>over 99.9% of alcohol, heroin, cocaine and meth addicts have tried coffee first
im dying
Drinking coffee
Adam Wright
Zachary Reed
Half the items are outlandishly dumb, outright false, or immaterial (not negatives).
OUTLANDISHLY DUMB/IMMATERIAL:
>Coffee is a drink . . . from the seeds of the coffee plant.
Yes, and? So what?
>Coffee is the most widely used drug in the world.
Coffee is not a drug. Caffeine is the drug. And, so what if it's the most widely used?
>Over 99.9% of alcohol, heroin, cocaine, and meth addicts have tried coffee first
And 99.9% have eaten bread, 100% have breathed air, 100% have slept longer than 8 hours at a time. So what? Correlation does not imply causation.
>The global coffee industry earns . . . $60 billion annually
So? The furniture industry earns 106.78 billion annually. What is the point?
OUTRIGHT FALSE:
>Coffee contains over 1,000 chemicals, with more than half of those tested being carcinogenic.
This is so far from the truth it looks like a joke.
wsj.com
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
>No causal relationship has been established between coffee intake and lower urinary tract cancer, pancreatic cancer, breast cancer or fibrocystic breast disease, ovarian cancer, or large bowel cancer.
>Many coffee users are unable to function without it
"Unable to function" is a very strong assertion. It means you're inert and useless. This is far from the truth. At most, coffee drinkers are mildly annoyed without coffee.
The "risks and effects" are so dumb I won't bother with most of them, but the inclusion of "death" and "lapse in judgement [sic]" are patently false. You have to drink well over 40 cups of coffee in order to die from it.
>Rhabdomyolysis
Sounds fancy and scientific, but "Rhabdomyolysis is a serious syndrome due to a direct or indirect muscle injury." Rhabdomyolysis is caused by serious trauma like car crashes and muscular dystrophy. To even suggest that coffee causes this is laughable.
Christian Wilson
kek, completely BTFO'd how will he ever recover?
Nicholas Reed
>Drinking coffee
NO
>Drinking SIPS
absolutely
Dylan Scott
It's such a great pick-me-up in the morning and appetite suppressant but sadly I really like my teeth.
Samuel Torres
baited for this EXACT response
Oliver Hernandez
>only pretending to be retarded
Juan Ramirez
This is a joke poster, just like you. We have one hanging in the graduate student lab.
Charles Price
>making it
>yes or no?
well... you tell me op, do you want to make it or not?