John Green reads first chapter of his new book

>Quotes Schopenhauer
What a madman!

> Truisms

> 'Inspired' philosophical observations

> 'Unusual' observations about commonplace items and (inter)actions

>Unnecessary 'scientific' facts thrown in

Yup. Another high quality John Green novel.

>Aza
>Holmes
>masticating
>Ladies and gentlemen and also people who do not identify as ladies or gentlemen
>grown, if anything, louder
>Star Wars
>Obnoxious dialogue
Classic Green.

the way i know green is bad is that his ideas and the way he writes are exactly how i would if was to just write without thinking

It annoys me that I write gooder than he but I'll never be as suck sess full.

I feel as though he just reached inside my mind, pulled out the brown sludge, and extremely poetically put it on paper. I don't know if I've ever felt this exposed and simultaneously understood in my whole life.

>tfw i will never be good as john green

Ah! It's so interesting to hear anxieties, and panic attacks, and and all that stuff from a different perspective than my own. I constantly found myself thinking, I know exactly what this feels like, but also this is completely different subject matter and manifestations than my own. (For anyone curious, I personally, deal with generalized anxiety and occasional bouts of depression.)

Thanks friend :)

I feel as though you just reached inside my mind, pulled out the brown sludge, and extremely poetically put it on paper. I don't know if I've ever felt this exposed and simultaneously understood in my whole life.

Honestly, I am crying right now. it's so brave for John Green show the daily struggles of people living with the debilitating disease, OCD. As someone who suffers daily from bouts of depression, i can identify with the message of this book . Powerful, courageous, riveting. xx

What's my detailed opinion on his work? I can't be bothered to read his shit.

>read picture
>answer no

Why are exclamation marks autistic?

where does this guy find the time to do crash course, vlog brothers, travel, make public appearances, be a husband to his wife and a father to his children, work on film adaptions of his work, and crank out literary masterpieces?

is john green the ideal man?

Anyone have the pastas of various versions of his stupid writing
There is a Seinfeld one I want to save

So this... is the power... of YA... whoa...

So this is the power of sincerity?

/ourguy/ is back

He shares his wife

he's bulking

he looks fucked up. is he taking drugs.

when?

Literally in the first 20 seconds you fucking mong

they were born this way

did you really think I was going to watch a video of an author reading his YA book for 10 minutes?

He lets his wife fuck other men and that shit takes wrecks a guy

Christ I didn't think it was going to be this bad. I'm trying to watch it. I'll watch it. But Christ.

>You think you're the painter, but you're the canvas
Is this post-post-modernism?

This is so awful and unprofound and try-hard - honestly didn't think it could be this bad

So this is what a teenage girl's diary would look like if it were written by a middle-aged man.

it's the deepest thing I've ever read
I've preordered five copies already

he should collab with rupi kaur. they'd make a great team.

you know nothing

kino

I think it's because it seems like you're laughing at your own joke.

>Ladies and gentlemen and also people who do not identify as ladies or gentlemen
He means peasants, lepers, whores and the clergy.

good god his eyes are beady, i dont trust him

This is really great. Thanks for Sharon.

>"This story is narrated by a 16 year old girl"

Oooooof course it is you fucking hack

>he shares his wife
Do they fuck, like in those movies?

Please be less vulgar, my friend. Just a tip.
"Do they inseminate, like in those movies?"
Notice how I changed the F-word to inseminate. Now you try.

Kek

Apart from the last retarded sentence, it fits the character he's writing

Do they violently defile each other, debasing themselves with animalistic hunger as their cock and cunt come close and lock together with a *shlick*. Like in the movies?

No they lie next to eachother, she being a hurricane, he a drizzle.

Underroasted toast

lel

Anyone else EXCITED for chapter 2?

I used to think he writes trash on purpose just so he can rake in cash and fuck 4th graders, now I'm not so sure.

>I used to think he writes trash on purpose
He does. Next to JK Rowling, he is the most popular trash ya author of our generation.
This kind of thing doesn't happen on accident.
He has spent his life meticulously combing through the works of Rowling, Meyer, Collins, and Sachar in order to flawlessly pitch movies to American teens in public schools.

kek

Why must you associate Sachar with that lot?

le upboat

Christ, the guy's a one-man-banal-platitude machine.

I feel as though it's bad writing to have your protagonist go into some massive existential rant on the very first page.

Eh. Knausgaard pulls it off nicely. Though he's more narrator than protagonist in the first pages.

This might anger some users here, but it reminds me a lot of DFW. In other words, I won't be reading John Green's new novel.

and what books have you guys written and published, huh?

...

Doesn't Dostoevsky do that with Underground Man?

>all you need to know is this story is narrated by a 16 y/o girl...

oh john

All the embarrassing scraps I wrote when I was 13-16 could probably be assembled into a John Green novel.

by those movies I'm about 90% certain he is refering to the end of 'requiem for a dream'

ASS

>mfw john green is the only person who is hated equally by Veeky Forums, /pol/, Veeky Forums and /tv/

Ten gallons of semen a day will do that to a twink.

It's like he's trying to do something DFW style but in the most excruciatingly awful way possible without any of the writing ability or profundity

Obligatory

Jesus that last sentence gave me cancer. My sister reads this shit?

Stop her

>i wanted so badly to lie down next her
oh thats cute
>to wrap my arms around her and sleep
aw
>not fuck
ok
>not even have sex
yep ok
>just sleep
yeah i get it
>in the most innocent sense of the phrase
how stupid do you think i am you big faggot

Reminder that John (((Green))) is a kike.

Because Holes is a popular young adult novel that got adapted into a popular movie

the problem isn't john green the problem is john greens success

If he self published on amazon and had 2k subs on youtube it'd be fine

TO

is this the meme where we all answer a post to derail a thread ??

>A hundred miles an hor to asleep in a nanosecond
>A nanosecond
>NANOSECOND

How can a 40 years ol man write something like that and still have the nerve to publish it?

He's right, that is all I needed to know

AAAAASSSSSS

Postmodernism > New Sincerity

But what if instead of using sincerity to outright ignore late postmodern disenfranchisement with disenfranchisement, we use sincerity to express disenfranchisement with the disenfranchisement towards disenfranchisement

I love the concept of new sincerity and what could be done with it.

Fucking hate just about all of existing new sincerity literature.

My greatest issue with new sincerity works is false identity. They often either fall back on irony for irony's sake, defensive self awareness, and other bastardized postmodern techniques thanks to an author's lack of faith in their work, or they retain sincerity in the prose itself but their narrative structure and application is distinctly postmodern and self-centered.

I don't think I've ever consumed something that is actually "new sincerity", only more faux-postmodern work telling me it's not like those faux-postmodern things, which is really the most pretentious and faux-postmodern thing one could do.

Honestly fuck him.
He so fucking clearly has targeted that book towards the tumblerettes who self diagnose shit, and with deppression thats fine, anxiety too but OCD really?
I fucking hate the inevitable boom of self diagnosers, and all the people commenting "omg was he writing about me". theres nothing cute or quirky about OCD and anxiety. Its not something to be fucking like ugh honestly. I, and this might be hyprocritical to my point, but I have OCD and I walk around twitching and flinching looking like a right bollock its not some rare amazing personality trait, it doesnt aspire affection people just stare at me and think I`m a spaz. Fuck you for marketing and romanticising a mental illness. I know this guy made a video about his experience with it, but that just proves the character is basically a self insert. If he does actually have it then its worse because he knows how fucking bad it is but he will still profit off of it and market the bitch.
I hope this horrible cunt "spirals" down in to his "thoughts" for the rest of his pathetic life.

>Pictograms of turtles
Figures. Kids love those ninja turtles.

Nothing outstanding but I chuckled a few times. Am probably gonna end up buying it just because of sheer curiosity

>21K likes, 161 dislikes
>comment section is full of cute girls gushing over him
He can't keep getting away with it. It's not fair.

yep!

my sides, pham.

Imagine sucking the combined juices of three teenage girls off John Green's dick while he slaps you in the face with his book, and says you can trade places when you get published and have millions of teenage girls buying your work

...