THE 5 YEAR OLD GAME

I have not seen one of these in years on Veeky Forums

Alright Veeky Forums how many 5 year olds could you take in mortal combat before you are overcome either by force or exhaustion. Describe in detail your style of fighting and tricks you would use

The setting:
locked Gymnasium

the rules:

Kids spawn in waves in your chosen amount

Kids have zombie level self preservation, will not run away and zero fear and WILL attack no matter what with fists nails and teeth included and will attack in packs if allowed

No outside weapons

Bonus:
Describe your battle dressing


For me I choose naked with only a jock strap to protect hanging bits.

/reddit/

No fighting style

If kids came at me by waves of 4 l could take them on easily for a good hour, then l would be too exhausted to fight and die

>One five year old in each hand
>Maul the other five year olds with five year olds
>Repeat until you die of exhaustion because you took too much clen and ended up in a sauna

/newfaggot/

lol

The maces become bloody stumps

>wants to fight a group of children naked

You are on the wrong board cunt.

Yeah right, retard. 5 year olds weigh 40 pounds. You could grab one of them, the other three go for your legs and drag you down. That's 160 pounds of active resistance on your body. How long will it take you to chuck 40 pounds clinging on to you 4 times? If you don't do cardio don't even think about lasting more than two rounds in your scenario

I want to do all combat with a little cloths as possible and only enough to protect my genitals

this is a exhaustion trial m8

I would just play with the kids. Jumprope and monkey bars are excellent. Those vibrating platform thingies are also great fun. I'll treat them to vanilla flavoured whey shakes. Then when we're all tired we form a big cuddle pile on the yoga mats and nap.

Hey man, you never said they'd actually attack me. They're only kids, it's not really in them.

THIS

remember the kids will crawl at you if need be with zombie like determination

>will not run away and zero fear and WILL attack

will you practice reading with them too?

I have cousins who love fighting and will literally punch me in the face and bite my ribs for "fun"

Op said that they acted like zombies, as in runs at you and attacks, do you know how easy it is to fuck up someone who just runs at you without trying to defend themselves ?
I'm a 6'1 200lbs guy who lift 4 times a week and rund for the 3 others, please tell me more about your knowledge, as far as l know l could punch those kids to death and if they grab my legs l could still walk since theyre only around 80 pounds. Also you gotta be real fucking retarded to let them grip your legs in the first place

>"im a retarded look at me xD NO ONE CAN BEAT KIDS THEYR IMMORTAL

>>>/reddit/

Sorry, I didn't really read past "waves of 5 year olds." Why are they attacking me anyway?

Because hypothetical situations hurt your brain and make you reek a smell that 5 year olds develop blood lust over.

>reek a smell that 5 year olds develop blood lust over
I thought that was my smegma

I would grab one by the legs and swing them in circular motions at the other until I got dizzy or tired in which case I could go for a 4-6 hours of full activity and sustain minor scratched and bites until I was so tired they overwhelmed me in a dog pile which I would go out choking them and biting them myself but all in all I feel I could kill at least 100-150 children in one go.

I am just going to wear pic related and rip and tear until I become tired. Then I go and rest for a while. My fearful manipulators will "manipulate" their arms right out of their sockets and show them what true grip strength is while I wobble around and occasionally tip over (on purpose) to crush a few more toddlers. Let them come at me, i'll have kevlar reinforced tubes providing oxygen and power while I mercilessly lay waste to them and sometimes stop for a casual snack or nap. Since it is in a gymnasium, I can also ocassionally use the lifting hook to hoist myself in the air to safety.

lol very good sir

I have become death destroyer of 5 year olds

Leather clothing.
I'd just stab their eyes out with my fingers because it's not as exhausting as flailing around.

Let them scream in pain and agony while tumbling around like the little uncoordinated idiots that they are.

I kind of want to fight 5 year olds now, wtf op

This. i don't even lift. But if I punched a 5yr old in the face I would collapse it. I could do that all fucking day if I had to.

i feel like it wouldn't be too bad if you could just throw haymakers and knock the fuckers out fast enough. throwing punches would be a lot less exhausting than trying to wrestle them off of you.

also, kicks. they're at a perfect height to just kick them in the neck hard as fuck.

I'm going to wear broken in leather pants, and a denim jacket. Hopefully my flexibility won't be compromised, and I'll be mostly immune from bites and scratches. I'd also like some steel toed shoes and gloves so my hands and feet don't burst open from cracking skulls.

The biggest wave I could probably handle at a time is 6 children. I have strong legs and play soccer, so my primary attack will be kicks to the head.

If they are zombie like, it will be hard to prevent them from jumping on me while I kick one. I imagine that each time I kick one, two will jump on me, and I'll have to shove their weak bodies off me. That get's tiresome. I estimate it will take me 3 minutes to demobilize 6 kids.

Assuming that as soon as I finish off one wave, another immediately starts, I could keep the pace up for about an hour. 20 waves of 6 kids each means I think I could handle 180 kids before I start to lose.

> I dont even lift
Leave Veeky Forums

Literally just punch them in the face and they will fold like a lawn chair. Battle dress would be full plate armour so I could take naps in between fights to keep my energy up.

You replied to the wrong guy, asshat.

Dubs.

Very realistic.

I think OP should of added apart of the game to suggest how many at one time one could handle like you did

Steel toe boots and coveralls. Basically just what I wear to work. I could probably kick 5 year old skulls in all day if I had to

Ive coached 5 years old kids.literally grabbing their wrists with 2 fingers unless they go oww

If I'm in a locked gym then I assume I've access to barbells, dumbbells, plates, medicine balls, machines etc

So many creative ways to wreck 5-year olds

while you nap they will eventually dog pile you to crush you when they gather enough of a group to jump on you at once.

i think people here are over estimating five year olds also the terrine is in your favor because if you need a break from the onslaught of five year olds you could climb up a basketball hoop and chill up there for a bit

i would wear full leather with a motorcycle helmet and steel toe boots

i could probably handle pyramid sets up kids ramping 4-7-10 for about a day

I think the funniest part if the biggest guy in the world will eventually tire out and be over run by 5 year olds.

OP said they come in waves and you can choose how big they are. So just like 2 kids per wave and while I nap 2 kids will be ripping their nails off and breaking their hands on my superior hardened steel layers.

You will eventually tire out with no food and your steel will become a coffin but all in all it would work for a while.

THIS

I would wear a suit of beef jerky infused with water and battle till I got tired.

Yeah but that'd be the fate of everyone in this thread unless you're and you will last slightly longer. No matter the situation eventually you'll die.

I would wear a suit of armor covered with poisons snakes and just lay there....

waves of 6 easy.

poisonous*

pick em up, snap their back start building a fortress out of dead kids. Once I have built my castle they will not be able to climb the walls.

>kids cant climb

Are you fucking stupid? How many 5 year olds do you know that can take a snapkick to the jaw from someone squatting over 100kg

OP must be a old faggot

Remember the bear game?

How many humans would it take to kill a bear with just fists.

I didnt say id build a fucking funpark you little prick.

what if they're lolis and they want to suck my dick?

can I change the hypothetical idea, right?

>Corpses of 5 year olds
>No food

I think I would be able to take on 30 5 year olds if the came at me in 10 waves of 3.

pretty standard fighting techniques, I was never trained to fight or anything so I guess consecutive regular punches to the face and kicks to the legs to knock them over.

I would beat them off relentlessly, wave after wave of kids being beaten off, until the floor is covered with so much semen that they can't even move.

I'd probably wear compression shorts and maybe a cup to protect the balls but no shirt or shoes.

scratch that, kids would try to stomp my toes. I'd probably wear sneakers or something relatively solid without being too heavy.

waves of 1
I could go until my body physically ran out of nutrients for energy. I'm guessing 48 hours max. Assuming 1 kid every minute thats roughly 69,000 kids. The rate might slow as exhaustion sets in so I'll say 40,000 kids to be conservative.

forgot fighting style. there really isnt any. I would go for the throat at all times. there's nothing they can do to me, so I would attack their throat immediately. I would crush the windpipe with my grip strength.

I'd wear only briefs and cover myself in oil. Send them in 1 at a time, pin them down and then crush their heads,I would able to take on hundreds as it isn't tiresome.
After you have killed 1 you can take a bone out of them and snap it giving you a sharp object you jam into their throats.

>pin them down
>pin down a 5 year old while you're covered in oil
>thinks he can do this hundreds of times

Id make them come in waves of 5, as I'm dressed in Kaneki's battle-suit.
I know Muay thai, so I'd be able to push them around quite easily.
If I got hungry I'd cannabalize some of the corpses, and I'd be able to go on for at least 12 waves

kek

>fighting 60 children while on keto

Apparel
>Basketball shorts, basketball shoes, and my lucky lifting cutoff that features naked Jim Morrison
>12 children spawn at a time
>I run around in a big circle around the gym a bit at an easy pace til the slowest fattest one lags behind
>Abruptly increase speed til I lap up and I'm behind him
>Heh nothing personal kid
> Pick him up firmly grasping his young lard
> Others realize what has happened and they reverse direction to mount a charge
>They're all bunched up in a hoard
> I wait til they're too close to react
> I throw fatty fatty bowling ball in a tremendous hurl.
>11 little kid pins go down
>SSSSTTTTEEEEEEERRRRRIIIIKE
>Fatty fatty bowling ball gets back up, they have so much reselience at 5 and 65 lbs for some reasons
>He's pissed, realizes the onslaught around him that he caused cuz he couldn't run
>Shakes himself off
>Face red, waddles hard at me meaty fists clenched tight as my anus during squats
>He's still slow though
>I wait
>Through the gym PA I hear a voice
>FINISH HIM
>Waddling intensifies
>He is near
> I unleash a mighty round house to his round, flushed red head
>It snaps down, his ear makes an audible slap against his fleshy shoulder
>Collapses twitching
>Time for another round
>I could do this all day

anyone that can't toss around at least 25 of these faggots should reevaluate their lives

I would wear a suit made of duct tape. The children come in waves of two. If we're playing CoD rules I would do my best to break their limbs but keep them alive, then duct tape them to my vulnerable areas as rudimentary armor, and do my best to remove their femurs, skulls, and jawbones to use as rudimentary weapons I could sharpen and hold using the aforementioned duct tape.
I think I could survive for a while.

Climb the ropes at the top of the gym, as they climb up the rope I would kick them in the face while they fall to their death. I would wear a barney outfit to taunt them into a rage of attacking me, increasing my kill count before I got bored then let go to fall on my neck insta killing myself and saving me the anguish of a slow starvation death.

Wtf, I want a daughter now

grab two and do a windmill, clearing the area of 5 year olds

Lol oil smothered pecs choking out 5 year olds

Hahaha my favorite

Extremely mobile, precision kickboxer. They're fucking 5 year olds. And in a big open gym (I assume you mean like with a basketball court)? Holy shit I could take dozens upon dozens.

All I need are sturdy runners and a pair of shorts.

I would dress as pic related, hope it takes the fight out of them.

Otherwise, I die an indignant death dressed as a yellow fucking stork.

Is this you?

probs like 40 just keep throwing them around and then curb stomp their soft mushy skulls

I would win easily, my court order means I can't be within 50 meters of children. So they we would have to stay on either side of the gum from each other by order of the judge.

>Not eating the 5 years old for food and drinking their blood as water

>>wants to be locked in a gymnasium with a bunch of five year olds whilst wearing a jock strap

You great big fucking nonce

>Your mum's and dad's back will break if you touch me
>Also, the floor is lava around me