Mom Science Thread

>eat celery if you want to lose weight user!
>my magazines say it uses more calories to digest than it gives you!

>You're so handsome user

Can you explain more? Genuinely interested if you've discovered that it is when just about every study says it's fine

you are a dumb person

Are you me?

it might as well be true. if all you ate is celery all day you'd probably be dead.

Lol this guy

>Just be yourself user and girls will naturally fall for you
>You're such a handsome young man, user

Who else fell for this bullshit when you were young?

That's why he eats at least 2 ya dingus
also contributing
>You can't count calories
>had to explain to her how it works

>complains she's too fat and wants to lose weight
>see her eating crisps 10 minutes later

>You're such a handsome boy, why don't you have a girlfriend?
hearing this from girls hits way harder ... but I still get the feels when my mom brings it up

>YOU ARE FUCKİNG HANDSOME WHY DON'T YOU FUCKİNG BELİEVE ME YOU'RE SO RETARDED YOU ARE GENUİNELY HANDSOME AS FUCK

>tfw 7.5 at ABSOLUTE most
just stop mum

>if you want to avoid getting cancer go out in the sun a lot. The vitamin D is good for you!
>I'm allergic to sugar, so I only eat raw honey as a sweetener

She believes in meme magic, metaphysics BS.

>Don't go to the gym honey, thats not who you are!
>You'll find a girl that plays your little games to make very happy some day!

Neither walking nor lifting burns much in the way of calories.
And lifting weights is far inferior to full body HIIT and Tabata and Swimming when it comes to burning fat and dropping the pounds.

>are you really going to eat all these eggs with the yolk? (4 eggs, 2x week)

>you don't need to get any bigger

>you are too skinny (?!?;?)

>you're handsome, smart, funny and buff
>you could have any girl if you wanted to
Y-you too

Cardio does burn fat better than lifting weights
Lifting weights trains your muscle groups but cardio doesn't do anything

>if you want to avoid getting cancer go out in the sun a lot. The vitamin D is good for you!

This, lmao. But also

>Don't go out in the sun for TOO LONG, user! You'll get cancer!

Obviously not, dumbass.

cholesterole. literally every study that says it's fine is funded by an egg company.

>You're very handsome, user. All the girls are gonna be all over you!

T W I N K
W
I
N
K

My mom insists massaging my scalp with coconut oil once a week will keep my hair healthy forever. Dunno if it's true but damn does it feel good. She moves her fingers on my scalp so fast it feels amazing

I-is your mom hot?

So have you found a study that says it's not fine that's not funded by an egg company?

>Anno Domini MMXVI
>Being this fucking stupid

>"You don't want to get too big"

Shut up mum. Literally all the advice you give me has taught me to never trust what women say they "Want"

Yeah, dangerously in the nogainz zone

kekkers

...

>"You're getting too skinny, user. I'm worried that you might be anorexic"
>tfw 17% bf
She really doesn't want to seem fat in comparison.

>"I'm toning my abs, I'm gonna be able to see 'em in no time!"
>She's over 20% bodyfat

>7.5
>considers himself only 2.5 points below the most attractive men on earth
>BAWWW MOM DON'T CALL ME HANDSOME

Why do your capital I's have dots?

That's not a lot for women

Everyone knows the scale is logarithmic

This. 7/10 and above is damn good considering 5/10 is the average.

Shes fukin right though

>don't get that protein powder user didn't they teach you about the harmful affect of steroids at school

Nearly died laughing at that one

To be fair you can safely take 2 points off anyone's rating of themself on Veeky Forums. No one ever calls themseves below a 2, so the 2s are actually as ugly as possible, and no one above an 8 would ever need to use Veeky Forums so 10s are always 8s at the most.

>lift 3 times a week, about 45 mins each time
>eat about 2600 kcal and 160 grams of protein every day
>"why are you doing this user?"
I'm 5'10" and 145 pounds, I'm really not in any danger of accidentally becoming too big

>If you want abs you need to do some crunches

She wants you to get big

Stop projecting your newfound acceptance of being uglier than you thought on everyone else my man

>you're still too skinny for me to show you off to my friends
That's what she really means.

Turkroach, we have both İ and I, different sounds

>just about every study says it's fine

What studies?

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18195171

İ have only good jaw, cheekbones, eyes, eyebrows, ears etc but my nose and lips suck, and those are the epitome of my face, they are really what determines your attractive face level

also people irl say İ'm easily 8/10 but obviously nobody is going to tell you you're ugly are they?

but with realistic self evaluation İ would not consider myself to be in category anything between 1-7, so İ fit myself into 7.5 but İ still don't believe İ'm handsome cause of nose and lips

>Sugar/insulin causes diabetes (this is a big one)
>Make sure to avoid blood sugar spikes or you'll quickly be hungry again!
>Eat fat with carbs to slow the absorption!
>Fat doesn't make you fat, it's all the carbs that Americans are eating, they explained the science in Cosmopolitan
>Fructose is super dangerous, I saw it on a YouTube video
>No, butter isn't unhealthy, didn't you see the Time issue that proved saturated fat is good for us?
>No, dietary cholesterol has no effect on blood cholesterol, even the Daily Mail had a story on it

I don't understand science, but a hazard ratio of 1.25 - 1.65 doesn't sound like a lot to me

and this is just one study

I mean, eating any kind of meat will increase your chance of cancer apparently

If you go through every piece of food you eat finding the one or two studies that say you have an "increased chance of heart failure" then you'll end up not eating much of anything

If you're healthy and workout, 2-4 eggs a day aren't going to kill you

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10217054?dopt=Citation
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16340654?dopt=Citation

>You're such a handsome boy, why don't you have a girlfriend?

Post face imo

At a level of 1 or 2 eggs a day, especially when they excluded people who had hypercholesterolemia, a 25-65% increase in heart failure risk is pretty bad.

>ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10217054?dopt=Citation

How do you pull "2-4 eggs a day is fine" out of "the impact of 1 egg per day wasn't significant in this population, except for in diabetics who doubled their risk of dying"?

>ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16340654?dopt=Citation

The author (Maria Luz-Fernandez) works for the egg industry and in this paper she just repeats the debunked scientific claims that egg promoters push, like the idea that large LDL particles are benign, which is a statistical trick people like her use for marketing purposes.

athero.org/commentaries/comm564.pdf

Excess sugar and fructose are horrible for you.

Here's a meta-meta-analysis of some of the evidence, a couple years out of date though.

nel.gov/evidence.cfm?evidence_summary_id=250206

The US government and most other expert bodies around the world still recommend limiting dietary cholesterol because most of the highest quality evidence indicates that excess dietary cholesterol is harmful.

The USDA dietary guidelines were also changed from "limit to 300 mg/day" to "consume as little cholesterol as possible while getting all micronutrients you need".

Eggs are not a particularly good source of anything you might have trouble getting from plants, so there is really no good reason to consume them. They are only high in choline, but your choline intake is likely sufficient if you consume animal products and/or legumes daily. By contrast, fish is a good source of B12, iodine and omega-3s while beef is an excellent source of iron and zinc, for example.

Can confirm as a Type 1 Diabetic that fat does something to the absorption of carbohydrates and delays the spike in blood sugar. High blood sugar doesn't make you hungry at all, a low blood sugar does though.

the feels.

First one is kinda true, high sugar diet causes a desensitisation to insulin which then can cause diabetes.

man both of us are trying to find links that prove our point but neither of us are going to actually change our view I think

If it really is true that eating 3 eggs a day increases my risk of heart failure by 65% (which I don't think is true for someone who stays active 6 days a week, I would imagine), then that's a pretty small affect. Smoking increases that risk by magnitudes more

>mfw I weigh less than my mom who's like 5'4 and I'm 6'3

>user I don't think you should lose any more weight you're good now @15% according to scales and calipers

>man both of us are trying to find links that prove our point but neither of us are going to actually change our view I think

The reason I'm arguing this is because it's something I've studied already, which is why I'm here telling you that dietary cholesterol and eating eggs aren't harmless. I've had my views changed by the data so I don't know why you're saying you won't change your views in light of evidence.

>Mom, Dad's meal is over 3000 calories and he's already eaten 2 other meals and a few snacks, aren't you worried about that?
>No, he's a big man and needs all that energy for all the walking we did today.

He's got a slightly larger than normal frame and is massively obese. Never exercises and claims that it's impossible to lose weight. Also can't fathom why his weight "can vary by 15 lbs from day to day"

What the hell is in his 3000 calorie meal?

>>if you want to avoid getting cancer go out in the sun a lot. The vitamin D is good for you!

This is actually true. The body goes through many changes when exposed to sunlight. The problem? If you wear sunscreen you block the beneficial changes that have cancer preventing benefits. Also if you never see the sun, then sit in it all day without slowly building up exposure then the bad drastically exceeds the good.

If I wasn't her son I'd say so

At least she's not saying that at 20%.. imo 15 is a good place to hover around if you never plan to bulk as it's forgiving for losing and gaining minor amounts of fat. Eat under tdee at 10-12% for too long and things could get really unhealthy

>handsome former wrestler dad and pretty swimmer mom
>my face looks like you took parts of theirs and mashed them together until you get a cross between steve buscemi and the vulture from looney toons
>tfw your mom has never said you look good or will find a girl
at least she noticed my leg gains once
thanks rippletits

You sound autistic as fuck because you treat that 1-10 scale like its something objective and tested
>but but I'm 7.523154 because my ears aren't aligned perfectly

There is no evidence of this anywhere though. We only have some suggestive evidence indicating that high lifetime insulin output can maybe cause pancreatic disease and pancreatic cancer but that has nothing to do with type 2 diabetes which is a disease that takes place outside the pancreas.

You do not get "desensitized" to insulin by being exposed to it, that's not how hormones work and it would be pretty silly if they did. Most hormones exist and evolved to be equally effective throughout your entire life regardless of how much you're exposed to them. They're not like heroin just because they're chemicals.

I forget the exact meal, but it was a family combo from El Pollo Loco including a shit ton of chicken, multiple sides, two deserts and the largest sugar filled drink they had. All the calories were listed on the menu so it was easy to add up.

Jokes on you mom, I'm already in line to getting that later thanks to your defective ass genes

[spoiler] still love ya tho, sorry for sounding mean ;_; [spoiler]

>
You are all retarded, eating a single egg all day is fucking dangerous, you will most definitely die of starvation in a month

This v
>
>Yeah, dangerously in the nogainz zone

>grow up a skellington who only does cardio sports like track and soccer in high school
>also very socially awkward, didn't lose virginity until I left for college, never had a gf in high school, just stayed indoors and played vidya
>live on west coast now, visiting family in the Midwest for first time in a year and a half
>started lifting about a year ago
>meet mom at train station
>low key feels me up as we hug, I lift her off the ground
>user! You're so strong!
>wow user, your forearms are so meaty!
>I forgot how tall you are!
>you're such a handsome boy! I hope you keep working out, all the girls in [West Coast City redacted] are going to fall in love with you
>here, I made eight pounds of barbecue just for you!
>have some buttered bread and vegetables from my garden to go with it!
>wow, you finished that quick! Have some more!

my stay was two straight weeks of free dirty bulking food, encouragement to keep working out, and her attempting to set me up with hometown girls who were way out of my league in High School, then laughing when I declined and saying I'm probably out of their league now anyway

my mom wants me to make it brehs

>I've heard from a friend that her doctor told her, if she wants big breasts, she needs to eat chicken breasts.
>You can't eat meals without bread user, its not healthy.
>Milk is bad for your bones.

It's like they don't even try to listen when I show them facts. It's so funny when they spin around saying the same bullshit because that's what they "heard".

Egg council detected

This, when I have a kid I'll call him a shitbag and a nogainz ugly fuck, maybe he'll understand that mom is most likely biased and lift/groom himself and make it beyond what his father ever made it to

this kek

>socially awkward
>lost virginity
Kys you mother-loving incestuous faggot

>Any family member ever
"so... Where's the girlfriend? When are you going to present her to us"
It's too much to bare brahs

>inb4 body dysmorphia but i'm 84 kg at 6'3 and i can still grab gut and tit fat amply

Dietry cholesterol =/= bad cholesterol user.
It's the building block to making testosterone. Avoiding cholesterol is for old people with heart conditions who never exercised while they were younger and fucked themselves over. The other problem with older people is their arteries get stiffer from age, not because of meme food nasties. They produce less nitric oxide and it gets reabsorbed too fast, fucks up proper vascular reactivity (changes in blood pressure).

They're different things but one affects the other.

>3000 cal
>one meal
What.

>It's the building block to making testosterone

and estrogen and cortisol

>implying

my mother is not at all attractive. She's overweight and in her 60s. I'm not emotionally stunted or crazy, so to me, her being nice and encouraging me is just her being nice and encouraging me.

Sorry your mom doesn't love you though user.

nice b8 m8

How do you maximize test production over the bad stuff ?

That was well written

Lifting, sufficient vitamin D, zinc, and magnesium.

Not by eating cholesterol or having higher levels of cholesterol in your blood since that doesn't make your body produce more hormones.

This plus having sex with a real person

>having sex with a real person