BURNED

you took it up the ass for some heroin?

Next time just get some lidocaine cream and get it over with.

no. it was a morphine overdose. i got extremely dizzy and passed out but didn't really think much of it until a few hours later when i noticed blood in the toilet after i peed (it didnt come from my dick because i wiped my ass after and the tissue was covered in blood). went to ER and they didn't really seem concerned about it

disclaimer: i do not pee sitting down like a girl. i was only sitting down because it takes ages to pee on opiates

you sound like a fruitcake lad

You play with gasoline?
Can you spell "stupid" or do you have to look it up? Do you ask your phone?

my intentions were good but i was under the influence of buckfast + budweiser + xanax

>bored
>find some zippo fluid lying around
>notice my budweiser cans on the floor
>coldest month of the year
>have a great idea (actually i just remembered
something i read on reddit)
>decide im going to invent a cheap portable heater so i can hand them out to the homeless
>take budweiser can
>pour some zippo fluid in it
>set fire to it
>the flame doesn't even last a minute without relighting
>conclude v1.0 is a failure
>get to work on v2.0
>take another can
>cut the top off
>fill it with scrunched up paper
>pour zippo fluid in it
>set fire to it
>the flame isnt so good
>figure its not getting enough oxygen
>puncture some holes near the top
>light it up again
>flame seem better but it seems buried by the paper
>try to turn the paper over
>hot hot hot
>throw it up in the air
>lands on my thigh

pic related: its v1.0

v2.0

>ive OD'd and bled from my ass and was sent away within 10 minutes.

This was a hospital in the UK?

yeah. they checked my blood pressure and said it wasnt a big deal unless i was old or it was a lot of blood. they said to see my gp if it persisted but it never

definitely 2nd degree, possibly 3rd

1st degree burns only leave a red mark, not a scab or wound.