance and humiliation was the punishment. He wanted to fight. His legs did not comply. He stood up to put his hands up but somehow when he opened his eyes he only saw black. Usually in the forest there was some moonlight with blue streaks of cloud. Maybe they had forgotten. Maybe he had gone blind.

Though his legs were numb the feeling of cold tinged the small of his back and then his ass and legs. It was austere and cold and he knew the progress of pleasant to painful to deadening would be quick.

The leader looked him in the eyes but there was no light left. He bludgeoned Jack across the cheek and only was given coughs in return. He pulled out his cock, soft yet impressive, and slapped the victim repeatedly in the face. It made a loud thawack and the sound reverberated a moment and died among the trees.

Jack saw the world turn white and bit the ground hard and then the world was black again but this time red and vibrant too. The men were rapid. Unforgiving. Jack knew that his anus was being stretched and torn. He knew this and yet he could not believe this feeling. He heard the slapping of a scrotum against his ass and yet the immense pain could not be a penis. He refused what his body had already accepted.

A man cut his clothes off and his white ass was red and frozen. It jiggled mockingly with each vicious thrust. Soon his head was pushed down hard and his face went numb. Everything burned.

Bold in the emptiness, the man in Jack's ass gasped as he drove deeper into the giving flesh. The body betrayed the will in every way. Rectum forming around cock after a pathetic weak struggle. Burning sensations that refused to be pleasure taking the place of sheer pain. Jack prayed at each change, knowing their futility. He prayed for his dignity and that too disintegrated in mere seconds from the pain disappearing. He felt his penis flicker slightly with each stabbing cry and it fought hard to burrow in the snow. Soon he was being stabbed on two sides; his asshole and his stomach, by his own.

The absurdity was not lost to Jack. By his own body he had become his antithesis. Bulging shapes and forms and feelings were his reality now. A large muscular of the men had pulled his hair so that his face was taut and his jaw hung loose and he could taste his blood and he jostled as he was fucked and he came face to face with massive genitals. They could not be so big. He could not be so fucked, so violently, so helplessly.

His eyes filled with tears. Why was he crying? He did not feel and tears required feeling. Then he remembered that it was a standard reflex along with gagging. Ah, yes. He was slapped for failing to take the full of the distorted mass and it entered again. And again. Eventually he felt the contours and groves of what could only be another man's cock and balls against his throat and lips.

Every time I see this image, I think about what a cute boy he is and how much fun it would be to bend him over the table and ream his little rosebud while he reads aloud from The Economist. A truly inspiring sight in a thread about writing gay erotica. Perhaps he should be my muse for tonight, while I work on my own.

His ass was lost, he figured, and only hoped that it would comply with violent man dick and so he resolved to, perhaps, save his throat. The blunt force was taking its toll quickly and the disgusting gallogs he was emitting as the penis pulled out and then back in his throat were embarrassing. He would not do it, no. His mouth would. His lips were not his lips. They were cocksucker lips. They heroically closed around the bulky penis tip so that he would not have to. Mmm. That was the sound he heard. Impossibly his penis grew further. Was it the adulation or the slamming force against his prostate? No matter. It was beyond his control.

This apparently was invitation for the third. It pressed against his cheek and Jack struggled with the thought - no, it had already won, but he pretended to struggle with it - that he would be taking three loads of semen, and possibly seconds for each. He reached for it...but his hands...his hands had been pulled behind him and were used as leverage against the rock destroying his beloved asshole. His asshole that had always been a little too tight, a little too retentive. It was full now. So was his mouth. His shoulder ached from being tugged and jerked. He went limp and croaked with the entering of the second cock. Somehow, they slid together in his cheeks, probing and tasting of sweat hair and precum.

After what was actually but a minute of this, he had lost all muscular control. His ass felt like fireworks. He was pulled upright, the leader who had bloodied his mouth still deep inside him from behind, and manhandled up and down to fuck. Deep within his prostate synced with his testicles and penis. The cock in his ass grew momentarily then stopped. He felt hot wetness flow out. It was merciful and yet evil in its warmth. He was face to face with the massive bull cock of his larger assailant and for a moment he thought it looked like the ones he used to jack off to while secretly watching porn in his mom's bedroom. The large man in front pulled him forward and miraculously in all his girth slid down smooth and painless. Involuntarily he sucked the balls at the end of the shaft, cock lodged in his throat, feeling slime pulse down and he whimpered and cried and exploded and cum shot from below and the men howled and cheered as his penis grew and shot ropes into the air. The pain stopped a moment and blood and sweat and semen poured down his face.

The third ejaculated on him ceremoniously, execution style. Jack was made to lick him up and suck each them clean. The hair on the other two was a masculine touch that, if he had dignity left, would have humiliated him further. After the other two finished on his face again he sat and was warm in the snow as he leaked blood and his tears and their cum dried. He slept the deepest sleep and awoke sore everywhere and cold as the sun rudely battered him and his balls and cock were without the typical desire to fuck.

Oh wow, this is pretty damn good.

i appreciate the effort user
i think it's too explicit
it should be like a blur, dreamy and evocative, with the worst parts left untold
like you said, it is dark, almost too dark to be told, think lovecraft, or rosemary's baby or something

How does one effectively pull off the "show don't tell" approach when it comes to homo buttrape? I feel like every time I try showing instead of telling or leaving out the worst, the scene just ends up overly dramatized instead of frank and brutal.

I'm currently writing a fantasy novel in which a priest gets tentacle raped by the being he worships, and I just can't get the scene right.

this is hot, please moar

Hmm, I'm not familiar with their style, but I am familiar with magical surrealism which might be applicable. That was my best gritty realist approach since you mentioned c.mcm.

this is more like it
i'm becoming gayer by the second kek
i'd prefer it without the overly 'erotic' or 'sexual' words
the mc also is a totally inexperienced virgin taken by surprise, and more of a badass in the making
this could well involve a few punches, broken nose and teeth, and a mid fellatio cut off the dick
i feel he should end winning and left for dead

>a priest gets tentacle raped by the being he worships, and I just can't get the scene right
kek
epic

>leaving out the worst
keep it really blunt and short, as the ending for the chapter, maybe?
>showing instead of telling
maybe it's the aftermath that's the worst
he can't remember and went 'blue screen of death', but now he can't get his eyes off of the thing, keeps his back to the wall and clenches his buttcheeks everytime the damn thing moves?
describe the pain? the fear that whatever unholy shit can now be lodged deep into his rectum?
i don't know
i'm struggling with the same problems
(the writing, i mean)

>and a mid fellatio cut off the dick
>i feel he should end winning and left for dead

this is terrifying in its implication. You mean he bites off a dick, winning the fight, but then dies from his injuries? I mean, whatever gets you off, but that doesn't exactly seem erotic.

Thanks, that's pretty much what I'm trying to do. He does get an unholy terror lodged up his rectum, in fact.

slaanesh is creepy as fuck, but nobody can get it 'right'

>this is terrifying in its implication. You mean he bites off a dick, winning the fight, but then dies from his injuries?
something in this vein, yes
>I mean, whatever gets you off, but that doesn't exactly seem erotic.
the purpose is not really to get me off desu (i'm ) it's mostly to get a counterpoint with the rest of the story (it takes place in some kind of idyllic amazon utopia)
my hero needs to be the guy who went through some serious shit, and completely alien to the setting
what i need here is something sexual, visceral and revulsing, like a punch to the guts
see what the other user said about prison sex at the end of

so like when Morty gets almost raped by the Jellybean king but fights him off

but worse

kind of, i guess
can't remember the scene well enough

thanks all, this was an exercise to see what I could do in this genre on the spot

Thing is I don't want to create something like Slaanesh, I want to create a deity that promotes the ideas of purity and unconditional love (to the point where it is initially mistaken for the second coming of Christ) and commits rape and atrocities against its followers not out of employment or pleasure, but out of sincere belief that this will lead to a better world for billions of people. I want the scene to be shocking not just because of cosmic horror rape, but because it's so out of tune with everything the characters had believed in up until that moment.

>Guatemalan prison rape videos
wtf?

Just so you know, I'm totally stealing this.

Don't steal my plot points, write your own gay tentacle rape scenario!

no

Fine. The more gay deity/priest tentacle rape erotica exists, the better.