How the fuck do you make these remotely edible in the microwave?

How the fuck do you make these remotely edible in the microwave?
3 minutes, periodic stirring, my ass.

Fuck the microwave. Just get a kettle and boil your water properly.

5:30 on 6/10 power works for rolled oats in my microwave.

I can't afford that time.
Is that oats in water or in milk?

use quick oats user
they are just blended up rolled oats right(?), so they cook really quick. 3 minutes in my shitty 1980's microwave

Water.

Add a pinch of salt before you cook them. Then stir some honey, fruit, cinnamon, peanut butter or whatever the fuck you like to add flavor
>I like honey, cinnamon and walnut pieces.

Wouldn't want to ruin the flavor of the water by microwaving it right?

Water will evaporate and will make oats mushy. Compensate by adding water (preferably hot).

i eat them with cold milk

Instant oats have been fully pre-cooked, then dried and rolled paper flat. You don't really cooked them so much as rehydrate them, and they have little flavor and a very mushy texture.
Old fashioned oats have been steamed or blanched and then rolled (not as flat as instant). They retain more texture and flavor, but still cook in 3-5 minutes. They're also good for baking because they absorb and retain moisture well.
Steel cut oats are uncooked, chopped oats. They retain the most texture and flavor but take the longest to cook.

Toast your uncooked oats with a little oil first, gives them a nice nutty flavor.
>I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BOIL WATER REEEEE
Oh, nevermind. You're stuck with bland oatmeal then.

Get one of those kettles with a timer you set so you wake up to hot water in the morning.

That sounds quite dangerous, actually

Pretty much all decent electric kettles have safety features that turn it off if it overheats or boils dry.

OP a retard.

>oats in bowl
>boiling water
>stir
>couple minutes
>eat

Fucking moron

What’s with all this microwave “cooking” on Veeky Forums lately? It’s like you cunts don’t even know how to cook

NEETggers can't comprehend having a job

Even the $20 shitty Walmart electric kettles have an automatic shut off.

Tru

Wouldn't trust those safety components any farther than I could shove them up a chinese CEO's ass

I soak them overnight, 1:1:1 oats ,yogurt, water, then add some cereal/berries and eat.

They stay up all night jerking to tranny porn, then over sleep in the morning so they can't take 7 minutes to make a pot of oatmeal before rushing off to their shitty slave-level retail job and then they accuse anyone who has better time management skills, a stable job and a more fulfilling personal life of being a loser.

So learn proper time management skills like a gainfully employed adult, then you can just put a kettle on your stove.

i dont even cook them, i just let them soak for 20 minutes and eat them

exactly how you said, OP
sounds like you have it down
i add raisins or walnuts, sometimes maple syrup

My kettle boils half a cup water in a minute

I have a job and I can still wake up 10 minutes earlier to make oatmeal for breakfast. Holy fuck how fucked is your life that you can't spare 10 fucking minutes in the morning?

I usually do overnight oats with yogurt, or fruits and milk. It isnt hot, but they are very flavorful!

If you have to use a microwave, boil the water in the microwave and THEN add it to the oatmeal rather than throwing it all in the microwave together.

I’m gainfully employed but I can’t drag my ass out of bed any earlier than I have to. I need to find a way to make oatmeal (steel cut or even whole oat groats) before hand, load it into a big dish, and then bring it with some milk to work so I can microwave it just long enough to heat it up - or just eat it cold.

>I can't afford that time.
You can take ten minutes fucking around with a microwave but you can't stand the 1 minute it takes to just flip on the kettle and boil some water?

The fuck is going on with your time management, retard?

Well ... I meant to make a week or at least several days worth at a time - just bring a big pot’s worth.

This user has the right idea, easy as fuck to make, can add all sorts of flavourings, and is pretty fucking healthy.

coconut sugar, trust me.

1/2 cup oats, 1/2 cup water & 1/2 cup milk.

Simmer in a pan, add maple syrup + a bit of salt.

If you have them add dried blueberries in at the start with the oats.

I eat porridge every other morning, just about. Pretty sure I use quick rather than instant and here's how I does'em in my popty ping:

Scoop of oats in my bowl (40ish g).
Pinch of salt.
Scant tbsp of sugar (less today because reasons below).
Handful of dried fruit (apples today).
Handful of nuts (pecans today).
Half cup of milk (125ml).
Stir.
Nuke 1 minute.
Stir.
Nuke 1 minute.
Stir.
Is it thick enough? No -> nuke 30 more seconds then continue to next step. Yes -> continue to next step.
Add extras if/as desired and consume (maple syrup today, which is why I used less sugar).

Maybe you simply dislike the texture of rolled oats. It so, run them through the blender to fake-me-out mill them a bit more finely for porridge with a more farina-like consistency.
I dislike whole oats, myself, which is why I use rolled, quick-cooking oats.

>all that liquid
Wouldn't that make it rather soupy? Or are you using whole oats rather than rolled? I would assume whole require more liquid and cooking time.

>water
Use milk, retard. Water and oats tastes like shit.