So a week or two ago I made a thread asking for advice on one of my players girlfriend insisting she comes along despite having no interest in the game.
I got some good advice, most of which centred on just being reasonable and talking to her. I had, what I thought was a reasonable talk with her in front of her boyfriend. I just asked if she was sure she wanted to play and that I knew from previous attempts at games with our friends that I didn't think it would be her thing. (last time we just played cards and she was bored and uninterested then) since I didn't want her to feel left out and be bored because that wouldn't be fun for herself or anyone else. Anyway, she's taken it as a huge personal attack but is still insisting she comes and plays.
Should I just call the game off? She'll probably just end up ruining it anyway.
Jaxson Evans
Maybe stop being a jerk and let this woman play.
Ayden Jenkins
I'll take shit that didn't happen.
Luis Reed
She doesn't want to play, she has no interest and only wants to come to be with her boyfriend. Which I understand. I've said to her we can do something else and can do the game some other weekend.
And it happened like 30 minutes ago.
Jackson Gomez
So you were wrong and she wants to play and now you're thinking of calling the game off because of that?
I don't think she's the problem here.
Lucas White
>mfw OP doesn't want sluts at his game If you don't put some MDMA in their drinks and turn the game session into a bisexual orgy, you're a massive faggot.
Charles Johnson
>her boyfriend So your pic is entirely unrelated?
Gabriel Sanchez
None of this happened. You're shitposting.
GIRLZ TEEJ, AMIRITE? ;)
Fuck off with this.
Anthony Robinson
Just let her play. Worst case scenario: some chick stands in the back while the rest of the party does stuff. If she begins to complain give her a better-phrased version of, "well you insisted."
Austin Lee
Roastie, please leave.
Cooper Reed
Look dude, she wants to play the game and now that she does you're thinking about calling the entire thing off because reasons?
Holy shit dude, the only person being an unreasonable ass seems to be you, in this situation. You seem to be the one that's making this whole experience No-Fun for everyone involved.
Make sure she understands the game rules and go from there.
Nolan Lewis
Get the fuck back to your containment board, robot.
Lucas Myers
quit making such a big deal out of it and let the girl play faggot it's just a game
Hudson Wilson
I am literlly just here for the thread pic. Stop being such a fag, fag.
Evan Lewis
People aren't actually autistic enough to use "roastie" unironically right?
Thomas Hill
t.roastie
Wyatt Russell
They do, but only on /r9k/ and very, very rarely on /pol/.
Mason Torres
OP here; looks guys, I know full well that she won't be active and contributing. This isn't about her wanting to play the game. I'm not making it No-Fun I just know that it will be No-Fun when we have one player sitting on their phone, sighing every two minutes and bringing down the overall mood the group!
If you think this isn't a problem for the DM then you are the sort of player I've just described!
Austin Walker
GIRLZ AMIRITE TEEJ?
LOL
Ayden Bennett
Just try it. If she's not enjoying it and actively making it worse, you'll have a reason you can cite for not inviting her again. If she turns out to be actually good, even better. If you shut down the game so you won't invite her, you'll just look like an asshole.
Eli Wood
Actually, I know what you mean. Just run the game, ensure she feels bored and disinterested. Then she'll never, ever want to come again.
Just do things like normal. Don't bend over backwards for her. Let her show up, and let her do...Well, jack shit. Don't give her any more attention than you have to.
Basically, she's doing this because she wants to see what her boyfriend gets up to when she's not around. She's suspicious. Ensure that she's bored out of her fucking mind, and then she'll never want to show up again.
Xavier White
Just run the game. You're being a dick right now. If she doesn't like it and makes it no fun, then you can say "she didn't like it and made it no fun" Right now you're coming across as a childish weirdo and a little sexist
Gabriel Peterson
Bitches and whores. Rite guise?
Isaac Turner
This.
If you know she's gonna screw things up but nobody else believes it, permit her to demonstrate.
Tyler Morales
more like SPECIFIC GIRL AMIRITE TEEJ?
LOL
you're obviously a girl as well btw.
Wyatt Davis
LOL RITE DEY RUIN TOYS WIV COOTIES
Tyler Campbell
And then she comes the next time as well, bringing down the mood. And the next. And the next.
At which point is it okay to tell someone they fucking suck and shouldn't come anymore?
Anthony Torres
I'm New, what's roastie
Owen Thomas
>You aren't sexist, so you must be an icky girl I thought we were adults here.
Ryder Cook
Man, this board has become cancer.
Nathan Watson
Run the game normally and try to engage her like all the other players.
Try to not look for only the bad things: she might not bring the mood down, instead just... be there.
After the session talk to the other players and see if they are okay with her being there and go off from that: if she really bothers the rest of the group -bar her boyfriend- you will have confirmed your suspicions. Only then should you stop inviting her.
Jaxon Gomez
This isn't about her being a girl. If the player was gay and his boyfriend had already demonstrated no interest in this activity I would have the same attitude. There is already one other girl in the group is the GF of another player and she's great.
Ethan Peterson
Actually, it's become so much better ever since /d/ was almost exiled from here. "Is this magical realm?" garbage is really only a remnant, and it's nowhere as horrible as /d/egeneracy of the past.
Dylan Rodriguez
After they sucked. How is this hard for you to get? Give her a chance, and if she actually makes the game bad because she doesn't want to be there, then you'll have a leg to stand on when you say you don't want her to play again
Kevin Evans
Goddamn dude, by letting her play you're running the risk of one bad game session. By pissing off your other players by not letting the gf play, you're risking fucking up your whole group
Brody Flores
Wtf is everyone here presuming "sexism"?
I'm simultaneously female and a DM and I can perfectly empathize with not wanting Buzzkill Sig/Other making everyone uncomfortable. Quit the white knighting, already. It's fucking Veeky Forums.
This said I do believe the only option here is to bite the bullet and deal. Then tactfully talk to your crew, one on one, and ask them what they thought. If there's straight up bad blood between the two of you from a previous encounter, your buddy's being an ass.
Justin Howard
It's pretty obvious she wouldn't have fun being there and just bring the mood down. She seems to be a huge pain in the ass, why have her around?
Jaxson Sullivan
So she didn't enjoy a particular card game. How is that a good indication that she wouldn't like RPGs?
Chase Butler
No one cares how you identify.
Having a vagina doesn't give you special insight or make your opinion any more or less valid.
Aaron Reed
Thanks for a reasonable answer. There's no bad blood between his girlfriend and myself, I'd even consider her a friend. But I know what she is like as we've already seen what's she like when it comes to even fairly innocuous stuff like just playing cards. But I'll let her play, ruin a one off session and then use that to make my point about the next one.
Ian Rivera
Because it'll make the bf happy. Because it makes you seem like a reasonable person. Because if this comes up again with the same group you'll have better standing to say no. Because what if she gets into it and ends up being a good player?
Ryan Stewart
If the rest of the group are touchy male feminist factors like half this board they won't believe it til they see it for themselves
Adam Collins
>But I'll let her play, ruin a one off session and then use that to make my point about the next one. Finally, you see some fucking sense.
Charles Sullivan
>But I'll let her play, ruin a one off session and then use that to make my point about the next one. Jesus Christ, dude. If that's your attitude, it sounds like YOU'LL be the one ruining the session.
Anthony Williams
This. As the DM, your mood will influence the game's mood, which will then influence the group's mood.
The Big Boy thing to do here is to DM, and help her out. Give her pointers/advice before or after games. Communicate with the group. Let the group communicate with each other. Don't be a fucking child.
Jaxon Watson
Listen, man, take what you can get. I'm DMing right now, and invited a wife to come over and give it a try. She's even nerdy and shit like the husband, but she said "No thanks."
Fast forward six sessions, and she keeps asking him to come home earlier and earlier so they can play WoW together. And she's also scary when mean, so he's understandably pussywhipped. I'd rather she was here, even if she wasn't 100% into it for a few sessions, if he stopped leaving after a little over 2 hours. He left mid-fight last time, and I rolled for his dude the rest of the session.
Alexander Parker
Quit being such a fucking pussy.
Kevin Moore
He's the DM, he gets to decide what happens at the table. He already runs the session.
Jaxson Smith
Had a player bring his wife along she was kind of like this. Roll with it for at least one session. She may end up getting into it when she realizes it's a social interactions game rather than a strategy game like cards or miniatures games
Justin Foster
We told you to talk to her privately and find out what she thought. Instead you called her out publicly and lectured her on what you think think is what's good for her.
Nice job fucking it up, douchebag. This WAS her problem (possible lack of interest). As of now, it's become your problem with being too immature to handle having another man's gf in your group.
Learn some fucking communication skills. You took a legit problem and now have blown it up and made it worse.
Aaron Butler
She'll brew the greatest shitstorm ever and will turn your whole game group against you. Enjoy your nogames.
Aiden Collins
The issueis how he handled the problem, in a way that forces her to express interest she may not have and the bf to support her. He fucked it up himself with his ham-handedness.
Now he's compounding it with grand passive aggressive features that will destroy group. And at the end blame her.
Has nothing to do with her sex. It's his shit interpersonal skills.
Mason King
>I didn't think it would be her thing. (last time we just played cards and she was bored and uninterested then) Yeah because playing fucking card is the exact same as tabletop rpg. Goddamn, you're a retard
Xavier Wilson
If you were a decent gm, you'd run a game she might, even reluctantly, find enjoyable. I've done it. The girl got into the story, began writing me questions about her involvement and eventually married the guy who brought her to the game. I was the guy's best man.
I wkn't say she became a gamer for life. She eventually stopped playing but she's still married to the guy,, he still plays and his job, after each session, is to tell her what's going on... and she still asks me questions about the game's story.
She became my best female friend other than my own wife and it worked out real well because she's very good friends with my wife now, too.
David Ross
What makes you think that, user?
Xavier Martinez
I just spoke to her in a non-confrontational manner. I did it in front of her boyfriend so she couldn't accuse me of saying anything I didn't. He even agrees that I was being very reasonable. Also, since she doesn't leave his side then it was impossible to speak to her alone anyway.
Jacob Adams
You know, user, it sounds like you're gay for your player and jealous of his girlfriend invading the one activity you have with him. I mean, after two threads on the matter, this feeling is growing stronger and stronger.
Christopher Powell
I just don't like seeing my games get fucked up. I'm tempted to drop this guy along with his girlfriend.
Jordan Davis
The GF of my best pal came once to our game. Fortunately she spent six hours straight playing candy crush and making little noise. Both of them stopped coming when the resident girl of the table had some feud IRL with my pal and her gf.
Nathan Turner
It really does.
Samuel Sanchez
I'm tempted to say your game is shit and you're a shit GM.
Logan Wilson
Stop being a fucking sperg and treat this shit like you're supposed to, a good time not some fucking specialist club.
see what I just said, if you can't accomodate people of varying taste and interests, then you aren't really the one that should be running games and hosting shit.
Noah Flores
Do them a favor and drop them.
Do us a favor and kill yourself.
Luke Clark
Y-you too.
Christopher Brooks
ITT: cucks unironically white-knight for a female not interested in Tabletop who probably doesn't even exist
This is just sad to watch.
Wyatt Butler
> cuck > a female I've got virgin bingo
Jackson Diaz
>No, it's everyone else that's wrong.
Dude, everyone is telling you to do the one session, see where it goes, and move along. You're going to drop someone because there might potentially be a bad session in the future. How do you know she won't get into this shit? Cards is another realm altogether than fantasy.
Jaxson Martin
>Wow your an asshole because you do not accommodate that one person who comes to your games and isn't even interested in them
what
Joseph Hernandez
Nobody is saying anything about accomodating someone, you dumbfuck.
James Peterson
Did you just bingo yourself?
Owen Ramirez
Look, these games have varying levels of interest and intent. Some folks are there to BS and have fun, some are there to seriously roleplay, some people are there just because their friends are there. As the host it is your job to bring these disparate folks together and maintain interest.
Look I won't fault you if you try and fail but if you don't try at all, yes you are an asshole. This is not your private fucking playtime, this is a social event, there will be some concessions made to accommodate people if you don't get that, maybe get a clue.
Daniel Sanders
>I-I'm sure if I lie through my teeth I can look like a victim
OP is a fucking asshole because he's tempted to drop a player because his gf wants to play with them, and he thinks the gf will spoil the game just because "I know her" and "I played card with her, she didn't like it" even after she told him directly that she wanted to play, you bumbling retard.
Nathaniel Torres
>all this white knighting If it was a dude, you guys would say to kick him from the group immediately
With that said, just play ONE more game with her normally and try to give her more interactions cues. As it'll be good for her to realize it's more of a social game. Try to gain a new player.
If nothing changes then talk with her again, to either say what the hell she wants to or to stop going. Trying to satisfy these kinds of people is nothing but suffering.
Nathaniel Reed
>Nobody is saying anything about accomodating someone, you dumbfuck.
See > if you can't accomodate people of varying taste and interests
Are you literally too dumb to read, user?
Jonathan Howard
>I'm thinking of calling the game off >I'm tempted to drop this guy >You are the sort of player I just described!
We're assholes because we're on Veeky Forums. Get fuk'd. But we're assholes that care if a DM is going to shut shit down like he's Madagascar because he isn't meshing well with a girl that actively sought to get in his group.
Yes, there's a very real possibility she won't like it. You run that possibility with every new player. It took my three groups to find a bunch of knuckleheads that work.
James Bennett
I'll say OP is a little bitch all the same. Kicking who from the group? The dude who bring him? Or the one who has not even played ONE game with them? Oh yeah sorry, he got some ground here, the guy doesn't like fucking cards
Liam Lopez
If you can't handle a bump in the road because of course people are not equally interested or have the same expectations in a tabletop game, then you also shouldn't be running or probably even playing games.
Asher Price
I get that, you're right. I'm going to make an effort and try my best but I can already tell you how it's gonna go. And truthfully, I expect all the people flaming me in this thread know what the outcome is gonna be too.
Brandon Nguyen
>Look, these games have varying levels of interest and intent. Some folks are there to BS and have fun, some are there to seriously roleplay, some people are there just because their friends are there. As the host it is your job to bring these disparate folks together and maintain interest.
No sorry that doesn't make sense at all. I offer to DM a tabletop game, if you want don't want to play but just to sit there because you trust issues when it comes to your bf why is it my problem?
>Look I won't fault you if you try and fail but if you don't try at all, yes you are an asshole. This is not your private fucking playtime, this is a social event, there will be some concessions made to accommodate people if you don't get that, maybe get a clue.
I cant tell of you are legit autistic or just trolling.
Lucas Brooks
>Moving goalposts
Ah, I see you are legit retarded. Thank you very much, just wanted to confirm that.
Evan Bell
Somebody who's genitals look like a badly packed roast beef sandwich
Jonathan Phillips
I'm just confused how OP can be so presumptuous and think that that's alright.
Brayden Jones
Oh yeah, I fully expect you to crash this game with no survivors, already assuming she won't like it.
Well, he's a shithead. That's not new here, we have lot of them.
Gabriel Foster
>people are not equally interested or have the same expectations in a tabletop game
She has no interest or expectations! This is the whole issue.
Jason Butler
You presume.
Camden Green
You don't fucking know that, you shithead. You're just basing this on assumptions. Even worse, when the girl legit tell you she want to play, you assume she's just lying in your face because of jealousy or some shit
Carson Sanchez
>I expect all the people flaming me in this thread know what the outcome is gonna be too. yeah. No one is going to enjoy the game because you clearly are planning on not enjoying it. You'll blame the gf, the group will disintegrate, and you'll never, ever, not in a million years, realize or accept that it was your fault
Justin Roberts
Are you a fucking idiot?
Its not the GM's job to do that whatsoever. A GM is giving his time and effort to run it, he is well within his rights to get rid of people who are not actually invested. Why does this board despise GM's so much? You see the same thing when people act like its the GM's job to run what the players want instead of finding players who want to play what he enjoys.
Angel Roberts
>someone is recommending you try and understand that people don't all have the same exact interests and intent
Look, I get that autists don't understand social mechanics but don't act like everyone will meet your expectation for social action because everyone has different expectations.
You can pretend like this is a debate or an argument if you want but look, not everything works the way you want it to, that doesn't mean it's wrong.
No problem there, this is a solid opportunity to potentially get her interest. If someone just spergs out about it, of course it's no surprise a fair number of folks aren't interested.
It's just a social event, there is literally nothing wrong with liking it OR disliking it. You can either try to win her over on it or nor, but one is definitely more reasonable and social than others.
Jaxon Barnes
If it's a fucking chore for him, he shouldn't be running games.
Angel Rivera
I'm not being presumptuous. I talked with her, asked her if she was actually interested and wanted to play. She didn't even give me an answer. She just ignored me and started talking to her boyfriend, asking him why I was "having a go at her". Now, maybe I'm old fashioned, but does that sound like someone who wants to defend how intrigued they are by tabletop gaming or someone who is there to hang out with her boyfriend?
Please show your workings.
Jose James
>ITT: OP is a prick who hates the idea of dealing with a bad player for one session so much he's willing to drop another player and shut down the game because of it. He also responds poorly to criticism.
Kayden Lewis
> itt. things that never happened
Liam Murphy
Are you fucking serious?
That sounds like you acted like a fucking sperg, and she assumed you were either joking, or autist, or even sexist.
Yeah, that's "old fashioned", like asking a women if she really want to talk with the men instead of cooking, because you know, talking is intellectual and stuff. That's how you sounded like.
Austin Phillips
No, if its a chore he should get rid of the people or situations who make it a chore.
Not make himself unhappy to please idiots on the internet. This board is completely backwards when it comes to how games work half the time.
Justin Sanchez
It sounds like you were being a lot more aggressive than you think. Look at it from her perspective. Someone she cares about does a thing. She wants to take part in it because it involves someone she cares about. And you go at her with both barrels, "Why do you want to do this?! How much energy are you gonna invest?! EXPLAIN TO ME RIGHT NOW WHY YOU WANT TO DO A SOCIAL ACTIVITY WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!"
Jordan Parker
>if its a chore he should get rid of the people or situations who make it a chore.
Dominic Hughes
>Prospective Player: OP, I want to play. >OP: Oh, okay...but are you sure? I mean, really, REALLY sure? >Prospective Player: Yes. I said so, didn't I? >OP: Okay but I just want to be REALLY sure you want to do this we can totally do something else if you don't want to please don't ruin my game. >Prospective Player: Why are you presuming that I will? You having a go at me?
This is probably how it went down.
Dylan White
Er, except that's not how it went at all. I told her that it wasn't for everyone and that was fine and even offered other things to do on a Saturday night. Please don't assume I totally raged out on her. It only came to this because of previous social activities and I'd rather do something that takes less effort on my part if she's not going to invest any effort on hers. Which I think is fair, don't you?
Lucas Harris
Either you like running games and you're willing to accommodate folks to make those games happen (since fucking not everyone is gonna agree with all the expectations of tabletop the gm or other players have) or you're not.
The latter just involves the GM slowly getting rid of more and more players for being "inconvenient" then you can bet they'd be here complaining about how they never have players.