Humour thread

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This is all I'm guilty of from that list.

I've been a shut-in NEET for 13+ years.

my girlfriend is unironically like this, minus the nerdy stuff

over 3.5 plates, not sure exactly how much though

If the colours are anything to go by, then the red ones are 25kg and the blue one is 20kg. That's 160kg +those other two which may be 10 and 2,5? That would put him at 185kg.

Same. And she's not down on herself

Kys

Hell yeah this is the Best

Same. Then she got used to me and "can we have sex again" disappeared too.
And then she put on weight, so "I'm ugly why would you want me" has almost stopped being a cutesy lie.