Is this a good short story

Is this a good short story

pastebin.com/KuxTiZ94

No: it's edgy and blandly written.

edgy is not actually a criticism

what you mean is that edgy, but badly written and void of value

yes it is you dummy

okay i'll just delete it then

That was bad. Why did you even bother writing that? what was the point?

i just felt the need to write it. the opening sentences started appearing my head and i went from there.

i'm sorry

edgy is valid criticism when it's criticizing edginess for the sake of edginess. If a story explores some idea and in the process dances along some edges, that's just fine. But edginess for the sake of edginess is gauche.

You dont need to apologize for being a genius user! Your work is grade a spiffy though I did not read it.

>Some would I "stared", but I don't believe in staring.

glaring and stupid mistake in literally the second sentence

but in some actual fucking effort you twat

you're not that special

>but in
karma is a bitch

i'm sorry i will kill myself for this piece it is beyond reprehinsible

You see, the Great Creator always sides with other creators, not the destroyers who pretentiously refer to themselves as critics.

Keep on chugging, OP. You are an artist.

Don't do it, OP! The repliers in this thread are just jealous. Your story is decent. Keep writing, and you will write great ones. I can assure you.

>Keep on chugging, OP. You are an artist.

No I'm not I am worthless as everyone in this thread has demonstrated beyond a resonible doubt

No I won't you just don't want blood on your hands

no, but someone already posted it in the thread where they were going on about killing themselves.

i remember the line about the ants, the rest is unmemorable, like a juvenile lydia davis kind of thing.

yeah, but i wasn't asking for you to waste your time on a critique for my post you pious faggot

when you ask for effort, you should put in effort

jesus you're retarded

>i remember the line about the ants, the rest is unmemorable, like a juvenile lydia davis kind of thing.

perfectly sums up why i should die

thank u

If you die, that's your choice and responsibility. I'm only speaking my opinion.

>when you ask for effort, you should put in effort
hoisted by your own petard yet again

yep

i know but this was a better way to put it than i could have in my shit tier writing

i am an effortless cunt i deserve death for giving the world nothing but drivel

thank u both