Leg press is out of order

>gym is out of standard issue cardio bunnies
>have to settle for gym twink

>There's a barbell on the floor with 10pl8 on it
>can't move it or get pl8s removed

>bodybuilder nipple milk price has increased %200
im not gonna make it bros

>other guy wears the same "get fit or die tryin'" shirt
>have to go home change

>the bull is busy tonight at another couple's house

>new barbells from IKEA
>Have to spend a fucking hour assembling it.

> everything at the gym is working just fine
> It's my resting day so I'm at home working on my model trains

>all the small squat plugs are taken

>locker room helper
fuck lads, how do you all come up with this shit

>hydraulic bench press is having a massive oil leak

>mum didn't sign this weeks gym permission slip so I couldn't go

>receptionist lost the key to the weight locks

>resting day

>plate butler is having a personal day

>squat racks are taken

>I forgot the password to get in

>last set 4pl8 dl
>"CMON CMON TURN THE RADIO ON ITS FRIDAY NIGHT AND IT WONT BE LONG"

>Vape pen runs out of e-juice between sets
>E-juice machine out of stock of my flavour
>don't set new PR because dumb vapeman doesn't do his job.

>the rowing machine didn't get refilled

>the bowflex is out of arrows

> gym clown didn't show up

>no balloon animals in between sets

me af, the pic

>Last user set the treadmill to miles
>can't practice my 5k run

>the Indian guy shits every time he does a squat
>doesn't even go on the designated Treadmill

Wtf I made this last night no one replied

>squat shaman cursed me for forgetting to sacrifice my gains for the glory of LORD ZY'YAHOO
>Bound to do curls until my penance is paid
>not enough gym tokens or premium protons® to purchase an potion of mana to free me from a gains ghost currently in my system

>my plate caddy cucked me

>cleaner mopped the floor so I can't use the rowing machine

> manlet escaped the manlet pit again

I loled out loud in class to this thread fuck you guys kek

hearty chuckle

>lost all my gains in gym casino

Dead

>it's a manlet pit day
>get thrown in
>giant manlet (he's almost 6 feet) wrecking havoc
>in the end it's me vs him 1 on 1
>david vs david
>I pick an unconscious micromanlet and throw at him
>he just shrugs it off
>approaches me
>grabs me and removes my squat plug
>I empty myself right then and there
>get banned for life

What am I supposed to do now

Hate when that happens.

wew

>Smith machine ash trays haven't been emptied
>Have to empty them myself
>Now have to squat with ash all over my gloves

Oh kek

>plates ran out of mass

> forgot to pay barbell subscription
> mass is removed from barbell as a result meaning you can no longer count the barbell weight

wew lad this is too much.

>forgot to adjust the barbells to daylight savings time

>power rack speakers are broken again
>have to listen to gym music
>they only play metal

> go to the anvil room to forge a new barbell
> furnace is out of order because some manlet fell in

FOR FUCK'S SAKE

>have to be at least 6 inches to use the jelqing machine

FUCKSAKES

Sorry user

>all the squat plugs below jumbo size taken
>finally understand leg day memes

Here's a (you).

>gym is trying to reduce the energy bill
>couldn't do full rom on my squats
>say I didn't fill my kinetic energy quotas
>only allowed cold water in my shower

>Gym gremlin stole my water bottle while I was dead lifting
>Forgot to tip the barbell boy, ended up getting suspended for 6 months

Fuck this shit

>Gym janitor found the cum bicycle

>Gym raised the price of calf raises

>accidentally gain 0.2kgs more
>Gains accountant forgets to tally for it
>Get ass busted by internal gains service
>"Cummon guys that extra gain was fat anyway"
>"Tough luck faggit, should've declared it anyway"
>All gains taken away, routine and diet collapses, have to file for gainsuptcy

I accidentally brought the shit bucket with me instead of my water bottle.

>communal squat plugs aren't big enough any more

>be me
>doing cardio after selecting a few songs on our treadmill/jukebox because rest day
>gym closes
>still had 4 songs left

I'll never get those quarters back bros

>gym is out of vibrating squat plugs
>have to use a regular one
>cant hit PR without sufficient prostate stim
>just.jpg

Your gym helper doesn't do this for you?
what 3rd world shit hole do you lift in?

>gym has "no towels from home" policy
>instead they have one(1) communal towel
>Someone wiped his ass again with the communal towel
>didnt notice it until i was done showering

...

>bizarro gym threads and dystopian cinema threads on /tv/ make me happy. they are the only reason i still come to this place

>gym is enforcing a no singles policy

End it all

I saw that and I laughed yesterday, don't feel 2 bad

>the red balls in the ball pit are being drycleaned

That's not the worst, my gym's enforcing the policy on every piece of equipment. Normally my gymbro and I will go in, divide and conquer, now even though we're doing different routines, we're paired up with someone to use equipment.

The gym has actually hired extra staff to make sure that nothing they provide is being used by a single person each time.

>tfw it takes your enforced partner 3 times your planned rest time to do a single set
>tfw threaten you with the lunk alarm and a strike on your record if you don't do alternate sets with your equipment partner

>tfw no singles or straight couples unless they're interracial policy

this entire thread

>gym trap is already in use
>have to use gym twink

>not having a qt femboy twink gymbuddy

No homo breh

>my plate daddy fucked me

boi you best fix that machine

>janitor forgot to refill the lat pulldown machine with more rep fluid

>forgot to say "no homo" after after-work prostata examination
>am not allowed to use squat plugs anymore
>fail my PR's

>all the heavy dumbbell are now electric
>The VW clean-fuel™ dumbbells only go to 30lbs, usually have to be used when roiders drained the batteries
>Cardiobunnies don't produce enough energy during peak hours

>the treadmill has reached the top amount of tokens for the day

>there's only left handed barbells at your new gym

>Barbell stuck at 6pl8
>Gym blacksmith won't be in for at least an hour

>cheap gym owner didn't service one of the power cages
>due 2000 reps ago
>breaks down mid squat
>have to waddle into the smith machine (across the fucking room for some reason) with the barbell to stand up again

>gym internet disconnects mid deadlift

>you didn't download it so you could stream it offline

that's just poor planning on your part.

>forgot to clap for sjw who finished her half mile run in only 20 mins
>banned from gym
fuck

This actually happened to me with 4pl8 when I started

>have no cash on me
>can't tip my local gym crew today
>get banned for a week
I keep forgetting

>gym casino

Fucking hate Canada

mate we can't all afford the newest iBell
I don't even have enough storage to download two sets of OHP

>plate dispenser out of full size plates
>Have to use 180 1lb plates

>david vs david
I felt you deserved some recognition for that

Try push press, takes much less work

except he was talking about downloading deadlift, not any sort of press
>reading comprehension

>no space for ohp
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