ITT: mirin' stories

>Grandpa's funeral
>time for us male children to carry the coffin
>Oh great all the OHP I did can finally be useful
>fast trod past my cousins and uncles
>"It's okay I get it."
>grabbed the edge of the coffin then press it up over my head
>walked straight ahead maintaining the perfect form
>kicked open the door of the church with one leg, then dump the coffin into the grave
>the whole family looked at me mirin'
>dad who never lifted was still crying like a little bitch

Feels good man

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Top kek.
>Be me, fat fit.
>Friend who is fat not fit challenges people to physical challenges.
>Only faces amerimutt retards and he is 6' and big. Has big ego.
>Starting to train in mma and challenge him to a kick boxing match with our friends watching.
>Fucking one hard punch to the stomach then straight in the face and he was down.
>Says "he has to take a shit" while crying in the bathroom. Lol.
>Ego smashed.

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>Be dad
>Have retarded son
>At my father's funeral
>Reminds me how disappointed in my son I am
>Son has been working out and uses any chance to show off
>Lifts entire coffin himself
>Barely able to keep it up and is struggling
>Walks into church and almost drops it multiple times
>Slams my dead father into grave and fucks up the expensive coffin
>Begin to cry. I hate my son so much.


>be grandpa
>looking down from heaven on my funeral
>my handsome strong grandson picks up my coffin all by himself and carries me to my grave, showing his strength one last time for granpappy
>look over to my son
>he’s crying because he’s mad his son for scraping the stupid coffin a little
>feel disappointment for him and how shitty of a father he is
>feel a little bit better knowing he’s going to get prostate cancer in a year

>be mom
>father in law passed away
>husband crying like a bitch
>son is a palm bearer
>son approaches coffin by himself
>lifts it over his head by himself
>get moist
>look at those muscles
> arrives father in law by himself to grave where he places him
>have fantasy about cheating on husband with son
>back at house after wake
>let son take me
>get pregnant with his half son brother

>Be coffin
>Someone puts a human corpse in me
>Whatever, I'm a coffin
>Start getting lifted into air
>This is amazing. I've never been this high up
>Maybe I'm ascending to the heavens
>Vertical motion ceases. Being carried somewhere
>Get thrown in a hole

literally deadlifting
beautiful user

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Why wozld you do that to somebody you consider a friend?

how does grandpa know that

>doesn't deadlift coffin first
2/10, apply yourself son

>Be grave
>suddenly big strong dude throws a wood box with a dead body in me
>mmmmmm yea fill me up
>hell ye boi this tight af
>get filled with dirt and people throw flowers on me
>everyone crying
>i dont care


he’s in heaven with god, dumbass

>Deh deh
>Deh, deh deh deh
>Deh deh...deh deh
>Deh deh deh, deh deh; deh

no such thing, moron

Prove it

>he’s in heaven with god

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>he's in heaven with god

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>be priest
>old fart died and his grandson is the bearer
>see a the manlet carrying the coffin singehandedly
>feel my loins stir while looking at the child sized specimen
>he throws coffin into grave to avoid falling 6 ft to his death
>go fondle kids while thinking of him


>grandpas funeral
>picked as a pall bearer
> my retard brother doesn't understand the concept of funerals and gets jealous he didn't get picked as a pall bearer because ... Well ... Hes a retard.
> stands up so fast i thought he was catching a spirit.
> starts pounding his chest making tard screeches and runs up to the coffing
> oh no please god dont let him ruin this
> nobody hasnt the slightest idea whats going through his mongoloid head but i think i do
> earlier this week hes been in his room watching fitness routines on tv and going along with it as the show plays
> motherfucker has a sweatband and blue spandex on
> he looks like eugene that retard wrestler from wwe
> close door and disregard cuz ... Well... Hes a retard
> fast foward to funeral
> he gets to the coffin breathing heavy with his arms flaring out both sides like a mongoloid hulk
> uncles and cousins circle him like a bull riding competition gone bad
> wraps his arms around the coffin and say "duuuhhhh ill help you granpa"
> dad is face palming
> mom is fantasizing getting moist about my brothers funeral and all the insurance money that will come in after
> motherfucker stands the coffin and barehugs it from the funeral home to the cemetery. HOW THE FUCK
>everyone follows in a single line formation and the organ starts playing and shit
> everyone gets there and retard brother approaches the grave and says "duhhhh bye bye grandpa"
> coffin falls in all discombobulated and shit
> everyone looks confused and shugs and start throwing handfuls of dirt on top of the coffin
> dad is crying like a pussy
> retard brother shits in his hand and throws that on top of the coffin instead.


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He is fine for the most part but it gets on my nerves when he is boasting about being stronger and better then everyone else when he doesn't workout at all. I decided to show him he wasn't shit, doesn't mean he isn't a cool guy in other regards tho and he doesn't boast anymore. I actually think he joined a gym.

You used your grandpa's funeral to boost your own ego?

Lol op being but hurt.
Dude, a funeral isn't the time to show off how much you can lift retard.



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So you think OP actually OHP'd a 200lb casket with a 200lb man inside? Even to clean that weight, you'd still need something to give you good leverage like a bar.

best thread on fit in a while


Retard strength.

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i get mired often

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>corpse of a old man
>200 lbs

i'd be surprised if the coffin was only 200lbs as well, unless it's a shitty cheap one

new Veeky Forums approved exercise.

The average adult male should weight at least 200kg so the coffin was way heavier than that

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That was the joke you idiot

>be me
>clean coffin, itsworking.jpeg
>time for jerk (power cause I'm no fag)
>arm lockout, in the hole
>unwieldy coffin tips be backwards, stupid things dont have rotating cuffs to prevent this sort of thing from happening
>spill corpse everywhere, triple red light

i can't fucjing stop laughing

lol,way to rebel against grandma,pussy.

>posts a retarded story and proceeds to fuck up more by posting worst Emma

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the fuck is this trip fag

>be me
>waiting in a line at the deli
>milf is there with her son, he's probably around 5
>milf asks her son what he wants to eat, so he can be "big and strong like him", while she is gesturing towards me
>feels like all the attention of everyone in the line is on me
>go full autismo
>instead of looking at her and smiling I turn red like a tomato, look straight ahead and don't acknowledge her.
>awkward silence ensues
>get food, leave.

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Would've done the same thing m8. Autism is a curse.

best one