Bukowski

"Once I was writing
And my dick started
Burning it burned a
Lot so I went to
My doctor except
He was not there so
I went and saw a
Different doctor
He was a Jew but
Good enough so I
Pulled down my pants and
Told him "Hey doc, look--
My cock, its burning"
And he said "Woah there--
That does look bad" so
He got on his knees
And pulled my foreskin
Back and saw that it
Was full of dick cheese
So he said "Woah there--

That does look bad" so
He washed it off and
Gave me some overpriced
Pills which stunk because
They were antibiotics
But I forgot I was
Allergic so I went back
And said "Hey doc, look--
My dicks still burning--
And now I'm real sick"
So he said "Woah there--
That does look bad" and
He called his nurse she
Had big tits and a
Nice ass but was too
A Jew but good enough.
So I told her "Hey bitch
How 'bout you ride this
Dick once this little
Infection is gone?"
And she said "Woah there--
Not even a date first?"
So I said "look here--
I ain't got no time
For dates I'm a big
Writer and I got to
Write or I will get
Arrested for not
Paying my ex bitch
Alimony, kay?"
And then she said "kay"
So I got my dick

All cleaned up and then
Started looking 'round
For the nurse kike bitch
Then I found her and then
Told her "Hey nice ass--
You ready to fuck?"
And she said "Woah there--
I'm not some dirty
Skank you got a car?"
And I said "Of course
I got a car you bitch"
So I went outside
And hotwired a big
Van that smelled of
Child molestation
But sprayed my shitty
Cologne in there and
Told her "Get in bitch"
So we fucked hard and
I came raw in her
Fat ass and again
In her loose cunt and
Mouth then later I
Felt that same burning
Again and I thought
To myself "Fuck that
Bitch wasn't even clean"
So I got up and
Went to the address
On her license 'cause
I stole her wallet
And bought junk with it
And she said "Woah there--
Didn't ya know I
Was a prostitute
On the side?"
So I said "Look here
You dumb cunt I just
Got rid of this shit
You better fucking
Fix this you piece of
Shit or I'll beat ya"
And she said "Woah there--
Aren't you the piece
Of shit for catching
This shit in the first
Fucking place?" So I
Left and walked home and
It started raining
So I got soaked
And probably got
A cold too don't know
So I went inside
My shitty little dank
Apartment and then
Poured myself a glass
Of rye then got up
And ate a stale rye
Sandwich with slimy
Old baloney
And hummed some shitty
Old jazz song from my
Childhood and then I
Thought to myself "I
Think its time to die."
But I didn't 'cause
Life is worth living
Even if it's pure
Shit sometimes The End."
- Charles Bukowski

Nah. Not even close. The best parody was done by Raymond Carver.

I wrote that like, three years ago and have never once read Bukowski. It's more a mockery of what I assume, and have often confirmed to be, his themes and language, in a lazy and careless poetic form.

Yeah, I searched a phrase from it and found a warosu archive of your post. Grats, bro, your shitty presumptions are now just as immortal as Bukowski's works.

what would you do if your girlfriend was being interviewed on the couch next to you and implied that she was staying over at her drugs dealers house?

It was supposed to get published in a Veeky Forums book, the one about the pantheon of meme gods, but that died down quick despite me coming up with most of the ideas and creating the cover graphics.
It was accompanied by a short story I wrote about DFW and some fake Rupi Kaur poems that I planned to eventually create a few sketches for.
One day.
My genius just isn't appreciated, it seems.

Doing God's work user.

I love that scene in the tapes. One of my cuck friends said he "couldn't believe he hit her," etc. Anyway that chick got the last laugh because she has his royalties which are quite profitable, I've heard.

Is that your OC?

Probably similar to with Kerouac, Veeky Forumserati think "Oh, that's just selling your diaries, anybody could do that", and they don't realize what goes into actually doing it.

Kerouac's actually a pretty good writer. I don't care much for his Buddhist stuff, though he did ultimately renounce all that. It would have been interesting to see how his writing would have turned out had he not died.

sure

He's boring.

couldn't care less about his poetry.
But I deeply enjoyed Ham of rye and Factotum.
There's just something highly inspiring about a guy who bucked the system, lived a shitty life and knew how to write well enough to describe the filth.

only read hollywood. would read more if it was the only book available, but with the books on my shelf, I would never pick bukowski over any other,

How do I into Bukowski?

A shovel and this.

because he attracts hipster pussy.

leftists are always obsessed with shit and piss.

Bukowski was a classical music guy not some pleb who liked jazz

Because they're just being ragey wagies.

Hey! I've never read Bukowski before and my friend lent me a collection of his poems. What are some I should I read?

I imagine many people on Veeky Forums loved Bukowski in their teens and then started reading more high-brow books and felt embarrassed by their edgy beer & cigarettes intellectual LARPing and condemned its representative. Bukowski is Hemmingway if Hemmingway stood in the street drunkenly shouting "nigger" at the passing crowds.

...

it was a terrible get

bump

Read Love Is a Dog From Hell.

I guess has a point - no, Bukowski isn't exactly Yeats or anything like that, but I like the earthiness of his tone. Most poets (cough cough Pinsky) are chanting to the angels of history but there's ol' Charlie, talking about gutter shit and drinking and "being a man" (quotations necessary). There's nothing wrong with that, if you think about it.

Here's some perspective, though. In the context of the poem, using such now basic but once vulgar terms could entail the result of a trial of forfeit, and our language fails to compensate for our apathy, therefore shit and piss, ugly words as they are are reflective of the poet's emotions, which virtually are nome at all.

Maybe. I dunno. Something like that.

Because Veeky Forums is full of tryhard spooked children who base their opinions on memes.

I knew a girl, what a tthe time I thought to be my soulmate, the love of my life, who boastful claimed that nothing could shock or scare her becasue she had read bukowski or, as she called him, Buk. This confidence was an answer to me warning her that I was a really crash guy at the time. And I was. Typical edgy teen straight out of 9gag, thinking I knew everything and that nothing could get pass me.
So eventually one day I got myself some Bukowski PDF's, not only becuase I wanted to fuck that girl but because I had heard his name form time to time on my twitter friend feed's, and read them.
"Fuck machine" I believe it was called the short stories collection. I read three of those. One was about a guy who probably got cucked but couldn't give less of a shit. He also had nice, good, strong legs, which I liked because I've always felt I had strong legs too. Didn't think much of it at the time. The second story was about a hobo who wandered around into a crazy zoophiliac who made out with a jaguar or a panther. A particular scene in which him and the lady made out allowed me to lay down my desire to fuck the girl in a somewhat subtle manner. Thought this story was funny. The alst one was the Fuck Machine. Now this was what now I would call a Pynchonian tale. An old nazi man creates a sex robot and the robot ditchs him for the protagonist and gives him the ebst sex of his life.
I didn't find it particularly shocking but I remember feeling let down. I heard os much of this man with a weird last name and I felt cold reading the stories.
I eneded up fucking that girl in some lost town in the mountains sorruounded by a beautiful swamp. I haven't seen or heard of that girl in two years now.
Bukowski a mid tier shit author.

Degenerate shit for whimps who are enamored with the notion of being "down with the man."