/fight stories/

>>"Your worst fucking nightmare"
(You)

> be in city vitising some clubs with a friend
> im 5'11 82 kg and he is 5'8 72 kg (when will we learn)
> 2 dudes who are way over 6'1 and much heavier than we are try to provoke us
> think nothing of it and leave the bar with a friend
> next bar, see them again, starting trouble all over again
> wont leave us alone
> fine, tell friend to go home but first eat a pizza
> get pizza, eating it on the way home
> the 2 guys came up to us and throw our pizza to the ground
> thats enough!
> friend and I have a tactic on a 2 on 2. We both attack the first guy, than the secound guy. No fair 1 on 1 but a 2 on 1 and than another 2 on 1
> friend said "left" and we both hit at the same time the left guy with a straight right punch
> guy falls directly to the ground
> other guy try to interfere and help his buddy
> attack the other guy from 2 sites so he couldnt even land a single punch on one of us
> push him to the ground and kick his head till he's out
> went home to my friend for a beer and some snacks to talk about the situation

Wasnt really that much of a great story, but we often get attacked or made fun of from "bigger" guys because they think if they are taller and have more mass, they are stronger.

someone got rekt to shit. u mad user?

ok let me start off by saying i got my ass kicked and i still dont know why

>be in new high school and country
>everyone in my class is also new or had been left back a year
>one day this classmate asks to see my silly band
>i give it to him
>he keeps it for like 15minutes
>ask for it back
>"No, its mine'
>think he is joking and laugh
>ask for it again, same response
>this faggot is serious
>tells the teacher(a nun) that im not wearing my uniform to distract me
>teacher tells me to put on uniform shirt
>i say sure but can you tell him to give back my silly band please
>she goes on about how kids are starving in the world and we are arguing about petty things or some shit like that
>enemy goes into back of class and comes back later after telling classmates story
>try pulling silly band away from his wrist
>says he will punch me if i break it
>realize two things may happen: 1. I break the silly band and he punches me... 2- i break the silly band and he says "trolloolol i made you break your own silly band"
>ask for my silly band back
>start taking shit from under his desk
>pencil, books, etc
>tells me to give back his shit
>my response?pretty cool if u ask me..."no, its mine" (same thing he had said to me before)
>he gets angry and stands up
>I immediately follow
>stare down(i knew he wouldnt do shit)
>we get sent to principals office
>he lied through out the whole thing claiming it was his silly band
>i kept quiet until spoken to and then i asked him if it was his then tell me and the principal what shape it had
>he guessed elephant
>it was NOT an elephant
>after that he wants to fight me
>I just say if you want to fight me fine, if not, fine.
>after school
>he fucks me up because i only threw one punch
>i think i had a panic attack because i felt electricity in my arms
>currently taking anti anxiety pills

>be at McFit, germanys cheapest gym with at least 50% arabs and or refugees training here
>Turk comes up to me, aggressively asks me if i live in Weststadt (Turkish part of town) or Nordstadt (Russian part of town)
>"Neither"
>Punches me in the face
>I am stunned and start throwing haymakers
>We end up clinching and clumsy "walk" 10m around the gym until we fall over a bench
>I land on top of him out of pure luck and start gouging his eyes
>He yells and punches me and struggles but i wont stop
>Wont stop
>something explodes in my left jaw and everything goes black

Apparently Mohammads Cousin sucker kicked me from behind, broke my jaw and had 3 teeth removed

Turkish guy lost vision in his left eye and some percentage in his right

Security Cameras caught it all and the judge cleared me of all charges because of self defence, Turk got probation for assault and his Cousin got 1 year for heavy assault

Its been a clusterfuck of paperwork, but it looks like the cousin will have to pay around 80% of my dental bill of 17000€

Dude... are you actually 12 years old?

Based

Fuck mudslimes brah, sad thing is your probably one of the few Germany men who actually lift

Dude u should have kicked his ass right in the middle of the class. I despise people like that. theyre not even real bullies, just fuck annoying people. Still
>silly band

Holy Fuck normally id be screaming fake at the top of my lunges, but because you said McFit i believe you

As a german i find ways to navigate around the lowlife Turks and Arabs but as astudent i can only afford McFit and i've never seen a fist fight past elementary school pre McFit, now its more like once a month

What's your deal with suplexes op
Lmfao

The fuck? What, guys just regularly go to the gym and try to fight whoever is not from the same place as them?

10/10 power fantasy

yes brahs i know its a stupid thing to fight over but imagine if i let that shit slide...next time it could have been my books getting stolen, my waifu, or something greater.

It was the principal of the matter... the dude was just being a cunt for no reason and thought he could get away with it...well think again faggot.

also he got expelled top kek

Muslims

They're usually cunts due to enable pressure and respect. I know this because i did this to a dyel landwhale/co/fag in mine. But with his wallet. Faggot reported me and i got suspended. I told him to meet me up in the basketball field so I could kick his ass. He never made it and chickened out. He is in the same major as i am, until i drop out this june ofc, and always tries to unacknowledge me.

Bruh in this Anons strory that might have been the story but its not the norm.

In my ~1year of McFit ive seen more than 10 fights break out. 100% of the time the aggressor was a foreigner.

Heres a list of the reasons, if i caught them:

>Thats my bench bro
>Fuck off you've been using it way too long come back when im done bitch (shoves dude away)
>Ding Ding Ding FIGHT

>Arab1 comes into weightlifting room showboasting his actually 9/10 grill
>Other Arab whistles at her
>Arab1 proud as fuck
>Arab2 talks about how hard hed fuck that chick in the ass
>Okay Gentleman, obey my commands at all time, protect yourself at all times, makes this a fair fight, GO!

>Roiders talk about their cycles
>scrawny german manlet looks in their direction
>"Tell one word to anybody about this and well fucking kill you i swear"
>Punches him as he leaves the scared kid

I actually thought my time had come too, but they didnt even bother with me. Maybe my muscles helped as a disguise or so

>People are queuing for the showers
>Arab posoitions himself between the line of people and the showers
>Seconds after, two hairy naked arab men roll around on the floor and random arabs start kicking them yelling in arabic

>turkish 16 year old mires himself in the mirror
>turns around still checking hymself out, bumps into some guys barbell thats badly positioned on a bench and drops it
>"owner" of the barbell proceeds to stomp this kid

>German brings his Gf for the first time
>while squatting, Turk comes over and starts a chat with them
>non-chalantly touches her ass while looking the guy in the eye
>time freezes until the german rekt him with hooks

Gotta love McFit

hopefully ill finish my degree soon and can upgrade to a premium spa/gym

Based kraut of kebab removal.

I love how you fuckers tell tales of fights like you're proud of it.

Against people who fight mean you'd get destroyed. You probably never fougth against arabs or niggers.

youtube.com/watch?v=KCvD6_A_tIY

You'd probably get demolished like the dude.

/ttnh/ Things that never happened general

Sounds terrible. I remember some anons talking about fights in the very same place in another thread and it sounds like a shithole.

we can't all be as sheltered as you user

whats with the suplex? You like banging the back of your Head on concrete or are there simply not enough brain cells left to make a difference?

Only been in one "fight" outside of a ring or off a mat.
Some douche sucker punched one of my friends outside of a bar, I tackled the guy to the ground before the fight could go further, bouncer handled the guy from there.
My friend had his jaw broken by the sucker punch, I went to the hospital with him, he had his jaw wired shut for 8 weeks. Not really cool, not really a great story, but my only true fighting story (besides in karate and boxing in sanctioned matches, but those aren't the kind of stories we're looking for here I guess).

I act like I'm a tough guy because im 6'3 and big, because girls like that but truth is im a pussy... have one decent story however

>be about 15
>"sports day" with school, go to a soccer field (europoor) to play sports and shit
>me a some friends decide to take our water bottles to spray water onto people
>really good time, people are getting angry
>decide to target this one dude Jacob, dudes well over 6' at 15 years old and we all know he was anger control issues
>we all go to him, spray water in his face and then run in different directions
>he chases after me as I run through the empty soccer field, and being a giant aswell as a mad man he catches me, drags me to the ground and punches me several times in the belly before I can get loose
>he calls me a faggot, I call him a faggot and then proceed to walk away, thinking its over
>dude either runs or sneaks up (didnt notice him until he was upon me) drags me to the ground and tries to shove my face in the dirt
>adrenaline rushing, I overpower him and puts him in a choke lock as he's punching me in the chest and belly
>im just yelling shit like "fucking faggot" and "pussy ass bitch" and shit like that as i release the choke and try to punch him in the face
>dude quicklly rolls over onto is stomach
>deliver 5-6 strikes in his back with all my strength as Im screaming at him
>after the strikes just walk way, notice everyone is just staring at us
>turns out the dude got muscle bleeding in his back muscles, couldnt leave his bed even so missed school for three weeks

Surprisingly I didnt even get suspended or anything, I guess everyone saw that he attacked me from behind and guessed I defended myself

Muay thai fag here, never really had a hardcore brawl because most assholes who try to start shit are confident drunks with little to no skills. Have had fags swing on me at clubs and concerts, but they might as well have had polio because of the lack of coordination and how slow they swing. Usually a hard leg kick makes most think twice. Have had a marine buddy throw a beer bottle at some angry lanklets head in a bar like it was a fucking molotov cocktail. Keks abound

youd be suprised how little fucks teachers give about bullying - my mum is a teacher and she told me that 95% of her collegues just want to go home after a long day.

If that means covering the school bully because they dont want to spend 5+ hours talking to enraged parents about bullying, then thats exactly what theyll do.

Against that guy? No.

But that goes for anyone though. Just because they're niggers doesn't mean they know how to fight. Arabs even less so. People who know how to fight know how to fight.
The only thing that's really consistent is that they will fight.

Niggers aren't mythical beast that all know how to fight. Most of them don't at all. Exceptions exist but it's the same for every race.

The only people that are universally terrible at fighting are people from the UK.

How long did it take you to get used to blocking or checking kicks?

I somehow fell into an mma sparring session and couldn't find my ass because it was kicked off.

>that first left hook

and youre trying to tell me the black guy doesnt know how to fight? Shit, the white dude even realized that his stand up game was inferior so he tried to grapple, which makes he think maybe hes not completely oblivious to fighting

taks like 3 month

your shins will never stop hurting after sparring though

this is the only story in this thread ill believe, because you didnt make yourself look like a superhero, only won by luck and got your shit kicked in at the end

Ever feel bad aboutblinding a dude?

And why the fuck are only 80% of your dental costs covered?

He may have been in more fights but, that doesn't mean he could beat someone who also knows how to fight.

I've seen lots of black people fight and most were fucking terrible at it, their saving grace being they weren't afraid of being hit (experience) and the other person also couldn't fight very well either.

please watch the video

im not interested in your rant why black dudes win most internet fight videos, just look at the video again and you will notice the black dude is trained in some combat sport / MA

Probably boxing since he didnt even think of kicking when his opponent was on the floor or MMA under a ruleset that forbids kicks to a lying opponent

>knuckleduster
>with four or of his friends
>sucker punches
Trademark nignog.

I saw the video m8 and what I said still stands. If that kid knew more about fighting or clinching he would have KO'd him or crushed his nose with a knee or thrown him leaving him on top.

If he was better at fighting that one hook wouldn't have downed him and he would still have a hold on his dumbass jacket.

>you will notice the black dude is trained in some combat sport / MA

No. Hes not. If he was he would've tried to clinch back or grab his coat. He was getting swung around before he got that one punch off.

Few years ago

> out clubbing
> guy from my platoon gets punched in the face
> we round up 25+ people in the same building within 10 seconds and beat the shit out of the 4 'tough guys'
> bouncers didn't even respond
> throw their unconscious asses outside and go back to having a good time

Fucking mudslimes 4 v 1 should have payed attention to how many soldiers were in that club.

I'm not saying he doesn't know how to fight, I'm saying I would body him in one shot. I'm bigger, stronger, faster, and I know how to punch and move. Plus there was nothing special about that hook anyway besides the noise which means fuck all. The punch he dropped him with that he snuck in was much better. Not to mention your point was "mean" and that nigger let him stumble away after the hook when he could have laid into him.

But one example of a negro toying with a terrible white person doesn't give credit to the whole race. A lot more people than not don't know how to fight.

It's the same as my race. Indians. Which means fighting and stabbing. And they're not very good at either.

It's a gamble on who knows how to fight but chances are low that they don't know how regardless. All you can do is just better yourself in preparation. But I don't like to fight anyway so it doesn't really matter. Know how, don't do it.

>25 vs 4 is somehow better than 4 v 1

I knew you welfare queens were fucking bloodthirsty retards, but I didn't think you were THIS fucking stupid and this fucking cheap. I spit on you pieces of shit, wouldn't trust any of you to defend a fucking McDonald's bathroom, let alone our country.

Nigger cuck detected. Enjoy sucking aids dick.

Its just camaraderie m8. It would happen anywhere you have allies.

Hell, if you were at a bar with all your faggot friends and another trans queen tried to test you im sure your cocksmoking buddies would have your back.

He kept his hands down the entire time. Great skill.

You realize you're defending all niggers by looking at some pussy high school kids fighting while one had a knuckleduster, don't you?

Lol I really hope you didn't think this was actually some kind of insulting comeback. A gibberish insult on the level of a toddler. Just as stupid as i expected but that's why you're a welfare queen instead of successful.

where is he seen using a knuckleduster?

Are gay jokes really the best you retards got? Fucking lol do you even know where you are right now?

More welfare than niggers, more violent than niggers, more stupid than niggers- aren't soldiers great?

you dont believe my story brah?

Never been in a fight in my life. Only niggers get into fights over nothing.

lol this nigger doesnt know how to fight, keeping his hands down at his sides, no one does that if they know anything about fighting. not to mention all his buddies in the background, probably why the white dude didnt want to fight, hed get his ass kicked in by 5 poeple at once. also, black dude clearly just sucker punched him in the face at the begggining

>two roided chavs always trying to stare me down in the gym for no reason
>goes on for ages, they do little shit like move my weights when i'm refilling water bottle
>getting changed one day, they walk in, see me and laugh
>ask what their problem is
>one calls me a faggot and tells me to stfu, tells me not to go to the gym anymore

Now, being a weak pussy at the time, I started training early in the morning as opposed to late at night to avoid them... six months later I had becmoe a lot bigger, but more than that I'd spent a few months training in boxing and Muay Thai. I realised I shouldn't be afraid of some wannabe gangsters, so I started going late again.

>a few weeks pass without me seeing them, wonder if they switched gyms
>leaving gym one night, see one of them walking to his car alone
>late at night on a saturday, car park is empty and the gym was extremely quiet
>run up to him, push him then kick his leg out from underneath him
>look around, can't see anyone plus we're partially concealed on one side because of two huge bins
>start calling him all the thinks i'd wanted to, now he was the girl hair, the faggot, the bitch
>he's protesting, saying he didn't mean to, trying to scramble away
>start kicking his ribs and stamping on his chest
>he looks like he's reaching into his jacket for something for something (he's slow as fuck so not really worried) so I stamp on his face
>at this point i think he's in no position to fight back
>suddenly get a great idea, need to piss pretty bad
>unzip my jeans and let fly all over his body, laughing as i drench him
>he's lying there hunched over gurgling in pain
>kick him hard 5 times in the ribs, laughing like a maniac at this point
>tell him don't fuck with me again and take his gym bag, shoes + phone, throw it all in a river near my house on the way home

>Be at McFit
>as usual, the showers are overcrowded so gym buddy and me form a line like normal people
>two syrian refugees walk past us, look into the shower, look at us
>position themselves between us and the showers
>tap one of them on the shoulder, tell him we were here first
>He smiles kindly and turns around
>tap him again on shoulder, explain in sign language
>no reaction
>getting ready to blow some steam
>one shower gets empty and he fucking sprints there and looks at us with this shit eating grin
>What do i do now?
>Physically remove him and grapple with a naked hairy arab? Fuck no
>Beat him up and potentially get sued? Fuck no
>let him shower, he comes to the entrance of the shower and uses his card to activate the shower for ANOTHER 5 minutes
>get a glimps on his name printed on his card
>Have GF tell the gym staff that they both sexually harassed her; they had snuk into the womens locker room and made obszene gestures to her while she was showering
>Drops hints that she would not turn this into a huge publicity stunt if she never had to see them again
>banned for life

intelligence beats pure testosteron anons

>Out with a few mates
>All of us are shitfaced
>Walking through some woods on the way to another bar
>Guy comes out from some bushes and asks if I want to buy some coke
>He looks like a fucking psychopath, skinhead with tattoos all over his face
>However I am very drunk
>Grab the bag off him and have a look at it, never seen cocaine before and wanted to see it for some reason
>Hand him it back
>Bag has tore a little bit and some spilled out
>Whatever, I keep walking with mates
>Few minutes later hear someone sprinting behind us
>It's the psycho, he noticed the bag was ripped
>Grabs my collar and slams me against the wall
>Everything goes black for a second
>Screaming at me to pay for his coke
>Notice a huge ass wart on his eyelid
>Start laughing
>He is shaking with rage
>Everything goes black again for a second
>Little wart is quivering because he is so angry
>I'm laughing even harder
>Everything keeps going black
>Still laughing like shit at this guy's wart
>Girl who I assume is the psychopaths girlfriend is suddenly behind him, starts shouting at him to get his knife out
>During all his my mates are sat in the background just watching and not doing anything
>I stop laughing at the word knife and look at the guys gf
>Wonder if she has an eyelid wart too
>Start laughing like fuck again
>Psycho says fuck this and lets go, takes a few steps away from me giving me a weird look
>Grabs his girl and leaves
>Hear her ask what the fuck he's doing
>Look around at my mates and then go inside for a beer

Turns to the guy pinned me against the wall and started beating the fucking shit it of me, captain falcon tier punches to the face and I didn't even fucking blink, just started laughing louder and louder while staring him out till he lost his nerve and bolted. Was so drunk I didn't even notice he was hitting me

Had a pretty serious black eye the next day though

show 600lb DL or you lie

Witty kraut

Every time this gets rewritten it catches me off guard.

congrats on the victory pikminbrah

u do realize this nigger doesnt have a fucking clue how to fight right? he fucking turns his back, too bad this white betafuck went for a knee instead of just throwing him down, then again the niggerherd behind them would've fucked him up anyway so doesnt really matter

Lol that's alpha as fuck lad

You stole somebody's wallet and then got mad that he reported you, so then you decided to fight him.

user, this is an 18+ website, go back to talking about retarded high school parties with your fellow freshnen.

??

i dont understand what you just called me , is it some sort of slang?

>at germany gymnasium (highest education in Germany)
>Turk is the school bully while being super intelligent and rocking the marks
>beats me up so bad that i need two implants
>Sue the shit out if him
>he gets sentenced because of heavy assault
>he can avoid jail if he goes to a certain kind of school aimed at troubled kids
>the best degree he can make there is Realschule, basically a useless degree nowadays
>i see him working in a supermarket several times a week

imagine if i had fought back. He might have gotten his shit fucked up, but my way of dealing with it ruined his whole life

look up "kraut"
Es ist eigentlich seltsam, dass du "kraut" nich kennst.

Get out of my anglosphere.

oooooh ok

>das Fühl wenn du immer scheisse in geschichte warst

Without much pain almost a year honestly. It didn't help much having sparring partners with massive powerful legs, and hatred in their hearts

Most beginners dont realize how much of a factor timing is when it comes to checking kicks and shin pain

if you check right, you will "catch" the kick before its developed its full power and therefore it will not hurt your shin as much

If you just hold your shin up for your opponent to smash a full force rear low kick against it, there will be some bruises. For both of you

Hit it on the head user.

If you have any good/odd fight stories, share them. I'm interested.

Joke?

>Be me
>brother dies in car accident
>father blames because I moved seats even though he was driving
>6 years of fighting him
>17 broken bones (including 3 ribs at the same time)
>700ish fights later he gets taken out by the cops
>never gave up

11ish years later
>be me
>be 2 winters ago
>be everybody's friend happy drunk guy
>at a country bar pretty drunk
>need to piss
>line up at the mens washroom with like 15 people
>walk past 3/4 of the line
>2nd or 3rd guy at front of line shit talks me
>"What do you fucking think your doing you tiny dick faggot"
>u wot m8
>push him into wall
>he punches me in face
>spear him onto ground
>feel his shoulder dislocate
>punch him in the face 3 times
>feel his nose break
>bouncers kick him out of bar
>bouncers are all my friends

The last fight I got into was completely retarded and for no reason
>be at a different bar
>drunk
>doing the laps around the bar talking with everyone
>see 3 guys and 1 girl sitting at table
>go sit at the booth
>girl says 2 of the guys are relatives and 1 is a "friend"
>2 random sloots come sit at booth
>original girl is raging at them for some reason
>"Get the FUCK out of my booth I AM TALKING TO HIM"
>one of the random sloots tell me "You need to control your slut girlfriend"
>They leave
>3 minutes later 3 bouncers come up to me
>They are all at least 8 inches shorter than me
>Tallest is 5'8 at most
>Bouncers: "You need to leave"
>Me: From the bar or the table? and why?
>Bouncers: "You need to leave"
>Me: "Whatever ill get up and leave just don't touch me"
>stand up and two of them grab me on each arm
>they drag me out the front door and throw me into a wall
>so I punched one in the temple and he goes down
>punched another in the throat, he went down
>get rushed by 7 bouncers
>landed some punches on them
>get pushed to the ground and kicked in the face
>felt my nose break again
>they fuck off
>Yell at them and tell them that I am going to my truck to grab my rifle
>go get mcdicks instead

Only had one aside from getting beaten by bullies:

>be in middle school during gym
>having gym bantz with this guy named james, cracking jokes
>I crack a joke about his dad and he pushes me.
>didn't realize it was a hot button for him so I apologize and squash it there

Then at lunch
>two of my bullies say I need to finish my fight
>tell them to fuck off
>they try and trick me by saying the james was talking shit
>ignore them
>james comes up and asks me why I'm talking shit
>gullible fucking James
>tries to judo flip me but my dad taught me how to break holds and basic self defense
>do that quick palm thrust to his nose.
>ignore fucking works, James is done.
>everyone starts chanting fight
NOPE.PNG
>run at the thought of my dad beating my ass for fighting
>He finds out and takes me to pizza Hut for winning

What a weird day

I meant the palm shit worked, fucking auto correct

and this is why you faggots shouldn't watch anime
the only fucking thing missing is telling your life story while jumping over someone's head in slowmotion
fucking hell m8

Underrated post mate. Love those stories.

Great friends you have there.

your friends are fucking cowards mate, me and my buddies would never allow that to happen to any of us

>fucking up a mudshit
>one of his 600 cousins comes to the rescue

i believe you, i've seen and heard about this shit before. some little paki runt has a go at a white guy, gets his shit pushed in and then half a dozen of his cousins come from somewhere and pile on the white guy, it usually involves a stabbing.

got some more from my childhood:

>skating on skatepark
>turkish kid asks me if he can try it too
>shoves my skateboard away and laughs in my face
>my older brother starts screaming at him
>skaters gater
>5 20years looking dudes from the turkish squat with baseballbats approach
>all skaters run (mind you, we were 10-16)
>turks are yelling and partying in the now empty skate park

>at a random party a drunk slav accuses my whole group of friends of calling him faggot
>like he heard it from 20 meters or whatever
>he kept on challenging one of us to come forward and fight
>his friend shows up with a baseball bat and tells us to cool it, if he attacks he will knock his friend out
>the guy rants drunkenly for 10 minutes then wanders off with baseball boy

>when i was 14 there was a lost industrial complex where we would all sneak out at night to party at
>one night some arabs with a black mercedes showed up and offered us coke, mdma, ecstay, weed etc.
>they ripped the one dude who bought some off really bad for 25€, he received like 0.5g then left

>cousin comes home from school with black eye
>tells me an albanian guy had thrown his döner at him so they fought
>both were expelled from school

>in sports class some Ali once broke the teachers nose by kicking the ball in his head (he was on the field)
>he humiliated everyone in football
>he also broke some school records in sport but then got expelled from school and from his football starteam
>still buy weed from him in his shitty apartment

Few weeks ago
>half brother outside arguing with my dad
>neice and nephew down stairs screaming
> i run out the house see my half brother go to hit my dad
>rage
>he trys to peddle off
>run beside him
>throw him off the bike
>punch him 5 or so times in the side of the head
>hes lying unconscious on the grass outside my house
>face is bleeding
>blood on my hand
>Im standing there shaking as the adrenalin leaves my body
>realise what i did
>sisters screaming kids are screaming
>entire family thinks I'm a psycho even though i thought i was protecting my family
fuck this shit

forgot to mention my half brother is 5 years old

hes 37 actually you prick 12 years older than me

1 v 4 v 25=something to brag about appearantly. literally just cowards.

too many keks were had

>getting shitfaced and starting fights
>were slavs

Slavs were put on earth to remove kebab and they do a pretty damn good job of it

>yfw nerdy weak highschooler with glasses and pasty skin
>go on field trip with class to this science place where they do research on insects
>I'm taking pictures for the school paper
>about to snap a shot of this sweet spider
>yfw chad comes up behind me and shoulder checks me
>camera nearly falls out of hand
>I turn around to look at him
>he smirks with smugness
>go to take another picture
>set up the shot
>yfw chads friend comes from the other side and shoulder checks me
>my buddy steps in and says "leave him alone"
>chads friend: "or what?"
>chad: "or his father will fire your father"
>chads start laughing
>chad whispers into my ear "whats daddy gonna do, sue me?"
>yfw the teacher butts in and says the next person who speaks out will fail his class

kek'd fucking hard

You deserve to have your ass beat

I would say I have two interesting ones from combat sports.
I started karate fairly late, at age 15. When I was 17 I was in my second tournament, and I was up against some fat old dude (not really fat or old, but chubby and probably in his early 30s, so fat and old to cocky idiot 17 year old me).
I was beating him handily in point sparring, when all of a sudden, at the start of the seventh round, he pulled out a spinning back kick which, to this day, I don't know how he managed without falling over. I don't recall this part, but his heel hit my temple, and the next thing I did recall was opening my eyes to the count of seven, and standing up. I somehow muddled my way through the match, beating him, but I learned a valuable lesson that day, and that was to never take a win for granted, and never let your guard down when you know you're in a conflict situation. I finished the tournament, there was only one match left after that, and I lost, though it was close, and then I went to the hospital and found out I was concussed.
The other funny story is about how much of a difference fitness level can make in a fight.
I started boxing the year after karate (age 16) and took to it a good bit better. At age 20, I was in my third real match, and I had dropped karate and begun weightlifting at this point. At 5'9", 165 pounds, I was a little short for my weight class. However, I was also very lean, and trained really hard. When the bell rang, I was off, it was the first time I really felt "confident" in the ring, and by God did it show. Nothing fancy, but plenty of hard, fast straight shots to the body and a couple to the head and I knew I had it. The adrenaline was crazy, and I didn't let up, my opponent had no chance. I wound up breaking his ribs and winning in 5 rounds. It felt pretty good, I gotta say. Nothing weird, but it's one of those things, when you're "on" in something, on a hot streak, it makes a difference.