Kitchen horror stories

Calling all folk who have worked in a kitchen: what's the most horrific shit you've ever seen happen in a kitchen? Whether it be related to a complete lack of sanitation, fellow cooks losing their shit, or kitchen accidents? Genuinely interested in what you guys have seen.

This happened to me about a year ago
>be a fry cook at some shitty chain restaurant that shall remain nameless
>fryers are clogging as usual because nobody cleaned them before the dinner rush
>drain them all and wheel the oil pump to the vat in the back lot
>start cranking the hot oil into the vat
>suddenly I hear movement from within
>turns out there was an opossum in the oil vat
>it somehow flings itself out like a fucking olympic pole vaulter
>fur and skin is being seared off the poor bastard as it scampers away at high speed
>notice it beeline towards the propped open door to the kitchen
>oh fuck
>manager just so happens to be passing by as it runs inside
>immediately drops the plates of food in his hands and grabs a broom
>the opossum is somehow still alive and kicking
>not for long
>it's trying to hide under a kitchen cart
>"you can run, but you can't hide" were my manager's exact words
>manager beats the everliving shit out of it with the broom
>each whack flings bloody chunks of oil and fur everywhere
>it's finally dead
>literally looks like a pitch black hellspawn that's been turned into roadkill
>manager makes me clean it up
To this day, simply remembering the smell makes me gag. I wish I took a picture.

Other urls found in this thread:

forbes.com/sites/niallmccarthy/2016/10/06/how-much-tax-do-americas-undocumented-immigrants-actually-pay-infographic/amp/
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

>be a bartender for a shitty themed restaurant
>one day notice a strange black van outside
>windows are blacked out
>parks itself real close
>bring it up to manager and waiters
>no one takes me seriously
>"oooo, spooky, maybe its the x-files!"
>van disappears one day
>next day the kitchen staff don't turn up
>turns out they were all busted for being illegals
Damn Brazilians, man

>not one single mention of a local concert
>390 goddamned covers in a single night not including the 23? walkouts between two cooks
>two fucking cooks handling jackasses that flood a sit-down restaurant and want less than ten-minute meals
At least we have something to brag about. Other than a walk-in cooler and four-reach-ins crashing from overuse. Hell, even the fucking grill got cold from meat being fully packing the thing; we stopped counting orders and were just grilling, roasting, and frying shit by the time it was over. We only had like 2 sirloins and 3 very nice patties left when we were done though.

Also, last time I went to a concert I thought things out so this is evidence that most people are retarded.

>most people are retarded
Yes, yes they are.

>be 20 as a food prepper in a bank campus
>Decide to stay and help Chef deep clean the kitchen
>move massive industial size fridge to find a tennis ball sized conglomeration of roaches
>wemustexterminate.exe
>Chef has bright idea to trap the roaches in an enclosure and pour bleach on the area
>itsfuckingbrilliant
>stand in the killzone as he pours bleach on the wall
>c-c-chef theres a socket there
>chef pours bleach over the socket and a loud POP follows with sparks
>i breifly get electrocuted yelling my best "fuck" in years
>mfw chef didn't realize what had happened

I've seen a kitchenhand fall in the grease trap.
The Chef was extremely drunk and threatened to rape me.
The half-retard dishwasher escaped into the dining area to bum smokes off patrons.
I saw a customer vomiting in our drystore.
A rat got decapitated by a trap, we ended up putting the head in the Chef's apron pocket. There were extra rape threats that night.
I seen shit from a busted toilet drip down the walls of a dry store.
I've seen a mad cook break down in the middle of brunch service, completely incapable of working. I had to take over, at fourteen years old. I had been washing dishes for my uncle's friend.
I've been so drunk at work I couldn't even speak.
I've had sex in a kitchen, after hours. Twice, come to think of it.
I've gambled my whole paycheck, multiple times.

I've given up working in kitchens.

rekt

I was a technician in a kitchen in south africa where they cooked tripe all day, smelled like death

tripe called quest?

>sex twice in the kitchen

Was it with the chef?

Fuck, man. most ive gotten was half a blowjob

please, do not make me think on it any more than I have already. I prefer to keep the memory compartmentalized.

I have nothing but pride for the public servants of ICE

Two words, myriad horror stories.

Ice. Box.

Millennials with daddy issues on Veeky Forums support a police state, what a surprise!

I was a sous chef at a crêperie a couple of years ago and the owner was the head of the kitchen. He was 30, about 5'8, and likely 300lbs. His Wife often went away to her parents beach house and those weeks were dreaded because I knew he wouldn't shower properly. The combination of beating off feverishly at night and sweating around the restaurant all day did not lend to the best aroma. You could see it on the customers faces and it made me want to gag every time he walked by me. I bought him soap for his birthday to no avail. He was the know it all type who thought everyone else was dimwitted and nowhere near his intelligence level. It was obvious he was insecure by the way he sought out every chance to twist what someone said to make them feel stupid or if you didn't like Tool or whatever other band, movie, show, game, celeb, pop culture reference, etc. he did than he would belittle you for it. He preferred his food cold. He only hired dudes in rehabilitation and college aged girls, which he was also very handsy with us. The restaurant was disturbed by the assistant managers Wife calling, showing up to fight, and damaging property because he fucked one of the girls that fucked everyone there. He was fired, she was promoted. Besides my boss having a shitty personality he often washed spinach in the dirty dish sink without properly cleaning it, that being where he also thawed raw chicken, though he didn't wash any of the other produce. He would keep the sliced meats in the fridge for weeks, not preserved meats mind you so the chicken turned green frequently. I mentioned it over and over until he finally decided to sandwich bag the portion sizes and freeze them until needed, not my fix. He dropped crêpes, fruit, salad mix, etc. on the floor and put it on the plate to serve anyway. I never saw him wash his hands. I guess I just hated my boss as a person but he sucked at business too. Too much to fit.

>working at bum fuck middle of no where diner type of place
>one day prepping for the night the health department is here
>no one gives a shit about cleaning
>i try to clean what i can when i can when its slow/end of the night
>thinking health department will shut us down
>finally a few days where we can clean shit shit hole because i think health department will shut us down
>they look around for 5 mins
>notice owner hands 3 of the health department stooges 50$ each

i was one of 10 people in that kitchen who cleaned that shit hole, fucking hated that place. So glad i quit.

bump

>be working in a steakhouse washing dishes
>waitress brings back a steak because it was "raw"
>really just medium well
>chef has to grill another steak
>same person sends it back
>this repeats one more time
>chef gets pissed, spits on the steak and microwaves it until it has the rough appearance and texture of a tire
>smothers it in mushroom and onions
>never gets sent back

That's the only one I can think of.

That's not a horror story, that's justice.

wasn't sent back probably because the person left

when I worked at firehouse subs and caught a stomach bug I threw up right under the line and my manager told me to clean it up and keep working.

>work a national hamburger franchise
>have a huge grease/oil collection tank in back
>big pumper truck suck it out once a month for recycle shit
> tank has burners that hook up to propane supply on truck to liquefy grease for easy pumping
>this fateful day, idiot heats up grease tank, then engages pump
>accidentally engages in discharge mode instead of suck mode
>entire contents of grease tank blow out of top lid, followed by 1500 gallons of whats already in truck
>strong wind blows grease mist all over our parking lot plus fast food joint next door, plus adjacent shopping plaza
>many pissed off people. lawsuits filed out the ass.
>entire area reeks of rancid french fry shit for months afterwards

>my manager told me to clean it up and keep working
Isn't that illegal?

It's only illegal if it actually happened.

thats not true. check your rape laws.

>be me
>temporary summer job at nathans coney island main store brooklyn
>shit is a clogger during the summer
>a line of 15 people or more behind like 20 fucking registers(place is huge)
>no fucking air conditioners
>cooks are literally sweating on the hotdogs (felt bad serving them)
>the shitters were the biggest nightmare of the whole store because all the tourists, customers and beach goers crap up the place always smelt like shit and piss mixed with the smell of beach sand every fucking day
>the workers barely cleaned them because of this

glad i didnt work the restrooms. I never ate those nasty fucking hotdogs there either after what ive seen.

Someone spilled about 10kg of barbecue sauce all over the line area in rush hour. By coincidence I put my two weeks in about two weeks ago so I just walked.

kek

I wouldve done the same.

>laws having any meaning in the food industry
No one gives a fuck what's "legal" in food. Health inspectors and workplace regulators are easily bribed, and even if they're not corrupt you usually can't afford to have 0 income for the months that it takes to nail them and no one will hire you after ratting an employer out.

I thought it was a law that if you were sick and being forced to work still it's something you can sue for. Maybe I'm just imagining things.

>supporting a police state
>wanting illegal anyone the fuck out of here
Spot the spic.

Grow up. That's all I can say. Grow up and learn that there is a world so much fucking bigger than you, and that you can be a part of it.

how is that even marginally relevant, I know you're trying to be funny but why don't we try leaving the topical humor to the likes of Seinfeld, kay?

>work at one of the chain restaurants most of you have been to at least once
>thought I could jump start a chef career this way and pick up some tricks
>entire job was basically to microwave 90% of orders that came our way

It was actually kinda depressing.

Whore

This is how everyone can identify you. Unironically defending illegals. And acting like it makes anyone edgy for the very notion of being supportive of it.

Fuck off spic trash.

What does this even fucking mean?

How old were you? Everybody knows this is the case with most chains.

That drink tray gave me ptsd. I'm never going back to bussing.

You are trash for not reporting healthcode violations. Somebody's young kid could have eaten that food.

Gross man. You shouldn't have served them. The conditions of the restaurant shouldn't have had those employees sweating.

You're brown.

Ur green.

Why so mad, pinkdick?

Post more stories faggots.

based coppers

awful posts

is this your first post? lurk moar

>I had to do my job
>it was awful wah wah
great story

You can be a part of it too, just do so in your own country or go through the process of getting here legally.
If that's somehow too hard for you to understand, you deserve all the hate your "people" get.

Grow up. That's all I can say. Grow up and learn that there is nothing wrong with breaking the law, and that you can break the law all you want!

Laws are just ideas, man

Also there really isn’t anything wrong with breaking the law

sounds like a spiccy way of life

I really thought that said spicy and appreciated the meme
Anyway I’m barging in on this discussion but I’m an immigrant from Poland and the only reason I’m a citizen is because my great-grandmother was born here, and it feels fucking absurd that I can be a citizen and never even be questioned because I’m whiter than snow when I’m not better than any other immigrant
Hell I know plenty of white illegals that aren’t even close to being targeted because racism is the biggest meme

poles are niggers, stop hitting enter after every sentence faggot

...

Look who's fucking talking.
>WAAHHHH I WANT TO BE AN AMERICAN TOO!!!
Who really needs to grow up here?
>you can be a part of it
You can't accept that we don't want to be a part of your shitty fucking world?
>LOOK AT MEXICO, LOOK AT DIRTY, DISEASED, DRUG-RIDDEN, CRIME-INFESTED, CARTEL-RUN, CORRUPT MEXICO
>DON'T YOU WANT TO BE JUST LIKE US?
Fuck off back to whatever shithole you crawled out of.

>I've been so drunk at work I couldn't even speak.
Same except my job was to load bombs onto fighter jets.

You do country great service, Ivan

underrated

Illegals are a drain on the system and it's in our best interest to remove them ASAP. Why the fuck should they be able to cut the line while others do it properly?

WTF does this even mean? Post an argument or shut up

OSHA does have whistleblower regulations in place to protect people who rat out shit businesses but OSHA is also a government agency so who knows if they do fuckall for anybody.

Get a green card and pay your fucking taxes fuckhead.

Funny enough that actually did become my nickname due to my vodka consumption and love of Adidas clothing.

>poles
>white

ICE, ICE, baby...

that's actually pretty fucking funny I'm sorry

>manager makes me clean it up
As in, he didn't help?

They can't do shit if nobody trust them to do shit, and then expectations will be lowered to the point that they don't need to do shit.

When has a government agency ever been trustworthy?

It may be different in America but the people who work there usually want to do a good job and help people even if they may be working on a tight budget or have strict rules from above.

My point still stands.

Because you're ruining the closest things this world has to functioning societies and not everybody wants to live in africa/syria/mexico 2.0.

>illegals are a drain
Turns out, muh boogeymen illegals pay a helluvalot more in taxes than herr Drumpf does.

forbes.com/sites/niallmccarthy/2016/10/06/how-much-tax-do-americas-undocumented-immigrants-actually-pay-infographic/amp/

.. elaborate

> work in chinese restaurant
> some idiot drops the plate on the floor, food face down.
> I tell a manager as I'm supposed to as this could be a rather nasty visit from the HSE
> He tells me, with no expression, "just put it back on the plate, there's enough sauce nobody will notice.

is this really a problem, though? aren't kitchens supposed to be clean?

...

thank you for answering my question

> aren't kitchens supposed to be clean.
You're either trolling or your density rivals that of neutron stars.

>the rich exploit loopholes in tax law
Imagine mah shock.

Again, that's one person vs probably millions, a large portion of whom are collecting some sort of benefits. They are a net financial drain whether you believe it or not. That's not even mentioning their crime rates

But without daddy- sorry, the state telling me if I’m allowed to be around Mexicans or not how will I know if I’m safe?

I got a few
> Work at a popular chain restaurant
> Running a promotion that is super intensive for the window worker
> guessWhoRunsWindow.png
> First day of promo
> Only scheduled for level 3 (since it's a monday) 1 Saute, 1 Grill, 1 App and 1 window
> Window gets fucked
> I'm on 10 pages of orders
> Wanna kill myself for 2 hours straight

Another
> Saute guy is the least careful person ever (usually stoned out of his mind too)
> Opening a bag of sauce with a knife (but one of those "safety knife"
I don't know how he was holding the bag but..
> Cuts the shit out of his hand
> Blood everywhere
> Has to go to the hospital
I have a few more good ones if anyone is interested

Why do /pol/tards get so triggered on our humble cooking board?

>chain restaurant
>window
look you dumb faggot that's not a restaurant it's fast food and how dumb are you that you're scared to say if it was mcdonald's or burger king? no phone poster nobody is interested in more boring stories

I just want illegals gone. And if you ever happen to get into legal trouble one day, try asking the cops and prosecutor "lol wah you so triggered xD" and see where that gets you

>oh look, I didn't read the article which quoted an independent tax research organisation stating more than 1/2 of illegals pay state/fed income tax as well as social security which they can never collect
>illegals cannot receive federal govt. assistance
>drumpf doesn't pay taxes but that's ok 'cause he's muh fuhrer
>i still say they're a drain 'cause breitfart and AM talk radio told me so

Wanna know how I know you're a woman?

are you retarded, you know how many microbes and bateria lie on the floor

oh cool half of them pay some taxes that's amazing

Trump and those fat cats should pay their taxes too fucko, I can hate both

Not him but no women post on Veeky Forums

>cooking board
>"no women post on Veeky Forums"

You seem to be forgetting that today’s women are progressive :^)

Aren't those progressive women drinking cum cocktails and eating period "bacon"?

because pol is a circlejerk, they need attention and they go out troll other boards to spew their ideological diarrhea. You must just ignore them.

illegals pay taxes, take crappy jobs and don't use public services

mexicans are literally retarded but you want them out because some rich dude used some outdated nationalist slogans so you vote for him and give him money. You are being more retarded than the spics.

You aren't gonna grow more assertive or dominant faking a strong stance about immigration, any pencilneck will still beat you any day and SJW, tumblrinas and other mentally challenged liberals will keep having fun with their circlejerks without you. Also, nobody at pol is your friend and any nationalist will still beat you because your looks.

Now go back to pol and let adults talk about food.

God forbid we actually defend our borders and enforce basic immigration laws.

>defend borders

define.

Illegal immigration costs the government billions, whether you want to acknowledge it or not. That again does not take into account the crime they commit. Also, they are breaking the law, and not a minor one like jaywalking either. Lastly, stopping illegal immigration eliminates human traffickers.

You care to name the benefits of keeping them here?