Write what’s on your mind

I spent my youth immersed in the bliss of reading, writing, and creating. As college ended I panicked at the threat of economic peril and so I went to law school, blinded by fear and seeing no foreseeable option. Thought maybe I could utilize my writing skills and help people. I graduated, got a job at a firm instead, and now it has been years of utter boredom and wasted potential.

I spend hour after hour representing insurance companies. I spend hour after hour reading documents or preparing or stressing. It has taken me one full month to read a 300 page book. I’ve written nothing. I’ve painted nothing.

Everything is fucked and I have wasted my life.

>girl is flirty with me for a couple months, I'm not really into her
>one night figure fuck it might as well, when she invites me to come watch a movie with her say yes
>get to her room
>all lights off
>she tells me to get into bed
>with clothes on
>wat.jpg
>starts talking all this platonic shit
>turns out she just wants to cuddle
>tries to get me to stay the night
>no
>leave
>next time we meet, both act like nothing ever happened, she's friendly so I figure it's just blown over
>see her again a few days ago after being out for a month
>she 180-runs as soon as she sees me

WHAT THE FUCK IS A WOMAN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Will somebody read this? If they do will they understand it? Probably not. Words don't carry as much meaning as they should carry.

She wants you to rape her, user. Trust me; I know. I'm a muslim.

>listening to her will to get raped
>not god's will to rape her
you're no muslim bruv

>>turns out she just wants to cuddle
>tfw when thats all I ever wanted
>tfw no women ever tried to understand
>tfw when I never expected them to understand
>tfw I don't even understand it
>tfw completely disillusioned by sexuality
>tfw reverting back to lost childlike notions of relationship
>tfw when forming asexual pedophilic predilection
>tfw resigned to the pathetic futility of my own identity

This is the most depressing shit I’ve seen. Quit or kill yourself.

I'm sorry to hear that user, I'm majoring in philosophy, politics, and law and I'm also considering law school just because I don't know if a PPL degree is going to get me a high paying job that I actually enjoy. If you don't mind me asking, why did you do insurance law? Everyone's different of course but I imagine there are areas of law that sound more interesting than insurance. Also, what was your undergrad major?

Writing in concrete is no different than a sand sculpture.

For what history does it bear other than with those that witness it?

How more remembered should it be and does being seen in greater volume increase its history, and what history does it truly relate?

What stories are told beyond conjecture of a time that one wasn’t present for?

I majored in philosophy and english lit. I took the job at the insurance firm because despite my good grades, the market is shit, and the only other options were white collar/M&A stuff or public interest. I did public interest work for a bit but it simply couldn’t pay the bills, and even then I was working 60 hour weeks minimum.

The point is I never even attempted to pursue writing or painting/design and now I’ll never get to. By the time you’re out of law school (in America, at least), you’re 25 minimum. That’s already full blown adulthood. You have 5 years to experiment with the arts, poverty, or whatever, and that’s only if you aren’t saddled in debt.

I just to love some one beautiful, and write about our relationship.

I want them to love me for my ideas

But my standards are high

She feels the warmth spread, and she realizes that she's going to die.

It's a nice day and the weather is great
Think I'll go outside and celebrate

Not sure what it means, but cool style.
Language is poor at bridging the gaps between our perspectives. There's no getting around it, but accepting that is a start.

I'm studying physics and it's so boring and dry that I want to just end it. The only reason I didn't go to philosophy is because of the job meme.

why am i obsessed with finn wolfhard guys please help

He went to the park because he hated everywhere else. He hated the lyrics that dripped from the sill above his apartment about whores and drugs. He hated the sound of crying women in the atrium downstairs and the cursing reproaches of the commuters outside. These noises never materialized into people. They persisted, white noise against a drab backdrop of concrete and brick.The park, at least, was meant for something besides living in.

Because he's CUTE
Don't worry I've got lots of beautiful kids on my computer and I'm- uhhh im doing just fine i am doing fine fine fin!..

I hate attempting to translate a story idea to screenplay format.

Being impressed into the English navy in 1599 to sail to the America's

Derik hung on the fridge handle to have it open and pulled his face in for careful thought of refuel. But found to be caught in the orbit of leftover spaghetti dinner and a bottle of an authentic tea brand. They were collected into his arms to the microwave as the light that had touched his whole chest, two sleeves, and face, snuffed out in an instant. Then there was bliss in the space of forty-five some seconds, where his meal crinkled and cracked from overhead, and his paused game looped the same bgm that he didn't think he'd ever get tired of. There were snippets of dialogue from there too, not that he remembered stopping at a cutscene. Derik downed the tea bottle in his waiting. He took five from a talk with the head chief of Uganda now, didn't he? He shouldn't be hearing voices at a time like this. At least, he thought he didn't.

The microwave grabbed his attention again with a shrill four beeps and the spaghetti was set. However contrary he felt with himself, he reached inside and turned to sit on the couch with his meal. He peered at the screen. The memory came to him anew. And like fuck did he save at a cutscene, you can't even save at a cutscene in the first place! But as substitute for himself on the couch placed around a storm of console equipment and strings, he was met with a little-less-panicked-than-average girl in dress serving the equivalent of grass straw skirts and sandals.

"I'm Nalana! Now don't call the cops."

Alright, easy he was just going to have to call the cops.

His feet moved quicker than he could object running to the phone. But it must’ve been him in a shock of worry that made him veer a sharp left for his room. Or anywhere upstairs that was far away from his game and a half naked some other residing in the same picture.

I’d write something, but my mind mostly consists of expletives and things I can’t say out loud like “poo poo pee pee” for the entire time i’m awake.

i want to start reading y book but i masturbated 15 minutes ago then pissed and now my groin hurts and i have to take a phantom shit, as you do when you piss after masturbating. fucking regret masturbating i wasn't even horny just did it for the fuck of it and now i have to wait till the feeling goes away by sitting on the toilet for 20 minutes until i feel better enough to read without being distracted by my stupid fucking body.

I want an Asian gf but I don't want a mongrel child

I want a kazakh gf but I don't want a mongol child

>tfw wrote over the posting limit but my browser crashed cause my computer died so all my work was lost.
God damn you! God DAMN YOU

Jungian symbology pisses me off. It's absurd to think you can assert a series of archetypical ideals on a broad population of contemporaries - to say nothing of its gross misapplication on disparate groups throughout history - using nothing but your own subjective senses to interpret subjective and deeply flawed means of external communication.
Any decent anthropologic approach in which the collective external output of a discrete group is evaluated for solely its explicit symbology is preferable, and bound to yield a more philosophically viable tapestry of content - which is why Gardner's constructed monomyth in Grendel resonates much more strongly (for people born in and around the zeitgeist it was written for) than Campbell's allegedly evo-psychological one does for any group or individual at any point.
At the very least Gardner has the good sense to accept that some elements of symbology are incommunicable and accounts for such.

>getting assbothered by memerson
lmao @ u

>adulthood
lol you need to meet more "adults"

I've never really thought about religion too much and I've been agnostic for most of my life, but I just got this idea

Are the intermittent flames that are fanned in the soul of divine inspiration God's method of communicating with us? Is the Bible truly God's word, or is it simply the metaphors, allegories, and philosophies of the divinely inspired? What is the difference between the two, as the latter would just imply a channel or path for His word to flow and not be altered?

we should be adults by 18 but instead this shit happens

Inevitably Peterson comes into the discussion, but I've harbored serious doubts against psychoanalytical technique (and as I started seriously reading, the philosophical conceits behind it) since I was an adolescent.
The anthropological dichotomy is a more recent concept, but I don't owe it to anything Peterson's said specifically.

What are Poppers and how does one acquire a wife who tolerates that kind of shit? I swear some of these manchildren really luck out in that department. Why do women tolerate that shit?

trash settling for trash

>Are the intermittent flames that are fanned in the soul of divine inspiration God's method of communicating with us?
I don't even know what this means

That shit's gotta be fake, I checked the signatures tho and they're different. wew

>pops

WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING

I have some ideas floating around about Free Will and how it works. Anyone else?

Nowhere I can get to is hiring and I don't have too much capital to start my own business. I want to die.

Sometimes I get these feelings where I'm like "There must be a God, there must be a higher being," etc, but I'm usually pretty quick to try to apply reason to it and counter it and suppress it. But I know a lot of people have these moments, even like stoners who are like "dude there's gotta me something out there" or whatever. But maybe attempting to reason things out only works in the material world and if God or whatever higher being it is is on another plane of existence, as he/it must be, then reason would not apply. So I'm wondering if God planted these seeds of divinity or whatever you want to call it in us so we have proof or faith in him. I might just be a retard but that idea just popped into my head and its on my mind, not fully committed to it in any way really

no, pretty sure you're the only one who thinks about free will

you do understand that you get investment capital from banks to start a business, right? Depending on your model, a personal line of credit to the tune of 5-10k is enough to get you started. Unless you need heavy machinery and can't make it yourself.
What's your business, exactly? The line "nowhere I can get to" is concerning, lacking driving capabilities in 2018 is bad.

Have you tried believing? What's so great about "reason" why would you want to suppress religious feelings. They are healthy and a part of human life.

I can only be sure of my own existence. You are all p zombies.

I want to start vermiculture in order to sell fertilizer to the gardening folk around here. I would prefer to not get any sort of loan or anything like that. I don't have a car and our public transportation is garbage here. I dislike driving due to personal reasons.

No, I have never tried believing. I've always interpreted the feelings, and religion in general, as just being scared of the void of the afterlife and the desire for comfort so that's why I dismissed them. But what I'm saying is maybe the feelings of wanting to believe aren't from fear but from a communication with God

>What's so great about "reason"
I've always been interested in science and how the material world functions and reason is key to understanding that, but I'm becoming more and more of a romantic I guess in thinking that emotions are beyond reason.

How do you plan to do anything with no means of transportation and no capital? If you want to make some kind of money you're going to have to get over your neuroses and play the market game, user.

I suggest you embrace emotions user, being a romantic is such a joy, and God does offer us an answer for an afterlife, but the instructions contained within the Bible are very pertinent concerning Philosophy and Moral matters. I'm Catholic so I'd suggest you give that a shot if you are interested in attending a church. In Europe the old churches can evoke spiritual communication with God and reinforce those sentiments. I don't know many beautiful churches like that in America tho, so good luck seeking!

I have transportation for what I plan and I said I didn't have too much capital. My plan was to start small but I'm debating whether I want to be a wagecuck (somehow) or seize the means of production here. It's a gamble.

Seize the means of production, there's no point in entering the market aiming to be a middleman.

>Who Hath His Fancy Pleased
What did Sidney mean by this poem?

Just found out my dog has cancer and has less than 4 months to live.

I'm losing the girl of my dreams, she's also my best friend. Its the closest thing I've ever had to a relationship, we've been kind of together for 4 years now, almost 5. Every day she seems further and further away. I'm feeling alienated and isolated more and more.

All of this is juxtaposed with success in academia and good prospects concerning my career. I just want to shrink away from the world.

I have an interest right now in Eastern Orthodoxy, which is kinda what inspired this thought, bc its art is absolutely gorgeous to me and definitely evokes something. The only issue I take with organized religion really is having a book tell me where my morals should lie or how to live, even if I mainly agree. I just kinda like doing things for myself and not because someone told me to ya know

you live around farm lands? What do you plan on using to make fertilizer, and how much space do you need? A lot of farmers recycle certain fertilizer or compost right? Maybe if any didnt you could get some truck and go around and see if you can pick up peoples shit... or something...or try to make a deal with all the restaruatns and supermarkets around that throw out food a little past the expiration date

Atleast you have a life desu

Yeah, I know the desire for freedom. The Catholic view is that one has as many masters as one has vices. So that someone that's telling you what to do is the vices you have. That's how I view it too, and although I am on fence sometimes about the divinity of Jesus, I would still follow his teachings if I believed he was just a man.

>just thinking man that last Allah-las album had some jams on it, overlooked for sure
>tfw i realize "calico review" = "calicore view"

Just put yourself out there. You might find someone, you might not, but the key is trying more flavors.

You explain too much

Have you considered pursuing some sort of spiritual practice? A good friend of mine with BPD took up medication and it’s helped him immensely.

Yeah idk I'm taking a history class this semester at uni with a weekly discussion section where we have to discuss primary sources in a group for participation points. Maybe I'm retarded but I can never think of anything to say - it's just a few page excerpts from Roman historians, but they always ask for questions or observations and I always have nothing because well wtf this is basic shit.

you're a brainlet, consider business school

>can't come up with any commentary on primary sources from classical antiquity

well, we can't all be gibbon and foucault i guess

just listen to Herodotus/Josephus audiobook....for an hour

I unironically enjoy Jordan B Peterson.

>recommending history audiobooks
>to an out and out pleb
user, stop

Just quit and find a job that pays just well enough for you to get by. That's what I did; it changed me for the better.

>Go to college as an English major
>Realize it's not worth shit to anyone
>Get engineering degree instead
>hired by chemical company
>Decent pay
>Leave after less than a year for a construction company
>Constantly arguing with everyone over pointless shit
>Leave
>Three jobs and five years later
>I just don't like being what I spent the most important part of my life training to be
>I haven't written more than two poems in almost nine years
>I have read ZERO books in six years
>I am not enjoying life anymore
>Quit job
>Go to work at a liquor store
>Become bookkeeper because half the staff can't do more than highschool math, and God help them try to organize a financial record for thousands of invoices and receipts.
>Fair pay, not a whole lot though
>Four years go by
>I have written just shy of a hundred poems
>One novella (a shitty one, but what else do you do with a hobby?)
>Read dozens of books of all kinds
>Actually enjoying life
>I feel like I have control of my happiness again

Good luck, user, whatever you do. I hope things look up for you.

Every day I go on facebook and get triggered by blonde beautiful uni students "traveling" and partying and blowing their daddys money

meanwhile I have a shit job that pays minimum wage, have no friends, no sex and nothing interesting every happens and I struggle to to live a basic life

and they're not doing shit in all those countries other than take a selfie for validation

Not a massive pleb, maybe a medium one, I have read both Herodotus and Thucydides tho

like wtf am I supposed to say to dumb questions like what was the author's purpose in describing the pagan gods as imaginary and illegitimate? uhh well I don't know guys the author was a christian it's pretty fucking obvious and straight forward, those were his beliefs, now let's talk about it for 20min

What do you guys think of this?
youtube.com/watch?v=o_fA-Ls4RXk

that's one ugly mutt

Chipped away, away and away. To the point where you become brittle, dry and rotting, but still alive. How come it may be so? Such state plagues and ensanares me in such a way that I can hardly find myself in the middle of it all.

I have large goals and plans for my life but can never find the motivation or self-discipline to carry them out. I have instense energy deprivation and feel that because of it I can't do anything I want. I just want to learn but my mind often diverges and spirals into an endless abyss absorbing my whole body

stop ejaculating

I should pick a book to read and stick with it until I finish it. I mean an actual written book and not a graphic novel. I love reading graphic novels, but they too easy to read. It's a personal challenge to fully read a sentence and then interpret what it means in relation to one-another. I don't do that very often. The last book I read was Flatland.

When I describe my idea for a book to my friends, it sounds a lot better in my head. I need to write my ideas down.

One way I subconsciously realize I really need to go to bed is when I feel the urge to watch a DeviantArt rant video that is over 10 minutes long. Speaking of which...

well you could point out that augustine was a ancient roman version of a fedora tipper dissing everyone's faith and traditions for his own euphoric beliefs

I which I didn't hate my mother so much. She certainly doesn't help. What a fucking cunt.

I am going to dedicate my life to attaining power enough to kill as many people as possible and fuck up the status quo of the world in such a way that all future generations will remember my name.

not so fast

are you the pseud who always posts shit like the odyssey or meditations in the edc thread

I'm confused. What am I suppose to do? lol

Monster Hunter World and Dostoevsky lads

whats the deal with making your self love someone as a muse to have motivation and inspiration to live and create but then really wanting them and being sad you arent receiving them and then not sure if its all just because you are lonely and there are many that would due as good as her but proximity and your wanting of love but not sure how much is needing a trick to receive motivation to live and create and how much is the reason to live and create being for the love of a muse and is the no motivation because no muse and no hope of muse, or whats the point of life without love, whats the point of living without loving, and not being loved is like death, and or hope is the hope of loving muse and creation for life and love, also, the nose doesnt help...nevermind, I just ate dinner and feel a lot better...ok its been a few hours after I have eaten and now the loneliness is creeping back...guess its time to look for a snack..

...

In London we have something called a 'congestion charge'. If you drive into central London, you get charged a small sum of money and doubles in price every other day. If you do not pay this sum of money, a bailiff can turn up to your house and legally take everything you own to cover the costs. If you refuse him entry, he can call the police and they can legally kick your door open.

What gives them this right? What gives them the moral authority to do this? Nothing gives them the right to do this, they just have a monopoly on violence and can threaten me with violence and imprisonment should I resist. They can exert more force than me, they can inflict more pain than me, therefore they can take whatever they want and call it 'law and order'. I have often pondered this, but today I am certain that the government is merely a gang, and the only thing that keeps them in power is the fact that they have more soldiers and can inflict more violence than any other group of people.

I know this probably seems elementary to many of you, I am just stressed because a bailiff turned up at my house today and it was an eye-opening experience.

I have a similar goal but instead of killing people I will inspire people to kill for me.

My lifelong dream since I was a wee lad has been to create a community of like minded individuals, have it grow large enough to actually start swinging elections, have my party raise to power, and create the world that I dream of. Through war and through diplomacy.

I need a job, stat. My mother cannot support my younger brother since she is currently disabled. Even a human being as ugly as me must go out to make a living and act as if people aren't spooked by my appearance. I have no-one to blame but myself, I am my own monster.

man london is fucked
you probably aren't even white

Welcome to the world my friend. Read Atlas Shrugged and go from there.

I am white. My family are originally from up north, Yorkshire and the like, only the last 3 or 4 generations moved down here.

>Renatatransex sent you a message