Asshole GMs

>It's raining

>RAINING BLOOD

That's hilarious.

Now you have to get back at them by gathering a bunch of rats and letting them loose in the basement.

It's a dick move, but it checks out mechanically.

>MFW no basement

Just one little problem with your plan user

But seriously, there's no way that inn didn't have any rats.

He just has to secretly build a basement.

>Oh, man, since when did we have a basement?
>OH GOD'S, SO MANY RATS!

This can't be real. Please say you're rusing us, user.

Go back to the guard and assure him that there are no more rats in the inns basement, and he is free to check if he doesn't believe you.

If he brings up the fact that there isn't a basement, point out that means it can't have a rat problem and the task he assigned to you is completed.

But to build a basement like that in secret, he needs workers. Magic to cover their trail, or just really strong magic to simple make the basement build itself.

You also need a cabal of verminmancers to summon and bind the rats to the basement so they don't leave. The bigger and nastier the rats, the better.

You are, effectively, the small scale BBEG of this town. The rats are coming, can't you hear them?

THE RATS

Clearly the patrons were the rats, user
better slaughter them so they can't reproduce, and clear out their little nests so the little ones can't rebuild

Lies within lies, there's no way an inn doesn't have a basement unless it's located in a city with some specific zoning law saying they can't have one. The door was behind the counter where you couldn't see it.

The inn had a basement and a rat problem, part of your quest was figuring it out. They don't want some half-baked adventurer taking jobs in their town if all it takes is a few peasants laughing at him to put him off a quest.

Hand to Pelor, it's true. It happened a long time ago, and while I was crazy mad at the time, it's cool now. Although, soon after that we kicked out that other player, and now we only have 2 people from that original group, me and the dm of that story. But, we don't let him dm anymore.

I'm pretty sure the implication is that this shit happens on the reg. Guards see a green-looking adventurer, ask him for his "papers" (which anyone experienced would recognize as bullshit), then send him along to the tavern to embarrass himself by inquiring about the rat job.

10/10 DM desu senpai

>Lies within lies, there's no way an inn doesn't have a basement unless it's located in a city with some specific zoning law saying they can't have one.
Or, you know, it's in an area with a high water table.

How'd it go down directly? How'd your character react?

I mean jeez. Betrayed by your girlfriend staff.

Your GM is awesome, fuck off.

Hey, sometimes s girl needs some mileage.

was she at least getting railed by orc guards for maximum cucking?

Well to be fair adventurers are vagabonds that are often bad news since they go looking for trouble. Unless you have built up a reputation you SHOULD be treated with suspicion and ridicule.

Well, hey, she finally had a body again, she wanted to put it to good use, you weren't up to it...

>Unless you have built up a reputation you SHOULD be treated with suspicion and ridicule.
The way players tend to play their characters, once they have built a reputation they should be treated with even more suspicion, though probably not ridicule.

This is actually pretty funny, I've not heard of someone doing this before.

My character didn't have a lot of.time after that. So besides never trusting her or the other PC again, not much. Soon after that, there was the climax of this war we were involved in. The other PC died, the staff girl fled mid-battle. Me and the remaining PC rode off into sunset on the back of my Dire Giant Tortoise mount.

I spent a couple weeks away from the group, came back and had a good heart to heart with the dm. Everything worked out, I guess.

>the staff girl fled mid-battle

to this day she is still out there somewhere, getting fucked by bugbears

>this is how user turned into Pied Piper

>staff girl is probably someone's PC from an ERP game the GM is in, whose goal in life is to end up a dragon's cocksleeve

>instead of keeping tally on mighty beasts slain she has a mighty beasts laid list.

P gud really.

>instead of keeping tally on mighty beasts slain she has a mighty beasts lain list.
Why did I have to fix this for you? Do you even Carlos?

I'm sorry i can't brain today.

Well idk, the gangbang is a weird place to go with it but it seems appropriate to have the girl end up with the guy that went to the effort of getting a god to intervene to save her from her nightmarish existence, especially if he did it with no expectation of reward. On the other hand you have the guy who says he likes her but is clearly irritated that she's turned into a real person instead of a useful and compliant tool. Seems like the appropriate ending to me.

"Totems from a whole goblin tribe, gold from a dragon's hoard, hill giant scrimshaw, devil's shield. You must be one mighty adventurer miss to have amassed all these battle trophies."

"Oh no these are just gifts from my boyfriends."

"..."

You know, the staff girl was probably a succubus and the body she was given was probably just a normal human female. So instead of being a demon, she just turned out to be a slut.

It figures too, because sealing extraplanars like demons into weapons is what makes them intelligent, depending on the setting. I'm a bit rusty on Forgotten Realms, but I'm pretty sure that's how it worked. Cutter would be my example of this.

Alright, let's see how this goes
>be playing level 6 wizard
>dm hates my characters for some reason
>Probably because I like understanding and applying the rules
>try my best to roleplay though regardless
>anyways
>party arrives in new town after world shattering realization that our patron was the bbeg all along
>wizard decides to kip off to a bar and drink
>alone time is important for those magic types
>dm says "a prostitute approaches you and offers her services"
>fuckno.jpg
>"she drags you away anyways"
>"you now have chlamydia"

Think of it this way: I'm the guy who.likes her for who she is. I didn't care if she was a staff or a girl, we laughed together, we cried together. For almost two years all we could do was talk, and we got to.know each other on such an intimate level, that it grew into love. I was scared of the idea.of her having a body and having sex all in the same day. It's a lot to take in all at once.

Then we have the PC who never spoke with her or interacted with her at all. Not one word. He didn't even know she was a staff until the session before, and we had played for 10 months before that. He then didn't talk.to.me about giving her a body. Which I would have been fine with.

Then the dm, who decided instead of having an interesting and thoughtful interaction between two people who supposedly love each other, has the girl fuck everyone in the immediate area because he thought it was funny. He was cackling in his chair the whole time.

I.would have punched him if I didn't remove myself from the situation.

My new working hypothesis is that gangbang dm was taking revenge (in a kind of petty and passive aggressive way) for sitting through two years of you and other dm playing out a sappy romance between a wizard and his staff.

That's what happens when you roll a character that can be physically overpowered by a lady of the night, get drunk, and go off without your beefcake bodyguard. I bet you dressed provocatively, too. You were basically asking for it.

It was all the same dm. There was no other, it was the same person.

>implying
It's a pretty shitty GM who lets women have more than 14 strength in their setting.
Seriously. Dryads and Nymphs are both STR 10. Even Succubus are only STR 13. What kind of setting are you running where women kill people with blades? It's just not their style.

Nothing worse than slutty manwizards.

...

It's not a meme when RAW supports it.

Just up end half a dozen grey (?) bags of tricks, and flood the whole bar with small animals.

5e. Not that easy.

Be glad there wasn't actual rats there or worse a rat king.

youtube.com/watch?v=Zi_hSogLSAs

Rolled 7 (1d10)

The guards and other pc were obviously helping her via immersion therapy.
You should be proud of your waifu

>Not bullying weebs at your table

THis, weeb is for bully

But she's just a kid! No bully!

The more I hear about your shitty story the more I believe your DM was entirely in the right.

>It's a pretty shitty GM who lets women have more than 14 strength in their setting.
AD&D, which was the earliest adopter of different strength ranges for men and women that I know of, caps the strength for female humans at 18/50, which is obviously far above 14.

He was probably angling to charge a 10 gold "entry fee" or something before the adventurer comment, and decided to have some fun instead.

I've always wanted to start a company selling a cleaning solution or something called "Elbow Grease", just to further confuse things.

"Hahah, stupid new kid thought 'elbow grease' was a real thing!"
"Um... it is. I have some at home."

Good idea.

A basement can be just a hole big enough under the Inn, easy to do.

>AD&D
>good

Grog detected.

No, it can't be just a hole. It's the principal. This has to be a storeroom. It has to be stocked, maintained, well supplied. This has to be something the likes of which the King's own larder would weep in jealousy over.

And it must be utterly teeming with rats.

No. I prefer Basic, where there is literally no difference between males and females when it comes to ability scores.

Your GM sounds very juvenile. I guarantee he has an NTR fetish.

>NTR
>juvenile

?

/pol/ is that way.

>Be swashbuckler in pathfinder campaign we're all lvl 4
>Decide to chance through a frozen forest that was said to be controlled by cultists
>A day into the journey after finding many signs telling us to fuck off we encounter our first cultist
>Draped in black 500 feet away dancing and singing naked
>We all roll and quite hilariously fail a willsave
>Turns out he encapsulated us just long enough for most of our food to get nicked
>They leave watching us
>We press onwards
>That was our first mistake
>Life turns into hell
>Constant hit and run attacks
>Minor illusion up the ass
>Cant rest or get attacked
>Night falls and we set up a fire and the spell casters try to sleep
>Nights filled with the cultists banging pots and shields together
>Every hour one of them chances it and tries to sneak up and dump water on one of us
>More hit and runs
>Notes pinned to trees with hurtful messages and personal attacks
>Get fed up and decide to chase
>Run through traps and the like
>Mistake two was our ranger deciding to split off to chase one who ran with a limp
>Gets gang banged by three other cultists and nearly dies
>We kill two and they explode showing us we're fighting Dark Folk
>Meet back up and get ambushed
>No casualties on either side they spent attacks sundering clothing and bedding
>Relies we're barely half way through and starting to suffer from lack of sleep/food
>Turn back they leave us alone
Fucking hell GM brought up he just used tactics he thought an under armed and weaker force would use on a stronger enemy. Also brought up how surprised he was that we acted more or less like video game NPC's when it came to choosing targets and chasing.

>Playing swashbuckler
You deserve everything you get.

You GM sounds like alot of fun actually.

I've read that hentai.

>lethality is zero
>DMPC always bail the party out of tight spots
>everyone in the world is helpful and friendly except the villains
>PCs can do whatever the fuck they want and never face sterner repercussions than a finger shake, if there are any rivalries or persecutions aimed at the PCs they're mostly comic
>party's basically running a cushy 9/5 job going out, killing some monsters 1-2 CRs below them, then coming back to a royal feast and everyone hailing them as heroes
DM's not an asshole, actually as chill a dude as can be...but sometimes I feel like we're metaphorically wrapped into five layers of sweaters and bubble wrap and told to fight paraplegic puppies with boxing gloves on.

It would also be easier to swallow if the game was very lighthearted and cartoonish I guess, but we're basically CN Murderhoboes Extraordinaire: the Party

In a way, that makes it even worse. He actually put deliberate thought into fucking them over instead of just dropping rocks on them or something.

Bigby's Grasping Beard?

Reminds me of Bard's Tale.

ntr is for the criminally insane

Luigi stop whining

Your DM is a filthy cuck fetishist and you got magical realm'd

"You collapsed the inn!'

"Thus filling the basement and removing the rodent problem!"

"People died!"

"So I get extra XP?"

Had a GM like this once.... made it a point to kill his PCs ( usually in over the top contrived manners) when my turn came up and to kill his special snowflake GMPCs at any and every opportunity that presented itself.
One of the others assisted me and the other didn't give a shit.

I can't believe this is in an asshole GM thread.

Sounds like the worst - or perhaps only - crime here is you and the GM had differing expectations of how the game would work and what sort of things to expect in it. Sounds to me like you're upset - or at least upset enough to call the GM an asshole - because you were expecting a more...I'll put it lightly and call it a more traditional kind of foe who passively awaits you in some kind of preplanned encounter scene that's balanced juust so that you'll win but not without effort, that kind of thing. You came up against a challenge you weren't expecting, but it's neither an unfair one nor something I would argue is "technically" within the rules not not intended.

If you don't want to worry about things like rest and supply, don't play games that model rest and supply. If the game models those things they're fair game for the GM.

*but not intended.

Admittedly, not clearly communicating what to expect in one's game IS a fault of the GM, but it hardly makes him an asshole not to spoil things for you.

Realism isn't /pol/
or is it?

>Be DM
>Make a fun joke to immerse player in my world
>actually have guards be remotely interesting
>He goes into full autism rage and complains on chinese cartoon board
>calls me an asshat
Why do I even dm anymore? Fuck you Ryan.

Nigger, the fact that the world can be flexible and proactive with human intelligence behind it is like the #1 strength TTRPG has over video games.

Fuck off back to World of Warcraft if what you really want is a passive, unchanging explore->kill->loot->explore loop while your skinnerbox reward XP and gold slowly increases.

Some of us like having to actually think and adapt our strategy to unplanned-for or changing context.

>Probably because I like understanding and applying the rules
If a new player of mine told me "I like understanding and applying the rules," I'd instantly mark them as a powergamer munchkin or a rules lawyer.

Are you sure your GM wasn't passive-aggressively getting back at you because you were minmaxing or arguing over the rules to the detriment of everyone else's fun?

Didn't this happen in Bard's Tale? The remake

>always wanted to start a company selling a cleaning solution or something called "Elbow Grease"
I've some bad news, user

I'm stupid.
Also, check'em.

No, there was an actual rat in the basement besides the firebreathing one.

No, in that game there was one very large rat rather than a bunch of minor rats.

Your fault really, everyone knows Ryan is a faggot

Not really necessary to sus out the logic behind all of this. His DM was clearly just a tool.

Agreed

R E K T

Also, I think your GM was in the right.
>be stuck in staff forever
>bond with one wielder, become his SO
>some other guy literally gets a god to give me a body again
>finally I can get some for the first time in decades
>go to BF, finally to get some man-meat
>he gets cold feet, runs the fuck off
>butyouwerethechosenone.jpg
>don't care, it's been decades, gotta get some NOW
>complain to dude who freed me
>next thing I know I'm in a room with nine guys I barely know

You fucked up so badly user. You could have had a thirsty cleric waifu, but instead you got cucked.