Mom says "you've gotten really buff. You should be going out and trying to meet girls

>I ask to see a menu
Jesus christ user, I hope this is b8.

>I explain that I don't have one because I never learned to drive.
Uh, you can get and ID without having to learn how to drive.

Thank for the tip. Do you think they would accept a passport?

This clearly isn't bait. Stop being a faggot and learn to sympathize with other people.

As a bartender I had people ask for menus all the time, it is sad how common it is. I guess some fancy places have menus, but my jankass bar sure as shit don't.

Absolutely. Passport trumps drivers license. So do military IDs.

I had no idea. Wow. Thanks a lot. Veeky Forums is a good place. I'll use my passport and try and learn more about the different drinks.

Probably, but that would be weird.
Depending on how I'm feeling I usually go with a "whiskey sour" or "wild turkey" on the rocks (on ice). Moscow mules are also good.

If you're in Los Angeles, I'll go to some bars with you. I can show you some good drinks and we can talk to a couple of qt's

obviously

A really good drink if your starting out drinking is 007. Orange vodka, orange juice and a splash of sprite. Then you can move up to the stronger tasting drinks.

murica pls
in glorius yurop we always have a shitton of beers, and more than one brand of each alcohol, and snacks
unless it is really some 40 square meter dive on the outskirts, it is normal to have a menu

Bar security here, don't feel bad about the guy stoneface throwing you out like you did something wrong (malicious), if the bartender indicates someone needs to go we toss them without hesitation, no hard feelings m8

Lots of bars have menus m8...

A lot of bars have kitchens you know

Most bars where I live have menus with the shots, the cocktails, the wines and the beers.
Not weird.

Let's see the progress then OP.

P.s don't worry about the hekkling sluts, they're probably drunk off their faces and will laugh at anything. Stupid sluts.

It's the same in the states and lots of places do have a menu but it's usually written on a board behind the bar or something. Most of the time printed menus are for places that serve primarily food and also serve alcohol, not places that primarily serve alcohol but also serve food.

How the fuck do you actually hit girls in clubs/bars
its fucking hardest shit ever you need to be a 10/10 to do that

>YO YO NIGGA LIKE GROW UP NIGGA
SQUARE UP NIGGA
WHY YOU AINT FUCKIN NO BITCHES NIGGA YOU GOTTA PUT YOUR SELF OUT THERE NIGGA THEN YOU GON GET THAT SWEET PUSSY YOU HEAR ME NIGGA
LIKE NIGGA REALLY NIGGA

not everyone can get laid by trading drugs for sex and raping women

Beer comes in pints
Now you know. Bring a form of ID next time (your mum's kinda thick since she would've known you didn't have ID)
But you took the first step, now take the second and go back

>clubs
Go over to a girl and start dancing near/with her. If she dances with you or at you (ie turns her body towards yours), put your hands on her waist. If it's still going well after like 20 seconds of this, go in to kiss her

>bars
Fuck if I know. Ask to buy her a drink maybe?

Honestly pal, its not weird that you have no clue what drink to ask for, I don't either and I consider myself a normie.
Next time you go, which you should even if its to get to know the clubbing scene, wear normal clothes. Just a regular T, some shirts or jeans depending on the weather and some shoes. Go to the bar, get yourself a beer and if the bartender asks which kind, ask what they serve and pick any, they barely differ in taste if youre new to them. Only other drink I can recommend is whisky if its your taste, rest is for posh pretentious faggots.
If you ever find yourself striking up conversation with a girl, ask her if she would like a drink and ask her what shes having. If she tells u to 'surprise her', tell the bartender to pour something girly or some fruity beer.
Just trying to think of some basics, Im no chad by any means but I will think of some more useful shit

>throw up in the bouncers face for maximum stun
>pee on the giggling girls
>ask the bartender "still think I'm underage?" with a wink

why would you even care about going to a bar alone.

Always use my passport as ID bruh, big city phaggot so never learnt to drive

Pls be real

I don't really believe that you've never seen a movie/TV show with a bar scene (or even in the 10 minutes you sat there) and never seen that beer is served in a glass/pint/bottle.

>buying girls drinks

Good bait, haha.

>asked for ID
>can't drive so doesn't have one
I think you are stupid.

>letting girls that you approach pay for their own drinks
Let me know how well that goes for you

Different bar next time. Now you know better.

I laff'd though.

What the fuck kind of mom do you have? Did she literally drive you to the bar for you to meet women? And didn't she know you didn't have an ID?

Sounds like bait but still pretty funny.

Just can't imagine a woman taking her 24yo big buffed kid and just dropping him in front of a bar.

chill yo wtf man like yo were all in the same boat man

Agreed. Mom shoulda been his wingman.

I'm in so much pain from reading this.

Actually know plenty of bars with menus

was hoping this would be a mom incest story i need to get off the internet

woaaah wtf
wooooooaaaah dude

obvious bait

They ALL have menus ... unless you're in a total trash dive hole but even then there's probably something.

>I say ok. I'll have a shot of the beer with the red lever.
>this guy is massive probably 2/3/4/5

this is gold

Include me when you post this on reddit desu

No they don't. If they use a scanner the passport won't work. Even my passport card won't work. Just use a drivers license

Y-you would do that for me???

Someone please what are simple drinks I can get at a bar where they're universally known? I always feel stupid trying to order a mixed drink but not sure how to order those

thanks for the laugh OP :)

Sympathize?
On Veeky Forums?

The fuck is wrong with you?

i respect you OP if you really went through that

Bars are pathetic places to be anyways. >24
>Still living with mommy
>mommy drives you
Forget the bar, go get a fucking life first. No girls going to find that manchild b.s. attractive

Double jd honey muh neger

007
Whiskey sour
Manhattan
Moscow mule
Jameson, drank neat
Wild turkey, on the rocks.
Mojito, or a dark and stormy, if you are feeling tropical.

Holy fuck. 1. Learn2drive. It's the most useful skill you can have. Buy a car. Be an adult. 2. Pick a drink. Get a common favorite from the internet. Whiskey makes you look like you don't know what alcohol is. You aren't an expert, you don't have to be. Beer comes in a glass typically. 3. Bring a license everywhere. You need it. You aren't 8 anymore

Realize that you don't have to care about what people think of you. Also, it's in the past. Die to the past every moment of the present and live there. Don't stray into the future either except for practical planning, your mind cannot cope with fictional future and past scenarios. Live in the now.

Screwdriver, rum n coke or gin n tonic are pretty good. Could just go with "1 beer please"

>>the bar tender says "we don't do shots of beer?"
In Britain and probs most of Europe they'd just assume you'd want a taster. Free shot of beer.

So basic it hurts.

>wholesome posts
>on Veeky Forums

is dis real

Not an entirely related question but why does alcohol taste so bad, i almost always just go for the ladies' drinks

fucking summerfags gtfo. You must think "gee, I'm on Veeky Forums, I'm so edgy and cool and hardcore". Fuck off. Every single time someone asks for help here they get it, but there's always a bunch of you faggots thinking this is some special place where everyone is a dick and everyone is trolling. No. Not everyone is trolling.
Bro chill out. Shit happens. It's bad that you're 24 and never had a beer, never been to a bar. Here's what you do:
1. Get an ID
2. Buy some fucking beer and drink it slowly, until you're drunk, like you should have done in middle school
3. Join a combat sports gym, you will meet people of different backgrounds, you will be asked to go out for a beer or if not you will bond while fighting anyway. Also a huge confidence booster.
4. Go to another bar if you're afraid, and ask for a beer, if you don't know shit tell the bartender "whatever you recommend man"
5. Talk to guys first before you talk to girls, because it's literally the same thing except you don't wanna fuck them (I assume), so there's less pressure. This will happen very naturally in a combat sports gym, but you can talk to people in a lifting scenario about spotting you, or what's their routine, or whatever.
6. Chill the fuck out. You'll make it if you want to. There is no secret to being Chad, it's just social experience which is very easily attainable, but you have to suffer through anxiety and shit in the beginning. Have a great day and remember that if you really, truly want it, you have a clear path of doing it, and it's only up to you to follow it.

Jameson with 2 ice cubes if you like whiskey, dark & stormy if you like rum (my favorite cocktail, dark rum, ginger ale and lime), long island iced tea if you are really not adventurous, mojito is always fine.

it's unironically an acquired taste. Beer fucking sucks until you've had a bunch of them, and then it's like heaven when you drink the first sip, especially in the summer. Try Jameson (irish whiskey) with 1-2 ice cubes (yes I'm this guy ).

Dark and stormies are sugar water for fat forty somethings.

>I say ok. I'll have a shot of the beer with the red lever.

///////thread

I guess beer can be good after a while but the stronger drinks just dont really taste good, i have no problems with getting drunk, if the drinks actually tasted great.

Even coke + vodka doesnt appeal to me as it should.

So is almost every cocktail. I rarely drink cocktails but I love dark and stormy, so whenever I do, it's that. And since I like it, I drink it.

>2/3/4/5
>Massive

I drink vodka from the bottle

This guy knows what's up

As you get older you will lose taste buds. Things that were too strong in flavor (coffee, alcohol) will become much more palatable. This is also why grandpa only drinks black coffee and eats disgusting ass food. He just wants to taste something again... So once you hit like 25+ it becomes pretyt easy to drink booze in almost any from straight without making faces at the end.

Assuming this isn't bait, you need to get some experience.
I don't know what the laws are where you are but buy a small bottle of whisky and a crate of average lager. Go get drunk in your room and actually realise what the drinks taste like and what being drunk feels like.
You do not want to order a whisky in a bar and hate it. You also don't want to order a few drinks because you actually like the taste and find our your wasted.

If you truly are fit you could get away with a vodka and soda water or a gin and tonic. If you really don't like beer or whisky (I dont) get a whisky and coke. You see all the memes about hennesy? Made it more acceptable.

Also remember you don't actually need to drink, just get a soda water and fresh lime or some shit like that.

I hope this is real, funniest thing I've read in a while

Whats with you americans and your fancy drinks? Everyone just gets a beer or vodka here. No hate, sincerely curious

Fucking gross

7&7

I don't know, bro. I've always loved whiskey, I say Jameson cause it's cheap and tasty but pretty much every one except johnnie walker red are GOAT to drink after a long day. Coke and vodka is not a good combination. If you like vodka try it with lemon soda. I don't like vodka and gin, and rum sucks on it's own. I only like whiskey with no additions.
This is inaccurate, but close. Your taste buds change every 7 years (gradually), which is why when you're a kid you have some foods and then later you find out you like them. Smell never changes so they might still smell gross.
Forgot to add, after you learn what being drunk is like, DO NOT immediately get drunk in public, first time you go to a bar just have 2-3 beers, no more. You still will have inadequate experience, but it will come and every time you can drink a little more until you fine tune how much relaxes you but doesn't make you into a retard.

I'm 29 and I love coffee but growing up in my late teens and early twenties i have never really had alcohol enough to say that I like it. Maybe thats the problem

>a shot of beer

god you are a retard

DELETE THISSSSSSSSSS

angery manlet r9k crossposter detected
your kind have a legit IQ of like 70
all you can do when confronted with the truth is to mock your """""opponent"""" because you never learned how to be an adult and think logically

>TFW YOU REALIZE WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT

One of the bars I go to has "tap takeovers" where they designate a row of taps to one brewery but I can tell the bartenders hate naming them off all night so I get a bells two hearted or a stella and drink that while I'm figuring out if there's something else I might want next
Also most places have specials

That's mostly for college girls that can't drink straight liquor so they add all kinds of flavors
95% of average looking people I see in US bars get a cheap beer and house whiskey

t. summer

fuck those r9k bullshit
BACK TO YOUR BOARD YOU FAGGOT

wtf 9/10 bars have a drinks menu.

>>I say ok. I'll have a shot of the beer with the red lever.
>>the qt next to me bursts out laughing.
>>the bar tender looks confused. "What?"
>>I repeat myself
>>the bar tender says "we don't do shots of beer?"
>>I say, make it a whiskey then.
>>the bar tender says can I see your ID?
>>I explain that I don't have one because I never learned to drive.
>>the qts are in stitches.
I would legit think you are just fooling around and would find you funny at this point. The tears part is sad.
Your mom is a woman, don't be mad at her but don't listen to her ever again unless she tells you to do cores, move out or get a job.
Pushing you into a situation like that is just wrong.
Watch some reality show to get a grip on how plebs act, take this with a grain of salt ofc, but you can see what's acceptable and what's not.
Getting helpful chad friends who bully you but won't abandon you or take advantage of you, no matter how pathetic you are helps a lot too (this is how I improved my social skills), but you gotta be lucky for this, very rare.
1st step is go to the grocery store and shop without spilling spaghetti. Do this for a few months.
Also start talking to gym goers, like ask for help with your compound reps, try to get friends.
This all takes patience and training like your muscles do. Patience is golden.
Never NEVER allow yourself to be overwhelmed with a situation. Go out of your comfort zone, but if you start to find yourself spaghetti-ing, don't try to pretend that you are some alpha chad, just shut up and if they keep pestering you, say that you are feeling uncomfortable with the topic at hand and if they are not assholes they'll leave you alone, if they are pushing you, tell them to fuck off.
Otherwise just man up, faggot.

whoa chill whooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa

>Not taking shots of beer

Have these GDIs never heard of a power hour?

My favorite is crown & coke, if I'm feeling saucy I'll get a screwdriver or a pina colada

>sperglord out to drink for the first time
>sit in a booth
>waitress asks me what I want
>"Wh-whats a s-simple drink -p-p-people get?"
>she looks at me confused
>"Rum and coke?"
>"I'll have that."
>would have ordered literally anything she suggested
>babysitting my rum and coke, looking at my phone pretending to be doing something
>Some drunk woman hobbles over, can barely stand
>"Hey you should buy me a drink"
>"NO!"
>I accidentally shouted it
>drunk woman kept giving me dirty looks all night

Thank the lord you're not a disgusting aspie like I am. What an embarrassing night.