>Playing first-level sorcerer >Approach village >Guard demands traveling papers >WTF.jpg >Tell him I'm an adventurer, and I ain't got no papers >"Adventurer, eh? The inn's having a rat problem, go help them out and we'll let you in." >First quest, fuck yeah! >Go to inn >Talk to bartender >Tell him I'm an adventurer, here to kill the rats in the basement >Whole bar laughs at me >MFW no rats >MFW no basement
>GM does an excellent job imersing the player into the town's atmosphere >"Waaaaa the GM is mean! I hate him!"
Charles Nelson
You now realize that nobody had traveling papers to begin with and literally everything the guard said was a lie.
Joshua Morales
Exactly, your first quest was probably to kill the guard.
William Campbell
Man, shut up, that's hilarious.
Try This one: > playing a half elf sorcerer >had a staff with the soul of a cleric trapped inside >all sorts of powers >travel with staff girl for a long time. Develop relationship. >one of the other pcs goes behind my back >petitions a God, asks for staff girl.to have body again >boon granted >super passed that I lost my staff >whatever, now I can be with girl >things get heavy really fast >stop because it's too fast. We stop >go for a walk, clear my head >get back >open door >staff girl is gangbanging 8 random soldier and the pc.who got her a body in the first place. >breaks trust, ruins relationship. >dm says he did it for the lulz.
Xavier Ward
But he lied! GMs can't lie to players!
Joshua James
Seriously, the idea of townsfolk hassling newbie adventurers with fake quests is pretty fun. It's like being told to fetch some elbow grease on your first day at the job.
Austin Nguyen
Mein Gott...
Brayden Peterson
You have to separate the GM speaking as himself and speaking as a NPC, user.
Jordan Richardson
>important NPC tells us major plot point >since we've been tricked before, have detect lies spell up >reads green >turns out it was wrong >go in completely wrong direction >waste time, people die >haha, NPC believed it himself, he was honestly relating inaccurate information, fuck you.
Austin Hughes
>It's raining
Tyler Rogers
>RAINING BLOOD
Cooper Wood
That's hilarious.
Now you have to get back at them by gathering a bunch of rats and letting them loose in the basement.
Evan Clark
It's a dick move, but it checks out mechanically.
Ryder Cruz
>MFW no basement
Just one little problem with your plan user
Nathaniel Wright
But seriously, there's no way that inn didn't have any rats.
Ethan Morgan
He just has to secretly build a basement.
>Oh, man, since when did we have a basement? >OH GOD'S, SO MANY RATS!
John Murphy
This can't be real. Please say you're rusing us, user.
Aaron Baker
Go back to the guard and assure him that there are no more rats in the inns basement, and he is free to check if he doesn't believe you.
If he brings up the fact that there isn't a basement, point out that means it can't have a rat problem and the task he assigned to you is completed.
Chase Bailey
But to build a basement like that in secret, he needs workers. Magic to cover their trail, or just really strong magic to simple make the basement build itself.
You also need a cabal of verminmancers to summon and bind the rats to the basement so they don't leave. The bigger and nastier the rats, the better.
You are, effectively, the small scale BBEG of this town. The rats are coming, can't you hear them?
THE RATS
Adrian Rogers
Clearly the patrons were the rats, user better slaughter them so they can't reproduce, and clear out their little nests so the little ones can't rebuild
Jaxson Phillips
Lies within lies, there's no way an inn doesn't have a basement unless it's located in a city with some specific zoning law saying they can't have one. The door was behind the counter where you couldn't see it.
The inn had a basement and a rat problem, part of your quest was figuring it out. They don't want some half-baked adventurer taking jobs in their town if all it takes is a few peasants laughing at him to put him off a quest.
Andrew Hill
Hand to Pelor, it's true. It happened a long time ago, and while I was crazy mad at the time, it's cool now. Although, soon after that we kicked out that other player, and now we only have 2 people from that original group, me and the dm of that story. But, we don't let him dm anymore.
Jacob Hall
I'm pretty sure the implication is that this shit happens on the reg. Guards see a green-looking adventurer, ask him for his "papers" (which anyone experienced would recognize as bullshit), then send him along to the tavern to embarrass himself by inquiring about the rat job.
10/10 DM desu senpai
Levi Hernandez
>Lies within lies, there's no way an inn doesn't have a basement unless it's located in a city with some specific zoning law saying they can't have one. Or, you know, it's in an area with a high water table.
Christian Garcia
How'd it go down directly? How'd your character react?
I mean jeez. Betrayed by your girlfriend staff.
Anthony Peterson
Your GM is awesome, fuck off.
Ayden Adams
Hey, sometimes s girl needs some mileage.
Chase Adams
was she at least getting railed by orc guards for maximum cucking?
Cooper Davis
Well to be fair adventurers are vagabonds that are often bad news since they go looking for trouble. Unless you have built up a reputation you SHOULD be treated with suspicion and ridicule.
Lucas Green
Well, hey, she finally had a body again, she wanted to put it to good use, you weren't up to it...
Nolan Johnson
>Unless you have built up a reputation you SHOULD be treated with suspicion and ridicule. The way players tend to play their characters, once they have built a reputation they should be treated with even more suspicion, though probably not ridicule.
Jonathan Gray
This is actually pretty funny, I've not heard of someone doing this before.
Oliver Walker
My character didn't have a lot of.time after that. So besides never trusting her or the other PC again, not much. Soon after that, there was the climax of this war we were involved in. The other PC died, the staff girl fled mid-battle. Me and the remaining PC rode off into sunset on the back of my Dire Giant Tortoise mount.
I spent a couple weeks away from the group, came back and had a good heart to heart with the dm. Everything worked out, I guess.
Benjamin Butler
>the staff girl fled mid-battle
to this day she is still out there somewhere, getting fucked by bugbears
Hunter Ross
>this is how user turned into Pied Piper
Ethan Thompson
>staff girl is probably someone's PC from an ERP game the GM is in, whose goal in life is to end up a dragon's cocksleeve
Chase Martinez
>instead of keeping tally on mighty beasts slain she has a mighty beasts laid list.
Oliver Garcia
P gud really.
Jason Evans
>instead of keeping tally on mighty beasts slain she has a mighty beasts lain list. Why did I have to fix this for you? Do you even Carlos?
Aaron Miller
I'm sorry i can't brain today.
Dylan Russell
Well idk, the gangbang is a weird place to go with it but it seems appropriate to have the girl end up with the guy that went to the effort of getting a god to intervene to save her from her nightmarish existence, especially if he did it with no expectation of reward. On the other hand you have the guy who says he likes her but is clearly irritated that she's turned into a real person instead of a useful and compliant tool. Seems like the appropriate ending to me.
Thomas Ross
"Totems from a whole goblin tribe, gold from a dragon's hoard, hill giant scrimshaw, devil's shield. You must be one mighty adventurer miss to have amassed all these battle trophies."
"Oh no these are just gifts from my boyfriends."
"..."
Juan Gomez
You know, the staff girl was probably a succubus and the body she was given was probably just a normal human female. So instead of being a demon, she just turned out to be a slut.
It figures too, because sealing extraplanars like demons into weapons is what makes them intelligent, depending on the setting. I'm a bit rusty on Forgotten Realms, but I'm pretty sure that's how it worked. Cutter would be my example of this.
Ryan Reyes
Alright, let's see how this goes >be playing level 6 wizard >dm hates my characters for some reason >Probably because I like understanding and applying the rules >try my best to roleplay though regardless >anyways >party arrives in new town after world shattering realization that our patron was the bbeg all along >wizard decides to kip off to a bar and drink >alone time is important for those magic types >dm says "a prostitute approaches you and offers her services" >fuckno.jpg >"she drags you away anyways" >"you now have chlamydia"
Ian Hill
Think of it this way: I'm the guy who.likes her for who she is. I didn't care if she was a staff or a girl, we laughed together, we cried together. For almost two years all we could do was talk, and we got to.know each other on such an intimate level, that it grew into love. I was scared of the idea.of her having a body and having sex all in the same day. It's a lot to take in all at once.
Then we have the PC who never spoke with her or interacted with her at all. Not one word. He didn't even know she was a staff until the session before, and we had played for 10 months before that. He then didn't talk.to.me about giving her a body. Which I would have been fine with.
Then the dm, who decided instead of having an interesting and thoughtful interaction between two people who supposedly love each other, has the girl fuck everyone in the immediate area because he thought it was funny. He was cackling in his chair the whole time.
I.would have punched him if I didn't remove myself from the situation.
Jose Roberts
My new working hypothesis is that gangbang dm was taking revenge (in a kind of petty and passive aggressive way) for sitting through two years of you and other dm playing out a sappy romance between a wizard and his staff.
Thomas Bailey
That's what happens when you roll a character that can be physically overpowered by a lady of the night, get drunk, and go off without your beefcake bodyguard. I bet you dressed provocatively, too. You were basically asking for it.
Julian Adams
It was all the same dm. There was no other, it was the same person.
Caleb Myers
>implying It's a pretty shitty GM who lets women have more than 14 strength in their setting. Seriously. Dryads and Nymphs are both STR 10. Even Succubus are only STR 13. What kind of setting are you running where women kill people with blades? It's just not their style.
Julian Edwards
Nothing worse than slutty manwizards.
Benjamin Nelson
...
Julian Price
It's not a meme when RAW supports it.
Colton Gray
Just up end half a dozen grey (?) bags of tricks, and flood the whole bar with small animals.
Thomas Reyes
5e. Not that easy.
Brayden Jenkins
Be glad there wasn't actual rats there or worse a rat king.
The guards and other pc were obviously helping her via immersion therapy. You should be proud of your waifu
Robert Peterson
>Not bullying weebs at your table
Camden Diaz
THis, weeb is for bully
Joseph Richardson
But she's just a kid! No bully!
Joshua Davis
The more I hear about your shitty story the more I believe your DM was entirely in the right.
Gavin Robinson
>It's a pretty shitty GM who lets women have more than 14 strength in their setting. AD&D, which was the earliest adopter of different strength ranges for men and women that I know of, caps the strength for female humans at 18/50, which is obviously far above 14.
Elijah Foster
He was probably angling to charge a 10 gold "entry fee" or something before the adventurer comment, and decided to have some fun instead.
Nicholas Rivera
I've always wanted to start a company selling a cleaning solution or something called "Elbow Grease", just to further confuse things.
"Hahah, stupid new kid thought 'elbow grease' was a real thing!" "Um... it is. I have some at home."
Adrian Johnson
Good idea.
A basement can be just a hole big enough under the Inn, easy to do.
Adrian Myers
>AD&D >good
Grog detected.
Levi Davis
No, it can't be just a hole. It's the principal. This has to be a storeroom. It has to be stocked, maintained, well supplied. This has to be something the likes of which the King's own larder would weep in jealousy over.
And it must be utterly teeming with rats.
Xavier Howard
No. I prefer Basic, where there is literally no difference between males and females when it comes to ability scores.
Grayson Edwards
Your GM sounds very juvenile. I guarantee he has an NTR fetish.
Cameron White
>NTR >juvenile
?
Hunter Sullivan
/pol/ is that way.
Jack Rodriguez
>Be swashbuckler in pathfinder campaign we're all lvl 4 >Decide to chance through a frozen forest that was said to be controlled by cultists >A day into the journey after finding many signs telling us to fuck off we encounter our first cultist >Draped in black 500 feet away dancing and singing naked >We all roll and quite hilariously fail a willsave >Turns out he encapsulated us just long enough for most of our food to get nicked >They leave watching us >We press onwards >That was our first mistake >Life turns into hell >Constant hit and run attacks >Minor illusion up the ass >Cant rest or get attacked >Night falls and we set up a fire and the spell casters try to sleep >Nights filled with the cultists banging pots and shields together >Every hour one of them chances it and tries to sneak up and dump water on one of us >More hit and runs >Notes pinned to trees with hurtful messages and personal attacks >Get fed up and decide to chase >Run through traps and the like >Mistake two was our ranger deciding to split off to chase one who ran with a limp >Gets gang banged by three other cultists and nearly dies >We kill two and they explode showing us we're fighting Dark Folk >Meet back up and get ambushed >No casualties on either side they spent attacks sundering clothing and bedding >Relies we're barely half way through and starting to suffer from lack of sleep/food >Turn back they leave us alone Fucking hell GM brought up he just used tactics he thought an under armed and weaker force would use on a stronger enemy. Also brought up how surprised he was that we acted more or less like video game NPC's when it came to choosing targets and chasing.
Austin Flores
>Playing swashbuckler You deserve everything you get.
Nathaniel Smith
You GM sounds like alot of fun actually.
Owen Reed
I've read that hentai.
Jeremiah Campbell
>lethality is zero >DMPC always bail the party out of tight spots >everyone in the world is helpful and friendly except the villains >PCs can do whatever the fuck they want and never face sterner repercussions than a finger shake, if there are any rivalries or persecutions aimed at the PCs they're mostly comic >party's basically running a cushy 9/5 job going out, killing some monsters 1-2 CRs below them, then coming back to a royal feast and everyone hailing them as heroes DM's not an asshole, actually as chill a dude as can be...but sometimes I feel like we're metaphorically wrapped into five layers of sweaters and bubble wrap and told to fight paraplegic puppies with boxing gloves on.
It would also be easier to swallow if the game was very lighthearted and cartoonish I guess, but we're basically CN Murderhoboes Extraordinaire: the Party
Asher Scott
In a way, that makes it even worse. He actually put deliberate thought into fucking them over instead of just dropping rocks on them or something.
Camden Myers
Bigby's Grasping Beard?
Xavier Ross
Reminds me of Bard's Tale.
Matthew Cox
ntr is for the criminally insane
David Smith
Luigi stop whining
Sebastian Rogers
Your DM is a filthy cuck fetishist and you got magical realm'd
Ayden Rodriguez
"You collapsed the inn!'
"Thus filling the basement and removing the rodent problem!"
"People died!"
"So I get extra XP?"
Camden Johnson
Had a GM like this once.... made it a point to kill his PCs ( usually in over the top contrived manners) when my turn came up and to kill his special snowflake GMPCs at any and every opportunity that presented itself. One of the others assisted me and the other didn't give a shit.
Jack Jackson
I can't believe this is in an asshole GM thread.
Sounds like the worst - or perhaps only - crime here is you and the GM had differing expectations of how the game would work and what sort of things to expect in it. Sounds to me like you're upset - or at least upset enough to call the GM an asshole - because you were expecting a more...I'll put it lightly and call it a more traditional kind of foe who passively awaits you in some kind of preplanned encounter scene that's balanced juust so that you'll win but not without effort, that kind of thing. You came up against a challenge you weren't expecting, but it's neither an unfair one nor something I would argue is "technically" within the rules not not intended.
If you don't want to worry about things like rest and supply, don't play games that model rest and supply. If the game models those things they're fair game for the GM.
Austin Perry
*but not intended.
Admittedly, not clearly communicating what to expect in one's game IS a fault of the GM, but it hardly makes him an asshole not to spoil things for you.
Michael Gray
Realism isn't /pol/ or is it?
Dylan Young
>Be DM >Make a fun joke to immerse player in my world >actually have guards be remotely interesting >He goes into full autism rage and complains on chinese cartoon board >calls me an asshat Why do I even dm anymore? Fuck you Ryan.
Dominic Bell
Nigger, the fact that the world can be flexible and proactive with human intelligence behind it is like the #1 strength TTRPG has over video games.
Fuck off back to World of Warcraft if what you really want is a passive, unchanging explore->kill->loot->explore loop while your skinnerbox reward XP and gold slowly increases.
Some of us like having to actually think and adapt our strategy to unplanned-for or changing context.
Gavin Anderson
>Probably because I like understanding and applying the rules If a new player of mine told me "I like understanding and applying the rules," I'd instantly mark them as a powergamer munchkin or a rules lawyer.
Are you sure your GM wasn't passive-aggressively getting back at you because you were minmaxing or arguing over the rules to the detriment of everyone else's fun?
Dylan Baker
Didn't this happen in Bard's Tale? The remake
Camden Mitchell
>always wanted to start a company selling a cleaning solution or something called "Elbow Grease" I've some bad news, user
Luis Allen
I'm stupid. Also, check'em.
Zachary Roberts
No, there was an actual rat in the basement besides the firebreathing one.
Nathaniel Thomas
No, in that game there was one very large rat rather than a bunch of minor rats.
Austin Gomez
Your fault really, everyone knows Ryan is a faggot
Michael Stewart
Not really necessary to sus out the logic behind all of this. His DM was clearly just a tool.
Juan Butler
Agreed
Elijah Thompson
R E K T
Also, I think your GM was in the right. >be stuck in staff forever >bond with one wielder, become his SO >some other guy literally gets a god to give me a body again >finally I can get some for the first time in decades >go to BF, finally to get some man-meat >he gets cold feet, runs the fuck off >butyouwerethechosenone.jpg >don't care, it's been decades, gotta get some NOW >complain to dude who freed me >next thing I know I'm in a room with nine guys I barely know
You fucked up so badly user. You could have had a thirsty cleric waifu, but instead you got cucked.