Meanwhile, on Kobold Veeky Forums

Guys, need some help. Boss's favorite plundering town picked up an infestation of Adventurers recently, Wizard, Cleric, the whole pack.

Any advice on getting rid of them? Preferably without getting turned into a newt.

Way I figure it, it's easier to make yourself not worth the effort than trying to get past their magical armory-whatsits and stuffs.
So then you got two options, right? One is to make yourself really fucking prickly. You got traps, I got traps, the Cleric's a trap, but you want MORE traps. Like, everything is a trap. Even traps are traps.
Maybe trapped traps are traps, I don't know I'm not a trapmaker, just an enthuastic amateur. Magic shit too, magic traps. And if they want something you've got, get rid of it if you can or trap it. Basically, you want the adventurers to realise that shit shit ain't worth it.
Option two is to play nice to them. Make it so getting rid of you just wouldn't feel right, it ain't worth it for even a heap of gold. Not a big heap mind, they're fucking adventurers after all and we're kobolds. But a small heap made of mostly silver, maybe.
To do that, less sure. I think it's more a case-by-case basis. Offering a bit of help/loots in exchange for a task went well last time my tribe got into adventurer troubles.

That, or just bugger off and lay low for a couple weeks and come back to help rebuild afterwards.

Problem is, I don't think the boss will want to hold off on plundering that town until the adventurers leave, or wait for them to come to him. He really, really likes plundering that town.

Make more fucking traps then. Shout at them that the town is secretly evil or something.
I should not have to tell you to make traps. This isn't /gob/. Oh by the way dragons are neat. I wouldn't normally say that but I feel like you're behind on the basics.

You've got several options.

has a point. Ramping up your trap production is definitely an option.

Likewise, attempting to make yourself useful to them is another option. Doesn't usually work, though. The scale-less savages don't really understand 'alliances' or 'friendship' or 'community'.

Personally, I'm more of a 'poison the well' kobold. There are a variety of parasites and toxins that don't bother us at all. Transporting them into sensitive areas of the town can lead to the scaleless ones becoming very sick, adventurers included. Then you could either offer them cures in exchange for non-aggression treaties, or let them die.

I just hope they aren't infested with 'Gnomes', disgusting little dirt-fuckers.

>I'm mixing drinks for the dragon and hating my life.jpg

Never had trouble with adventurers before. Ever since we made that sewer for copper town they've left us alone. Did have some trouble with orcs a while back. Maybe it's the same.

So first off, crossbows. Yeah, expensive as hell and hard to make but trust me a good crossbow is worth it's weight in gold. Any stupid-stupid can use one and you can use them in tunnels too. Y'heard me, indoor shooting. Good barracades also help. Something to rest the crossbow on when you're not cowering behind it. Put a pit trap in front of it and you've got somethin' serious.

Also, extra tunnels help. We had sneaky ways all over the mountain once. Turned an entire valley into one big trap with hidden crossbow nests from all directions. I know, I know, more ways for them to get in but if you keep the side tunnels under three feet it'll slow down most tall-folk.

I had one tunnel that was less than one foot tall. Cramptest half mile I know but there was a Strawberry patch on the other side. Strawberries! The females never look at you the same after you get them strawberry jam.

Finally, most other races don't do digging like we do. You want something, dig under it. Once, we dug this big cavern under a building and had the whole thing fall in. Never saw it coming.

I cannot recommend use of canine cavalry, and canine patrol packs. They are aggressive, loyal, integrate easily into civilized society, and breed quickly.

Fuck it, might as well post here. You might have grubs for brains but this board occasionally throws up gold.
Part of a big ol' warren on the giantbone mountains, tunnels and families over a few mountains. Nice life, if a little cramped for me. Point is, one of our tunnelers went and tunneled right into a dwarven mine system. Yeah. Impressive tunnels though, if kind of inefficient. All those straight lines!

Freaked both of us tribes -is it tribes with dwarves or clans?- there was a little blood spilled before we pulled back to assess what was going on.
Actually got a little talking done on opposite sides of the breach at range. Kind of funny seeing our dragon acolyte shout at the hairy fatties back and forth Half of it was "What? I didn't catch that, can you repeat that? And louder?" until we moved a little closer.
Way I figured it, both of us knew about the other but didn't realise we ranged this far underground so we didn't think to do any detecting or cleverstuff like that.

How boned are we? We're a big warren and all, but no patron and up against dwarves. No dragon means no dragonfire.

GNOME SLAVE WAT DO??