>Grandpa's funeral >time for us male children to carry the coffin >Oh great all the OHP I did can finally be useful >fast trod past my cousins and uncles >"It's okay I get it." >grabbed the edge of the coffin then press it up over my head >walked straight ahead maintaining the perfect form >kicked open the door of the church with one leg, then dump the coffin into the grave >the whole family looked at me mirin' >dad who never lifted was still crying like a little bitch
Top kek. >Be me, fat fit. >Friend who is fat not fit challenges people to physical challenges. >Only faces amerimutt retards and he is 6' and big. Has big ego. >Starting to train in mma and challenge him to a kick boxing match with our friends watching. >Fucking one hard punch to the stomach then straight in the face and he was down. >Says "he has to take a shit" while crying in the bathroom. Lol. >Ego smashed. >Mfw
>Be dad >Have retarded son >At my father's funeral >Reminds me how disappointed in my son I am >Son has been working out and uses any chance to show off >Lifts entire coffin himself >Barely able to keep it up and is struggling >Walks into church and almost drops it multiple times >Slams my dead father into grave and fucks up the expensive coffin >Begin to cry. I hate my son so much.
>be grandpa >die >looking down from heaven on my funeral >my handsome strong grandson picks up my coffin all by himself and carries me to my grave, showing his strength one last time for granpappy >look over to my son >he’s crying because he’s mad his son for scraping the stupid coffin a little >feel disappointment for him and how shitty of a father he is >feel a little bit better knowing he’s going to get prostate cancer in a year
>be mom >father in law passed away >husband crying like a bitch >son is a palm bearer >allmywut.pn4 >son approaches coffin by himself >lifts it over his head by himself >get moist >look at those muscles > arrives father in law by himself to grave where he places him >have fantasy about cheating on husband with son >Oedipus.mp4 >back at house after wake >let son take me >get pregnant with his half son brother
>Be coffin >Someone puts a human corpse in me >Whatever, I'm a coffin >Start getting lifted into air >This is amazing. I've never been this high up >Maybe I'm ascending to the heavens >Vertical motion ceases. Being carried somewhere >Get thrown in a hole
Why wozld you do that to somebody you consider a friend?
how does grandpa know that
>doesn't deadlift coffin first 2/10, apply yourself son
>Be grave >gravin >suddenly big strong dude throws a wood box with a dead body in me >mmmmmm yea fill me up >hell ye boi this tight af >get filled with dirt and people throw flowers on me >everyone crying >i dont care
he’s in heaven with god, dumbass
>Deh deh >Deh, deh deh deh >Deh deh...deh deh >Deh >Deh deh deh, deh deh; deh >Deh
>be priest >old fart died and his grandson is the bearer >see a the manlet carrying the coffin singehandedly >feel my loins stir while looking at the child sized specimen >he throws coffin into grave to avoid falling 6 ft to his death >go fondle kids while thinking of him
DUDE FUCK CHRISTIANS LMAO
>grandpas funeral >picked as a pall bearer > my retard brother doesn't understand the concept of funerals and gets jealous he didn't get picked as a pall bearer because ... Well ... Hes a retard. > stands up so fast i thought he was catching a spirit. > starts pounding his chest making tard screeches and runs up to the coffing > oh no please god dont let him ruin this > nobody hasnt the slightest idea whats going through his mongoloid head but i think i do > earlier this week hes been in his room watching fitness routines on tv and going along with it as the show plays > motherfucker has a sweatband and blue spandex on > he looks like eugene that retard wrestler from wwe > close door and disregard cuz ... Well... Hes a retard > fast foward to funeral > he gets to the coffin breathing heavy with his arms flaring out both sides like a mongoloid hulk > uncles and cousins circle him like a bull riding competition gone bad > wraps his arms around the coffin and say "duuuhhhh ill help you granpa" > dad is face palming > mom is fantasizing getting moist about my brothers funeral and all the insurance money that will come in after > motherfucker stands the coffin and barehugs it from the funeral home to the cemetery. HOW THE FUCK >everyone follows in a single line formation and the organ starts playing and shit > everyone gets there and retard brother approaches the grave and says "duhhhh bye bye grandpa" > coffin falls in all discombobulated and shit > everyone looks confused and shugs and start throwing handfuls of dirt on top of the coffin > dad is crying like a pussy > retard brother shits in his hand and throws that on top of the coffin instead.
He is fine for the most part but it gets on my nerves when he is boasting about being stronger and better then everyone else when he doesn't workout at all. I decided to show him he wasn't shit, doesn't mean he isn't a cool guy in other regards tho and he doesn't boast anymore. I actually think he joined a gym.
You used your grandpa's funeral to boost your own ego?
Lol op being but hurt. Dude, a funeral isn't the time to show off how much you can lift retard.
>be me >clean coffin, itsworking.jpeg >time for jerk (power cause I'm no fag) >arm lockout, in the hole >unwieldy coffin tips be backwards, stupid things dont have rotating cuffs to prevent this sort of thing from happening >spill corpse everywhere, triple red light
i can't fucjing stop laughing
lol,way to rebel against grandma,pussy.
>posts a retarded story and proceeds to fuck up more by posting worst Emma
>be me >waiting in a line at the deli >milf is there with her son, he's probably around 5 >milf asks her son what he wants to eat, so he can be "big and strong like him", while she is gesturing towards me >feels like all the attention of everyone in the line is on me >go full autismo >instead of looking at her and smiling I turn red like a tomato, look straight ahead and don't acknowledge her. >awkward silence ensues >get food, leave.