Pick up a girl from a nightclub

>pick up a girl from a nightclub
>get to her place
>nervous as fuck
>tell her im a virgin to take off pressure
>how are you still a virgin user?
>I-I never lost my virginity because I never lose

That was last night, I'm still a virgin. How are my fellow virgins holding up? Probably going to get a hooker this weekend

>I-I never lost my virginity because I never lose

lol you can talk tough online all you want but if Big P and Rich were here we both know you wouldn't say shit. You'd use more respectful language. They've been known to have quite the temper, especially Big P. You might upset and you definitely don't want to do that. Wouldn't end well for you.

don't worry

34 year old kiss-less virgin here

You should seriously just hire a hooker if your nerves are that bad. Get it over with. It's not that big of a deal.

>get girl home
>don't have sex

Literally how is this possible?

hopefully you learned your lesson. Dont tell a girl youre still a virgin. Virgins get clingy with whoever they lose their virginity to and past a certain age, no one wants to deal with that. just fake it til you make it. Even if you are a 3 pump chump and cry after youre done, at least you still had sex and can learn from it. Youll never have to see her again just like youll never see the girl from last night again.

>I-I never lost my virginity because I never lose

fuck you not everyone is good with women

>I-I never lost my virginity because I never lose
Holy kek

Im sorry though user, I guess you still got farther than me by going to a girls house...

Not a virgin but I'm absolutely terrified of talking to girls at bars

How do I fix this?

stop giving a fuck

die inside

Stop thinking of them, and yourself as human.

That's what I used to do when I was an immoral degenerate and hated myself.

Look for church girls, high school girls, or fats/uggos. All you need is 1 to not be a virgin.

I like this post

Have you started showing signs of magical powers yet?

That's such a great line, though.

For serious, though, just don't them you're a virgin.

Like 80% of guys only last 2 seconds anyway. They probably won't even know you're a virgin unless you tell them.

Seriously don't say youre a virgin. I had a chance to lose my v card a year or two before I did to a pretty hot girl but I was beta and got nervous. We were at our friends mom's house in her bed and I felt had boning a girl in a parents bed. Anyways she asked me what was wrong and all that, and I said I was nervous/was a virgin. She never talked to me after that.

no dude. you were being self centered. literally say nothing until you run it by this filter:
> Is what I'm going to say going to make her wet?
if no think of something else to say, keep touching her till she says no

if yes say it

The first one is hard the rest fall like dominoes. There is only so much spaghetti in your pockets. Go into every bar, with the goal of emptying 100% of your spaghetti or running every girl out of the bar.
After about 3000 approaches nothing was ever difficult. I call girls sluts first thing and get their contact info, I say my cocks not gonna suck itself and they eat it up.

Give your noodle away bro. Just pretend she's an onahole.
Fuck her in the ass first
Ever have a blowjob?

bro this is personal. why are you getting personal? she doesn't know you like that. Why do you want to burden her with your personal bullshit? She's a girl they're hyper fucking logical, they're gonna think of a million and one reasons not to fuck you, every instant. Don't spoon feed her reality on top of that. Her brain will literally stack overflow and restart all functions including vagina.

>I-I never lost my virginity because I never lose

You're afraid of emotional bondings. You've probably been hurt in the past when someone you liked died and you don't want to be as disappointed ever again. The solution to this is to write that dead person a letter and tell him/her what you think or never had the chance to tell him/her

oh no idk who that even would be

yeah I can vouch for this, I didn't tell the girl I lost my V's to. I told her a few years later and she was so surprised.

>I never lose

Fucking holy kek

I'm laffin

Probably more like all my childhood friends suddenly stopped talking to me, and the ones I made in HS joined the military leaving me with only 1 real friend.

If he left id probably go postal

yeah same thing kinda happened to me i guess

Have confidence, user.

Easier said than done, sure. But once you can do this, everything becomes easier.

I used to be somewhat hesitant to talk to girls, but when you just say "fuck it" and go for it, everything works out. Turns out, women are happy to have someone to talk to.

Generally I just introduce myself and ask about their day. Already you've established that you're not a pussy like most of the other guys at the bar. Again, chicks dig confidence.

Hope that the girl doesn't have a bf (can be awkward to ask, so I usually don't). If she does, oh well, chances are you can meet her single friends.

Truthfully though, confidence isn't EVERYTHING. Of course other things matter. Being kind matters as well.

Failure to be friendly and polite will almost guarantee rejection. Don't fall for the "nice guy meme" meme.

Always ask yourself, "if some guy treated me this way, would I want them to be my gym bro". If not, you're treating her wrong.

Careful though, you don't want to get TOO fedora of course.

Eager-niceness is what I've taken to calling this...

For example complimenting her hair is good but don't immediately tell her how beautiful she is before even introducing yourself.

Remember this simple rule: "gymbro nice, not fedora nice". That should keep you from coming off as autistic.

Autism isn't something you should be worried about TOO much when talking to women though, otherwise you won't appear confident.

Me, I've basically followed these simple rules my whole life. I don't even work out much and eat lots of junk food like pizza, but I have no problem laying any attractive women I set my mind to.

Expect results to vary though. For of course, the MOST IMPORTANT features are spelled out at the beginning of each line. Failure to meet those basic requirements pretty much guarantees never exciting a woman, and dying a pathetic virgin.

A-at least we still have eachother...

i wasn't really interested into sex and prozac killed what little sex drive i had so now i'm cool, pretty cool, actually.

also
>I-I never lost my virginity because I never lose
kek

Lost my virginity last summer when I was 22. I did not tell her anything about it. I turned out to be quite good after she told me a few stuff. She had to tell me where to put my legs at some point and to stop kissing her while fucking her. Also she told me to talk to her while fucking her and I was completely clueless. However, despite all that shit she came and I fuckked that girl all summer. I ended up getting her pregnant but thats another story.

Anyway moral of the story is, don't tell her. Act like you have fucked tons of gitla. Even though you will probably make minor screw ups its gonna be fine in the end.

Holy shit thank you user

>tell her im a virgin to take off pressure

Assuming for a second you're not a troll, how old are you, user?

>Turns out, women are happy to have someone to talk to.

50/50 on this one. Some are massive bitches that seem to be at the bar just to make guys feel bad. Not sure what is going through their head..

>>I-I never lost my virginity because I never lose

I sincerely do not believe you

it's one thing to not be good with women, but the fact that OP got back to the bitch's place and fucked it up is astronomically bad

that subtlety, kekeke

2 times in 2 years wew lad

Wat

#autism the post

>my face after reading this entire post

I "heh" 'd

24.

>28 y/o virgin
>Girl I went on a couple of dates with like 6 months ago texts me for a booty call,
>Go around, nervous as fuck
>Got blown out hard like a month ago when I told a girl I was a virgin, not making that mistake again
>Have a couple of drinks, can't stop shaking
>Finger her and eat her out a bit, she cums like 3 times, when it comes to actually having sex can't get hard or get hard and only stay hard for like 2 - 3 minutes
>tfw finally had the feel of PIV but only briefly
>tfw too anxious and stuck in my head to actually enjoy it
>Blame it on antidepressants (which I'm not on)
>She's like that's ok, we'll do it again sometime

I feel no fucking different. Actually, scratch that, I feel fucking worse, can't even get out of my head and enjoy shit when it happens.

fucking this.
I was sort of into a girl but not that much. We go on a couple of dates and she's aight. We finally end up kissing and it feels off but I don't know why.
Eventually when it starts to get heavier and I get her shirt off then start to reach towards her pants she stops me and tells me she's a virgin.
btw I was 29 and she was 26.
Anyway, record scratch. I continue to make out and act like things are cool but never kiss her again cause I don't want to deal with that shit.

If she had just not told me and said she wanted to take things slow we probably would have hooked up again and I might have even banged her

Wanna fugg but 5.5*4.5
Is it over for me

ebin, simply ebin

2 things

They are not in the mood, you can make way if you know how

They are challenging you, if you don't give up you can make your way too, if you know how of course

Hahahaha good one familia

If that line didn't work, she wasn't worth your time.

TRUTH JUST couldn't be LAID down on us any GREASIER than THIS

>She's a girl they're hyper fucking logical

what

Man if you came up with that line on the fly you are one witty bastard

Good post

>She's a girl they're hyper fucking logical
dafuq did i just read?
Girls arent logical but they do think of milions of reasons not to fuck so youre right there

Sometimes there is a reason. 2 weeks ago I got my, what I thought was my dreamgirl over. After 15 minutes of normal banter she starts telling every fucking thing that ever happened to her. Being molested, her father and uncle blowend up indrong of her when she was young, the hiv scares she had, the fucked up shit she did to her exes, etc. I made an excuse to get her to leave asap.
Now shes constantly asking why we didnt fuck and why I'm not giving her attention anymore.
Fuck that crazy whore, dont wanna end up like her exes

>She's a girl they're hyper fucking logical,

>meet grill on tinder, qt blonde, blue eyed Dutch girl with a phat ass
>meet up at the uni bar, we hit it off and start snogging
>agree to meet up again
>she messages me on fb saying she's super horny and wants me to come over
>I jump on my motorbike and head over
>meet outside Tesco, go back to hers
>have a laugh again, watching some program about kids in primary school
>she says she's tired and wants an early night
>I take off my shirt and jeans and jokingly say don't look
>make sure to flex my back as I'm taking my shirt off (5'10 195 at about 14%, was joocy at the time) she comments on my arms tho
>get into bed, lay there awkwardly
>wait for her to make a move
>nope.jpeg
>whatever maybe she actually is tired
>sleep
>next morning she bertstares me as I walk out of hers
>messages me on fb saying we shouldn't talk anymore
>be super upset and lift my troubles away

>tfw I'm a solid 8/10 and always get comments and groped from grills at work
>tfw it's been nearly 2 years since I've done anything with a grill and I can't bring myself to go on another date

>wait for her to make a move
wut?

That was my first time going back to a girls place, I didn't and still don't know exactly what to expect or do m8

Ah now it makes sense. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself m8. 2 years is a long time to get hung up on a bad situation like that. Not worth it imo, hope you're able to let go of it and move on. You'll make it.

I think it was ironic but you took it literally, you fucking autist

you again

...

oh my god hahahahahah someone cap this

i've had many a time when i've been too autistic to make a move or even just realise what was going on

>be me at some pub with my mates
>heaps of girls around
>it's closing time
>this 7.5/10 girl i vaguely knew comes up to me
>she puts her hands on my waist and says 'user what are you doing now? do you want to split a cab back to mine?'
>too drunk to realise what she's implying and say 'haha nah fuck that i wanna get maccas'
>her face when
>then i say to her 'give us a kiss though'
>peck her on the lips and fuck off to go get a big mac

Needed that laugh, thanks a bunch, user.

another one

>ex gf invites me over
>horny as fuck so think to myself fuck it why not
>go over there
>first we get in the pool and swim for about 5 minutes
>it was overcast as fuck, obviously she just wanted to get in the pool so we were wearing less clothes
>get out
>go into her room, im still just wearing a towel
>she stays in her bikini
>we lay down on her bed and start watching tv
>she's just laying there facing me wearing nothing and im only wearing a towel
>do nothing
>make no move
>eventually her dad comes home and im like oop time to go
>bail

fuck lads, if there's one thing i've learnt it's that girls will NEVER make the first move when it gets down to business

fucken mint bru

and another one

>its like a saturday night or some shit
>ask my high school oneitis if she wants to go check out this band
>i pick her up and we go
>she starts drinking, gets pretty sloppy
>i stay sober
>we both have a good time
>we leave
>driving home, still having a good time, laughing together lots and being flirty
>she's all over me
>when i go to drop her off at her house she lingers in the car for ages
>eventually when it becomes awkward she just stares at me
>look her in the eyes for about 10 seconds
>dont make a move
>'alright, see ya' she says

FAAARRRKKKKK WHYYYY

...

last one, same girl as the previous too. my oneitis from high school

>hit up party with my mate
>it's out in bumfuck on some cunt's property, we have no lift home organised
>get there, pretty decent party
>we start sinkin beers (very best aka violent blacks aka vaginal backwash)
>start chillin with oneitis and her friend
>we are laughing having a good time
>she's pissed, sloppy as fuck as usual
>she falls off her chair
>gets up make a big deal
>says 'user can you make sure i don't have a bruise on my bum'
>im sitting there and she literally pulls up her skirt for me about a foot away from my face
>shes wearing a thong
>'ahhh yepp all good...'
>my mate's face when
>night goes on, we get more pissed together
>eventually at about 11pm this other girl i knew was like 'hey user do you want a lift home?'
>because i don't wanna get stuck out there me and my mate agree
>oneitis is like 'no user dont go just stay here :( :(
>nah gotta get home
>say goodnight oneitis and kiss her, first and only time i kissed her
>bail

fuck im stupid, i could have just stayed and rooted her, wouldnt have mattered where i slept. funny though, the only times she seemed like she had feelings for me were when she was pissed.

but yeah me and my mate got a lift home with this chick and her friend (a girl i went to school with). she dropped the three of us near my house and we grabbed some more alcohol and headed down to the beach. me and my mate definitley had some weird idea that we were gonna put her on the spit and become dick buds. what ended up happening was we got down there and she was like 'guys its cold lets go' and we started to walk her home, still with big ambitions. halfway there she was like oh my boyfriend is gonna pick me up see ya guys!

>you're cute
>thanks you're not so bad either
I don't think me being a virgin was a concern anymore

Fuck HFF guy is evolving.

>mfw people are actually taking this as genuine advice and not noticing the true evil in this post

D E V I L I S H

>tell her im a virgin

for what purpose

my first time was a very similar experience. as you get more confident and more familiar with what you're doing your boner will be the one waiting for you instead of the other way around. you'll enjoy it more and more progressively. don't beat yourself over it

Lost my virginity at 25 last year when I went on my first tour as a sailor. Proceeded to fuck 8 more bitches several times after that over the course of 6 months, once I got over those first awkward couple of times (just blame it on alcohol).

Im 26 now. It didnt take me long at all to realize sex isnt even that great. Many times after sticking it in a girls pussy I barely felt shit, it was like my dick got a tad bit warmer from her body heat and that was it. Several times I told the girl to just finish me off with an iron grip hand job. Condoms also suck, very, very much.

Kinda sucks knowing sex isnt as cool as you thought it would be, but also relieving being basically 100% free of a bitch's pussy pass. Fapping can truly bring stronger orgasms, and no im not trolling.

>I-I never lost my virginity because I never lose

No.

Dont say anything. You and her both get drunk before initiating anything sexual. That way, if the sex is sloppy, you can just laugh it off and blame it on the alcohol. Even Shane Diesel and Natt Turner lose their boners to alcohol every once in a blue moon. It worked for me my first time, not that it was particularly sloppy, but I couldnt keep a boner to save my life.

>I don't even work out much and eat lots of junk food like pizza, but I have no problem laying any attractive women I set my mind to.

8+/10 face detected

Bro, you be fucking some loose sloots.
Make those bitches do some kegels.

gr8 b8 m8 8/8

>her father and uncle blowend up indrong of her
>blowend up indrong of her
>blowend up indrong

what the fuck are you saying, user?

Chad pls

Lol'd

>her father and uncle blowend up indrong

Fucking hate when people blowend up indrong.

>I don't even work out much and eat lots of junk food like pizza
>PIZZA
well meme'd

>everyone told me people regret losing their virginity too early
>I lost it at 13 and it was the best possible thing to happen

Never had to worry about sex since I entered puberty.